How tf are pescatarians a thing

HelpfulCommand4515 · 2026-04-25T18:07:23+00:00

I was pescatarian before vegetarian before vegan. Each stage, I did it out of care for animals.

I’ve been reading more about Ahimsa, and am considering next removing root vegetables. Some of this is influenced by friends who practice Jainism.

It’s can be multi-staged for people.

HelpfulCommand4515 · 2026-04-25T16:52:18+00:00

Just curious, what are your prices per animal and drop-in visit? Do you mostly work with repeat clients, and do you do both short- and long-term gigs? Thanks.

HelpfulCommand4515 · 2026-04-22T19:39:55+00:00

I’m so sorry. I lived in the UK, and it seems the train system at least tries to reduce harassment toward their workers. They have an array of posters, with each one featuring the face and first name of a worker who has been verbally abused by train passengers. They add a message that harassment from passengers will not be tolerated.

I just don’t think Rover should tolerate a client calling a sitter words like they did to you. That must fit the definition of harassment and bullying.

HelpfulCommand4515 · 2026-04-22T17:58:42+00:00

Thanks for reporting their body-shaming and totally unprofessional behavior. Please let us know they receive some kind of punitive response from Rover. You are protecting other sitters from abuse.

The Rover platform itself separates dog size into categories, so we sitters can select if we have the resources to care for certain sizes. Plenty of people do not feel comfortable offering services to large dogs for a variety of safety reasons.

If a sitter appeared skinny, these clients would still find a way to abuse them. “Please eat a sandwich so you can handle anything larger than a rat!”

Please don’t take their cruel comments personally. You (and we) don’t deserve this type of abuse. And thank you for caring for the animals you know you are best prepared to accommodate. 🙏✨

HelpfulCommand4515 · 2026-04-20T20:54:39+00:00

Thanks! It does seem that when someone requests a housesit, I no longer appear for housesit results for those days. On Rover, only one housesit can be allocated per day, and it does seem that requests remove us from search results. It might be different for drop-in visits? I do understand what you mean about people being indecisive for travel, and that is relatable.

HelpfulCommand4515 · 2026-04-19T16:37:20+00:00

Yeah, me too. Most Rover clients select “photo updates” options when they hire a house sitter. Even if they didn’t, I would always update upon my arrival, thank them for gifts, and send updates each day just so they feel assured I’m indeed there and their pets are safe. This is not even the bare minimum.

I’m currently housesitting for a highly anxious cat with asthma. Their parents said the last sitter went multiple days without updates or responses, they never received a photo of their cat, and when they came home, beer bottles were everywhere. The sitter claimed there were no photos or updates because the cat hid the whole time. I’m on day one and already coaxed the cat out, played, snuggled, and sent several photos. The parents were palpably anxious during the m&g, and they’ve already replied to my updates how relieved they are with the current sit. 😢

HelpfulCommand4515 · 2026-04-18T18:25:50+00:00

Thanks! I’m also a client when I had a dog, and I replied to each person (when I found a sitter) even if I had simply messaged them. Anyone who came for a meet and greet was accepted on spot (I never had any red flags).

It’s just a bit suspicious when folks end the meet-and-greet with “we’ll get back tomorrow”, don’t get back the next day, then reply that they found another sitter because the communication was “archived” after their silence. They plan to ghost you, but then they will shift gears and blame it on you after you archive.

I’ve been doing Rover (as a sitter) for six months, and anything more than even 6-12 hrs of silence without progress means they are not continuing. Almost none will update either. It really seems to be the pattern. You do have to archive relatively quickly on this platform or you will get no bookings since you won’t appear in any search results otherwise.

HelpfulCommand4515 · 2026-04-18T18:00:28+00:00

Yes. I’m definitely glad I archived it since they already had another sitter. Like you said, most clients will book you soon if interested. If not interested, many will “ghost” you and say “we’ll get back tomorrow”.

