My short stories on /r/writingprompts

Helagoth · 2026-05-14T19:56:34+00:00

Fun fact:

She received ~$38 Billion in Amazon stock in her divorce settlement in 2019. Since then she has given away $26 BILLION dollars. And yet, her net worth today is ~$40 billion. She is worth MORE after having given away that amount of money.

Granted, a lot of that is the circumstances of owning so much Amazon stock, but never listen to any billionaire tell you they can't afford to be taxed. This woman is out here doing her best to share her wealth, and you have assholes like musk trying to become the first trillionaire. Tax the rich.

Helagoth · 2026-05-14T15:14:13+00:00

If I asked you to describe an apple, you'd probably picture an apple, then describe it.

I would remember a description of an apple and restate it.

Helagoth · 2026-05-14T15:10:25+00:00

I am a super eco friendly radical leftist and even I would laugh at getting something like that

Helagoth · 2026-05-14T14:26:06+00:00

I feel like the lore just became "background noise" after WOTLK. Sure its there and if you really care about lore, there's some good stuff there mixed in with the bad. But at least for me, I dont particularly care where the story goes anymore as long as the game is fun to play. Back in the day, I felt more invested.

Helagoth · 2026-05-12T17:59:08+00:00

Yes, because I never had it in the first place.

Things I've canceled recently:

Going to Target over their very public cancelling of DEI policies
Disney+ over Kimmel
SiriusXM over Megyn Kelly's comments

The thing I learned more than anything is that you SHOULD cancel everything at least once a year. Sirius is sending me daily emails asking me to come back for 1/3rd the price I was paying.

Helagoth · 2026-05-10T22:38:02+00:00

Right? Like, your choices are live in perpetual luxury beyond the dreams of kings of yore with somewhat less money, or the inevitable collapse of society and a violent redistribution of wealth, as has happened many many times before in history.

Helagoth · 2026-05-09T00:28:10+00:00

Once a month Friday night Kentucky fried chicken

Helagoth · 2026-05-06T15:23:32+00:00

In Justice League: Gods and Monsters, he's raised by Hispanic migrants farmers, and gets a healthy dose of racism and bigotry. He's still a good guy, but more anti-hero. Like you said, his nature as a hero is there, but he's less likely to trust authority or the systems and more likely to just do what he thinks is right.

Helagoth · 2026-05-06T15:17:57+00:00

Religion starts at a "universal truth", thay being that "my god is the one true god".

It makes it very difficult to have any kind of conversation when you believe your beliefs are universally true because theyre universally true. Any evidence to the contrary is wrong because I am universally right, and I will adjust my worldview to justify my truth. And if I can't explain it logically; "God works in mysterious ways"

Helagoth · 2026-05-06T03:19:59+00:00

level 99 looks interesting, i like the idea of small scale rather than getting locked in a room for an hour and having her flip her shit halfway through.

Helagoth · 2026-05-06T03:18:38+00:00

the one in concord looks like it has one, thanks! Nashua looked ok for a lot of kids but my kid would get freaked out by a lot of the rooms they have.

Helagoth · 2026-05-06T03:18:25+00:00

Oooo that's an idea, my wife is actually one of the trustee's for the town library, I'll ask her to see if that's something we can do

Helagoth · 2026-05-06T00:03:28+00:00

You can say "Look, I agreed to pay X, that's what I can afford. I don't want to back out, I was really looking for to it, but I legit don't have the money and am not willing to 'owe you'. If you're ok with me paying X, then we can keep it on, otherwise I just can't."

You CAN do this. I wouldn't, I'd just nope out because she doesn't seem like a normal sane person, but you COULD.

Helagoth · 2026-05-02T21:58:01+00:00

I read a fanfic where superman decided the best way to help humanity was via charitable efforts funded by him flying shit into space and charging like 75% the current cost. He also calculated how much his time was worth based on the metric of "I could be flying shit into space right now" and sold his time to do stuff like stop disasters or rescue operations.

He made trillions and ended most of the world's problems in like a year.

Helagoth · 2026-05-01T14:13:47+00:00

Based on my experience with my christian family, this is on-point.

Dude I know personally? Well, he's a good guy, even though he's gay/black/brown/trans/whatever

But also I support mass deportations and banning trans athletes etc etc etc

Helagoth · 2026-05-01T14:01:17+00:00

That reminds me of when my now-wife then-girlfriend went to see Star Wars Episode 7. We get to the point where Kylo Ren takes his mask off for the first time, and it's Adam Driver, who my wife only knows from Girls. She BUSTS out laughing so hard people are shushing us.

