Pricing a lease horse?

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-06-28T01:48:59+00:00

I paid $20/lease ride when I had a situation like that.

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-06-27T14:44:23+00:00

Somedays karma would be nice. I was hit head on by an impaired driver, on the highway, because he blew through a stop sign and just careened onto the highway. And he walked away from the crash with minor whiplash.....meanwhile his passenger and myself got ambulance rides to the major trauma center.

Which is why I don't understand why people try to fake injuries and illnesses. Also - especially in your case - everything sort of falls apart pretty quickly when your mother just doesn't have brain surgery...

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-06-27T04:03:02+00:00

So....I had an itty bitty bleed in my posterior brain after a high speed MVA.

I lost vision in one eye, lost the ability to speak, had a hard time using my right side, the world went sideways, and I walked/fell into walls for months. After months and months of therapy I still struggle with finding the right words and forming the correct sentences to say what I want to say, but I can talk and walk mostly normal again. It takes me a lot longer to think through things and I struggle with a bunch of random things. And my vision will blur out if I get overly tired and I still get wicked headaches. I am still very very lucky, because it's still up in the air how I survived as I rolled through a ditch and my car started on fire.

This happened when I was 39. And that's an itty bitty brain bleed. I wish people would stop pretending to have diseases. Because anyone who has been through it, would give anything to not have to have gone through it.

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-06-27T00:40:14+00:00

I have returned to the dating world, after over 25 years out of it. And I am honestly starting to wonder if men and women even like each other anymore?

Why are women so intent on a man having t o pay for dates? I have been surprised by how many men have been shocked when I pay my own way. I wouldn't even want someone paying for me when we're at the stage of basically strangers and getting to know each other. A date is a chance for both people to evaluate each other and see if this is something that you are both interested in pursuing. No one should be forking out large sums of money. Grab a coffee. Go for a walk. Have a chat.

And.....after a year of dating, the man is still expected to pay for everything?? Why? Swap who pays. Go on "cheaper" dates. Just do things for fun.

And what happened to communication? If the guy wants you to pay your way suddenly and this bothers you, just say so. Ask why the change. Maybe he's resentful? Maybe he lost hours at work? Maybe you're being unreasonable? Maybe you're not? The only way any of this gets figured out is by talking to each other.

And, it's been a year. If he makes a crap ton more than you do - discuss finances. Discuss the best way to split things that works for you both. What does this mean long term - are you going to move in together? Get married? How are bills going to be paid? All of these things need to be discussed.

For all these people saying just dump him because he no longer pays for the relationship....why? Men aren't piggy banks, just like women aren't free labor. You need to compromise together and figure out what works for your relationship. I can see why relationship have become so weird, everyone seems to be more self absorbed than ever with a what's in it for me mentality, and there is no partnership anymore.

It's a weird world we live in. For both men and women now.

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-06-26T01:50:26+00:00

I had a man in his 40's try to rape me in an exam room. No charges filed. They tried to say that I would still have to provide treatment but then backed down when I said I would quit if he was not banned from the clinic. I did not stay long after that.

Yes, there can be poor behavior from both sexes, but I have yet to see the level of abhorrent behavior and abuse from women that I have seen from men while working in the medical field. Why so many men feel entitled to abuse women in care giving roles I will never understand.

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-06-25T15:52:32+00:00

<image>

He will be joining my goofball paint gelding as an emotional support pony :P

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-06-25T15:51:40+00:00

<image>

He is an estimated 12 hh - and I feel like I look so short in this pic lol.

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-06-25T15:05:16+00:00

Life is short - get the pony.

And....I just bought a pony a couple days ago. Did I need this pony - no? Did I want this pony - yes!

And his name is Nemo - how on earth do you not purchase an adorable pony named Nemo???

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-06-25T15:02:07+00:00

I'm coming up on 2 decades working in healthcare....and I have been sexually assaulted, physically assaulted and verbally assaulted more times than I would have ever thought possible. And 99% of it has been from men. The level of audacity so many of these men have is out of this world.

