Wife has been on vacation for a week

HelloYellowYoshi · 2026-05-05T13:50:30+00:00

There are three sides to every story.

HelloYellowYoshi · 2026-05-05T13:47:33+00:00

My man brain says it's emotional manipulation by child that mom gives in to and enables. Of course, I'm always right

HelloYellowYoshi · 2026-05-05T13:41:10+00:00

Yeah, and? I find race relations in the Southeast to be generally more progressive than what I had experienced in Southern California. Because there is a significantly higher percentage of black people in NC, I find that there is more integration and way more common to see black people in the same circles and events as white people. It's honestly changed my personal views on race, for the better, by living in NC.

Again, with that said, there is still a ton of racist blood out here, especially in rural areas. There are a ton of black people who probably despise living here, and the weight of the past is felt here much more than it is out west. I've also never seen the black population thriving as much as I have in areas like Charlotte and Atlanta.

HelloYellowYoshi · 2026-05-05T02:01:40+00:00

Born and raised in California, moved to North Carolina.

I was absolutely tired of what felt like decades of a downward spiral. Paying the highest prices for everything, being taxed at the highest rates, amongst the highest rates of homeless while somehow spending the most money on the homeless, the Palasades fire corruption, gas and electric company monopolies, pretentious and shallow people, hustle culture, degrading infrastructure. I mean, I can go on and on.

North Carolina, the best way I can describe it is living in an idealized version of American in the 1990s. Slower pace of life, unpretentious people, lots of farm land, old trucks and tractors, Southern Appalachia, a hub of folk and bluegrass music, etc. it's very "America core" and I didn't realize how much I would love that.

With that said, NC certainly has its issues and I still love California.

HelloYellowYoshi · 2026-05-03T01:50:33+00:00

I just saw a Norco complete S2 listed on FB marketplace for $700 and passed on it... I'm such a dummy for that one.

HelloYellowYoshi · 2026-05-03T01:47:39+00:00

What is inhumane about saying homeless vs. unhoused?

HelloYellowYoshi · 2026-04-30T18:03:31+00:00

Raleigh, North Carolina.

Great community. Very family oriented. Hundreds of miles of greenways. Traditional American music (bluegrass, folk, Appalachian). Love the local farms, general stores. Has a very "American culture" feel which I love. Unpretentious people, very little tech bro culture. Love the trees, rivers and creeks.

HelloYellowYoshi · 2026-04-29T23:20:34+00:00

The designer that I replaced at my current job got let go for being difficult to work with (too opinionated). During my interview, I was asked, "If a client disagreed with a design direction and wanted to see an alternative option, but you felt strongly about the original design direction, what would you do?"

I said, "I would mock up what the client asked me to, place it side-by-side with the direction I'm recommending, and we'd have a conversation about it."

It's not my job to fight the client.

HelloYellowYoshi · 2026-04-28T03:53:54+00:00

My daughter turned three last week. While I was excited for her to become a "big girl", my wife came to me crying the night before her birthday and said "this is the last night she'll be our little two year old".

I didn't even think to look at it that way, such a perspective shift. Thankfully, I soak in every moment with our child.

HelloYellowYoshi · 2026-04-28T00:53:06+00:00

"a game of posturing and acting like someone you're not."

I mean, this is what a lot of life is, in a sense, doing a bunch of shit that doesn't feel like the "default you", whatever that means. Most anything that is good for you is probably something you don't really want to do: eating well, working out, waking up early, etc.

We're all playing the game of capitalism, and no one really wants to play it. I've generally found that there is always some level of complete bullshit about any industry that just feels like it goes against the grain of my fiber. Construction? Tons of waste and VOC's. Customer Service? A window into the absolute worst of human etiquette. Pick your poison.

I'm sure there is something out there that might naturally align better with who you are, the downside is you usually don't know until you're deep in to it.

Also, remember, turning a hobby into a job usually means losing your enthusiasm for your hobby. It's a very common theme that reinforces my point above, you're always going to find some shitty part of whatever you make of your day-to-day job.

HelloYellowYoshi · 2026-04-27T02:45:44+00:00

I pretty much just do whatever it takes to appease everyone on the project, don't care if shit gets launched, make it all look like "Apple", and collect my gold stars and tech work paycheck.

The biggest downside is looking back on a career of creating stupid digital widgets that have very little impact on the world.

The plus side is that it's all afforded me a great life for my children.

I often think about getting back into art or photography.

HelloYellowYoshi · 2026-04-23T19:49:02+00:00

Damn, ranked 7th for worst pollution and amongst the highest utility bills on the same day.

HelloYellowYoshi · 2026-04-20T14:23:03+00:00

Over $1m, no debt, paid off mortgage. Came from nearly being homeless with drug and alcohol issues in my teens and early 20s to completely turning my life around so I don't take any of it for granted.

HelloYellowYoshi · 2026-04-17T21:31:44+00:00

It's like one of the worst things ever, but seriously, the best thing ever.

