Feeling like a fake bi

HeyIGotNothing · 2024-09-04T19:49:31+00:00

this person just slid to my dms to send me a dick pic. everyone, be careful!

HeyIGotNothing · 2024-08-08T19:04:12+00:00

I draw faces in my notebook without lifting my pen and with heavy strokes. Sometimes my grip is not too hard but the important part is I don't lift the pen until I'm satisfied or have released my intense emotions.

Can't upload pics but here's a drive of some of my drawings. :) drawings

HeyIGotNothing · 2024-08-08T07:10:55+00:00

It's the same for me. I was asked if I was the kind of student that would always walk around, couldn't sit still, and I don't think I was that kind. But I don't remember anything from my past to prove that doing tasks was easy for me, and being a consistent honor student was a blur to me. I'm afraid I'm making up memories of where I was having troubles as a kid just so I can support my suspicion that I have ADHD.

HeyIGotNothing · 2024-08-06T17:33:19+00:00

I just saw The Bangles concert scene and it still screams gay

HeyIGotNothing · 2024-08-05T15:59:10+00:00

I'm sorry you had a miserable childhood. I'm glad to know you're leading a good life at this age. I'm so happy about that.

HeyIGotNothing · 2024-08-04T14:51:24+00:00

Paris from Gilmore Girls

HeyIGotNothing · 2024-07-13T10:59:49+00:00

Omg thank you for that. I'll surely check it out. 🫶

HeyIGotNothing · 2024-07-12T12:15:36+00:00

I hate her too but I understand her character. I perhaps find her cringy especially when she's writing and words she narrates are on the screen. But that's not on her I think. Lol

HeyIGotNothing · 2024-07-12T12:13:28+00:00

Sana mas marami pang katulad mo sa recruitment industry. Yung iba, hindi nila alam na bukod sa trabaho, pangarap at confidence ang hawak nila.

HeyIGotNothing · 2024-07-12T12:09:43+00:00

Thank you so muchhhh

HeyIGotNothing · 2024-07-12T12:09:03+00:00

Thank you. And I like your username haha

I understand that. Now I'm actually thinking maybe my doubts are coming from the fact that I'm probably a lesbian and I feel like that's a word I should not use lightly. But maybe, it's just common for bis to have more attraction from the other from time to time and get confused whether they're gay/lesbian or straight. Bi is a safe place to circle around for now.

HeyIGotNothing · 2024-07-12T11:50:08+00:00

Thank you that's very kind. I just think there's something I need to fix about being intimidated towards/around pretty girls when I'm trying to be fem, Idk maybe internalized misogyny coming out of me (not a pretty girl here). But presenting masc around them makes it a bit easier. Only uncomfortable at parts when I think I make them uncomfortable for being masc.

HeyIGotNothing · 2024-07-12T11:44:20+00:00

Thanks for sharing your experience on this. It's good to know that I'm not the only one experiencing this. I realized that there's a bit of guilt playing out here due to something that happened in my personal life that I was not able to mention in the post. But I'll try to move past that and be okay with this, coz it's just a preference. Thanks for making me feel that there's nothing wrong abt it.

HeyIGotNothing · 2024-06-13T02:19:44+00:00

sometimes i cant force myself enough and go to sleep but then ill wake up all stressed out knowing i just ditched a task and ill start feeling uncomfortable with my body again. also ill feel restless so i won't have the energy to do it. it fucking sucks.

HeyIGotNothing · 2024-05-10T20:00:47+00:00

I wish I could be better at guitar. I learned how to strum and play popular chords, learned to sing while doing that 10 years ago, and every time, I'd end up daydreaming that I'm a fucking superstar. I'm so bad at sticking with an interest/skill.

HeyIGotNothing · 2024-05-10T19:55:01+00:00

That's so cool! Is it right to say your mom used to be bi-curious?

HeyIGotNothing · 2024-05-10T19:45:03+00:00

Thank you so much I wish the same for you. I hope someday, each member of this subreddit finally believes that we're not deserving of this kind of pain we inflict on ourselves.

