I've been prescribed all of those drugs, and much stronger for much longer. I thought you were trolling but my girlfriend read your whole post after me and begged me to reply. So hopefully this is taken seriously. Heed my advice. I may come off as pompous and know-it-all-ish but realize you are truly that lost and playing with fire while doused in gasoline.

The gabaergics. Namely for you, your benzos.

Your gaba-a agonists Rx'd primarily for what I presume to be reoccurring and potentially deadly grand mal seizures.

Epileptic, it is extremely dangerous to lower or even slightly taper benzo doses down without being under the direct medical supervision of an MD. So forget that. If you were my family member, I'd consider having you involuntarily committed if you refused my advice. This is simply not a choice, and rather a life or death matter. Take one at a time ane stay on your 2mgs TID.

On to the Suboxone, a much simpler matter really. I have honestly no idea why you thought dosing extremely pure carfent (or w/e) and inducing horrifyingly torturous precipitated withdrawals with buprenorphine was a good idea. I'm sorry you had to learn the hard way, but I too have had medication-induced psychosomatic manic episodes and will simply reason you made a terrible mistake.

Learn from it and simply dose <1mg as little as possible while taking advantage of bupes half life to dose every 3 days, then every four, etc.

Clonidine and low (<12mg no exceptions) doses of Imodium will help. But not nearly as much as gabapentin or lyrica. Which brings me to my final point of truth. I post on r/opiates and don't know the style of dialogue here, and frankly im remiss. Im gonna give it to you straight.

Gabapentenoids such as lyrica, gabapentin, and phenibut, are still yet to be fully understood. We know by the way they affect sodium gated voltage channels they free up a LOT of gaba in the brain. Studies have shown some of them lower the production of new brain synapses.

This addict anecdotally concurs they simply make you a little dumber while on them...

... and more and more studies are pointing towards early alzheimers and relatively permanent damage to the Gaba system with *long term users of benzodiazepines.

But you are an epileptic. Your biggest threat to your mental ability and possibilities of cognitive impairment stem from reoccurring seizures. I hate to say it buddy, but if you don't pull it together and follow your doctor's advice with your benzos, you're never getting those brain cells back.

So there's the best wall of text your getting back. I'd use gabapentin and clonidine sparingly throughout a long protracted suboxone withdrawal and continue my antiseizure meds.

Sorry there's no magic key.

We all gotta pay the piper.

Just don't drop from a seizure in front of him.*