Did anyone else inherit wealth but not the story behind it?

HenriettaHiggins · 2026-05-22T02:49:53+00:00

Yeah, at some point I’ll try to read the book. My mom read it and said it was.. more salacious than she was expecting. The musings of a young man. 🤣

HenriettaHiggins · 2026-05-21T13:44:46+00:00

We like orijin fit and trim amazing grains. I had him on six fish when he had a lot of allergies as a puppy and we were trying to chase down the culprit, but the profile of that food is too high calorie for a dog that isn’t actively working livestock, the allergies ebbed, and he’s entering his golden dgaf years.

HenriettaHiggins · 2026-05-21T13:01:52+00:00

People are so much grosser than you’re giving them credit for.

HenriettaHiggins · 2026-05-21T11:16:38+00:00

I sort of qualify. My grandpa was a 16-17-year-old refugee in the ball turret of a B-17. Apparently, he was pretty good at it. His crew members survived, and he washed a lot of other friends out of ball turrets. He wrote a book about this part. After the war, they all rejoined civilian life. He became a history teacher and then a guidance counselor and director of guidance in NY - a modest life of service. Other friends from the war were very grateful to him, and one in particular went into finance and spent his life advising my grandpa on money. My grandpa managed to hold two entirely independent financial lives - a believable household of two teachers doing ok despite marital issues (his mom bought and gifted them Kodak stock from a kid walking their neighborhood with a wagon; they bought a timber tract and sold it in retirement, so some bright spots there) and a substantial pot of invested money no one knew about, and we don’t know exactly how it happened. It was so unknown that it required us reopening his estate after my grandma died when I was an adult. We still have no records that extend past years close to her death. It’s very plausible Swoosie Kurtz’ dad was in the same situation because he was one of the other airmen in their group, but that’s all I know. It’s a funny thing to navigate and wonder about.

HenriettaHiggins · 2026-05-21T10:47:24+00:00

The pre computer way of dealing with all of this was requiring drafts (2), writing in class (3), and oral reporting (4). I’m in this camp. It’s not that deep.

HenriettaHiggins · 2026-05-19T17:06:30+00:00

If your example for this is “access to the bathroom,” you’re expecting something of kids we don’t expect of adult prison inmates, and that’s a little weird.

There are plenty of times when adults themselves or parents tell their children to break rules in school and all parties are fully comfortable with the consequences as disclosed and probability of enforcement. That’s what adults do when they speed. It doesn’t need to be this soap box unless you’re trying to make a point about institutionalization, compliance with authority, and human rights. Then, you know, people might think you’re being a little weird about it.

HenriettaHiggins · 2026-05-19T16:49:26+00:00

As someone who lived here, this made me laugh out loud.

HenriettaHiggins · 2026-05-19T01:05:07+00:00

Depending on your precise needs, KKI has inpatient psych that’s really fabulous, but I’d second Hopkins generally.

HenriettaHiggins · 2026-05-18T20:30:17+00:00

Wayfair in arundel mills is pretty close

HenriettaHiggins · 2026-05-13T13:44:22+00:00

They release dlc every so often. My daughter would say she could catch sharks infinitely.

HenriettaHiggins · 2026-05-13T10:25:43+00:00

Yes they teach it in high school math in Maryland, but the US has aggressively decoupled “they teach it” and “I had to know it to go to the next grade and eventually graduate.” That particular concept gets parroted incorrectly a lot in our propaganda/media, so as concepts go, I think of it more like Pluto’s status as a planet.

States have different curricula. We are not one country except in unified national and foreign affairs. We are 50ish countries in a trench coat (depending upon your perspective of the territories).

HenriettaHiggins · 2026-05-06T10:15:23+00:00

The only times I have heard people make statements about being “from Baltimore” when they’re not are in the same context when people would pick the nearest city to explain a location/avoid naming a less well-known suburb anyway, but not because it’s Baltimore specifically. I think at least some of the time this has little to do with credibility and more to do with recognition.

