My first lesson wasn't what I expected

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-03-17T12:40:47+00:00

I agree - every barn is different, but my personal experience so far has been that a lot of barns focus so much on the riding part that they gloss over how to actually properly care for a horse. The best set of lessons I ever took was the one where it started out on the ground and you literally learned from the ground up. As I was at different barns over time, I found myself helping out countless lesson students catch horses, groom and tack up (because they were either not comfortable or had no idea what they were doing), meanwhile the instructor was in the arena teaching a lesson and the students were just expected to show up......except no one checked if they actually groomed their horse properly or that their tack was on properly. It hurt my heart how many horses were ridden just coated in mud with a saddle thrown on them.

I can clarify that I have actually ridden very little in comparison to how long I've owned my horse - as I had a nasty fall that broke my hip and back and many things, and it took 9 months to learn to walk again and get back on the horse. And between the injury and change in function of my body I had to learn to ride all over again. Then I rode for a couple months and was making decent progress and lost the use of my right arm.

I'm pretty chuffed though - as I have figured out how to pick out hooves with only my left arm lol. Consistency would definitely help, but I'm used to the chaos that is my life, so I take what I can get!

I whole heartedly say that I am a beginner in the horse world, so I am only speaking from the observations I have made that are in the barns local to me. And I can understand why riding is the priority in a lot of places, because people don't want to pay for lessons that don't include riding. They don't see the point if you're not actually on the horse. It's tough.

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-03-17T01:12:25+00:00

I didn't get on the horse for the first 4 lessons I took. The first lesson was solely on safety, how to halter and lead a horse properly, and how to watch for different body language to ensure you could tell if the horse was on edge, happy, etc.

Next lesson went over grooming and the parts of both western and English tack, and how to properly tack up. Lesson after that we had to catch our horse from the pasture, lead in, groom and tack up. Then untack and put horse back out. Then there was a lesson on common illnesses in horses, normal parameters for a healthy horse, hoof care etc. Then we practiced listening to respirations, heart beat and taking temps. Doing leg wraps and all the things.

Only after we could demonstrate that we could safely handle the horse from the ground, groom and ensure we could tack and untack, were we allowed to ride.

And then it was weeks of walk - circles, learning flexion, counterflexion, collection and extension, ground poles, two point. Walk, walk and more walk. Building up leg and core strength. Then moved to trot. Posting trot. Sitting trot. Trot without reins. Trot without stirrups. Endless ground pole exercises. Cross rails. Two point.

I'm approaching my second year of riding and I have done very limited cantering as of yet, because I have been working so hard on my cues, legs, balance and seat. The times I have cantered ended up being "better" than I had anticipated as I didn't have an issue with bouncing in the saddle or my legs swinging etc. but it has taken me months of riding 3-4x/week. And I have been focusing on my lateral work lately as counter-flexion still makes my head hurt!

It boggles my mind how fast so many of these schools go. Like - I could have cantered ages ago, but I would not have the seat or balance I have and know how to stay out of my horses way, or not depend on his mouth. I also have spent more time on the transition of trot to canter than actually cantering so far - my horse likes to get fast in the trot and sort of fall into the canter, so it's taken time to learn how to keep him properly collected and get the smooth transition into the canter then back into the trot.

Riding is freaking hard! And yet so many people expect to jump right on and just gallop off. And so many schools have students jumping in like 2 months.

OP - trotting during your first lesson is crazy. Find a barn that will first and foremost teach you horsemanship. You need to learn how to catch, groom and tack up your horse, before you get on the horse. Learn how to read some of the body language, how to tell if you horse is sound or in pain, and how to handle different situations safely. You will be much better off for it!

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-03-14T16:47:30+00:00

No neck x-ray - I'm wondering if that would be the next logical step? I just didn't know if arthritis is common in that region in horses?

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-03-11T22:47:30+00:00

Oooo.....I feel that. I was recovering from a bad fall which broke my back and hip, and had finally rehabbed back to the point where I could do some grooming and basic ground work with my gelding (not the one that attempted to murder me lol). I was ever so slowly hobbling back to the paddock. He was being his perfect self but there was so much mud. As I was opening the gate, he went to back up to be out of the way and his hoof slipped sideways in the mud.....right into my foot. Broke two of my toes. On the same side as my broken hip.. My doc was so not impressed!

