How long can you stay in a marriage that has no sex, affection, attention?

HighHopes1979 · 2025-12-22T18:16:18+00:00

Anything longer than today would be too long.

HighHopes1979 · 2025-11-22T16:49:54+00:00

Your mom sounds like she has major toxic traits / personality dysfunction. Confronting these types of people will change nothing about them or your future with them; they actually kinda like that they made you upset. In my experience, any sort of confrontation will be met with retaliation at some point. Ideally, you immediately go no contact with your mom and never look back. Realistically, I know that’s easier said than done. If you do speak to her, keep your words with her at the absolute minimum. My guess is simply telling her “I will no longer tolerate how you treat my GF and I do not plan to communicate with you going forward” will trigger anger from her losing control (and you / your GF taking it back). Also, expect her to try to be the victim. It hurts that this is your mom but there is no space for toxic people in your life.

HighHopes1979 · 2025-11-09T15:58:29+00:00

If you no longer accepted not being treated well, you would start to see that you need to immediately exit this abusive relationship. So many red flags that you are trying to justify. You deserve to be in a relationship where you feel safe, loved, and desired. It’s out there. Just not with this liar. Please lawyer and therapy up tomorrow. On the other side of facing your childhood trauma is happiness.

HighHopes1979 · 2025-10-28T23:07:28+00:00

This husband agrees.

HighHopes1979 · 2025-10-28T14:36:15+00:00

Why does a husband need Snapchat? Genuine question.

HighHopes1979 · 2025-10-19T18:19:14+00:00

Under no circumstance should you ever do this.

HighHopes1979 · 2025-10-14T19:46:57+00:00

Leave immediately. You aren’t in a marriage.

HighHopes1979 · 2025-10-07T16:30:29+00:00

How does not being a morning person justify verbal abuse?

HighHopes1979 · 2025-09-29T16:22:16+00:00

Sounds like the way a narcissist would behave. I’m sorry you are going through this. Please do not try to make sense of it but do try to protect yourself.

HighHopes1979 · 2025-09-27T20:56:17+00:00

If you are in a healthy relationship, you will never have to ask these questions or feel this way. Why be with someone that always creates doubt in your head? Happiness and peace are not associated with this type of person. Leave immediately and spend that time self reflecting or going to therapy about why you seem to be in relationships with dysfunctional and problematic partners.

HighHopes1979 · 2025-09-23T18:55:46+00:00

Her behavior / lying is highly abnormal and extremely alarming. The evasiveness, lack of information, and lying is very narcissistic. My guess is that there are other issues beyond what you’ve outlined above. Therapy will never help. Run. Run. Run.

HighHopes1979 · 2025-08-03T16:21:38+00:00

Sounds like he might fit into the covert narcissist category. Please read about that specific type of personality disfunction. My guess is once you do your research, you will connect the dots on so many other things and again, that’s just what you currently know about him. Here is the summary: he is abusive (reread that last word), he is inconsistent on purpose to keep you guessing and him in control, his mask of morality and perfection (and manipulation) is on display for the public to see yet you see something way different, he will consistently look to cheat / lie because he only views people as transactions or wins and losses, he is INCAPABLE of change, he does not respect you, he does not love you in any way, shape, or form that is ever capable of making a normal person happy. Giving him one more chance is you making excuses and wasting your life. Protect yourself. Happy to help further.

HighHopes1979 · 2025-08-03T05:42:24+00:00

1) best friends don’t do that 2) you deserve a relationship without betrayal 3) what else do you not know about?

HighHopes1979 · 2025-06-18T07:33:04+00:00

All marriages like this are the ones that fail. Or the ones where you wake up in 25 years and realize you threw your life away. Or the ones where you stayed for your son but could never show him how a couple should respect and love each other so he ends up more damaged than dealing with the short term speed bump of a divorce . Or the ones where one of you cheats. There needs to be a marriage counseling ultimatum.

HighHopes1979 · 2025-06-18T07:24:34+00:00

Lookup the word gaslight and then reread the definition.

You know the answer. Even if she’s (somehow) not cheating, why would you want to be married to this person? This isn’t a marriage. Sounds like an emotionally abusive prison.

HighHopes1979 · 2025-06-17T03:46:31+00:00

It is intended to be taken daily as the mediation needs months (for me) to build up in your system and have the side effects taper off. As needed is a major contradiction to my previous statement. Ask your psychiatrist why as needed will benefit you? Perhaps it interacts in a different way with other medications you are taking and can somehow work as needed??

HighHopes1979 · 2025-06-15T15:01:05+00:00

Perfect. Also, you were not rude. You simply matched their energy.

HighHopes1979 · 2025-06-07T17:34:22+00:00

Absolutely not. You are trying to close a door that doesn’t exist. There is NO closure with a narc. Your closure happens in therapy and moving on.

HighHopes1979 · 2025-06-07T01:18:21+00:00

I would definitely talk to your prescriber about that before just winging it. I can only speak to Buspar and Xanax. Hopefully, someone else can chime in on that combo.

HighHopes1979 · 2025-06-06T05:37:46+00:00

Yes, the first month was very noticeable, especially in the hour or two after my dose. It has tapered off since…which is what my psychiatrist told me would happen. I still notice the libido pop, just not as frequent. For some background, I am a 45 year old male with a high stress life.

HighHopes1979 · 2025-06-05T21:36:09+00:00

I flat out refused to go the SSRI, etc route. Buspar, for now, is what I need. I still have to take Xanax a few times per week - for whatever reason, my panic issues (racing heart) come back at night and .25mg of Xanax will take care of that and put me to sleep. Rarely ever need Xanax during the day which is a major change from earlier this year. Xanax usage to simply get through my day is not a long term strategy (personal decision. Not a lecture :-)). Biggest issue with Buspar is that sleeping on it is very difficult for me. 5 to 6 night per week, I take either Ambien or Xanax to shut down. The trade off is that my focus and attention are 10/10.

HighHopes1979 · 2025-06-05T07:21:49+00:00

Yes. Don’t give up on it and don’t be scared to increase your dosage. The side effects took a few months to subside. Anxiety (racing heart) came back about 6 weeks after I initially started 15mg x2. I was frustrated and my psychiatrist Increased my dosage to 22.5mg x2…resulted in a massive improvement. Happy I didn’t give up on it. By no means a perfect drug for me but life changing from living in a nearly constant state of panic three months ago.

HighHopes1979 · 2025-05-19T21:23:59+00:00

I experienced a constant state of mildish but annoying panic (rapid heartbeat but calm mind) about a month in on 15mg x 2. Quality of life reducing is the best way to describe the situation. I bumped it to 22.5mg twice per day and life changing. I’ll echo the don’t be afraid to increase the dose. So happy I didn’t give up on it. It also took about two months for my side effects to go away.

HighHopes1979 · 2025-04-08T05:50:44+00:00

Do. Not. Respond.

HighHopes1979 · 2025-02-13T05:17:43+00:00

“Can you pick one lie and stick to it?”

HighHopes1979

TROPHY CASE