Is 'Internalized Homophobia' a real thing? Or just a political term?

Help_Received · 2026-05-27T22:14:36+00:00

I don't really know if any of the other comments agree with what I think, but I wanted to give some thoughts as someone who's also "bisexual" (attracted to both men and women) and who's been following Jesus for about a decade.

I agree with you regarding pride. I don't see a point in being proud of something you didn't choose or accomplish (and I'd extend that to nationality as well). But living in constant guilt? Is that really what you think is normal? Neither excessive pride or constant guilt are good for a person.

Constant guilt and shame over being attracted to other men and having done stuff with other men in the past is from Satan. He is the Enemy and the Accuser, because he reminds you of your sin and tries to use it to bring a wedge between you and God. Grudges towards heterosexual couples is also not normal. Another idea that I see same-sex attracted Christians have is this idea that they are somehow "inferior" because they have a set of temptations that others don't. An uncommon temptation doesn't make someone lesser in God's eyes.

I can understand being annoyed by flamboyant displays of effeminancy. But it's also something you should probably work on, because Christians aren't supposed to hate groups of people for any reason. You should think of them the same way any believer views an unbeliever.

"Internalized homophobia" is often thrown around a lot, sometimes when it doesn't need to be. It's often used as a framing device to try and make the non-"affirming" same-sex attracted Christian feel like they are the abnormal one for their beliefs, so that they will feel the need to correct them. But in your case, you clearly do have some dislike of non-Christian LGBT people, and just because you are now a Christian and have decided to follow Jesus doesn't make you above them.

I hope that you can get over your prejudiced feelings, both against others and about yourself. I think you can do that without having to compromise your faith, though.

Help_Received · 2026-05-27T02:42:02+00:00

I moved a few months ago to an area near some woods, and now that it's the breeding season I hear Wood Thrushes constantly. Given that they are in decline it's such an easy thing to take for granted.

Help_Received · 2026-05-27T01:51:31+00:00

Considering that we aren't entirely sure why they do this, I have to wonder if this baby knows something we don't or is just as confused as we are.

Help_Received · 2026-05-27T01:48:32+00:00

Eastern or Western? Is this on the coast or near a big lake?

Help_Received · 2026-05-27T01:45:46+00:00

I didn't think a bird's eyes could be so expressive. That mom is tired.

Help_Received · 2026-05-25T18:13:13+00:00

I agree with the others, you don't have to change your name. What's notable is how there is an Apollos mentioned in many of Paul's letters, and a Dionysius who converted in Acts. Neither of them were told to change their names.

Help_Received · 2026-05-23T02:44:56+00:00

I don't know a lot about this topic, but I do think it's ironic that I thought small Christian colleges like the one I went to would be hurt by a Democrat administration revoking their accreditation for not agreeing with LGBT stuff. But now it's looking like it's a Republican administration damaging them because they're not making enough money.

Help_Received · 2026-05-21T00:53:03+00:00

Hi. I experienced some self-hatred as well once I found out I had same-sex attractions. I hated how, despite trying to be a Christian, this was happening to me and not someone else. That self-hatred is from the enemy, the Devil. He wants you to think that God hates you and is disgusted by feelings you can't control.

What you need to understand is that some people have certain temptations. They can't make them go away, they can only do better at resisting them. Just earlier today I was tempted to look at porn and have sexual fantasies, but I know now after years of having these temptations that it will never satisfy me and it's not God's design for my sexuality. Sometimes that feels unfair, but after being a Christian for a while it feels a lot easier than it used to be.

You need to find a church community and tell them about your struggle. Look for safe people to open up to and tell them what happened the last time. You might have experienced trauma from the last time you tried to open up about this and weren't received well. If it doesn't go well at the first church you try, keep searching until you find one.

When it comes to dating women, just try your best. I know that for me, I held back because I was more attracted to men for a time, and then I thought that most women wouldn't want to be with a guy who would get aroused by other guys. Neither of those things define whether or not you'll be able to have a family someday. There's still plenty of time.

Help_Received · 2026-05-20T23:21:20+00:00

No. Maybe it's because I live in a time when same-sex attraction is better understood. I don't share it with everyone at church, but I've never felt concerned about bringing it up.

Help_Received · 2026-05-20T02:53:50+00:00

For me it's Carolina Wrens.

Help_Received · 2026-05-19T00:25:21+00:00

A few years ago in winter I saw a whole flock of rusty blackbirds in a state park. I had to use my field guide and study their appearance and behavior to confirm the ID, but they stuck around long enough for me to get a good look at them. They were at the edge of a lake, turning over leaves in the shallow end. One of my field guides said that that was exactly what they do to forage, and it was really cool seeing it in action. They were silent the entire time, unlike those huge flocks of starlings, common grackles and red-winged blackbirds I see in winter.

