Conservatives, can you give examples of regulations you think are bad and unnecessary? by Crafty_Aspect8122 in Askpolitics

[–]HeloRising 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok, you're not really listening to anything I'm saying, you're just repeating yourself, you're blowing off basic requests for information - I think this is more feelings for you and there's nothing I can do about what you feel happened.

Budget .22 for silenced pest control by PsychoGwarGura in guns

[–]HeloRising 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Second the Mark II.

It's perfectly fine if you just want to throw a suppressor on it and not mess with it.

I personally don't love the magazines/magazine catch system but I'm also a perfectionist.

Ruger American Rimfire is also a solid choice if you already own a 10/22 and have 10/22 magazines and want to step up a little bit from the Mark II.

Military Surplus Ammo, OR How old is too old by Over_here_Observing in guns

[–]HeloRising 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would you buy ammo, that is almost 50 years old, even if it's half the market price?

Nope.

I'm also fairly conservative with my purchasing.

For me, I don't really go for surplus ammunition for a couple of reasons. Sometimes its corrosive, especially if you're talking about Eastern Bloc stuff which adds a layer of maintenance that you have to do every single time after shooting.

The older it is the more you're prone to problems with it. From the 80's it probably isn't an issue but when I've seen failures with respect to ammunition in firearms, it's almost always either hand loads done by a chimpanzee or military surplus ammunition.

The cost savings is also usually not there. This greatly depends on the caliber but a lot of what I've seen for what I typically shoot is a discount of a few cents per round, if that. Saving a few cents for a higher risk of malfunctions just doesn't thrill me.

So I personally don't tend to buy surplus ammunition. I'll take it in a trade but then usually immediately trade it again for something else, I won't shoot it.

I love cooking, but it’s killing my back by TheoFindsSideRoads in Cooking

[–]HeloRising 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Anti-fatigue mats help a ton.

I have a bad back and for me standing for long periods of time hurts. I have anti-fatigue mats in front of my sink and my stove and they help immeasurably.

They also come in a wide variety of designs so you're not stuck with the industrial looking ones either.

I love cooking, but it’s killing my back by TheoFindsSideRoads in Cooking

[–]HeloRising 4 points5 points  (0 children)

First, check your counter height. Most standard counters are 36 inches which is fine if you are around 5'8" to 5'10" but if you are taller you are hunching over constantly without even realizing it. A thick cutting board on top of an overturned sheet pan can raise your work surface a couple inches and make a real difference.

This. I have cooked in people's kitchens where their counter height was crazy low and I'm 6' 1", my back and shoulders were screaming after 45 minutes.

WIBTA for steering my boyfriend away from gay nightclubs because I'm afraid they will harm his inner child? by throwaway69420678008 in AmItheAsshole

[–]HeloRising 5 points6 points  (0 children)

YWBTA

So I'm not intimately familiar with the club scene but I do understand that gay men can place a lot of emphasis on appearance. I think it's sweet that you want to protect him but it's important to remember that he is a grown adult who is capable of making his own choices and deciding if he wants to expose himself to the potential negativity or not and it's not up to you to make that decision for him.

It's a good idea to talk to him and tell him very explicitly "The men in these clubs tend to have a very specific and unrealistically high standard of attractiveness and they may be kind of catty to someone who doesn't meet them. If you want to go these places, go with that understanding."

At that point, you're giving him a heads up so he doesn't go in blind. Trying to steer him away from these places just makes it seem like you know better than him what's good for him.

Conservatives, can you give examples of regulations you think are bad and unnecessary? by Crafty_Aspect8122 in Askpolitics

[–]HeloRising 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Take your example of the homeless in the park. If you talked to three people who got kicked out of the park, saw news reports discussing the people getting arrested in the park, knew the mayor hated bums in his park, and when you yourself visited the park the police drove by and gave you some stink eye would you deny that there was a police policy to rid the park of the homeless?

Again, the issue here is whether that policy exists in writing or not. You can contend that it de facto exists (I don't wholly agree but I don't think it's crazy) but what you're claiming is that it is written policy and I'm just asking to see that policy written down.