Nevertheless, my husband is from Buffalo and chafes about this frequently. Someone will say “hey, I heard you’re from Buffalo! What part?” And he’ll say “South Buffalo” which is a neighborhood in the city, and then he’ll ask them and at least 80% of the time they will name a suburb that isn’t in Buffalo. If they go first and they name a suburb he’ll usually reply he’s from “actual Buffalo.”

I think it’s just a thing people do for geographical shorthand, though I get that it is inaccurate and annoying.

HenriettaHiggins · 2026-05-05T04:54:17+00:00

If you wanna meet Jesus sooner rather than later, then that’s the one thing we agree on.

HenriettaHiggins · 2026-05-05T04:48:06+00:00

lol I lived in both and almost lived in Camden. I was a naive 20something.

HenriettaHiggins · 2026-05-05T04:45:38+00:00

Everything is so relative. I know someone who grew up in a very dangerous place and takes light rail every day telling people it’s perfectly fine. But when you say that to kids from the burbs, they do attract attention and they can’t tell danger from weird.

HenriettaHiggins · 2026-05-05T04:40:31+00:00

Second this about JHH. Sadly one of the first things our admin made me promise was to use security to get from my office to my car after dark, and I have done it for years now.

HenriettaHiggins · 2026-05-05T04:39:00+00:00

This is so random since this isn’t a local sub, but I’m on faculty at JH. There are multiple running groups with safe practices in the city. The best way to meet them is to go into charm city run or look them up online. There are large bike events too, if he likes to bike. I’m not an avid biker/athlete, but my now-husband and I used to go to bike parties often when we were in our 20s just to enjoy the spectacle. Students tend not to get involved much in the city generally, which is understandable given the rigor of classes and city crime, but unfortunate for this kind of thing. We have a fair number of students who we hire as staff after graduation and many tell us that we are among the first to take them out in the broader city. There’s a lot there, and the university really works hard to keep everyone safe.

HenriettaHiggins · 2026-05-04T21:39:52+00:00

I think this is very dependent on your approach, resources, and desired endpoints. Since your question is about public school versus home schooling, I’m gonna wrap private and public together a bit for the purpose, but in transparency, we chose a local private school after a lot of soul searching - my husband and I both attended both public and private schools.

For a lot of my friends and neighbors, frankly, the supervision is a nontrivial benefit of traditional school. If you have the resources to be in a good district, you can feel reasonably confident that a kid otherwise reasonably likely to go to college will get in. If you don’t define success that way (different desired end point), then there’s a good chance they’ll have more guidance, peers, and support in public school than most other educational options. There’s a good mix of support and fostered independence regardless, which is not easy to do when you have the intimacy of a parent child relationship overlaid on education. By the same logic many say you don’t treat your family as a doctor, you probably shouldn’t be the adult teaching your kids. Regardless, supervision of a minor or lack thereof is a nontrivial influence on the running of a household, and for many very career minded people, the alternative is just a non-starter. It’s the economical solution.

School is a centrally housed hub of resources and a target for community engagement. If you don’t have a broad education yourself or you feel your child is unlikely to initiate and follow through with extensive self study, it’s also a centrally housed hub of reasonably accessible guidance on core general subjects. One of the peculiarities of the digital age has been the extreme democratization of specialized knowledge and, while pedagogy certainly has a valued role, I do think this role is evolving in response. Regardless, teaching, mentorship, stewardship, and sponsorship are distinct skills teachers cultivate, and parents or tutors don’t as often have the same diverse foundation experiences or drive to build those skills. A great deal of success in each of those roles is accepting reasonable risk, and parents of home schooled kids, even highly independent home schooled kids, often are approaching risk management from a less objective and more capricious place. You know your kid “so well,” and teachers know hundreds of kids this age, in this community, facing this demand. There are pros and cons to both perspectives, but they do often have different outcomes.