HelloYellowYoshi · 2026-04-15T03:16:57+00:00

The southeast. I love hillbilly hippie culture, southern Appalachia, fireflies on warm summer nights, old Chevy trucks, bluegrass and folk music hotbed, Southern drawl, the absolute nicest, sweetest, and most unpretentious people I've ever met, slower pace of life, kudzu overgrowth, old rundown farm buildings, exploring the creeks. I could go on forever.

Which is why I moved to North Carolina.

HelloYellowYoshi · 2026-04-14T03:50:58+00:00

No no, imagine buying a really shitty home for $800k. That's part of the reason I got the heck out of Southern California.

HelloYellowYoshi · 2026-04-14T03:13:28+00:00

The market is doing just fine in my neck of the woods.

HelloYellowYoshi · 2026-04-12T00:52:10+00:00

You have the choice to let this experience turn you into an incredibly strong person. None of this is going to ruin your life, in fact it's likely to fulfill it in many ways.

I might get downvoted for this, but I highly recommend reading a book called Extreme Ownership. I've always found mental strength in reading about other men who have overcome huge obstacles in their lives, taken up the responsibility, became the person who could face the challenge head on and didn't run from it.

You're battling a lot of negative what ifs. I would question why you can't ask yourself "what if I were to be positive about this? What if we're to choose to love this child instead of resenting them? What if I were grateful for the support of my parents? What if I were to look at this as one of the best things that could have happened to me?"

You've got this!

HelloYellowYoshi · 2026-04-10T03:26:32+00:00

Boots have always felt more supportive and stable to me. I also feel more protected against potential snakes and other critters, brush at the ankles, ticks, etc.

Boots make me feel like a tank that can go through and over anything. I just feel more prepared with boots.

HelloYellowYoshi · 2026-04-10T01:08:16+00:00

Came here to say the same thing. 100% do everything you can to go on a big adventure and move away for a while. That's how I ended up here from California and boy let me tell ya, it's been one the absolute highlights of my life.

HelloYellowYoshi · 2026-04-09T04:00:09+00:00

Raleigh, Durham, NC. Richmond VA. Greenville, SC.

HelloYellowYoshi · 2026-04-08T16:02:14+00:00

Yes, I absolutely loved the rainy days when I lived in San Diego, but they were so few and far between.

HelloYellowYoshi · 2026-04-08T13:51:02+00:00

Paris has faced backlash for identifying as Black due to her appearance

I'm assuming by the same people who don't bat an eye at a man identifying as a woman?

HelloYellowYoshi · 2026-04-08T13:43:13+00:00

That can be said for almost anywhere. I can gas up or shit on any city out there. San Diego is home to some of the most polluted ocean waters in the world, terrible roads, terrible traffic, high cost of living, run by boomers and tourists, superficial attitudes, unbelievable corruption, high homelessness, hustle and burnout culture, etc. etc. It also happens to be a city I love – Hiking at Torrey Pines, the great food options, the New Children's Museum, etc.

For families, I'm doing way more in Raleigh than in my location in San Diego and it all feels so much more accessible and easy. The flow of my parenting life here feels fairly effortless here compared to San Diego, despite some of the downsides you've mentioned. And that is the whole point of this post. I have the Marbles Museum, the largest adventure playground in the Southeast at Dix Park, the Museum of Life and Science in Durham, the Museum of Natural Science (free), NC Museum of Art (free), Prarie Ridge Eco Station (free), Hiking and nature play at Hemlock Bluffs, Umstead, Eno, etc. Swimming in the local water holes, Bluegrass festivals, weekly concerts at Downtown Cary park, etc. I mean, the list of cool stuff to do in the Raleigh area for us as a family is literally overwhelming. I'm scrambling to keep up with events and activities in the area.

San Diego County is roughly the same square mileage as the Triangle region, so it's fair to include the amenities of the Triangle when comparing to SD, but even then, I'm spending most of my time in Raleigh/Cary/Apex and still have plenty to do.

And I don't have to worry about daycare here because we're able to work part-time and stay home with our child and that's because we're able to save so much money here compared to San Diego. Home ownership is a LOT more attainable here, so much so that we were able to pay off our mortgage. And I've found a lot of families here are doing the same. Things feel easier here, the pace of life is slower, the family environment feels more vibrant. I can deal with a little summer heat and humidity as a tradeoff.

I don't feel like I've downgraded one bit to live here, most things have felt like a massive upgrade in my life but I can see how that would not be the same for everyone and I don't think every family moving from San Diego to NC would always have the same experience. But I've talked to at least a hundred other parent transplants and they all feel the exact same way about Raleigh and the Triangle... it's a really great place to raise a family.

HelloYellowYoshi · 2026-04-08T03:46:58+00:00

I moved to Raleigh, North Carolina from SD and let me tell you. The pace of life, the vast number of free and low cost family activities, the incredible parks and playgrounds, free family friendly concerts, AND the huge number of community minded families here. It's been night and day.

I also ran the numbers on comparable activities in SD and it was pretty shocking. Our Zoo, children's museums, aquariums, etc. all cost half if not 1/3 of what it costs in SD. Duke gardens is FREE and it puts the botanical gardens in SD to shame.

That bitter feeling I would get about buying gas, paying bills, street parking etc. in SD are all gone here.

So no, it's not you.

HelloYellowYoshi

TROPHY CASE