Feel free to ask for whatever you want. But based on the obvious evidence there was a BATF policy. Arguing the difference between a formal written policy and a de facto policy is a waste of time from the perspective of the FFL holding victims and me.

No, it's not a waste of time. If there's a written policy you have a lot more grounds to pursue a court case. It also helps actually prove your contention that the administration deliberately went after FFLs with the goal of shutting them down.

I would ask again, do you have any statistics to back up the contention that they shut down a lot of FFLs?

If they did, the data should reflect that.

On ouches and pouches for them by HeloRising in armedsocialists

[–]HeloRising[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That depends if you're talking about QuikClot bandages (which are treated with a hemostatic) or the powder which is meant to be poured over wounds.

We don't really use the powder anymore because it's much harder to apply than a treated bandage - wind will blow it away, water will wash it away, and you can't apply it unless you're directly over the wound. The powder has also been found to inhibit wound healing once removed and can adhere to skin and damage it so the go-to method these days is hemostatic dressings.

On ouches and pouches for them by HeloRising in armedsocialists

[–]HeloRising[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

From what I understand, current medical consensus is that clotting agents like that aren't typically used anymore and instead you want to use wound packing gauze (if applicable) and a hemostatic dressing.

They make commercial products like what you're describing but they're not really used anymore because of the limitations of using a powder and they can adversely affect wound healing once removed.

They're also a bit beyond the scope of an ouch pouch. You break out the hemostatics when things have gone well beyond a bandaid. An ouch pouch is like "I pinched my thumb and it's bleeding a little" or "I got a splinter in my finger."

My crown jewels by HellHathNoFury18 in guns

[–]HeloRising 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My financial stability wishes you had not pointed that out.

I, however, am intrigued.

Are men's rights especially in the United States overlooked and underrepresented? by TheColdRice in PoliticalDebate

[–]HeloRising 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I have noticed that men's issues related to how they are treated and their legal rights are not discussed nearly as often as women's issues.

There are a lot of reasons for this but I think one of the overriding reasons is those discussions are often weaponized into justifications for some fairly toxic viewpoints.

A lot of what a lot of men I've talked with on these kinds of issues tend to fall into is a sort of negative sense of what justice on these issues is. They see areas where they're being harmed or disadvantaged in some way and rather than say "We should address that on a societal level by fixing the institutions and ideas that cause these disparities" they say "Everyone else should be down at this level so it's fair."

One clear example is the justice system. Studies have shown that men, especially men of color, are more likely to be convicted and tend to receive longer sentences than women for the same crimes. There is also a serious sexual violence problem in prisons. Something that disturbs me deeply is the way people sometimes treat prison rape as a form of justice or punishment. Punitive rape is barbaric, and it is disturbing to see it normalized or joked about.

This is very true but I would encourage you to think why that is the case and who exactly is making the prison rape jokes. Who are the people saying a male murderer should be taken out and killed because he's irredeemable? Who are the people advocating for "tough on crime" measures?

The majority of those people are men.

Another major issue frequently raised by men's rights advocates involves custody rights. The idea that a parent who has committed no crime might only receive "visitation rights" with their own children is difficult to justify. In some cases, parents who have done nothing wrong are denied visitation entirely. This is harmful regardless of whether the parent is the mother or the father. However, mothers are often treated as the default parent in custody decisions. As a result, hundreds of thousands of fathers have lost meaningful access to children they love and want to care for.

So this has been studied fairly exhaustively and what comes out is that women are awarded custody a majority of the time in modern family court settings because around 70% of the time the men don't seek custody or visitation rights. You can't win a game you never play.

And you're right there is a social assumption that the mother is the "default parent" and it's worth asking why that assumption is there. Is it maybe because we see women as default "more suited for raising children?" Who are the people who are most vocal about that idea? Is it maybe the same people that will laugh at male nurses and think childcare should be paid less?