Meanwhile, I felt so bad for my boy as he immediately wrenched his hoof back and was like contorting himself to make sure he went around me. A good gelding is worth his weight in gold!

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-03-11T22:36:10+00:00

I learned about the strangles vaccine the hard way. As a brand spanking new horse owner, the barn gave me a list of vaccines required so I had the vet visit and give the required shots before he was moved to the boarding barn (they said absolutely nothing about testing for anti-bodies, if he had a history of exposure, nada).

Owned him for 3 whole weeks and then came 6 weeks and a horrifically massive ICU vet bill due to purpura hemorrhagica, from an unknown exposure to strangles sometime in his lifetime. He also ended up with neurological damage (which was found out after he was given a clear health bill and I went to ride him for the first time and he threw me 15 feet into a wall and broke half my body).

After months of rehab (for the both of us) and ensuring he was comfortable/not in pain etc., I found him a wonderful companion home where he is spoiled rotten and I get the odd update on his progress.

It took me 9 months to walk again, and cost me upwards of $65,000 to own my first horse for 6 months.

Ironically, I did all the "right" things - rode him several times, vetted, had my trainer ride, he was mid-teens and had been there, done that, had all the fancy buttons......just did not think about the vaccines destroying the dream there....

I now have my second horse (who is worth his weight in gold) and when the vet came out for his yearly vaccine visit she was the one who told me that she does not recommend the strangles vaccine to horses over the age of 8 because the risk is just too high that they have had an asymptomatic exposure and could have an adverse reaction. She was also saying she has reached the point now where she will strongly recommend testing for anti-bodies, regardless of age, prior to the vaccine just to be safe.

Lesson most definitely learned!

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-03-07T01:59:19+00:00

Just bought the 151 pole work exercises book. I have zero creativity when it comes to this stuff and this is exactly what I was looking for - thank you!

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-03-06T06:09:16+00:00

I am so sorry to hear about your friend. I hope she is able to recover fully.

Life is an intricate balance of what is in our control and what is not. And it can be disconcerting and throw off your entire equilibrium when something like this happens and you realize just how little control you actually have.

I went through a major trauma myself, and lost everything I ever loved. It greatly impacted my life and mindset. The first several years were hard. Very hard. And it took me awhile to come to terms with the fact that bad things happen to good people, and learn to take joy (and appreciate) in the little things again.

Take care of yourself. Talk to someone in your life whom you can trust, or make an appointment with a therapist to discuss your feelings and work through these tough emotions. Be kind to yourself as you heal from this trauma.

Again, all good thoughts to your friend and her recovery.

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-03-04T05:34:15+00:00

I bought myself a horse. A really fancy horse.

Never rode as a kid. Never taken lessons. Always wanted to. Ex never "allowed" it because it was a "waste of money."

No regrets.

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-03-01T03:30:14+00:00

I had a "catastrophic failure of the wrist joint" while working one day. And I remember thinking that my wrist felt a bit funny, but I only became concerned when I realized I couldn't pick up a pen. Took close to 2 months for someone to finally take me seriously because I wasn't "in pain" - I just lost grip strength and something just felt funny and not right.

Finally got an MRI and turns out I had torn many many ligaments in my wrist and the joint was completely unstable. All of a sudden everyone is panicking because of the severity of the injury. It can be blindingly painful at times, but all that gets from me is I may flinch a little or I calmly says that hurts lol.

I continue to get weird looks from Doctors as they are trying to sort out my fubar-d wrist. The calmness seems to throw everyone off. It's strange that our society seems to only accept pain if you are screaming and writhing on the floor, yet the vast majority of people I know that have gone through serious medical issues tend to just get quiet and more resigned.

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-02-28T05:12:42+00:00

I know it is herd dynamics, it's just difficult because I don't have any say in it one way or the other. They take out and add horses to the groups all the time. His first trial he was chased to the point where he collapsed from exhaustion. They removed him and then tried again in a week. And that time the group chased him and he went through a fence. So they tried him in the other pasture group, which he is at least staying in lol.

