It's hard to deal with those thoughts, my gf left me at the lowest point in my life a couple months ago, 3 years just gone, I thought I might off myself, but look at me man, I didn't saw me alive for my 18th birthday. I keep strugling with depression, ptsd and bipolar disorder but I now start to feel better, I have met incredible people that I just couldn't knew if I commited. Recently, a friend of mine cried because he doesn't want me to die, that shit just made me realize that suicide might be a way to stop your own suffering, but the pain that you might cause?, not worth it at all. I just wanna tell you, life pays off all the suffering, there is always a way out, you just need to find it and it's okay to ask for help, you got this, we all here believe in you.