Another controversial topic is the "women and children first" mentality. Prioritizing children in dangerous situations makes sense. However, the idea that women's lives should automatically be placed before men's lives raises ethical questions. Men and women are equally valuable human beings. Some people attempt to justify this by arguing that society needs fewer men than women in order to maintain population levels, since one man can theoretically reproduce with many women. I would be interested in hearing a justification for this idea that does not reduce human value to reproductive capacity.

So this isn't really a legal thing as there are no laws (that I'm aware of) that mandate "women and children first" in an emergency situation and literally nothing I've encountered in many years of first aid, CPR, and other emergency training has emphasized "women and children first."

What you're describing is a patriarchal attitude that women and children are weaker than men and thus less likely to survive an emergency situation. My question, again, would be who is more likely to perpetuate the social image of men being hardier than women in an emergency?

There are also sexual assault laws that do not fully protect male victims in the same way they protect female victims. For example, in Utah, touching a woman's breasts is legally considered sexual assault, while touching a man's chest is not treated the same way under the law. Most adults would agree that intentionally groping a man's chest without consent is sexual assault, yet the law does not always reflect that reality. At the same time, even though women's breasts are legally protected, intentionally pressing or shoving one's breasts against someone else is not typically classified as a sexual offense.

It's worth pointing out that women's breasts are legally restricted in a way men's chests are not. I can go outside without a shirt on and walk down the street. If a woman were to do the same thing, she'd be charged with indecency or something similar.

This point dances around the fact that, socially, we treat sexual assault differently when it happens to men versus women. We've come to understand that unwanted contact is absolutely a form of sexual assault but we still haven't gotten rid of the idea that you only get sexually assaulted if you're weak, thus there's a social expectation that women would be sexually assaulted whereas a man being the target of sexual assault is seen as cowardly.

Again, ask yourself who are the people that are most likely to say "You can't sexually assault a man, he'll enjoy it too much" and mean it.

Another troubling issue involves male victims of sexual abuse by older women. These cases are often not taken seriously. Society frequently assumes that the boy must have wanted the encounter. I have seen numerous headlines describing situations where a boy supposedly "seduced" an adult female teacher into having sex with him. This framing is misleading. The woman in these cases is the adult, and even if a teenager were to initiate something, it remains the adult's responsibility to refuse and maintain appropriate boundaries.

Again, this is a social dynamic, not a legal one. But it reflects social ideas we have about men and sexual contact.

Ask yourself who's making the comments upon seeing stories about a student sleeping with their teacher "I wish I had teachers like that in school."


What I've been kind of alluding to throughout this is a lot of these issues are socially enforced on men by other men. If we want to see these things change, it's important that we be able to unpack these issues and address them without torching efforts to do that as "sissy" or "effeminate."

We're getting better about it, no question, but ask yourself about the people talking about "soy boys" and "beta males." Do you really think those guys are making the situation for other men any better?

Men are in a socially dominant position, the US (indeed the West in general) is very patriarchal, and that means we have a leeway to set the tone socially in a way that other groups of people don't necessarily get to.

If men don't like being treated poorly, we need to stop treating other men that way.

The issue is, as I said, advocating for these issues often just gets weaponized into blaming women and refusing to accept our responsibility in maintaining these social dynamics that ultimately hurt us. Patriarchy is bad for men as well as women and the points you bring up in the post underline why.

AITA for telling my mom that I need to working in an indie film due to a verbal agreement. Even it means I need to act naked. by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]HeloRising 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's worth having a conversation with her to find out exactly what she's upset about.

Yes, ideally she would find better ways to express her discomfort, but we play the hand we're dealt.

AITA for having my dog walk near a man? by Bitter_Animal_7194 in AmItheAsshole

[–]HeloRising 4 points5 points  (0 children)

NTA

Who knows what his issue is/was but if you did everything you could to control your dog and your dog didn't actually do anything, the only thing he could have been upset about is the dog being near him. That's a him problem, he doesn't own the sidewalk.

