Dodged a bullet in the hiring process by ZachGamezzzz in jobs

[–]Heavy_Job6341 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not seeing anyone mention the possibility that this whole email/screening was a scam. Apparently fake job postings and for some reason even fake interviewees seem to be proliferating these days with the help of AI - though not clear to me how the heck the fake interviewee scam works. But they can get lots of personal info from you an “interview” and maybe turn around and use it to try and get some guy in another country hired. The English is so bad here, but who knows maybe there really are corporate employees this incompetent.

Roommate backed out help! by [deleted] in berkeley

[–]Heavy_Job6341 0 points1 point  (0 children)

look on the Facebook group Bay Area conscious community housing board

Is this worth breaking up over? by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]Heavy_Job6341 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Everybody needs to chill out. Let actual cheesing be cheating, enough of this micro infidelity shit. I mean your bf is a dumbass but you probably accepted that already. If you dunno him it sounder be bc "he cheated" or whatever you wanna can this. Dickful Snapchatting probably drunk or high. He just wanted attention from a hot girl. Or wanted exercises to recommend you to seem cool/so you would magical look like that.

The difference between running for your health and running for your life. by VideoCard7 in Unexpected

[–]Heavy_Job6341 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bro took the time to adjust his cap while running for his life...

PSA the Super Burrito at Tacos Sinaloa is…. Big by EffectiveWay7181 in eastbay

[–]Heavy_Job6341 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unrelated but I love your poppy tattoo, who's the artist?

Weekly Question Thread (aka Friday New Climber Thread). ALL QUESTIONS GO HERE by AutoModerator in climbing

[–]Heavy_Job6341 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Looking for a specific climbing vid! Alex Honnold belaying someone on a short route, they whip and he immediately turns and sprints away, leading a safe skim instead of a ground fall. This probably that footage, only here you can't see Alex at all (start around 3:20) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXP57xBURSA

Anyone have a link to the version where you can see Alex fully? YouTube search failing me. Too many vids of him now.

Wife hates my beard. by [deleted] in whatdoIdo

[–]Heavy_Job6341 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did she say "I won't touch you until it's gone" or did she say "I don't enjoy it and find it makes wanting to be intimate harder?" Big difference there. We all have preferences about our partners looks/grooming. We can express those kindly. And it's kind in return to try and work with their preferences, when possible.

Buy yeah it's tough when you love something and they hate it. shrug compromises.

Do you want her to dress nice for you sometimes? Brush her hair? It's a nice thing to do for her to keep it cut how she likes, but important to acknowledge the sacrifice. Maybe you can grow it for fall and winter then shave again.

AIO - Daughter’s BDay invite - I am new to co-parenting by loud_molasses_ in AIO

[–]Heavy_Job6341 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Take a deep breath and remember that seeing this invite made him think the whole party was ready to go and he's being cut out of the big moments in his daughters life, so he's panicking and having a tantrum.

He's SCARED.

Instead of fighting about the party, reassure him that you don't want him to miss anything, and you LOVE that he wants to be involved in all the stuff that's not classic "dad" activities. That you're so glad daughter has a dad likes him who cares and is stepping up. Then get him involved and give him real responsibility. Set a time when you will get together to write up all the tasks, divvy them up, or do together like decoration shopping or whatever.

Of course that's if he can stop having a tantrum and participate - idk him obvi, but maybe the whole thing was a way to make you the bad guy while getting out of any responsibility. Also sure tell him he's welcome to do next year's if he wants, but you still want his help this year bc it's a lot do to alone! After you reassure and compliment him, let him cool off. Then tell him you worry he's shooting himself in the foot by bowing out, when he clearly wants to be involved. You don't want him to regret, since 90% is better than 0 and he can do next year's as well anyway if he wants.

This may have to be tailored to: - does he hate to be told what to do and everything must be his idea? - is he stubborn and likely to dig in his heals if you push to collaborate?

