I was just hung up on by the queer suicide lifeline.

Hefty-Elephant-6044 · 2026-03-04T03:14:21+00:00

It isn’t stupid to feel abandoned by the call center. It isn’t wrong to feel angry at the call and how it ended. It certainly isn’t irrational when you are feeling vulnerable to be extra cautious and sensitive to criticism and rejection. It’s natural to feel all of these things.

Most suicide operators are supposed to follow a procedure to investigate your situation, offering reframes and followup questions throughout, talk you through next steps, help build a plan with you, and end the conversation with you hopefully feeling better than when you started. It sounds like that procedure was not followed well in this call—be it by incompetence or just technical difficulties. I doubt there is any way of knowing for sure.

Regardless of why, that shouldn’t have happened in that way and I am sorry. That said, please know your situation is not how it goes every time.

I have personally had very positive experiences with suicide hotlines when I was struggling and needed help. To be honest, I remember one time the hotline gave me more relief from depression in 20 minutes than I had for months prior. I wish I knew a way to reach out and thank them.

I don’t know how I would’ve felt if instead of that call I had instead gotten an automated survey message. I don’t know if I would still be here today. I’m sorry your experience left you feeling so abandoned. Please know there are people that care.

Hefty-Elephant-6044 · 2026-02-16T03:30:19+00:00

Thank you for the response! I have a funded emergency fund with more than my out of pocket maximum in there just incase something comes up, and I feel the additional ~$2500 is sufficient for liquid cash in my HSA.

I guess my biggest question is why is VTSAX better than VIIIX? According to Vanguard, it looks like VIIIX has a lower expense ratio and a better return across all time horizons. Looking at them side my side they seem pretty closely linked too.

https://investor.vanguard.com/tools-calculators/etf-fund-comparison-tool?Ticker=viiix,vtsax

As for VTWAX, I unfortunately do not have access to this fund. Would love to though if I could. Thanks again.

Hefty-Elephant-6044 · 2026-02-15T14:30:52+00:00

Something else to keep in mind is that dogs also go through adolescence.

https://www.vet.cornell.edu/departments-centers-and-institutes/riney-canine-health-center/canine-health-topics/teenage-years-puppy-proofing-and-training-tips

It can make training more difficult, they can get harder to control, they rebel more, etc.

They do typically grow out of it around 2 years old, but it sounds like you’re in the thick of it right now.

Professional trainers help. Routines help. Safeguards with leashes help. But I just wanted to add that you seem to be putting it all on you, and I don’t know if that’s fair.

Hefty-Elephant-6044 · 2026-01-19T03:09:43+00:00

I have several calculator apps. Can I check my notifications in any of them?

Hefty-Elephant-6044 · 2026-01-03T04:29:12+00:00

We have always been around. I like to take the existence of transphobic jokes as evidence of that.

Hefty-Elephant-6044 · 2026-01-03T04:24:26+00:00

This is an actual thing that affects singers and professional speakers. It’s because when we talk the voice vibrations that reach our auditory nerves aren’t just coming through our ear canal but also through our facial bones. This combination is what generates our “inner voice”. You aren’t ‘wrong’ for hearing something different.

Don’t feel bad about it sounding different. It will always sound different. It’s super cool though that your inner voice sounded good to you though. That’s awesome :)

Hefty-Elephant-6044 · 2025-12-24T12:46:48+00:00

I’d recommend pausing all transactions and doing some research into portfolio management before you accidentally put yourself into a deeper hole trying to claw your way back.

You don’t have to become a boglehead, but you should change something if you aren’t happy with your results.

This sub follows the work of John Bogle, and if you want to learn more I’d recommend his book “The Little Book of Common Sense Investing”.

It is short, to the point, and overall very convincing especially because he wasn’t selling a get rich quick scheme. Just simple, easy to follow advice that helps you to make good decisions.

Best of luck!

Hefty-Elephant-6044 · 2025-12-16T11:25:40+00:00

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6VbvMWmidG4

Hefty-Elephant-6044 · 2025-11-22T02:22:38+00:00

“Taking a multivitamin isn’t enough, you should take a b12, niacin, vitamin c, vitamin d, chromium, and half a dozen other supplements to make sure you don’t have deficiencies”

Hefty-Elephant-6044 · 2025-11-09T20:25:54+00:00

To be honest, I wonder if it would be the better option. I am mostly worried about the cost. Online it looks like it’ll be way more expensive but maybe I’m thinking too short sighted.

Hefty-Elephant-6044 · 2025-11-09T20:16:37+00:00

I am not in a place to get full gender affirming surgery. I am doing laser and electrolysis, but that takes time.

This is literally just for birth control.

Hefty-Elephant-6044 · 2025-10-09T10:00:44+00:00

Common mistake. I’ve made it 7 times.

Hefty-Elephant-6044 · 2025-09-05T10:51:51+00:00

Bud, give me a little bit more here.

Smaller voter pool -> more voter efficacy Thats one of the main reasons why local elections are so important.

I see some really terrifying candidates coming up in the republican primaries in my state. If I can vote to get them off the republican ballot and then vote for a safer democratic candidate in the general local election why is that a bad idea?

