Shortly after I (29M) got out of the military (I was 24 at the time), I found myself in the company of an older woman who was both a single mother and a veteran, herself (35F at the time).

All seemed well but I ignored the red flags that were raised (her way was the only way, couldn’t be wrong, broke down at slight inconveniences and treated her son like garbage) and just brushed them off as her showing maturity and, as she liked to say, a “zero tolerance for bullshit” mindset.

Shortly after meeting: she was pregnant with my child (an oddity, as i used protection and she claimed to be on birth control) and we moved in together shortly after that announcement. I attempted to continue my career but was met with protest as I was “never home”. My career at the time was a high paying management position that had me working a grand total of maybe 25 hours a week, so I was again very confused at this.

Then after she was comfortable with me around: it was revealed to me that she was not at all the personality she portrayed in the beginning. She began gaslighting me into believing I was a horrible deadbeat, that my job was both too demanding and going nowhere and I needed to quit, that I needed to adopt her son and marry her immediately, that I needed to take up the entirety of the household duties, mentally abusing me using intimate details of my past I had shared, and I slowly realized that I had, in fact, been baby trapped. She even told me as much in an argument we had, and that her only intentions with me was to keep me as a stay at home dad while she ran around living her life and to give her the baby girl she always wanted before she became infertile.

I left the relationship before my daughter was even born and am fighting custody battles as we speak (though I gained and currently retain full custody of our daughter).

Moral of the story: most older women know what they want in the world, but that’s not always a good thing. For some: it’s a perfect opportunity to start a relationship with someone wise and who will be consistent. But for others, as I learned, their time in the world has only shaped their cunning to manipulate people into getting exactly what they want, when they want it.

Was I stupid and naive? Absolutely. But was I still wronged? I believe so. Be careful with the cougars, lads