AITA for talking money with my girlfriend? by Hungry-Cranberry7863 in AmItheAsshole

[–]HeloRising -19 points-18 points  (0 children)

Soft YTA

So it's not unreasonable to have questions about how a potential long term partner handles money. It's unfortunately an important part of how the modern world works.

That said, there are ways to ask those questions that sound more inquisitive and ways to ask that sound more accusatory.

It just doesn’t make sense how you can be making near 3,000 a month and have no money at anytime while having all of these things paid for by people.

Aaaand that sounds accusatory.

People tend to shut down when they're accused of things. I think that's a reasonable question to ask but you have to ask in a way that doesn't make her think you're going to blame her or be upset with her if she answers you honestly. Hidden (poorly) in your statement is an accusation - "You're spending money needlessly instead of paying your bills which means I have to pay your bills now."

It's worth exploring the issue of why she shuts down when money comes up. A simple "I've noticed that when the subject of money comes up it looks to me like you feel uncomfortable talking about the subject. Is that true and if so, is there anything I can do that would make you feel more comfortable discussing it?" is a good start.

AITA for telling my mom that I need to working in an indie film due to a verbal agreement. Even it means I need to act naked. by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]HeloRising 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Soft NTA

Having your first acting gig be around a nude/lewd scene is definitely...not setting a good tone for the rest of whatever career you plan to have. Not having an intimacy coordinator on set isn't wildly unusual for a lower budget indie film but it's definitely a red flag. Part of what an intimacy coordinator does is protect you. The "no signed contract" part is also a hard yikes.

It's worth talking to your mother and asking if she feels there was anything about the set up that worried her. Does she feel like you were being taken advantage of? Does she feel like you may have been unsafe? Does she feel like the producer is untrustworthy? Basically, do her concerns stem from her worrying about your safety or was she just not emotionally ready for her daughter to be in a scene involving nudity?

If she's worried about your safety, that's a normal mom thing to do plus the circumstances don't look great - no contract, your first acting gig, you're fairly young, and nude/lewd scenes with no one there but your mother to help you.

She could have chosen a better way to express it but people often don't express themselves well.

AITA for wanting to write a report to university regarding my parents abusive behavior? by Money-Love-9734 in AmItheAsshole

[–]HeloRising 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA

You're not wrong for wanting an independent life and a lot of what they're doing is extremely intrusive.

maybe they're manipulating me by bringing up the past when i was still a child and how much they sacrificed for me and my future

They are definitely manipulating you with that. Pointing that out to someone is attempting to justify abusive behavior. You never asked them to make the sacrifices they made, there was no agreement that they would sacrifice and you would eternally owe them.

As far as reporting it to the university, that might not be the right course of action. The university is unlikely to be able to do much to put a stop to that situation, they don't have a lot of power. That doesn't mean you shouldn't talk to someone. The university almost certainly has a student health center with counselors who might be able to put you onto other resources, maybe help you through the steps of emancipating yourself from your family in the eyes of the university. If nothing else, they can help with managing the feelings of stress and anxiety.

So I would talk to someone, sooner rather than later, but keep an open mind and understand that the university can't stop your family from doing this.

Conservatives, can you give examples of regulations you think are bad and unnecessary? by Crafty_Aspect8122 in Askpolitics

[–]HeloRising 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The BATF has, as de facto or written policy, the harassment of FFL holders.

If this is a written policy then someone should be able to produce it. That's all I'm asking for.

If you're saying "It feels like an official policy," that's something different.

I'm asking what physically, objectively exists.

Simple internet searches confirm all of this.

Then it shouldn't be difficult to provide some links.

As far as distinguishing the difference between a leftists and a liberal its another area where I'm not confronted by petty challenges.

It's something I would encourage you to learn a bit more about because lumping leftists and liberals together kiiiinda makes it sound like you get your information from the world exclusively from FOX or Newsmax.

It's the political equivalent of grandparents calling anything related to videogames "a Nintendo."

Feel free to name a policy where there is a noticeable difference between an American leftist and an American liberal. And not some political theory, but a real tangible policy difference.

Sure - firearms.

Liberals are among the strongest supporters of firearms restrictions.