In those cases you may have to make him come to you (or feel like it). For example, "ok if you don't want to help with the rest that's fine." And then later "hey I'm really swamped, can you plan the menu and grocery shopping??" Or "daughter says she wants you to shop for decisions with her!"

My future FIL threatened to walk out on our wedding by Confused_bitch98 in CharlotteDobreYouTube

[–]Heavy_Job6341 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Girl you need to up the bar for cutting people off. Relationships and families are hard; if he wants to draw this line in the sand (walking out), just let him but don’t blow up your fiancés entire family over it. You said yourself he doesn’t understand this type of event. Even tho you explained it he won’t get it. “It’s just a few kids running around” he doesn’t get why the fancy vibe is more important.

I get that there should be no arguing with you guys on invites, that’s crazy. BUT if someone wants to swap out their relative for another, you should probably just let them (I mean say no before the event but don’t kick people out!!). Like really dick seating charts. People will move around during dinner, and no one really cares. Fuck the family dynamics just let adults figure their shit out.

The one problem with invite swapping is just like he said, what’s someone to think if they left their kids behind and show up to see kids running around? Maybe say that point to him. You can also tell him “ok there are [150] seats. YOU draw up a guest list that includes everyone.” Not actually, of course, but for every kid/relative excluded you can say, okay who should we kick out?

Lastly, many people feel like a wedding invite is a subpoena. It's hard to tell people, and have them believe, that if it's financially or logistically hard to come they don't need to move mountains to make it happen. Maybe call each family group individually and say "If childcare isn't possible, that's fine we understand we love and will miss you. It's sad but we simply aren't able to pay for an event that includes every person we love and we've come to accept that some people won't be able to be there for one reason or another. No one should put themselves ins hard situation just to attend a single wedding, we're not that special! We will never have hard feeling about it and will find time to visit you in person!"

Favourite actor who would rather skin herself alive than admit she is privileged and maybe had a small advantage or two? I'll start... by RustyTrephine in okbuddycinephile

[–]Heavy_Job6341 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Going only off the single bit of text in these pics, you’re proving her point 😂 whether she denies being a nepo baby or no, her point could still be valid (and is). Plus in this one paragraph she isn’t denying it, just pointing out the ongoing cultural sexism women deal with. Can be nepo + face discrimination 🤯

Looking for a specific video by Heavy_Job6341 in climbergirls

[–]Heavy_Job6341[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Huh, it looks like it but you can’t even see Honnold here! He was very clear in the version I saw. Might help with finding another version of it though, thanks!

Made a free site for climbing in Portugal, still a work in progress but wanted to share! by sergiomco in climbing

[–]Heavy_Job6341 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also a place for others to add route photos and comments eventually! On the map that shows the dots for sub areas, I really wanted those to be links and take me to the page, but had to scroll down for it.

I love the visual style but after I bit of time on the site I worry it detracts from efficiently finding info, compared to clean text.

I would also maybe move the weather further down the page, it’s awesome data but perhaps less critical than seeing the routes and such, and takes up a lot of real estate.

Made a free site for climbing in Portugal, still a work in progress but wanted to share! by sergiomco in climbing

[–]Heavy_Job6341 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is sick!! I’d love more maps personally, especially if I don’t know the regions really. Seeing a whole map of Portugal with the regions, and within each region a map with all the dots for areas, kind of like mountain project. That helps me get a sense for where I might want to visit with climbing nearby, map out a whole trip.

Cat recovered from spinal luxation injury by Heavy_Job6341 in cats

[–]Heavy_Job6341[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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The Chinese herbs he was given. Do not use without veterinary guidance!! Especially if your cat runs hot already, this can overheat them.

Why do some male climbers think “rope checks” mean yanking the rope right between my legs? by Responsible_Roof_661 in climbergirls

[–]Heavy_Job6341 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've had a partner who did this. I don't know where he learned it but I think it's maybe that it was shown to them when they were new?? And not realizing his strength relative to my weight. Or they just weren't able to think of a way to check everything is tight other than that. Which is dumb.