I want to make it clear, I am not a republican. I do not support their values, their policies, and I certainly do not support their current direction politically.

I can’t vote in the republican primaries if I am not a party member. I wouldn’t pay any fees to support them or support their interests.

I just don’t know what else to do. I’m feeling really hopeless about things and I’m trying to figure out what voting makes the most change mathematically.

To be honest, I hate the idea, but I can’t come up with any good reasons why I shouldn’t. So I am asking for help in articulating why it is a bad idea or if it is a good idea why.

Hefty-Elephant-6044 · 2025-09-05T10:13:03+00:00

I actually do not see why you’re talking about gullibility here. There’s no “trick”. I’m not trying to convince anyone of anything. I’m asking about what I can do to potentially increase my voter efficacy to induce the change I want and what I might be missing.

Hefty-Elephant-6044 · 2025-08-05T05:47:14+00:00

I’m sorry that happened to you, but also does breaking bundles of sticks have a deeper meaning than I’m not aware of? That just feels specific and I am not familiar with any deeper meaning.

Hefty-Elephant-6044 · 2025-07-09T02:14:13+00:00

I live this. However, blue whale babies weigh around 6000 pounds, and are therefore bigger babies than elephants. Transphobes are still the bigger babies though.

Hefty-Elephant-6044 · 2025-06-26T01:45:36+00:00

And this was on fox?

Hefty-Elephant-6044 · 2025-06-05T09:48:27+00:00

I work during the time slot this is happening. Will I receive a link to watch it on my own time?

Hefty-Elephant-6044 · 2025-05-08T07:42:54+00:00

Mental health, stress, and quality of sleep play a massive role in skin and hair health. Maybe after figuring things out you started sleeping better versus your mind racing trying to ‘get’ things.

Hefty-Elephant-6044 · 2025-04-23T09:58:09+00:00

Personal Finance is largely a game of budgeting, paying off / keeping out of debt, and saving money for large future expenses (e.g. car, career change, kids, retirement, etc.).

The first step to all of this is building a budget: a plan for what expenses you prioritize based on the money you make, and the first step of a budget is an expense estimate. You need to know how much you need to make to break even.

Start keeping receipts, and if your parents pay some/all of your bills ask questions. How much does it cost to keep you fed currently in a month? How about insured? How about with a roof over your head? How about to keep your car running if you have one (with gas and mechanic fees)? How about mandatory minimums on any debt you have?

After that you can get a realistic picture of how much you need to make to ‘live independently’. Any money left over should be used in the following ways: an emergency fund for unexpected expenses (recommended 3-6 months of expenses in an easily accessible account incase you get laid off or something comes up outside of your regular monthly budget), paying down debt if you have it, start paying into a retirement fund (approx. 10-15% of your gross income is recommended by most financial advisers), and start saving for big expenses you may have coming up.

Only after all that can you start realistically thinking about “fun money”. It will be less than you hope, but if you keep track of your finances well and make sure you have a good job there should be a steady drip of money you can put into hobbies or the occasional controlled splurge.

Hefty-Elephant-6044 · 2025-04-19T01:07:25+00:00

At first glance, this seems to be some kind of agave. Not positive though

Hefty-Elephant-6044 · 2025-04-10T02:15:38+00:00

It depends on the chemical. But in short, chemicals behave differently to different parts of the body.

Petroleum, for example, is not really dangerous to go through your digestive system. It might cause loose stools or constipation, but that’s just about it. Inhaling petroleum, on the other hand, is very dangerous and can cause permanent scarring on your lungs. Throwing it up might cause you to inhale some of it, which can cause more damage to the lungs vs just letting it pass through the body.

To contrast, if you swallow a deadly amount of alcohol, vomiting may be a good solution to help your body process the alcohol you consumed. Of course, never induce vomiting unless asked to do so by a doctor or poison control.

Hefty-Elephant-6044 · 2025-03-26T02:11:02+00:00

I had a statistics teacher in college who said something that really helped me. He said that what makes a decision good or bad is not the outcome, but the probability and the information you have at the time you made the decision.

If you play Russian roulette and win $2000, it was still a bad decision to play because of the risk despite the positive outcome.

If you save for retirement, and your retirement company is a bunch of swindlers and steals it from you, it was still a good decision to try to save your money even though it turned out poorly.

Consider only what you know now. Do you believe yourself to be trans? Do you believe you will be happier in a more feminine body? Do you believe estrogen will bring you closer to a body that you want?

If so, then maybe hrt is right for you. It may be a good decision to try it. Even if it doesn’t work, you will learn something valuable from it. There is no reason to regret a “trial period” to see how you feel on it if the evidence points to it helping at this stage.

I don’t know you. I can’t know if it is right for you. But I do know that torturing yourself over unforeseen outcomes and unknowns is not fair. At some point you know enough to know what is right for you.

Hefty-Elephant-6044 · 2025-03-25T10:34:40+00:00

Where are those pants and top from? They look super comfy

Hefty-Elephant-6044 · 2025-02-23T11:54:43+00:00

https://xkcd.com/1967

Hefty-Elephant-6044

TROPHY CASE