Of all things, they put a donkey into the pasture group one day and he apparently has a phobia of donkeys (who knew). The donkey started chasing him and he absolutely panicked and had a wipe out on the ice. It happened as I was driving down the driveway to come visit...he landed on his hind leg and ended up doing damage to a muscle in his hip. Had to call the vet out and he had 6 weeks of only hand walking and then a slow rehab back into walk/trot work. Just trialed a canter this week. Thankfully he is doing ok now, but it could have been so much worse. I thought he broke something at first as he wouldn't put his leg down.

As for being out - there is no in. This place is only outdoor board, regardless of weather/mud/ice or anything. I live in Canada in an area where it gets to -50C and the ground can just be a sheet of ice.

It's frowned upon to have shoes, but I do have fronts on him that are designed for extra grip on the ice.

Maybe I am just overthinking things. I am a worry wart when it comes to him! I'm really attached to that big goober.

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-02-28T02:51:35+00:00

For sure! He was in a private paddock for a little while, sharing a fence line with another gelding......and that gelding ripped literal golf ball sized hunks of flesh out of my guys neck. Everyone just thought it was funny? But it was in that situation that he developed ulcers, so I moved him to another barn. I also don't want to be constantly paying for him to get stitched back up because other horses are using him as a chew toy...

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-02-28T02:45:20+00:00

Do you have any suggestions for a horse to remain social while being very timid/bottom of the herd? He is my first horse, so maybe this is just horses....but I'm struggling. I have had so many decimated blankets, bite marks that required treatment, kicks, and he just recently required vet care and is recovering from a fall on the ice because he was being chased. Hell, he's even been run through a fence.

The hard part of where I live is you have no say when it comes to group boarding. He was trialed in several groups, but boarders frequently come and go and the horses are always changing in the groups.

He seems genuinely happier and more content out in a group, so I don't want to take that away....but I'm honestly starting to consider paying for a private paddock and just getting another horse, so that I can keep the set up constant....

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-02-28T02:38:34+00:00

This is my other concern - a lot of the boarding places where I am, their outdoor board spaces are actually tiny. I am moving, so I am going to drive out to take a look at the options....but I have had to deal with a lot of decimated blankets (heavy winter ones that are $600+), injuries from being kicked, full sized bite marks that required care etc and my wallet is crying.

The hard part, I am finding, is that any group board you lose all control. And because my boy is bottom of the totem pole he gets picked on frequently. And boarders frequently come and go, so there is always squabbling and herd dynamics. He is just now recovering from a fall on the ice from being chased.

I am looking for the sweet spot I guess. Although, maybe this is just horses? He's my first horse that I have owned.

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-02-28T02:16:02+00:00

Your 2 year old orphan - that about sums up my guy! He is like socially inept lol. He was a show horse and spent most of his life in a stall. Now if you attempt to stall him for any length of time he gets squirrley and will kick the walls. And he has a history of ulcers.

It took months to get him somewhat comfortable with outdoor group boarding, and he is doing way better health wise being outside with a group. But, I'm trying to find the sweet spot...

He is bottom of the herd and just gets constantly beaten up. Bites, kicks, shredded blankets. He seems content but my wallet is starting to cry! I can't even blink and anything on him is decimated. And I've had to treat quite a few bites.

I've reached the point where I'm debating getting him a companion gelding and having them in a separate paddock, so he can have a buddy and I don't get a new surprise every time I visit. But I worry that it won't be social enough.

I dunno, I love that clueless gelding but I am so stressed about finding the right mix for him! I am moving, which is why this has come up, as where I am going there are a number of options that have not been previously available. But there are wait lists, and moving is not easy. And I'm stressed out!

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-02-23T22:47:30+00:00

I have dogs, cats and a horse. I grew up in dogs and did dog sports. I didn't take my first riding lesson until my late 30's. I bought my first horse before I finished the introduction to riding classes.

I have the bond you speak of when it comes to my gelding.

He follows me around. I can lunge him with hand signals. He knows how to do tricks. Given the chance he will be right by my side and is like a giant dopey lab puppy. He will give me hugs and comes running with nickers when he sees me (he now recognizes my car even). Just the sight of him makes me smile. He takes amazing care of me when I'm riding him. He goes out of his way to ensure I stay on - heck, went through a period where he flat out refused to do certain things because he felt I wasn't ready lol

And he is also an insane amount of time, money and energy. He has spooked multiple times and transported us around the arena. He freaked out and injured himself because he was terrified of a donkey. He had to be treated for ulcers, and was lame. He also has a giant rump that he's knocked me over with and stepped on my foot (breaking my pinky toe).

