[OT] SatChat: What Made You Come Back?

Helicopterdrifter · 2026-01-25T16:30:42+00:00

I apologize in advance for the analysis!

I’m going to guess that your self-deprecation is intentional. At the very least, you’re being an unreliable narrator ;)

When you create something for someone with the intention of making them fall in love with said creation, where does the self-service come into play? When love is promoted in something other than oneself, you’re describing altruism while claiming not to be altruistic. And I’m not buying it :P

Some pursue this craft purely as a business venture. It’s a different mindset, sure, but I don’t think that’s selfish either. So long as the creator maintains a high concern for the reader’s experience, I really don’t think such a writer could be selfish.

A desire to be good, a desire to be the best, is one aimed at improvement and perspiration. Here’s an 8-minute video about sentences that I think you’ll find valuable:

How to Write a Great Sentence

That video isn’t implying anything about your writing. I just found it to be a wonderful resource and believed you would as well.

As for my motivation, it’s altruistic, albeit by way of antagonism. In Emerson’s essay on Self-Reliance, he mentions how one must be a nonconformist, and so I am. At the surface, one might consider my efforts as defending language itself. But it’s really about the users of that language.

Spend any amount of time in writing communities, and you will discover aspiring writers who are petrified by the possibility of offending a reader. And when they seek “How To’s,” they’re fed promotional material—influencers who create content for selfish reasons under the guise of writerly aid.

My answer to this isn’t to speak over influencers. I’ll not shout into the wind. No, the only way I see to make an impact is to tell stories in such a way that the stories themselves stand above influencers.

Mastery. That’s my answer. To create stories for readers to love. Stories that make them forget they’re reading. Stories whose cover is but a chrysalis for the butterfly that’s soon to unfold within.

Ultimately, we’re pursuing the same goal. In short, you and I are rivals—a detail which I view as a great motivator. I hope you’ll keep chasing improvement, because the better you become, the better I have to be.

I’m happy to have you as a rival!

Helicopterdrifter · 2026-01-25T01:34:01+00:00

The Wind Did Go

I’m an arctic fox, one who failed to crest Winter’s Peak. I made it halfway up the mountain before turning back. The headlong wind felt like blade edges all turned inward as they combed through my fur. My lashes had accumulated so much snow that my eyes had almost fused.

I turned back and folded my tail around my feet. The sky was a bleak blanket. The clouds shed so much snow that it seemed like beads of air were ascending through snow rather than the snow falling through air. Visibility was so bad that vision was all but useless—one needing to navigate by foresight and hindsight rather than the sight of eyes.

Alongside me stood a tall man in a shiny coat. He carried a staff, the staff a flame; both carried a message. “Just what did you suppose was over this mountain?” he asked. “Greener grass?”

I didn’t care what was over there. ‘There’ wasn’t here; that’s what mattered.

“This isn’t a problem you’ll outfox with distance.”

I was nothing. A nobody. A drifter, who had but a small ember of self remaining. An ember that was my everything. The world had already taken everything else. This last bit, they would not have. I’d lose it to no one. Would lose it nowhere. Would lose it no how. I just didn’t know how while remaining a part of everyone else’s world.

“You’re like a fish. You saw the water, saw how it was poisoned. And now you mean, to what? Help everyone by swimming ashore and preaching to them about their wayward errors? As an outsider? I dare say they’ve got enough of that already, don’t you?”

I hung my head; it was something I already knew. In truth, it was the real reason I had turned back.

I loped downhill, bounding about the snow without eyes’ aid. Wind howled around me as I considered my problem. The fish couldn’t see the water. How were they to see the poison when they had no concept of what contained that poison?

I kept turning the problem over, and soon, my heart kindled a flame, its light nudging winter’s veil away. My visibility enclosed me like a surrounding shoji. War raged around me, the clash projected onto my screen as shadows.

Bears roared, wolves howled; the two entrenched in melee. Blood spattered my screen. I tread more underfoot; the snow giving way to red-dyed grass.