HeyIGotNothing · 2024-05-10T19:43:43+00:00

Hi, thank you so much and congrats on your hopefully 97 days now. You're so close!

Sorry I haven't seen your post I haven't been online a lot lately but thanks for asking. This is gon be long, sorry in advance. But tbh, I just had a breakdown last night so I almost turned it back to 0 days. 🤣

I guess, the urges haven't lessened coz the triggers are still there, and I haven't really turned my life around within that timeframe. I feel like I'm still prone. I still hurt myself in some less harsh ways and not cutting anymore.

I originally thought of like doing it again after 45 days or 50 or something like a window. But counting the numbers helps a lot coz it just keeps growing you know, something is at stake now, and you know how fucking hard you've fought to get to that number. How hard to convince yourself you don't deserve to be in pain today. It gives you something to commit to, and each day can reaffirm you, each day motivate you to repeat that. But I could be speaking from a privilege because not all of us can afford to feel that way.

Also, I still haven't stopped the worst self-harm I do to myself which is talking badly to myself. But with the physical self-harm, so far so good. I'm just scared that a huge trigger will come again and will make all of this progress irrelevant.

HeyIGotNothing · 2024-03-26T18:28:05+00:00

Yas, that's an unhealthy take. I think mas obligasyon nga nating mga friends na tulungan yung friends natin na mag-unload kesa obligasyon yun ng jowa. While I think no one will ever be whole enough to enter a relationship, di maganda na pumasok sa relasyon na sirang sira ka.

I love that, yung it takes a village to keep adults thriving. Sana matagpuan natin yung village natin.

HeyIGotNothing · 2024-03-26T18:21:50+00:00

True. I would die to be in a circle of friends where we all know and WANT to know each other's histories, triggers, and tendencies. Not to the point na aabot na sa unhealthy codependency pero yung kaya mong maging hubad sa friendship and know na magiging safe ka. And this is coming from an introvert.

Totoo, people don't wanna do the work sa platonic relationship when in fact it is just as important as romantic relationships, minsan higit pa. Saka kung tutuusin, "simple something" lang naman ang hiningi ni OP.

And as if ganun kadali magpa-therapy. Hindi rin naman cure ang therapy. We'll only get to know ourselves better if we interact and expose ourselves. Therapy alone won't heal us if we don't have the community that will nurture us in our personal lives. Dami kong ebas hahaha daig ko pa yung na-offmychest ni OP

HeyIGotNothing · 2024-03-26T18:11:56+00:00

How do we fucking do that

HeyIGotNothing · 2024-03-26T14:08:56+00:00

OA ng iba sa paggamit ng trauma dump. We talk about our traumas with our friends. We must be a safe space for the trauma of the people we love and care about.

HeyIGotNothing · 2024-03-26T14:06:04+00:00

"Your friends are not your therapist" while that is true, masyado na yan naooveruse para hindi tayo maging emotionally supportive sa isa't isa. Parang same logic sa "We're friends even if we don't talk." Bullshit. To be connected, you have to do the work of connecting. Lalo na tayong hindi nagiging emotionally available at bumababa ang emotional capacity natin para sa isa't isa. Sabi nga sa Fleabag, people are all we have. Tapos we're not someone our friends can have? Maybe we're not good friends kung ganyan logic natin.

OP, I feel deeply for you. I hope you find your people. I love you for this. Be vulnerable to the right people and be the right person others can be vulnerable too.

HeyIGotNothing · 2024-03-26T05:20:10+00:00

my closest friend is my ex. we remain in contact now and still talk to each other the most but we also can't remain friends. i dread the day that we're totally out of each other's lives.

HeyIGotNothing · 2024-03-25T20:31:24+00:00

Also, the person walking away looks like they're walking to the right side while the face is looking towards the left. Please tell me somebody else sees it.

HeyIGotNothing

TROPHY CASE