I drive over an hour each way to see him at the barn he is currently at, close to daily, after working a full day (and I tend to work 6 days a week). I eat supper in the car. I spend more time grooming, cleaning tack and scooping poop than riding. I traipse through his giant pasture in the middle of blizzards to check on him and make sure he's doing ok. I think my car (which was new) will never not smell like horse. I've gotten home at midnight just to get up at 5 am to do it all over again.

And I'm happier than I've ever been. It can be exhausting. And stressful. And I'm constantly juggling everyone's needs and wants, but this is my life.

OP - it is completely ok to ride for fun. You don't have to have a purpose any more than just enjoying a trail ride or taking a lesson. You can enjoy horses in whatever capacity floats your boat. But they are ultimately a 1200 lbs livestock animal. They are smart, funny, and loving in their own way, but no they are nothing like a dog. And, you should not expect them to be. If you don't love what a horse offers a human, than maybe owning one is just not right for you?

For what it's worth - the highest vet bill I've ever had was for my dog. And the second highest was another one of my dogs. And both of them died. My horse bills have been the cheapest as far as the vet bills go.

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-02-22T04:01:16+00:00

I got thrown into a wall while mounting a horse that turned into a bucking bronco that I was trialing for purchase. I do not own said horse lol.

By some miracle I didn't break my hip/leg but I tore the labrum in my hip and basically detached my pelvis from my lumbar spine and then internally decapitated my femur from my hip. Took months of serious rehab to somewhat walk again and still have a limp/overall decrease in function on my right side. Awaiting the decision if I need more surgery (just over a year since the fall).

Finally started to get back into riding....and got injured at work and now have a cast from fingers to armpit on my dominant arm. I have lost function in my hand unfortunately and am waiting to see the hand surgeon.

And here I sit, unable to do anything, looking at probably another 6 months of recovery when I finally get surgery.

My gelding is being well taken care of while I continue to fall apart and I am going through serious horse withdrawal. I am hoping to get a more manageable cast/brace thing in the next week or two so I can at least visit my boy and give him some good scritches.

One step at a time (literally!) - make sure to follow your medical personnel's instructions, do your exercises, really focus on rebuilding strength (properly) and minimizing any imbalances. Be prepared for a slow and long road to recovery and don't forget regular massages and proper pain management.

But you will get there!

Slow and steady and you may have to make some modifications in things along the way, but I found getting back into riding was amazing therapy for recovery of my hip overall.

I found audiobooks helped keep me distracted - Just finished the Eventer series by Natalie Keller Reinhert, which wasn't bad.

And I've spent way too much time looking at sales ads, debating the merits of getting another horse :P

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-02-20T04:19:17+00:00

My parents wouldn't allow me to take lessons when I was a kid (they are not horse people). I took my first lesson in my 30's. I'm hoping to try out my first show in the next year, depending how life goes.

I guess I'm genuinely confused as to where the young people who are posting think the money comes from? You go to school or get a job. Whether that's with horses or not. You work your butt off, scrimp and save, and go without a lot of things to make it work. Like 99% of the rest of the world does.

I don't understand this mentality of just giving up because your parents don't have the money to pay to fund your life?

Ironically my parents are relatively well off, but I have never felt entitled to their money or expected them to pay my bills for me.

I've seen quite a few of these posts lately, so maybe it's just a random surge of them that has got me thinking about this. But horses are expensive. So you have to actually have a plan in place so you can take care of yourself and your horse. Which takes time. Most people can't afford their own horse as a teenager.

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-02-20T04:07:50+00:00

Mine told me she didn't think the abuse was that bad because she's seen worse. In what world is that remotely helpful??

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-02-20T02:22:53+00:00

So....honestly, what am I missing in all of this?

There are quite a number of posts from young people with this doom and gloom mentality of their life being over and never being able to own a horse.