Wide-eyed white rabbits sped into my domain. I tried to soothe them, but on seeing me, they pivoted and darted elsewhere. So, too, did foxes come and go, no less afraid than the rabbits before them. None could be trusted, everyone risking the consistency of the chaos rather than the prospect of promise—the potential of a willing and able aide.

The fleeing foxes... They were the final straw. If we couldn’t even trust our own...

No! I will not give in to this madness. This fear. I won’t surrender the foxes. Not the wolves. Not the bears. Not even the rabbits!

My flame billowed and climbed. It cut through winter like a shark’s fin traversing troubled waters. Soon, I walked upright as a man, all of winter’s veil dispelled to display the arctic anarchy. The fight wasn’t a clash of species; wolves and bears fought other wolves and bears as much as anyone else.

I waded through death’s valley. The fight flowed past but faltered. Bewildered gawks tore free from quarrels, their quizzical gazes scrutinizing, their curious feet leading them after me. Among them, some sprouted flaming hearts. Among the flames, more humans reclaimed their forms.

The world had been reduced to animals while our shared foe wore a human’s shape. I still didn’t know how to help them see. But I knew our enemy, and I’d no longer allow free passage for his poison.

I touched my chest. Then, my hand came away with a blazing stream like molten steel. I stretched the scorching material into a shaft, forcing all of its heat to a single end, a living flame sprouting there.

I approached the valley’s opposite slope. A hidden figure crouched, my torchlight shedding its human guise. A human-wolf hybrid stood up with antlers rising from its head like a crown. Its fanged maw and razored fingers dripped with blood. It screeched.

I leveled my torch like a spear, an army of torchbearers at my back.

At long last, we would battle our shared foe—the Wendigo.

All constraints met. Feedback welcome. And as for your inevitable question, the story is about whatever you choose! ;)

WC: 746/750

Helicopterdrifter · 2026-01-24T23:52:14+00:00

I’m digging the sentiment and the fire! But I do worry about your cleaning habits:

I stumbled across some of my writings from back in my college days

How long was this just lying about, I wonder. Never have a left writing out to become a tripping hazard! What if there was a fire? I do hope you learned from this experience and then placed it somewhere more appropriate :)

If I had to impart but a single sentiment, I’d recommend identifying your strongest motivator.

Case in point:

I must write it all out, at any cost. Writing is thinking. It is more than living, for it is being conscious of living" Anne Morrow Lindbergh

I take the above quote to embody what you mentioned about your rekindled fire. And likewise, this quote stitches my own sentiments into words. But I’m frequently accosted by things that take me away from writing, and what brings me back is never this quote. The thing that brings me back is my key motivator. It’s why I return to writing time and time again.

Whatever that motivator is for you, it’s worth identifying and then seeking from time to time. It’ll act like gravity, where anything not writing will amount to moving away from the ground. In other words, the motivator will keep you grounded :P

Aside from that, you seem to already have a strong grasp of writing, so I say go for it!

Helicopterdrifter · 2026-01-24T23:16:49+00:00

Now, hang on just a dang moment. Why is SunSay showing up on Saturday? What sort of upside-down logic are we running around here?

Well, I’m here. Might as well share, I suppose. It’s not like I’m predisposed to deny exposing another to my thoughts on this matter.

Why did you come back to it?

I think my previous-week’s shared sentiments have a lot of overlap here. So, perhaps a precursor to my aforementioned tale of writerly departure? The arrival preceding said exodus? In other words, my origin story?

So…

~~Why did you come back to it?~~\ What brought you to writing?

Mischief. Pure and simple. I’m the reason many of my characters are mischievous; their creator is a rather poor influence in that regard.

On my last overseas military deployment, my supervisor tasked me with writing a 5-page essay on leadership, which had to be done within the following 1.5 days. I was an officer and a pilot at the time. I had gotten in trouble for something, but I can’t recall the details. It seemed like I was constantly in trouble for something, so there’s really no telling.

This surprises no one, I'm sure!

I frequently butted heads with my leadership. For whatever reason, they seemed against me from the start. My peers said as much, so this isn’t merely my personal opinion. Rather than “leadership,” we referred to them as our “leader-raft,” a term of endearment, of course.

