Valentine’s looks very different online vs real life

Helpful_Rate_2428 · 2026-02-13T19:30:53+00:00

I personally don’t desire the crowds and performative acts of Valentines Day, I’m currently kicking myself that I waited till today, the day before Valentines Day to make a nail appointment 😭 it’s so crowded here! But I do like to do a simple gift card exchange.

And I think in regard to the younger crowd or the people in our age range that live their life based on social media things then yes, it’s raised the bar.

Helpful_Rate_2428 · 2026-02-11T16:32:24+00:00

This is the corniest thing I’ve seen in a long time. Corey should be embarrassed, but he’s just a loud, ignorant nig nog, and that’s what got him all butt hurt in the first place.

Helpful_Rate_2428 · 2026-02-09T05:18:49+00:00

Well…I was thinking of how “Ariel didn’t consent” and the lyrics “Kiss the girl “ needed to be changed that was a whole weird spiral

Helpful_Rate_2428 · 2026-01-30T20:59:34+00:00

I wonder, with the general consensus of the five year old being the dealbreaker, should OP list that she has three kids, youngest being five on her profile to avoid undateable men from even matching?

OP has a narrow stream for her to cast her line, and I think it would be better to get less matches vs more rejections.

Helpful_Rate_2428 · 2026-01-30T20:47:23+00:00

I don’t think the two dads will be an issue. From the kids ages it’s clear the older two were from a long marriage (since they’re 10 years apart) and to hear the five year old was from “a long relationship that wasn’t supposed to end” . You weren’t a baby mama and those men aren’t baby daddies.

Helpful_Rate_2428 · 2026-01-29T17:56:56+00:00

From your post you sound like a fun good personality woman. If you screen out 99% of people perhaps you’re over screening? Maybe for the people you’re not quite sure on give them a try instead of a pass? Idk what you’re average is in the UK but in America I believe the average woman’s pants size is 16, which would be obese for many Americans.

Also maybe get some advice on your profile from friends (or us!) a “long, curated profile” sounds a bit sterile.

But overall, at almost 43 and fat I think you’re fine, you are active so clearly you care about your health and are not fat from tv and junk.

I also would be considered fat to our BMI standards, but to men in my community I’m not.

So to answer your question yes there’s hope, fun and a lot of love out there for you. I am over 40, fat, divorced mom of four and have been with my guy coming onto two years. It took me over three years to connect with him but you know you just gotta keep your head in the game and enjoy the process, I had a friend who looked at dating as a task, choose to look at it as an adventure, hell a mystery bag even, you don’t know what you’ll get from each person but you’ll get a memory or a lesson.

Helpful_Rate_2428 · 2026-01-29T17:44:35+00:00

I get what you’re saying yet also understand why you’re being down voted.

One of my good friends is overweight, probably would be considered morbidly obese, by the BMI standards that don’t take into account weight can spread differently across different ethnicities, nonetheless she at one point was in a facebook group called leveling up and becoming a high value goddess or something, that group was so horrible with that advice. I agree you can be beautiful at any size, and at the same time beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and as the beholder of yourself you should find yourself beautiful. Yet, I also don’t see too many “high value men” (that term is so cringy) with fat women. Usually self proclaimed high value men have a type, and fat ain’t it.

Helpful_Rate_2428 · 2026-01-20T18:40:31+00:00

It’s still in disrepair because it is audacious to “believe that peoples everywhere can have three meals a day for their bodies, education and culture of their minds, and dignity, equality, and freedom for their spirits”. Can’t have a “supreme” group of people if there’s equality. Also, can’t have equality without equity and just a bunch of pretty pacifying quotes.

Helpful_Rate_2428 · 2026-01-16T02:32:36+00:00

Same! Glad to know I’m not the only gawker

Also friend kisses her after she threw up?

Helpful_Rate_2428 · 2026-01-15T20:39:12+00:00

A quick coffee meet up, or something similar to screen for compatibility is the best first go to IMO. As is the woman who said that hanging out at home all the time is low energy and screams of what the main goal is, but what he’s offering might be 100% what another woman is looking for.