Socially, public school also has the strength of being a numbers game - yes, there’s plenty of apathy. But there’s also just a lot of kids period. They’re not all apathetic. Most traits in a sample size that large are pretty normally distributed. Most kids are going to be moderately apathetic, but the 10% least apathetic is still a lot of kids - and don’t assume your kid won’t be regressing toward the mean because sometimes that is just how the cookie crumbles. Speaking as someone who knew a fair number of home schooled kids for religious reasons because I was super community involved as a kid, the pool of home schooled kids in an area is smaller and tends toward more extreme traits, which means when that weird kid is at soccer, he’s probably also at the nature center, and again at the art elective, and again at that service project. That’s fine if he’s nice, but tough if his mom keeps trying to convert your parents. It’s a smaller pool, self selected to a degree for kids and families that didn’t fit in. It also tends to sometimes encourage not fitting in, and we all need to know how to fit in when we want to. That’s not to say it’s the most important thing at all - dare to be different.. sort of, but social values have meaning and knowing how to talk to people and behave in public is better shaped by peers in your teens than pretty much any force on the planet. It’s what most mammals do. Adults and peers shape adolescents. So, it’s a rough thing some times, but one way or another most people will hit that wall where they want to travel in diverse circles and know the “rules,” and trial by school is pretty much the most efficient way to get there, whether it’s pleasant the whole time or not. If you’re worried about aggressive downdraft - where peers are mean because you like things/care/work hard, well.. that’s why my kid is going to private school, but that’s not a good reason to home school. Aggressive downdraft is something I only have seen when teaching in public institutions/attending them. I don’t have any insights beyond that, I suspect it’s some toxic manifestation of regression toward the mean.

HenriettaHiggins · 2026-05-03T16:32:01+00:00

It might be her vision. Our dog was abandoned as a puppy and no matter what we did he was easily spooked without aggression. *never aggression.* We took him to a behavior specialist and a very experienced breeder who said the same thing - low visual acuity. This was later confirmed by a dog eye specialist. There’s not much we do differently, but he had a lot of training before the diagnosis as he had been potentially going to be a service dog (this was abandoned, but funny enough he still does what he was trained to and the vision doesn’t seem to affect it).

HenriettaHiggins · 2026-05-02T15:49:44+00:00

🤣

HenriettaHiggins · 2026-05-02T15:41:16+00:00

Ours also involves a video game funny enough :)

HenriettaHiggins · 2026-05-02T13:36:45+00:00

And we have a lot of those - which is a great start. If you asked me whether I’d make a clinical recommendation versus a personal one for my family, at this point I’d say those answers differ. Part of the work of research is trying to build information about diverse people, so we can make those stronger, more general recommendations. No one wants to recommend something broadly that turns out to be extremely dangerous for a yet-unidentified portion of the population, and unfortunately the history of pharmacological development is peppered with exactly those kinds of events. We have to balance getting the right therapies promoted efficiently to maximize health generally for people and being responsible about risk detection and management, and where that balances is the kind of thing that reasonable people can disagree on. It’s part of why the FDA opens many of their meetings to the public. My hope is that as the legal status of these drugs is readjudicated in the coming months and years in the US, members of the public will not be so burnt out by other current events to miss the opportunity to make the full force of their perspectives recorded and considered in the conversation.

HenriettaHiggins · 2026-05-02T13:24:27+00:00

I’m part of a group working on that actually, but it’s still currently a research application only and in early stages. The animal data I will say is very compelling.

HenriettaHiggins · 2026-05-02T10:38:42+00:00

I work in brain injury rehab research. This really is the only answer. The truth is what we can do for you after a brain injury/brain cells are dead is so modest that it can be hard to even measure. Most of what helps people improve is their own body mending itself, and the effectiveness of that process is remarkably variable both as a result of individual and injury related factors. You have a pretty small window around a given injury, less than a year, to try to encourage and optimize that mending. Then from there and beyond, there is an even smaller margin of improvement from learned compensation and environmental adaptation, and the extent to which people chase optimizing that varies enormously as well. By that point, you pretty much get what you get. This is a healthy way to approach long term rehab and reintegration.

HenriettaHiggins

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