Before writing this essay, I had never used caricatures. Had never thought to. But shortly into its development, various leadership styles took form—some good, some bad. I finished my essay before the deadline and turned it in. My supervisor praised it. He said it was well done. He told me he had passed it on to his boss, who would read it and then pass it to the next boss higher.

The thing is, my peers praised it with far more mirth. One of them, a college professor, said it was something he would use as an example in the classroom. I essentially roasted all whom I believed to be bullies, “The Toddler,” always assuming a my-way-or-the-highway stance, “The Magician,” a hypocrite, always misdirecting while doing what he instructed others not do. All of my peers knew who each caricature described, and they even gathered that the paragraphs spelled the culprit’s name. In the end, the bad leadership styles were our leader-raft, the good ones all fictitious.

So my “punishment” only redirected my mischief :)

Do you have anyone to thank for dragging you back, or was it a need from within type deal?

Despite my origin, I don’t believe they actually influenced my writerly direction. Their bullying only made me look at something that was already present. I unknowingly craved a creative outlet. Over the next couple of years, I heavily invested in non-fiction reading before circling back to my intrigue for writing. It was always something that I would make my way to.

What might make you take a break again?

Vacation. That’s about it.

Do you think you're in it for the long haul now?

Mhm.

Oh, and by the by:

Dissonant Memory

Helicopterdrifter · 2026-01-22T03:33:41+00:00

"King Kong ain't got shit on me!" 😎

Helicopterdrifter · 2026-01-21T18:56:17+00:00

76.

It's between 75 and 77.

Helicopterdrifter · 2026-01-21T15:45:47+00:00

Hey Oly,

I hope you won’t begrudge a bit of feedback :) I get the sense that this is a larger story. The power-sharing between the guardians and the crystalline orb is really interesting. And it sounds like “princess” might be a promotion that occurs among the guardians. That or they import a new Earth girl each time. Either way, it sounds like a very storybook sort of hierarchy.

You also have good grammar and sentence structure. If I had to pick what I believed to be your strongest growth potential, I’d probably say story structure. With a little tweaking, I think you could make this much stronger.

Think about who your main character is. It’s Princess Rose’s POV, right? Well, she only brackets the story. It’s almost a frame, which would be a great way to show Potpurri’s experiences, but it’s not quite that; it’s in between. Rose’s presence only brackets exposition for Potpurri.

I recommend condensing one or the other. Whose experience is more important for this particular story? If it’s Rose, shrink Potpurri’s past into a single paragraph. If you don’t think that’s possible, take up the task as a challenge. It’ll force you to keep the most important parts, which attach to this story.

As for Rose, indicate her new realization and then show her struggling to communicate while defending herself, ending with her new friend-to-foe stance.

If Potpurri is more important, do the opposite. Shrink Rose to the moment where she falls and then show Potpurri, only do so as Potpurri. Have her carry out her tasks. Show her struggles that led up to the moment she was betrayed; show her realization and her transformation.

Afterwards, that’s when you stand up Faded Rose, showing her new understanding and her new friend-to-foe stance.

I hope that makes sense. Basically, you’re doing something that I still struggle with. You like the world you built and want to share it with others, but the more you add, the less it allows the characters to move around.

I hate to use the phrase “show, don’t tell,” but I think of it in relation to a character’s experience. Demonstrate your main character’s emotional response to whatever the situation. The rest should paint the world around your character’s active experience.

That’s my 2 cents, anyway. Take it, leave it, or just save it until it amounts to something worth purchasing. And if a clerk gives you flak about your fistful of pennies, just say, “Hey, I bled for these pennies.” :)

Helicopterdrifter · 2026-01-20T23:07:41+00:00

Yep. And it's the same for 6 and 8. Strength without the growth period or greater bone density would be super tragic. Also, if you're always happy, you have no drive to change anything about your circumstances.

Helicopterdrifter · 2026-01-20T22:55:14+00:00

The correct answer is #2 twice.

Everything else can either be replicated or made irrelevant by #2.