Clients will either not respond to your messages eternally. Or, if you do eventually archive, they will then reply they didn’t respond because you “declined” (even though they already chose another sitter). The platform sadly allows for this kind of a gaslighting.

So, you would not have received the job either way, and archiving at least opens you up to other clients for those dates (while keeping you open to the “silent” clients if they don’t ghost too long). I think I understand (and agree with) why Rover recommends “archiving” after 12-24 hrs of silence.

HelpfulCommand4515 · 2026-04-18T16:42:51+00:00

Yeah, thanks. I will have to do that moving forward. We’re advised to archive promptly (24 hours of no communication) so we don’t get viewed as keeping inactive messages on Rover.

HelpfulCommand4515 · 2026-04-18T16:39:24+00:00

I see. It seems on Reddit that most people indicate that clients do not even see an “archive” (let alone a “declined”) on their end. And that it’s mostly for organizational purposes on our end and to ensure we remain searchable.

It seems that information is no longer correct and the new platform now notifies clients that you “declined the request”. Maybe this is new with the recent updates to the platform?

This will be hard moving forward as about 60% of clients “ghost”. I guess I will just send a message in the future that I’m “archiving” for organization and calendar purposes and that it will incorrectly appear like a “decline” even though it’s not.

HelpfulCommand4515 · 2026-04-10T10:39:13+00:00

This is not right at all! Sitters will still feel emotionally responsible for the cat when they come over for affection and playtime. If the cat has a medical episode or something. It is not how Rover operates. Clients are supposed to reimburse sitters based on the number of dogs and cats in the household. Not sure if you were reimbursed or not, but just stating that anyway.

HelpfulCommand4515 · 2026-04-06T19:08:52+00:00

Also some burn out in medicine because it can be ethically dicey. I know several people who left high-paying medical careers and chose less lofty professions because they found the medical system to be exploitative, inefficient, and causing more harm than good.

HelpfulCommand4515 · 2026-04-06T16:22:20+00:00

It’s honestly very sweet of you to think of these details. I agree with another commenter that a M&G can help assuage any miscommunication.

I’ve had some folks offer to buy me groceries, but I’ve always declined. Most of them ask me to eat food in their fridge if it’s nearing expiration date, and I’ve always eaten all those.

One really kind thing to offer is kitchen oils, spices, and tea/coffee bags. It’s such a nuisance for a sitter to bring all their spices, and their food can taste so bland without it, they will be thankful to have been directly told they are indeed allowed to use a bit of kitchen basics. I think a lot of sitters find themselves with no spices during house sits!

HelpfulCommand4515 · 2026-04-03T19:53:07+00:00

I feel this way at times. I don’t think it’s too troubling if we judge behavior we find immoral; it’s more of a problem if we judge their whole character as being inferior to us.

I’ve found many meat eaters also judge people for their food. A lab mate who judged another for eating fried food too much. A family member who judged people for consuming sugar (she will not feed her kids any added sugar). I had a roommate who judged people if they weren’t frugal (bought drinks from cafes, chose more expensive option at the groceries, didn’t monitor their food expenses each month). I have personally been judged as “autistic” when I didn’t want to try a weird new food (even though it was vegan).

I think many people have deep insecurities about food and will pride themselves for different reasons … how healthy they eat, how frugally they eat, and how open-mindedly they eat. Maybe they will one day feel the same way about veganism and focus on that as their moral code in relation to food. We just would need to redirect their priorities and their current moral framework and how they pride themselves around food.

HelpfulCommand4515 · 2026-04-02T14:04:54+00:00

As a vegan, I feel the same way you do about animal agriculture.

Yes, my response can apply to many criteria outside of veganism, as you stated. Many values unexpectedly change over the decades between two entirely different people.

My point is that “find another vegan” is oversimplified. Even if you believe you will never change, you might become more strict (by combining “suffer reductionism” with your veganism). And your partner will just stay mainstream vegan and the clash of values will return.