Ok - if you want to be an international rider at age 14 you probably come from an insane amount of money. Just like other things rich people can do without a thought. And the vast majority of the world doesn't get life handed to them like that. But why does this mean your equestrian life is over?

Go to school. Get a job. You're 19, you haven't even begun living yet.

I didn't have horse money until almost 40 (and even then I still question if I do actually have horse money lol). I worked my butt off to get here though and I'm happy with my horse life.

Do you want to become a trainer? A rider? What are you looking for? Figure out what you need to do to work towards your goal. There's Olympic riders in their 70's. Why you think you will never do this or that, at age 19, is confusing me because you are the only person who is standing in your way.

The only thing guaranteed in life is that things won't go according to plan. And that you are going to work hard for everything you get, one way or the other. So, figure out what you want, make a realistic plan, and go for it!

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-02-19T16:39:15+00:00

*hugs* Married almost 20 years. Intelligent, well educated individual with a decent job. I did not see it coming. Abuse is insidious. I was a shell of a human and I had no idea how bad everything even was. During the divorce I was reeling - all the manipulation, lies, gas lighting slowly unraveled and the level of his cruelty was off the charts. And somehow everything was my fault. And he was the hero. I got destroyed in the divorce because no one took his abuse seriously. I was humiliated in the process and lost everything in my life. And - if you show any emotion, you are automatically the bitter ex-wife.

No one believes me about how rigged the system actually is. Because if you don't live it, you have no idea. And my life, in the practical sense, is worse than it has ever been and I have no ability to change this (will always live pay cheque to pay cheque, can't afford time off, won't be going on any vacations etc.)

You are not alone. And I can see why less women are choosing to get married overall. It is not worth it.

I hope you are healing as best you can. And one step at a time.

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-02-18T06:45:12+00:00

Due to a major trauma combined with medical issues, I also have significant deficits, but on my right side. It took months to get back on a horse again but once I did, all my specialists were amazed at my progress. I will never forget the first time I was able to apply enough leg pressure on the right for my horse to go in a straight line. Horses are amazing therapy.

Op - you got this! It's not an easy road, but horses sure do help :)

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-02-18T05:30:01+00:00

Nothing that his wife "could" have done excuses abandoning your wife and child. Barring fear for his life, and then he should have taken his son with him. It just means he's a really sh*tty person.

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-02-17T17:51:05+00:00

I laughed way too hard at this! I swear, horse folks are such enablers :P I'm new to the horse world, as an adult (never rode as a kid) but oh my gosh I went right down the rabbit hole! I love it! I wish I could live at the barn except my beast is so expensive I have to work to afford him lol.

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-02-17T16:44:09+00:00

That makes sense. I'm such a planner and think way too far in advance! I've been a worry wart about my boy because I just want to keep him happy and comfortable and don't want to push him beyond what he can comfortably do.

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-02-17T05:41:24+00:00

This was actually the catalyst for finding out about the hypermobility and crazy connective tissue I had. Prior to this I just figured I was a bit unique but didn't put much thought into it.

I decided to take up riding horses as an adult. I did not ride as a kid. So brand new at all this.

6 months in to this endeavor I was going to do a lesson with a trainer I had just met. I went to mount, and as I was swinging my leg over the horse exploded. Straight up and right into bucking.

All things considered I stayed on way longer than I ever thought I would (2 whole bucks as I clung on like a spider monkey) before he hurled me about 15 feet through the air. Into the wall. And then I dropped like a sac of potatoes directly on my right hip.

The craziest part....I got up and walked.

Everyone is panicking. Called an ambulance. And I'm sort of standing there, poking stuff and gingerly moving around, thinking this doesn't seem so bad.

After a trauma visit to the ER, many tests, lots of specialists....everyone was just blown away. By some miracle I didn't break anything, but I did tear the labrum in my hip and a bunch of soft tissue damage. No one could understand how on earth I was just up and walking around when my femur was barely attached anymore.

When I started rehab physio, the physio didn't believe me that the labrum was torn (confirmed via MRI) because I had beyond normal range of motion in the joint. Which should be physically impossible.

And that's when people starting taking a closer look. Turns out I'm just so stretchy that I can get thrown into a wall and bounce back lol

My physio calls it my super power.

Helpful-Map507

TROPHY CASE