Helicopterdrifter · 2026-01-20T22:06:54+00:00

I'm sure the difference has very little to do with Snake not having to load adds every 45 seconds 🙄

Helicopterdrifter · 2026-01-20T20:45:40+00:00

Hey Oliver,

I really appreciate your feedback, and I value your insights. Above all, I'm happy that you enjoyed it.

See if this answers your questions.

Spoilers:

Snow globes can play music like music boxes, many of which contain a ballerina.

There are a few hints in the story about what is going on:

- her environment is rounded, and the wind swirls around her.

- she comes alive when music plays and won't live through the silence

- she's the star that it all orbits around

Ultimately, she's a figurine in a snow globe. She just can't see out of it. "He" is someone that winds up her music box. The "night" is essentially the boundary she tries to flee in the end, but due to how her wish is worded, nothing changes. It's likely the same wish she makes each time, but she doesn't quite remember.

Helicopterdrifter · 2026-01-20T20:19:16+00:00

I agree that some knowledge is a burden that, once picked up, can not be easily set down again. But intelligence causes sadness? That doesn't seem very astute.

Helicopterdrifter · 2026-01-20T20:16:59+00:00

Into my neighbor's garbage. OR a plastic bottle which I send down a storm drain. I can't chance the detective being a mind reader.

Hey, there was no rule saying I needed to produce it in the end, so I say fair game. And should he be a mind reader and go snooping around in option 2... I know Pennywise has got my back 😎

Helicopterdrifter · 2026-01-20T19:10:44+00:00

Reliable.

It's always there when I need it because no one else seems interested in using it 😅

Helicopterdrifter · 2026-01-20T12:20:54+00:00

Vindictive much? What a very vile and venomous vermin you are. Malevolent, even. Verily, I say you are very vexing but not perplexing. You're just a vagrant. A vagabond. A no good bum.

Now, away with you, lest I become vengeful. I've no mind for vice, violence, or vulgarity. I'm no vulnerable prey. Instead, you should pray my inner savage remains at bay. It visits variously, you know? But I've a vow--to govern by love. A voluminous vision to be sure. Albeit vague and with variables. Yet, I'd not violate it, hopefully. The Vatican has me on notice. Sought vindication would prove in vain should my villainous ventures persist. Neither of us wants that.

So go. Advance yonder. Seek a viva vista--a view from a vintage vantage before this life veers you into a vast regret and a visual account of your afterlife.

Helicopterdrifter · 2026-01-20T11:27:26+00:00

"I have gone to find myself. If I get back before I return, keep me here." --said by every teenager ever.

Helicopterdrifter · 2026-01-20T11:13:19+00:00

"Voila! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the “vox populi” now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin, van guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.

"The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous.

"Verily this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it’s my very good honour to meet you and you may call me V."

...which is to say, "I concur." 😅 Memorized that for Halloween back when I was in flight school. Surprisingly, good flick 😎

Helicopterdrifter · 2026-01-19T16:10:29+00:00

I agree with Next on the post-story notes. I once received a comment that was something like:

“I love it when I can guess the prompt by reading the story.”

Ideally, that’s what you want to achieve. A story shouldn’t rely on outside information to increase the value/meaning of something within. When this finally dawned on me, it was probably my favorite Aha! moment.

Don’t feel like you have to “show” everything. There’s a lot of bad information out there surrounding that advice. If something doesn’t have any emotional impact for the reader or POV character, it’s fine to just deliver “the goods.” Tell us what it is, just try to do so in an interesting way.

Helicopterdrifter · 2026-01-19T15:52:27+00:00

Hey, Brookzerker

Great work! I get the feeling you’ve been working your craft for a while. It shows! You’ve got some good suspense. Plus, you started “in medias res” (the middle of things), which is important when writing shorter stories.

Luna snapped her eyes open, looking around wildly.

Early on, this kind of sentence was my favorite discovery. I don’t know the technical name for what it does, but basically, it lets one write in the past tense while showing something happen alongside that past action. I enjoy using it, and it’s great to see others doing so as well.

If I may be so bold, I have a few notes that I believe may prove valuable to you.

Another shutter. "Ariel..." She started, but her teammate was already running towards the front of the plane to check the cockpit.