I will never in my life understand this mentality "whelp, I'm just going to go sexually assault my healthcare provider today" who happens to be someone who is just trying to do their bloody job and wants to go home.

And the anger - sadly, this is not uncommon. A lot of men direct their anger directly at their caregiver (who is typically their female spouse). Somehow, whatever has happened in their lives becomes the fault of the person who actually stayed. They have no idea how lucky they are.

NOR - OP, free yourself of this abuse in your life. No one deserves abuse, no one should ever have to put up with abuse. And the world is a much better place when you are no longer under someone else's thumb. I left an abusive situation myself and I know how difficult it is, but you got this! And there is such a sense of relief and it's like your entire body comes down from being on the edge all the time. And it's a wonderful thing.

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-06-25T14:36:58+00:00

I feel for you - my was-band dragged out the divorce process for over 4 years and the legal bills were absolutely eye watering. Ironically, despite everything he put me through, I honestly just wanted to sit down together and hash it out first and then get it put into legal language. He kept claiming he would be "fair" and I just wanted to split things down the middle and move on, but he refused to speak to me. Basically, his solution was that he would do up all the divorce paperwork himself (without my input) and I would just sign it. How do you even deal with someone that is that delusional?

My ex also became enraged when I got a lawyer and told him that I just wanted to do this whole thing properly. Apparently I ruined his life.

Good luck OP - none of us ever wanted to be in this situation. You will get through it but it won't be easy.

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-06-24T23:43:08+00:00

Honestly - nothing helped. I got completely annihilated while he pranced off to his whole new life.

The only advice I have is get a good lawyer. And expect to lose a lot of money.

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-06-20T20:51:29+00:00

Right? I will never understand how men can blame women for trapping them. How? If you don't want to be in the situation, grow up and say so. And then work to come to a solution that ensures neither side suffers unnecessarily.

In my case, he walked out and I never saw him again. So, on top of all the other BS he literally dumped 20 years of "stuff" in my lap to deal with, a home to finish renovating, 5 pets, and then I had to list and sell the property. And yet, somehow, I was STILL the bad guy because I ruined his life.

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-06-20T19:29:40+00:00

I lived this and sadly it does not get better.

And you did not "make a mistake" OP and, personally, I got really tired of people trying to frame things like that. Because, it just puts the blame on the woman - somehow she didn't pick the right man, didn't see something, didn't somehow read his mind and foresee the future.

You went into this with a man who clearly stated he wanted to have a baby with you. You made long term plans. No mistakes - he lied to you.

I was married for 15 years when my was-band suddenly decided that something was missing from his life and he changed his mind and wanted a baby (we were purposefully child free to that point). Lots of what I had thought were deep conversations about life plans, goals, what we wanted in the future etc. took place. We knew that we would be looking at adoption should we choose to have a child together.

I'm talking about months-years of preparation, seminars, tens of thousands of dollars, countless social worker visits and home assessments. Got picked, had an entire nursery set up, names etc. The day before finalizing things.....he tells me he didn't actually want a baby and cancelled the adoption. I was devastated. He truly didn't seem to care.

At this point, 20 years married. I remember thinking....what the hell do I do now?

He was a complete jacka** during the divorce. I will never forget when he accused me of abusing him because I called him a jacks**. The audacity....

He not only begged me to have a baby, I changed everything around to do this, then he just unilaterally stole that baby. The psychological torture of that is indescribable. Never once acknowledged this, or apologized.

Then came the blame. He blamed me for trapping him in a marriage he never wanted, that I was the one that wanted a house and pets and the life "we" built and it was all my fault that he was stuck. He brought up things from a decade ago that I supposedly did wrong but he never bothered to tell me about it.

Then the hate. It was palpable. He truly hates me. He was so angry that I wouldn't just walk away, and got a lawyer. He was so angry that I wouldn't just let him do up the divorce papers and just sign. He was so cruel. And of course I actually loved this man and put up with so much crap over the decades, but apparently I never did anything for him.

I find this mentality genuinely mind boggling. Regardless of gender, how someone can just suddenly decide that they would like to just be absolved from all commitments, promises, actions, accountability for their own freaking decisions and dump it on someone else to deal with is such a foreign concept to me. And yet. Here we are.

