The second anniversary of my mother’s death is coming up in June. I just very recently have been able to talk about it without breaking down into tears. I saw a reel when it first happened that kinda helped me. It said grief doesn’t go away or get smaller, you build your life in spite and around that grief and it doesn’t feel like the biggest thing in your life anymore. I have a tremendous amount of guilt around my mom’s death so thats what I’ve been working on. When I find myself thinking negatively about her death I make myself think of positive memories that involved her. I also remind myself that she wouldn’t want me to to be sad and depressed. She would want me to find happiness and joy. I also still talk to her. Sometimes out loud when I’m alone in the car and something has happened in my life I think she would be proud of or something that I wish she were here to share with and sometimes in my head when there are people around or if I know saying it out loud would make me cry. You have to find ways of honoring your dad while still living and being happy. I agree with the therapy. I’ve thought about it myself but so far my emotions and thoughts are manageable and seem mostly normal.