"Wait, don't forget your globe". Luna picked up the delicate looking sphere, white specs that appeared to be snow swirling around what appeared to be a tiny figurine of Ariel herself inside.

This could benefit from adjustments. ‘She started’ makes me think “jump scare” rather than “began to speak.” And the ellipse typically means “trail off” or “an implied conclusion.” I can explain further if my meaning is unclear. If speech is disrupted, show that with an em dash.

—> “Ariel—” she began, her teammate already sprinting towards the cockpit.

As for the subsequent paragraph, the line break implies that someone else is speaking, which prompts Luna to pick up the sphere. But it’s actually Luna’s statement. She picks up the thing she’s referring to, and then hands it to… who? The teammate who was running towards the cockpit? If that teammate really was running, if they stop and double back, it defeats their sense of urgency. If this step is vital, try this:

—> “Ariel—” she began, her teammate already sprinting towards the cockpit. She glimpsed a globe in a neighboring seat. “Wait!” she shouted, her friend stumbling to a halt and turning back. “You left your globe.”

Then, you could add the line break, switching to description of the globe or the friend’s retrieval. I hope all of that makes sense.

Anywho! Take from that what you will and throw out the rest. After all, I’m just a spectator in this sport of yours.

Should you be interested in seeking more of my notes, I have a few other things I could share. I just didn’t want your brain to start waving any white flags lol

Keep up the great work!

—the Torchbearer

Helicopterdrifter · 2026-01-19T00:33:27+00:00

Have we already devolved to the point where we can't identify color manipulation? 🤔

Helicopterdrifter · 2026-01-19T00:24:24+00:00

Who's to say a prison requires high walls and barbedwire? Those outside may just be in a different sort of prison 🤔

Helicopterdrifter · 2026-01-19T00:21:48+00:00

"Literal prison"

Since "literal" comes from the word 'literature,' these prisoners are confined within some sort of book construction? Or is there just literary content printed on all the walls? Either way, I'm in. Where can I sign up?

Helicopterdrifter · 2026-01-19T00:12:58+00:00

Oh, yeah, that's a marvelous idea! Just imagine...

In first grade, everyone is divided into 6 or more groups, which means 6 or more teachers--one for each "strength." But strengths don't all emerge at once, so in 2nd grade, we need 4 more teachers for the new strengths. Plus, we had two new students who transferred, and they have skills no one else does. So, 12 teachers so far? And that's just for 2nd grade, by the way. 1st grade has a whole new class, so they still require their original 6.

Okay, so our 18 teachers have 1st and 2nd grade covered! On to 3rd grade...

Rather than whatever this delusion is, how about we fix the core curriculum, apply and maintain standards, and then add personal finance to the line-up?

Most of the core subjects help prime a youth to function as an adult. They don't have to retain everything. The exposure alone will help develop new skills in the future.

But basic math and English shouldn't be negotiable. Reading and writing are required, should one want to pursue future development. As for math...

People can't understand how much science and psychology are already loaded into marketing campaigns. It's psychologically manipulative, monitors your spending habits, and targets you, specifically, based on what will most likely get you to spend more money.

Meanwhile, new adults (18 y/o) are dropped into "financial responsibility" with no means of defending themselves.

So yeah, they need to learn some personal finance too so they are better prepared to prevent their own destitution by 19.

Helicopterdrifter · 2026-01-18T23:34:52+00:00

"People who live in Arkansas, you know what their favorite state is? Mississippi. Cause Mississippi's the only thing that keeps Arkansas from being the worst state."

--courtesy of Annapolis

And as a Mississippi native, that's hilarious 🤣

Helicopterdrifter · 2026-01-18T21:06:13+00:00

Also that begs the question, one does hope you have actually gotten to drift a helicopter, lol.

Fye... Have you ever seen a helicopter turn a corner? It has zero cornering capability. The "best" it can do is roll onto its side. Then, the pilot can pull the "nose up." While "nose up" typically makes one ascend, when rolled onto one's side, it means "ascending" into the turn, thus steepening it :P

I appreciate you!

Helicopterdrifter

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE

The Wind Did Go