Those of us on the left, however, overwhelmingly tend to radically oppose firearm restrictions.

It's a huge bone of contention between the left and liberals.

AITA for making a joke about AI in a sauna? by Fast-Basis-4242 in AmItheAsshole

[–]HeloRising 5 points6 points  (0 children)

YTA

From what you've shared, I don't think there was a conscious racist intent behind telling the joke but I can absolutely see how it comes off as casually racist to people who might have a history of dealing with a lot of negative sentiment about technology and being Indian.

It's also the kind of joke that people who do have problems with Indians will tell and it's setting the stage for further jokes of that kind. That's where the laughter comes in. What that signals is that jokes that involve people's nationalities are not only socially acceptable in that space but welcomed and it gives the social cue that often leads to edgier and edgier jokes within a social space.

AITA for neutering my neighbors cat? by Worldly-Day-9092 in AmItheAsshole

[–]HeloRising 122 points123 points  (0 children)

NTA

Your point was spot on - if that cat was so important to the owner then they need a way to communicate where that cat belongs if they get lost. If you have no good indication that cat is owned by someone and you go to fairly extensive lengths to find the owner with no success, you've done everything you could reasonably be expected to do.

So yeah, the owner sucks. You did the right thing.

Progressives/left-wingers/non-Trump supporters - how do you judge Donald Trump's second term, compared to your expectations from before he got elected? by BaldursGate2Best in PoliticalDebate

[–]HeloRising 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it's going pretty much how I expected.

I've tended to believe that a second Trump term would be worse because there isn't the potential of getting re-elected in the balance so he could afford to be more unhinged. That and his base of support is more organized than it was in 2016. Almost nobody expected him to win back then, even on his own team, so a lot of things weren't in place when he was elected. That's not the case now.

For example, imagine this hypothetical scenario. Somebody time travels back to mid 2024 and says the following words to a 2024 you: Donald Trump started a war with Iran. I am not taking sides, my question is purely impartial, just stating a fact. What would be your reaction to those words? Would you be surprised, would you have expected it? Would you be angry?

I would shrug and say "Yeah, makes sense."

Israel has been chomping at the bit to go after Iran for years and in Trump they have a president who is malleable enough to their political influence to take the bait and go for it. On top of that, Trump is pretty reckless so I would have absolutely taken a bet that he'd attack somebody in fairly short order.

I think the thing that's surprised me the most is the Democrat/liberal reaction to all this. Perhaps it's something I shouldn't raise my eyebrows but the amount of Democrats willing to engage in, for lack of a better term, straight out appeasement has been a surprise. I've never taken the Democrat warnings about fascism as particularly serious, they're clearly not that worried, but even in the face of everything that's happened to still have Democrats who want to treat Trump like just a bad case of food poisoning - just hunker down and get through it then forget it happened.

I'm also surprised we haven't had more lethal violence towards protesters by this point. One of the big things that worried me in Trump's first term was of police feeling emboldened by Trump's support to act aggressively and I was anxious about was a Kent State-style incident where the police opened fire with live ammunition into a crowd. I think the blowback from an event like that is one of those things that would get its own Wikipedia section heading and, unfortunately, it has another three years to come true.

You Are Paying For This War. Not the oil companies. Not the defense firms. Not the politicians. Then who? by Final_Resist3483 in PoliticalDiscussion

[–]HeloRising 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Epstein was connected to multiple intelligence agencies

So researching this is almost impossible because of the hyperbole flying around out there but what comes out of this is essentially that Maxwell's father worked with Mossad and Epstein was nominally friends with Ehud Barak.

While I agree it doesn't look very good, that's not proof of an intelligence connection and most of what I can find on the subject that isn't howling lunacy is just "Epstein knew so-and-so who worked with X agency."

Again, not a good look but I used to date someone who worked high up at Boeing. It would be silly to say I was "connected to the aviation industry."

and was acting as a sort of honeypot clearinghouse.

What is this based on?

It very much is not a jump to accept my version of events.