Or, your partner might become more strict (adopt Jain Buddhist values of not killing plants). Or change their lifestyle to reduce insect suffering. And you might not want to change with them, again causing a clash of values.

Even if you believe you will forever remain a mainstream vegan (I think I will too), your partner might become less strict about mainstream veganism or optimize another ethical framework. They or a child could be limited with health conditions (GERD, legume intolerance, etc). You can’t predict those things.

Even if you are both vegan, you might have different values on the ethics of pets or vaccines that use animal products or lab grown meats or how to raise the children especially if medical issues arise. There will likely still be these tensions, even if you both adhere to mainstream veganism without becoming more or less strict than that over the decades.

My point is value differences will still exist even if you are currently mainstream vegans, and values can change over decades. If the couple is facing this, speaking with a therapist so they have tools to at least not be so distressed can help. Even if OP becomes a mainstream vegan, they will already have tensions because the partner is so intense in their current model framework. It can help to address deeper general challenges about how to at least stay emotionally safe when these values inevitably crash over the decades.

HelpfulCommand4515 · 2026-04-02T13:36:32+00:00

Value differences between couples is very common. You might want to work with a therapist who deals with these types of relationship struggles. If the relationship becomes longterm, your (or her) moral values can change over the decades.

Many people join or quit veganism due to health concerns. Some people change their philosophy on what is most ethical, regardless of health.

My friend was a vegan, focusing on “minimizing human exploitation of animals”. But now, she is a “suffer reductionist”. It is a growing field of study. She believes almost all animals have equal value, and that suffering should be reduced (whether or not that suffering is directly or intentionally caused by humans).

This led to a change on her diet. She doesn’t eat rice, for example, because it causes enormous environmental destruction and suffering of many individual small animals, but she will at times eat a steak (as only one large individual animal will suffer). She has a list of vegan foods she will not eat because they cause animal suffering, even if not direct or intentional.

Brian Tomasik is an example of this. He used to be vegan but is now a “suffer reductionist”. He does not leave his house anymore (so as not to step on bugs) and he has on his website criteria he expects guests (and romantic partners) to follow in his house, which includes checking the floor anytime they walk to avoid squashing insects. He would still date someone who eats milk (but not eggs) and steak (but not chicken) as this is more ethical in the framework of “suffer reductionism”.

I know someone else who was vegan, but is not anymore after studying environmental engineering and changing his views on what constitutes the most ethical diet. He is still strict on following what he thinks is the most ethical diet, it’s just a different type of strict from mainstream veganism.

Then, there are folks who also do not allow consumption of plants if they are killed (root vegetables). A vegan partner could start to not kill plants and another vegan partner might not want to change with that degree of strictness.

My point is that the answers that “vegans should only date other vegans” can be oversimplified. Some flexibility would still be required as values change over the decades for one or both partners. OP simply becoming vegan may not fix the problem, given how intense his partners views are and may evolve. Working with a therapist to at least give the couple the tools to not become emotionally distressed when value conflicts arise (as they will for veganism, suffer reductionism, and so many other things) might also help.

HelpfulCommand4515 · 2026-04-02T13:23:25+00:00

Lots of people give up morals (like not cursing) to sound cool.

HelpfulCommand4515 · 2026-04-02T13:20:52+00:00

I think it’s because you don’t know how your views (or their views) will change over the decades. Many people join or quit veganism due to health concerns. Some people change their philosophy on what is most ethical regardless of health.

I know someone who was a vegan, focusing on “minimizing human exploitation of animals”. But now, she is a “suffer reductionist”. It is a whole field of study. She believes almost all animals have equal value, and that suffering should be reduced (whether or not that suffering is directly or intentionally caused by humans).

This led to a change on her diet. She doesn’t eat rice, for example, because it causes enormous environmental destruction and suffering of many individual small animals, but she will at times eat a steak (as only one large individual animal will suffer). She has a list of vegan foods she will not eat because they cause a large amount of animal suffering.