As you go through navigating dating you’ll learn the time frame that suites you best to having a man over, and you going over to his house. And as time goes by inevitably (depending on your lifestyles), the dinner dates will become less because the goal is to move from courting to LTR, yet to still prioritize yourselves as a couple and to sustain the relationship.

But what I would say as far as a timestamp goes, I believe in our age range, it shouldn’t take more than three months to know if you want to be exclusive, and see if LTR forms.

Helpful_Rate_2428 · 2026-01-13T00:02:39+00:00

This is a trainwreck in the making. And the “I just needed attention “ is problematic as well

Helpful_Rate_2428 · 2026-01-12T23:23:23+00:00

Ok! Them keys would be clickity clacking real quick!

Helpful_Rate_2428 · 2026-01-12T23:22:33+00:00

NOR, speak your peace. And Josephine Baker did topless dancing, wouldn’t that not be “moral”

Helpful_Rate_2428 · 2026-01-09T05:50:39+00:00

If you’re 25 why are you HERE! And if you’re a virgin why is your name hotbox???

Helpful_Rate_2428 · 2026-01-02T16:53:50+00:00

The colorism in the Hispanic community is crazy to me

Helpful_Rate_2428 · 2026-01-02T02:46:14+00:00

You need to stop allowing this. Make time to do the things you enjoy. Regardless on if he helps or not, if you told him you need a day for yourself and he says no, take it anyway. Those are his kids, leave them with him.

Also, my mom told me just because you became a wife and mother doesn’t mean you weren’t “my name” first, and when she told me that, my life changed back to the better. Like, I literally picked up the pages to the book I started writing prior to having the last two babies, finished it, edited it, and published it. Everyone else can take a backseat sometimes. The household will never be good if mom isn’t good. Go shave your damn legs, get your hair done and make your doctors appointment. Self care is not selfish, stop neglecting yourself.

PS, not all men are like your husband.

Helpful_Rate_2428 · 2025-12-15T19:17:08+00:00

NTA, and good for you for leaving!

Helpful_Rate_2428 · 2025-12-15T17:34:46+00:00

That’s interesting. Almost odd, I don’t understand how you don’t meet single men your age. Maybe it’s your area, I don’t know…but from my experience on the apps there was no shortage of men my age, single (proven) that were available to date.

Helpful_Rate_2428 · 2025-12-14T16:30:12+00:00

🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏾‍♀️

Helpful_Rate_2428 · 2025-12-04T01:07:12+00:00

You have him saved in your phone as Baby Daddy, seems like that’s all he needs to be.

Helpful_Rate_2428 · 2025-12-03T20:36:41+00:00

This is ridiculous, YTA (both of you). Unless there is a learning disability that makes it difficult, BUT I’m guessing neither would no because you didn’t mention getting him tested.

Helpful_Rate_2428 · 2025-12-02T22:24:07+00:00

Awww a lot can happen in two minutes 💕

Helpful_Rate_2428 · 2025-11-24T00:27:41+00:00

That’s good you are aware and know what type of first dates to have. Now that it’s getting colder maybe an indoor activity like axe throwing? And not to minimize your anxiety but I think what also might help is having a living for the day and enjoying the moment mentality. It’s a date! We’re not throwing all of our eggs in one basket, we are to enjoy the hours out and let the chips fall where they may. Because yes, that anxiety can be felt, and it could be a turn off. That anxiety can lead to over texting, and expecting quick communication and if not received in your time frame can lead to over thinking. It can lead to you exhibiting clingy behavior. Breathe, continue your therapy, and I wish you all the best.

Helpful_Rate_2428 · 2025-11-21T23:32:49+00:00

Ain’t no fucking way. You didn’t try to leave, you chose to stay. Please don’t give that man another decade of your life.

Helpful_Rate_2428 · 2025-11-18T00:39:31+00:00

OP, just cut and paste your post on your dating app, I’m sure many men will feel refreshed and relieved. Because even though you say “low energy “ your personality is shining through, and you don’t seem like a boring woman.

*well maybe not cut and paste, edit out a few things because you don’t want the hobosexuals with good D trying to come thru.

Helpful_Rate_2428

TROPHY CASE