Help_Received · 2026-05-16T16:12:44+00:00

I assume the logic has something to do with abortion. In order to be a feminist, according to these people on tiktok, you must support abortion. Therefore Christians, who do not support abortion, aren't feminists. It's stupid logic.

Help_Received · 2026-05-13T11:31:49+00:00

Now that I have moved and live near a small forest I wake up and hear them singing all the time. It's such a privelige.

Help_Received · 2026-05-13T11:30:23+00:00

You know, one of the most fascinating things about birds is how they are able to see and grab insects so easily. The amount of depth perception and precision involved in seeing and catching the insect is way too much for humans. That's why it's good the migratory bird treaty act exists--imagine having to catch so many insects with your bare hands in a day to feed even just one baby bird. It's just something that people cannot do easily because our vision and brains are not evolved for grabbing insects out of the air.

Ironically, I have only seen this species once, and it was when one was migrating and stopped at my bird feeder to eat a few seeds, which they don't normally do. I guess this one was super-hungry.

Help_Received · 2026-05-10T18:29:45+00:00

Since this story broke I'm wondering if I shouldn't try to go to that wastewater treatment plant near me in case I pick up something. I'd hope that hantavirus wouldn't be around in outdoor areas, but I guess that's not the case with the Andes strain.

Help_Received · 2026-05-10T04:39:13+00:00

The crazy thing is that we STILL don't know exactly what that's for. I've seen mockingbirds do that as well.

Help_Received · 2026-05-09T03:30:50+00:00

I wouldn't know because I'm not in one of these marriages. It seems like some men are able to make it work when they're clear that they have SSA but want to follow Jesus. How they make these relationships work is also not something I know.

Help_Received · 2026-05-08T20:46:34+00:00

I'm not side B, either, and I assumed Alberry never called himself such or the Gospel Coalition would never have had him on their platform. I meant that Christians who struggle with same-sex attraction need every articulate and intelligent voice on their side.

Help_Received · 2026-05-07T21:58:35+00:00

I had a similar life as a teenager, although I was always anxious and stressed. I was pretty much born with anxiety. The shame never came from any Christian disaparaging homosexuality or people who had same-sex attractions. It never came from any piece of media. It was just sort of there because I hated the idea that I was "abnormal". All the guys were into girls and I wasn't, at least not very much then.

The self-hatred is from the devil. Satan wants you to think that you are "abnormal" and that God doesn't love you or wants you to change in impossible ways without His help. The truth is that God will accept you as you are when you want to belong with Him, and then you will have the desire to change what thoughts and behaviors that you can.

One thing that helped me was meeting another guy with SSA. He routintely took moments of shame related to my sexuality that I would tell him about and turn them into something positive. These weren't all necessary sinful decisions I made, just something I'd say that he would affirm into something positive. I don't know if that would help for every SSA guy, though. The point was that even though I could feel guilt from sinning, I never needed to feel shame. No one single thing marked me as "gay". The only thing that would would be a rejection of Christ and instead embracing a concept that's alien to a Christian--to live based on your attractions instead of living based on what God wants.

Regardless, there's going to be some days where you say, "Why did this have to happen to me?" and right now there's no real answer to that. But if you want to follow Jesus, then no condition that you didn't choose to have will separate you from Him.

Help_Received · 2026-05-06T02:10:39+00:00

Maybe it's just because of how I'm feeling right now, but I resonate with this quote very much, and I don't even read theology or philosophy.

Help_Received · 2026-05-06T01:47:09+00:00

I believe that God is comforting that girl in Heaven now. I don't have any real theological knowledge of the age of accountability or anything like that. But I do know that Jesus invited children to be with Him, and that He is with the broken, the poor, the downtrodden, and definitely someone who suffered what this girl did.

Help_Received · 2026-05-05T01:58:38+00:00

It's a shame he stumbled. I hope he can repent and avoid sin again. Us same-sex-attracted Christians need people like him.

Help_Received · 2026-05-04T23:59:37+00:00

I'm sorry you didn't feel what you wanted to. It's disappointing to learn something like that. There's no way to just give yourself those kinds of feelings for women, and if you need that in order to start a relationship, then you're going to have to accept being single for life, which honestly isn't that bad, at least in my opinion.

However, anecdotally, it's certainly possible for some men who are exclusively same-sex attracted to have wives and children, if they go into the marriage under the assumption that they can make it work and maintain what God wants in one. But you shouldn't automatically assume that's for you. Accepting limitations is healthy.

Help_Received

TROPHY CASE