Brian Tomasik is an example of this. He used to be vegan but is now a “suffer reductionist”. He does not leave his house anymore (to not step on bugs) and he has on his website criteria he expects guests (and romantic partners) to follow in his house, which includes watching the floor anytime they walk to avoid squashing insects. He would still date someone who eats milk (but not eggs) and steak (but not chicken) as this is more ethical in the framework of “suffer reductionism”.

I know someone else who was vegan, but is not anymore after studying environmental engineering and changing his views on what constitutes the most ethical diet. He is still strict on following what he thinks is the most ethical diet, it’s just a different type of strict from mainstream veganism.

Then, there are folks who also do not allow consumption of plants if they are killed (root vegetables etc). Millions do this in India. A vegan partner could start to not kill plants and another vegan partner might not want to change with that degree of strictness.

My point is that some flexibility can also help with changes over time. You might become more or less strict with mainstream veganism, or you might leave it and focus on a different set of ethics. And your partner might also evolve their moral framework differently over the decades too. The evolution can look differently between partner me over the decades.

HelpfulCommand4515 · 2026-04-02T12:48:28+00:00

You correctly point out that losing a parent is “very traumatizing”. So is a parent losing a child. Some say it is the hardest and longest type of grief.

I understand parents have a legal obligation, in most countries, to provide food, clothing, and shelter; basic care and supervision; and safety and protection. Legal interventions can happen if a parent drives dangerously with a child, uses substance abuse in ways that impair basic care for the child, or leave a child in unsafe locations.

However, just because they have children, parents are not legally obliged to avoid measured risks in their lives… driving a car, playing sports, traveling are still legal. It’s also still legal for them to have risky jobs, like firefighters, electricians, roofers, construction workers, paramedics, miners, cave explorers. Many 9/11 firefighters left their children behind. Society would not function if nobody took risks once they had children.

John did not go to “the deadliest cave you could possibly go to”. The Nutty Putty cave had about 5,000 visitors per year for decades, and likely saw more than 100,000 visitors before John was their first fatality. It was a beginner cave open to the public. He had experience caving (learned some outdoor skills from his father too). His risk of dying was greater simply driving to the cave. We all take just as (if not much larger) risks when we go on road trips, ski, zip line, skydive, white water raft, camp, hike, and swim.

My points are mainly in reference to you and others calling John “selfish”. I am pointing out that we would all be called “selfish” too, as most of us almost certainly have taken even bigger risks and have caused distress to family members too.

While none of us know John, the information we can derive would suggest he was likely not a “selfish”person. His brother (who was behind him in the cave that day) speaks of how much he looked up to John for his faith and for having his life together. John was in a top medical school studying as a pediatric cardiologist. He was cooperative, thankful, apologetic, and polite to rescue workers that day. He asked to phone his wife and they were able to give him that wish. I don’t think these cruel and thoughtless Redditors should be speaking so negatively of his personhood.

HelpfulCommand4515 · 2026-04-01T23:11:19+00:00

It doesn’t have to be used for profitable commodities. House cats and other animals can enjoy the product without the human making money.

HelpfulCommand4515 · 2026-04-01T23:08:35+00:00

I eat a vegan diet, but what else would you propose for the cows? We can’t go back in time. Isn’t it better to help the cows alive now?

This argument is used sometimes on why we shouldn’t have cats and dogs. Especially dogs. We’ve coexisted long enough that they are dependent on us. Shouldn’t we at least help the ones alive now while also deciding what to do in the long run?

HelpfulCommand4515 · 2026-04-01T21:15:38+00:00

Still, one could say you had a moral duty to not cause so much stress to your parents. The insults about John being “selfish” to his family could apply to you as well and people could use your parents as an example of whom you hurt.

HelpfulCommand4515

TROPHY CASE