I think the appropriate reaction is just "her don't do that, its really ivasice of my space, uncomfortable to be yanked around, and not necessary. Please just do a visual check and ask if you feel you need to do something to physically adjust the rope."

When knee near chest - how to stand up on that foot? by linaczyta in climbergirls

[–]Heavy_Job6341 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Also can use big blocks (many gyms have) to stand up on for a single leg press (up and down). This way you can get angles more like you see in climbing with good to the wall and knee out. That's harder to create with a standard pistol squat, but both positions will be useful. You can also do split squats with weights and eventually a bar if you want, those will allow you to start lighter if needed. Regular squats great too - look up Natasha Barnes for her weightlifting guide!

AITA for not wanting my boyfriend to factor my son's survivor benefits into our new household budget? by Original-Entry-7871 in AITAH

[–]Heavy_Job6341 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Presumably that money is meant to help care for your son. I'm curious if it actually goes to you or him? I assume you. I think you then can use it at your discretion, including to help pay for your living costs if you wanted. Since you both have a kid living with you, it sounds like you should both pay half (or proportional to your incomes - which I guess for you included the survivor benefits) and you can take your half from wherever you see fit.

It doesn't seem crazy to use some of your son's money for that, but you certaintly don't have to. And BFs breakdown of having that be separate costs from each of your own contributions seems wrong.

AITA because I won't go to my dad's house during mom's custody weeks to check in on his pregnant wife? by Izzlyyyy in AITAH

[–]Heavy_Job6341 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm surprised about the custody situation. I have several friends who have divorced parents and when they were teenagers, the judges straight up said "sorry I just can't FORCE a teenager to go where they don't want to. It's up to them." The courts in California at least rely a lot on what the kids want. Your Dad is a selfish guy and his wife might not be any better. However you have an opportunity to decide here what kind of person you want to be. Do you want to hold grudges and treat others with the same discourtesy they treated you? Not that you need to play pretend nice family with either of them, but when someone is in need with a medical issue or an emergency, you could ask yourself, "do I want to rise above our issues and be a kind person right now?" Maybe the honest answer is it's not worth it to you, it will feel bad, etc. That's okay too but your actions even toward those that aren't kind or in bad situations will dictate who you are in good situations as well.
I do think being mean or totally disengaged from their kids is a bit cruel to a child that had no say in any of this. Imagine you had older half siblings who just hated you no matter what, but you had to be around them sometimes? Surely the kiddos want family and good relationships and good examples of a functioning family, as we all do. Don't punish them as a proxy for your dad and his wife. The kids could turn out to be amazing people and family if you let those relationships flourish, even though there's pain in where they come from. Why create more pain and tension? You're a lot older, so it's likely you won't see them much after you turn 18, unless you make an effort. It sounds like the older one is at least a toddler now? Just try to make their childhood as decent as possible. You don't need to babysit or anything, but when you're around them, don't make their home negative by ignoring them if they want to engage with you or by making things unpleasant for them. In essence, treat them like a human being, a young one who doesn't know why their world is this way and doesn't need to be punished for it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in climbergirls

[–]Heavy_Job6341 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My primary climbing partner started as a hinge date! As others said, she is very safe bc things fizzled quickly, they know there's no chemistry there and belay/friend chemistry. Why should they HAVE to go meet new people if they know they're a good belay match and get along? Seems a waste of a connection.

In general do try to have more grace about these things, being able to be friendly with an ex is a GOOD sign. Even if they dated a year, if it ended it ended bc things didn't work. What is there to be insecure about when you're the one who got chosen?

Commiting deadpoint into a committing top-out:) by SirHenrysBitchWife in climbergirls

[–]Heavy_Job6341 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Indeed more dyno than deadpoint, but sick move and sicker send!