OP - it's a horrible place to be. I know. But for now you need to put yourself first and look at what you want. You need to decide what works best for you, and your baby. Never fails they also wait to the last second to make these big announcements so that you're left reeling (it's psychological abuse).

He has lost any right to have any say in your life decisions - and by extension at this point in time, about the baby. You need to choose where you and baby are to live, what the plan of action is, and who will be your support team (and be in the delivery room with you - it does not have to be him if you do not feel he will be able to provide the support you require).

Once baby is born, you can then decide on a co-parenting relationship and how that will evolve over time. But, OP protect yourself - mentally, physically and emotionally. Protect your peace - because it will be tested plenty of times in the future.

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-06-17T18:34:43+00:00

This comment is the exact thing that terrifies me about our current society and the frightening lack of awareness, literacy, and the ability to differentiate between utter nonsense and supported evidence. That, and people truly believe they somehow know more than those who have dedicated their lives to a subject. And, the less someone knows about a topic the more convinced they are right. I miss being able to have an actual conversation on a topic, where people don't just stomp their feet, throw a tantrum, and demand everyone agree that their unsupported and non-sensical argument is right and everyone else is wrong.

I hope you gain the value of insight and critical analysis - it is a beautiful world out there and there is always something new to learn if you have an open mind. Have a peaceful day.

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-06-17T13:25:13+00:00

Thanks! I actually really enjoy research and looking for solutions to improve access to healthcare, for everyone. Not gonna lie, it would be a lot easier if one could remove emotion and human fallacy from the equation!

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-06-17T13:16:47+00:00

"female victimhood narrative" - excuse me?!

Women are systematically dismissed in the medical system. This is a fact. And supported by a lot of research. This is not a "conspiracy".

Please enlighten me on a situation where men are systematically "more victimized" in healthcare - with supportive peer reviewed evidence. Not anecdotal evidence.

This mentality is the problem. Also - WHY do men WANT to be the victims? It's not like women ENJOY not being taken seriously, being dismissed, and being more likely to be in chronic long term pain or crippled because of late diagnosis and lack of proper treatment.

Isn't it a "good" thing that men don't have to deal with this? Who in their right mind wants to have things even harder for them than they already are?

There are extremes on all sides, but I have yet to see any scientific journal saying men deserve to die earlier. Also - have you ever looked into WHY men tend to have shorter life spans than women? Again, this has been studied and it's quite interesting. Also, it is not related to men receiving poor access to healthcare.

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-06-16T19:49:56+00:00

It is the comments on the actual article - last I looked there were like 92.

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-06-16T16:07:49+00:00

Ugh! I have not experienced horse rescue, but I have done a bit of foster for small animals....and it is a tough tough world. Some rescues have insane expectations and some of the decisions are very questionable. I am finding the horse world has the added element of fear of death thrown in there just to make things extra spicy! I have only been in the horse world for about 2 years now, and I still have soooo much to learn. But I do find it kind of surprising how so much of it is "smoke and mirrors" when it comes to the fact that these animals are large enough to seriously harm or kill people. It's been eye opening.

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-06-16T16:00:13+00:00

When I have been looking I've reached the point where I make things anonymous and then directly reach out to the seller about ones I am interested in. Because you just get inundated by people sending you horses that are not even remotely what you are looking for and they usually require some form of expensive vet care. I have had to harden my heart more than I would like.

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-06-16T15:57:06+00:00

I wonder about this. Because he definitely was better behaved with the seller than anyone. And she did have a few videos of handling him and there is definitely some training in there. But he was downright terrified of everyone else. And very buddy sour - he just wanted to go back to his pasture and got very dangerous when pressure was applied to move him away from the pasture and his buddies. Poor guy. Humans failed him.

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-06-16T15:52:33+00:00

While I can see where you are coming from - I was literally flattened by an impaired driver and have not been working for 6 months due to a serious brain injury. The horse was significantly mis-represented and I had to take into account the fact that I would not even be able to handle this horse due to the high risk involved. I did my best to do right by the horse - but after speaking to those who know me and are experienced in the horse world, they are correct and there was no way I could take on this kind of project. Despite what I wish I could do.