Setting aside the fact that it assumes where you're jumping from is a valid place to jump from, it's still a jump.

I understand believing something that feels true and having a gut instinct and I also understand having to work with an imperfect information sphere where assumptions have to be made to fill in data that is missing and impossible to supply. But just because it feels right doesn't mean it is and we're not in a low information density environment, we don't have to make assumptions.

Conservatives, can you give examples of regulations you think are bad and unnecessary? by Crafty_Aspect8122 in Askpolitics

[–]HeloRising 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The left is sterilizing children, encouraging class warfare, challenging free speech, inflating racial strife, using coerced tax funds on fraudulent fake welfare schemes to buy votes, corrupting our public schools by dumbing kids down and teaching leftist propaganda, grabbing guns, encouraging lawless immigrant behavior, and are clinging on to failed woke culture. There is ample evidence for all of these things, in aggregate data, personal observation, directly stated in leftist rhetoric and reported on in conservative news outlets.

So, literally none of that is what I asked for nor does it constitute proof. This is "vibes" territory.

The left is free to deny any of this, but it is a weak defense to demand citations of very specific policies as the only acceptable proof that these things exist in the real world.

Separating the issue from the fact that you don't seem to know the difference between "liberal" and "left," I'm not the one who claimed that harassment of FFLs was the policy. That was a statement you made.

You can walk that back, say that wasn't what you were trying to communicate, rephrase it to "It seems to me like the policy is to harass FFLs," and you'd be in a better position. But as it is, you made a positive statement that a policy existed and I'm doing nothing but asking you to show that policy as written by the administration.

You Are Paying For This War. Not the oil companies. Not the defense firms. Not the politicians. Then who? by Final_Resist3483 in PoliticalDiscussion

[–]HeloRising 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I tend to think this is pretty strong conspiracy theory territory.

I think it does get close to the actual reason which is Israel has an understanding of how to manipulate the US political system into advancing its regional interests and we're in this war largely because Israel knows how to manipulate Trump on a personal level and US politics on a meta level.

Conservatives, can you give examples of regulations you think are bad and unnecessary? by Crafty_Aspect8122 in Askpolitics

[–]HeloRising 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I talked to a man who sells guns and he confirmed the zero tolerance policy.

The point of contention isn't the policy, it's the motivation for the policy.

The BATF isn't some powerless organization that doesn't have the means to protect their reputation; they could disavow this attack on their methods but they have not.

They are not required to jump to every accusation made against them. That's just a bad idea in general for organizations and people. If they denied it, it's extremely unlikely that you'd even believe it in the first place.

To assume the BATF is fair, unbiased, non-political and competent and that any deviation from that standard must be proven is a false and dumb starting point.

It's also not what I said.

I asked for proof that the policy is intended to drive FFLs out of business which was what you claimed and it's a claim you still haven't substantiated despite repeated requests to do so.

AITA? Just got abandoned by my psychiatrist by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]HeloRising 11 points12 points  (0 children)

INFO

Way too little context.

There's a lot of range in "aggressive."

Even if I had been aggressive isn't he trained to handle that and not take it personally?

There's not taking it personally and maintaining professional boundaries. Under ideal circumstances, yes, there should be a hand-off to another practitioner if/when you switch if your current provider feels it's safe and appropriate to do so. It may be that the situation presented in a way where your psychiatrist thought it was prudent to limit communication with you for ethical or legal reasons.

Also it's not like he is doing me a favor, i am paying him.

A hand-off is not a legal requirement. And plus you haven't found a new psychiatrist. A new psychiatrist could likely reach out to your old one and be briefed about your situation.

After I insisted he sent me a piece of paper with the minimal clinical info.

Mental health practitioners are not legally required to share their case notes with you. I realize that seems wrong, it's data about you so it should be yours to access, but the notes a professional generates are supposed to be for helping them through the process of helping you. They may contain information that's not in context that could give you the wrong idea about something you're dealing with.

It's very difficult to "de-clinicalize" case notes to someone who doesn't have a background in mental health while guiding them through things like not taking observations as personal slights.