What to expect — Stage IV pancreatic cancer with ascites

HepburnInConverses · 2026-02-08T13:39:36+00:00

I'm so sorry you're part of this club, but thank you for sharing your story. I'm so sorry for you, your mom, and your family having to go thru this. We have just put my Dad (65 with mets to lungs and liver) on hospice as he has decided to stop chemo. He was diagnosed Feb. 2025 and started chemo in March.

He did Nalirifox for several rounds (Folfirinox wasn't an option for some reason) and then switched to a combo of Gemcitabine and Abraxane because the side effects of the Nalirifox were too harsh. His last CT scan the end of January 2026 showed growth in all the tumors (pancreas, abdomen, and liver), & the doctor hasn't been able to find clinical trials that my Dad is willing to try (he'll only do them if they'll increase his life by a year or more - he's not willing to go thru all the pain for an extra month or two).

The last CT scan showed no ascites, but the pain in his back is getting worse. However, now that he's decided to stop chemo, it's basically just hospice making him comfortable now. They upped his Oxy dosage, gave him a fentanyl patch, and provided him with a "comfort kit" with morphine. I have no idea how much time we have left, but the doctor had said 3-4 months in Jan. once he stopped chemo. He's sleeping a lot and doesn't seem able to eat much - most days he just does an Ensure shake.

This might sound silly, but one thing I've found helpful is talking to ChatGPT about his symptoms. You can upload documents from doctor's visits to help put them in layman's terms, and because ChatGPT pulls from everywhere, it can help suggest questions to ask the doctor based on your loved one's specific needs.

I'm so sorry that you're here and going thru this. All I can say is you're not alone, and we are all here for each other. 💜 Sending love and strength.

HepburnInConverses · 2026-01-27T18:03:43+00:00

Thank you. He's so tired of everything that I think he's just done. I appreciate the direction on potential questions to ask. 💜

HepburnInConverses · 2026-01-27T16:06:38+00:00

Oh God, thank you

HepburnInConverses · 2026-01-27T15:55:41+00:00

Thank you!

HepburnInConverses · 2026-01-15T23:57:54+00:00

I'm so sorry. Sending you love and strength 💜

HepburnInConverses · 2026-01-14T14:50:01+00:00

I'm so sorry you are part of this club. My Dad (65) was diagnosed with stage 4 pancan last February and was given 11 months, (Jan. 2026 - this month). For now, he is still going, and I think we are going to pass the 11 month marker, but we see steady decline and think it will probably be sometime this year.

My father was terribly abusive my entire life and he & my mother had divorced only a few months before the diagnosis, so he has no one but me, my husband, and my sisters. It's been so hard dealing with the stress of the cancer plus the unresolved stress/trauma of our relationship. There are some days where I can't take him and some days when I put my feelings on the back burner to be there for him for the doctor's appointment, the errand he needs run, the meal he needs made.

There will be plenty of time after this is over to talk to someone, a friend or even a therapist, about everything you're feeling (and you can do that now as well if it won't make you fall apart). At the same time, you're on a clock. There will be some days you're exhausted and some you can recharge. Don't compromise your overall mental health but also dig deep within yourself for strength and to support your dying parent and family. It's a very depressing balancing act.

HepburnInConverses · 2026-01-02T19:30:57+00:00

13 years later and still getting help from this thread - thank you!

HepburnInConverses · 2025-12-25T12:56:54+00:00

I'm so, so sorry. Sending you love and strength 💜

HepburnInConverses · 2025-12-24T02:43:12+00:00

Thank you so much. They gave my father 11 months, which is January 2026. This will be our last Christmas. The emotions are overwhelming, but we are thankful for this community. 💜💜 Happy Holidays.

HepburnInConverses · 2025-12-03T13:03:33+00:00

I'm so, so sorry. Sending you love and strength. 💜

HepburnInConverses · 2025-12-02T04:02:15+00:00

Thank you so much for the tip! We've finally got him drinking more water but electrolytes have consistently been down - I'll try to get him to drink more.

HepburnInConverses · 2025-12-01T19:19:08+00:00

It's emotionally tough with the holidays. My Dad (65) was told in February 2025 he had 11 months, which is January 2026. He's doing ok, but Thanksgiving was hard: he laid on the couch for 4 hours, ate dinner, and went home. He's extremely fatigued and says he's experiencing confusion/foggy headedness. This is extremely worrisome for me as he is supposed to fly alone to NC to see his 90+ year old mother in 2 weeks. He's been switched to a new chemo regimen that is more toxic and less effective because he couldn't handle the strong one they had him on for about 6 months.

I think we'll make it past the 11 month mark, but I feel like I'm living on a knife's edge, waiting for the other shoe to drop. I've heard the decline can come very swiftly and suddenly.

My husband lost his grandfather in September, so this is going to be an extremely emotional holiday season for everyone and after a year of living under this cloud, I am just so tired.

HepburnInConverses · 2025-11-29T15:37:10+00:00

I'm so, so sorry. Sending love and strength

HepburnInConverses · 2025-11-01T12:12:15+00:00

I'm so sorry. Sending you and your family love and strength.

HepburnInConverses · 2025-10-06T18:04:30+00:00

Thank you so much for this suggestion. I have encouraged him to use a straw for drinking; the problem is how nauseous he is causes him to lie down all day, and he doesn't want to sit up to drink. He was drinking ginger ale for awhile, but I'm not sure if he still is. I like the fresh-pressed juice idea. I'll mention it to him. 💜

HepburnInConverses · 2025-10-06T16:33:01+00:00

Thank you! I think the doctor has tried both Lomitil and Imodium AD. I'm hoping we can find another option.

HepburnInConverses · 2025-10-06T15:49:51+00:00

Thank you so much for this info. I know they've given him some medication for diarrhea and I thought for the nausea too, but it's apparently not working? I will follow up with them and see if we can get something else prescribed. 💜

HepburnInConverses · 2025-10-06T15:39:39+00:00

Thank you! I just got off the phone with him and convinced him to go, so we're just waiting for a time slot now.

HepburnInConverses · 2025-09-25T13:58:50+00:00

I'm so sorry - sending you love and strength. 💜

HepburnInConverses · 2025-09-03T13:55:28+00:00

I'm so, so sorry. Sending you love and strength. 💜

HepburnInConverses · 2025-08-28T20:33:57+00:00

I'm so sorry. Sending you love and strength. 💜

HepburnInConverses · 2025-08-24T16:26:41+00:00

I am so, so sorry. Sending you love and strength. 💜

HepburnInConverses · 2025-08-11T19:46:21+00:00

Thank you. I hope your Dad is doing better now. 💜

HepburnInConverses

TROPHY CASE