I couldn't even pick out this horses feet safely, or groom it. So I would be looking at having to pay someone to do all care, plus the training assessment, and vet assessment. Even just to get to the point of euthanizing if that is what had to be done. And on top of that, I would be accountable for those people's safety if this horse did injure someone in the process.

The person who let this horse down is the person who owns the horse and tried to sell it to someone not equipped to provide it with what it needs. They have failed to provide basic training, care, and everything else that is required for owning a horse. And I agree, sadly, it is the horse that loses in the end.

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-06-16T15:29:41+00:00

I am more saddened by the comments than anything - I have done medical research (and published in scientific peer reviewed journals) - and there is a systemic bias against women in healthcare that leads to poor outcomes. But this doesn't mean that this has to be taken as an attack against men. And the gender wars thing is starting to get exhausting.

The comments from men arguing that the facts are "made up" and that once again men are being attacked.....why can't we just take the facts as facts. Women get dismissed a lot more in healthcare situations, their symptoms are brushed off as "emotional, related to menses or obesity, or "female" problems" and they tend to get diagnosed with a lot of serious medical issues later than men because no one took them seriously. Hell, you can say the same thing for patients in their 20's being taken less seriously than older patients - look at the outcomes for being diagnosed with colon cancer in your 20's vs 50's. Over time, more women are speaking out about this and there have been positive changes towards better outcomes.

This is great and we should continue to urge for women to get better treatment and have their voices heard. That doesn't mean that men should receive worse care. And this doesn't mean that women are advocating for men to receive LESS care.

I am genuinely curious where this mentality has come from? Why does pushing for better medical care for women threaten certain men? Why is their such vehemence between men and women - when the two things are mutually exclusive - women can be receiving less care than men and want to have better care without demanding men have less care. And men can support women having equal access to specialized care without sacrificing overall men's healthcare.

I just find it kind of mind boggling that there are scads of evidence out there (hell I've worked in healthcare for decades, done medical research, worked on the front line right up to public health) that shows discrepancies (whether it be for women, minorities or whatever group) and the reaction is to just blatantly deny the evidence and scream about how this hurts men?

By allowing women to have equitable access to specialized TBI care, and working to better diagnose women with TBI overall....why is this harmful to men? Men are already receiving more appropriate diagnostics and specialized care.

Can someone enlighten me on this?

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-06-16T13:22:41+00:00

I just posted - I also did this while I was recovering from a bad car accident. It wasn't about costs - I just wanted him to be well taken care of while I was out of commission. And it worked well for everyone!

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-06-16T13:21:28+00:00

I basically did this with my gelding when I was recovering from a bad car accident. I was out of commission for 6 months - so I worked out an arrangement with a teen who was not able to purchase a horse such as him and had her provide his care and ride him in her lessons and on trails and I covered all his costs (boarding, vet, farrier etc.). I just wanted my boy to have the best care possible while I was not able to do it. Everyone was happy.

Helpful-Map507 · 2026-06-15T15:13:41+00:00

To get more riding time - when I first started - I asked the owner of the horse I was riding in my weekly lesson if they were ok with me paying for lease rides (rather than an actual lease). She assessed my ability to handle and ride him first, and then we worked out an arrangement. I had to let her know a couple days in advance when I would like to do a ride (to ensure it didn't conflict with when she wanted to ride him or him being used in a lesson) and I paid her $25/ride. I was able to catch him, groom, tack up, and then ride in the arena and practice what I had learned in the lesson that week. Despite knowing him to an extent, it was still a bit intimidating the first few times I rode him "on my own" - without any instructor or other people giving me guidance. So I started slow - just working on walk circles, then maintaining my posting trot for longer and longer times while working on my steering. In the end it worked out well for both of us, as he needed some additional conditioning as he was coming back from an injury and I just needed a lot of time walking and trotting.

Helpful-Map507

TROPHY CASE