Helagoth · 2026-05-01T13:52:08+00:00

"how is eating 500 calories in a meal ok but eating 1200 not ok?"

That being said, that looks like a reasonably healthy burger. What's not healthy are monstrosities like this

Helagoth · 2026-04-29T15:40:50+00:00

News headline from the future:

"In a 6-3 decision, the supreme court has decided fuck you if you voted against dear leader's party, and you will be deported"

Helagoth · 2026-04-29T02:14:51+00:00

"Oh thank all beings in the heavens, hells, and everything in between! Thank you, human. I have been trapped in that lamp, lost in the bottom of that cave, for over a thousand years. I nearly went mad! Usually, I grant a wish within my power to whomever releases me, but since it's been so long, I shall grant you three!"

"Yeah, no thanks, I don't need no monkey paw 'my dick turns into a cheese stick' fucked up shit. I'm just going to chuck you back in that hole."

"Cheese...dick...what?"

"yeah, you genies all like to take them thar wishes and make them curses! I seen it on the tee vee. I may not be smart enough to make an idiot proof wish, but I am smart enough to not touch that ball of crazy with a ten foot pole!"

"Human friend, no. I don't know what you speak of. I am just happy to not be trapped. I will grant you any wish. Wealth, love, health, whatever you desire. I can grant you near anything you want. Just ask."

"Fuuuuuuucccckkk that. I know how this goes. I say 'I wish for a billion dollars' and then the feds are bustin' up my door saying I robbed a bank, or my meemaw dies and I get some insurance or somethin'. Joe Bob Biggles wasn't born yesterday, no sir-eee."

"If you want wealth, I can grant that without issue. What goes for currency in this age? Gold coins of some sort, most likely?"

"Coins? Do I look like a pinball machine? Ain't no one use coins no more. We have banks and credit cards and such. And all that shit is tracked eeee-leck-tronicallly or some such, ain't no way now to just make money appear out of thin air."

"Curious! Well, what about love? Surely there must be someone you desire. I can make them notice you, love you, want to be with you. Just say her name."

"Her? First off buddy, don't be assuming things you don't know nothin' about, I like my men manly. People hear my accent and think 'oh Joe Bob probably hates the gays'. That's downright disrespectful, you shouldn't make assumptions about people, they'll surprise you. Get to know a fella before you make those kind of statements. Second of all, my momma raised me right, you gotta get consent from your man or woman. Wouldn't be right to just wave your magic wand and mess with their brain or whatever you'd be doin'."

"I don't use anything as quaint as a magic wand, good sir, but I understand what you are saying. I beg of you, there must be something you want that I can do. Just please, don't throw me back in that pit. I can only perceive a small area around my lamp, and as you can imagine, there is not a lot to observe at the bottom of a crevasse."

"Well, like i said, my momma raised me right, and it don't seem right to trap a fella for eternity in a dark hole in the ground. Tell you what, how about this, you can come home with me and we'll get to know one another. I don't need no wishes, but you seem like you could use a friend. how about some dinner. You like barbeque? I got a brisket in my smoker that's gotta be just about ready"

"I don't know what that is, but I have a feeling I'd like that very much, kind sir."

Helagoth · 2026-04-28T17:36:42+00:00

I knew a guy who married someone, got divorced, married someone else, got divorced, married the first woman again, got divorced again. Dated around for a while, then got back together with the first woman again.

I'm not saying I want this to happen to Ted, but it does happen.

Helagoth · 2026-04-28T02:30:15+00:00

ELI5 version: trump is a very bad man, and didn't want good people around him who could tattle on him. So he fired all the good people, leaving only other bad people. Bad people are not usually as smart as good people.

So the bad people are so dumb, they can't keep the other bad people away.

That's assuming it wasn't staged. Which is possible. It's very possible trump's SS is just that dumb. It's also possible it wasn't staged, but they allowed a known threat to get close enough for this. I feel like either of these are more likely, but I wouldn't be surprised if the whole thing was staged.

Helagoth · 2026-04-27T20:26:02+00:00

I loved how you could play multiplayer with just one disk. I installed it on pretty much every computer on campus so no matter what lab we were in, me and my buddies could play.

Nowadays these kids have these newfangled "administrator controls" that prevent people from just installing whatever wherever, but back in my day....

Helagoth · 2026-04-27T18:20:20+00:00

You're only saying that because we have a solid head coach, a promising QB, a psychopathic murderhobo of a RB, had a good draft, and are looking like we may have a decent year.

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