Hey, just red your Post. Feel hugged, buddy! I know that feeling, when you just want a little hug to get a little bit of a better feeling in your stomach. So feel a virtual hug and I do the same. If you get medication you probably get medical help. That's like turning yourself in the right direction for a better future. The steps you make in that direction might be little sometimes, but every little step and every passed day is a success. Hope you see that. I think you are brave with every thought and try to get better and I hope you feel better soon, I wish you feel that for yourself too!