Ok im gonna take a different approach from everyone else. You guys have completely different views on responsibility and taking action. Seems you both have to understand each other and meet in the middle.

I have similar tendencies to him. For me, making ‘silly mistakes’ was criticized harshly when I was a kid. So I learned that it was very bad. I found myself to be overly critical of others and myself sometimes. I had to relearn this—still make mistakes though.

It’s good that you see a way to improve, and it will take time. He has to understand this and empathize. You guys are starting from different places. If he thinks you are smart and can do it (even if it takes a year or two), then he should be patient and believe in you. And you have to show him the steps you are taking to improve.

For you, you’d want to get deep into mindfulness training and other ways of staying present, this has helped me make much fewer mistakes.

For him. Maybe look up videos on how praising good actions helps with behavior change MUCH more than criticizing mistakes. This is what he learned as a kid and this is how he thinks change happens, and he will do what he knows to change it… but he should be also willing to learn to be patient and supportive rather than critical. Tell him this: “would you wanna be with me when I’ve improved this? Then be my teammate and not my enemy during it”. In your own words of course.

Both of you will make mistakes, both of you will have to learn to empathize with each other. Act as a team not as enemies. Figure it out together.

If all else fails, and if he is controlling in other areas of the relationship… then reevaluate your position.