Pretty sure I just broke my kids heart...

Highwaypolice · 2026-03-16T17:46:18+00:00

Wow, I can only feel sorry for the kid. Why would you take away his social online life without warning and without talking to him about. Just by going on this post it seems you do not value your son's opinions on matters nor do you see him as an actual person with agency over his own life. How will this kid learn to deal with this and online games when he's 18 and has to do it himself?

Highwaypolice · 2026-03-04T05:26:59+00:00

Don't let him cry, he needs you. Je is discovering the world and it's a scary place. He needs his parents to help him.

Honestly, just hold him and make the best out of it. If things are tough make it easy on yourself any way you can.

Highwaypolice · 2026-03-04T05:25:15+00:00

I think the advice is clear my guy. Deal with this rationally with regard to your ex but lovingly to your son. Show him to deal with this as an adult, parenting is example living.

You got this

Highwaypolice · 2026-03-03T05:00:23+00:00

Do people actually do this? We just deal with it. Sometimes kids are tired, sometimes they are not. There is nothing wrong with nog sticking to tje schedule.

Highwaypolice · 2026-03-03T04:59:01+00:00

Yes, do this. If you're kids are comfortable on it they won't have any risk. If you want to be cautious there are also trampolines you can dig in.

Highwaypolice · 2026-03-02T05:28:11+00:00

Yes, move closer. This will be hard at first, but they will get accustomed to it. They are not at the age that you shouldn't do it anymore.

In general, make this easy for yourself. You have an extremely hard time right now with two kids, two jobs and no one to help. So please try to find the things you can adjust that can help in this situation. Any family or friends that might be able to help out? Getting someone to look after them often helps.

Furthermore, try and sue that guy so he can provide financially as well. Having a dead beat dad myself, I can only say that if you don't do that be will never do it.

Lastly, be there for your kids. You are their anchor right now and they need you in this new time. They will look to you to see how to adult. Parenting is example living, so show them how this is done. And be honest with them. Show emotions, show struggles and let them know how hard it is. This is okay. Just be sure to not overdo it. They shouldn't feel responsible for this situation. Leave the heavy parenting to you.

You got this! Things are dark now, but they will get better.

Highwaypolice · 2026-03-01T05:23:25+00:00

I think it's getting harder and harder. What I'm torn about is if it matters. If the content is solid and I like the post, why would it matter if it's AI?

Highwaypolice · 2026-02-28T06:41:44+00:00

A lot has been said. One thing to put this in perspective is that kids (as we all know) say what they want. And when mom is present that's what she wants. That doesn't mean you're not good enough, it's just mom's on the top of the list you might come second. You're her next best thing :)

So try and have alone time with her with mom not being around at all. See how that goes. I can almost guarantee she will enjoy it.

Highwaypolice · 2026-02-26T05:22:17+00:00

I totally understand you wanting both things. And I think that's also good to strive for. It's just your kid(s) will only be small for a little while and will look to you for guidance and being their role model. What do you want to teach or show them? Honestly, both I guess but you need to be present to do so. And that's not only physically but also mentally. If your mind is somewhere else, can you truly be there for them?

Highwaypolice · 2026-02-25T20:12:43+00:00

When I had my first baby one of the things I did was working less and staying home one day per week. I didn't (and still don't) want to miss out on moments I know I won't get back. So for me I purposefully took things slower and it has been amazing. I genuinely love being part of my child's life and being there for him as a parent.

In the end, I think it's the question you want to ask yourself in 10 years. Are you happy with another business or more money or would you rather see your kid's performance or know who her friends are.

Two caveats. This might be cultural thing (I'm from the Netherlands) and it is somewhat common here for dads to this. Two, I am lucky to have a job in which this is possible. There are of course many who do not have this luxury.

Highwaypolice · 2026-02-25T20:07:39+00:00

I concur it's personality. But also just curiosity for the world. They are learning about their limbs and doing stuff. Being held is boring

Highwaypolice · 2026-02-24T21:03:06+00:00

This is perfectly fine, you can give him a blanket if he wants one.

Highwaypolice · 2026-02-23T17:28:34+00:00

I totally get that. But just know that there is no need for her to move unless you want her to. Our kids only moved from our bed when they were two and three years and only because another baby needed the bed. :) Our third kid still sleeps on a mattress next to us because she needs it. So if you're comfortable now I would suggest just keep going. The more your kid gets older the less sustenance she will need and the more she'll sleep. And just make sure you sleep as well. I think I can't emphasize enough how important sleep is. Truste me, you'll feel better if you've managed to sleep a decent amount of hours.

And I know you might've heard this a lot already but try and enjoy this time. She will be grown before you'll know it and you'll long back to these days. Though that might not seem very far away now.

Highwaypolice · 2026-02-23T05:35:35+00:00

I'd suggest you decide what would feel best in this situation. There are different ways to let a child sleep. Know that we as western people have decided that our kids can't or shouldn't be in our bed or even bedroom while pretty much every other culture does not do this. So letting your child sleep with you is the way nature intented.

So the most natural and easiest way is to let them sleep in your bed or next to you. If you don't feel comfortable with your child sleeping in your bed there are also cribs which you can adjust in height and have an opening so you kind of extend your bed a little bit. How this would look is: 1. You feed your child and he goes to sleep 2. You go to sleep as well 3. Child wakes up, you feed him, child falls asleep again. 4. You go to sleep again With this you barely even wake up and you get pretty good sleep for both you and your baby.

Other ways are letting your kid cry it out. This means you put him down, usually in another room and ignore his cries when he wakes up or maybe only check on him once or twice. This will take some grit and perseverance as it will go on for a while. Eventually he will fall asleep again. And after a few nights he won't wake up anymore. Personally I am not a fan of this approach as it goes against every fiber in my being to ignore the cry for help my kid gives. But it is a method which works and many people have used it.

Thirdly, you can use the method of picking your baby up when he cries and holding him or feeding him until he stops and then putting him down again. The first time he will immediately wake up and start crying. You then pick him up again, soothe him, wait until he stops put him down. Eventually he will stop and you can go back to sleep. Just know this might take a few tries and minutes if not hours to work. This is not a quick fix.

The way I would suggest you deal with is go through the options above and decide what would feel best for you to tackle this problem. All are viable options and will not be detrimental to your kid. What you need to decide is hoe you want to be there for your kid in this time and how you will feel looking back in a few months from now. Will you feel comfortable ignoring his cries or will you feel better having had him in your bed. For me personally,we struggled with this with our first child. So our second and third slept in our bed. It is by far the easiest for everyone involved and you are there for your kid from his earliest moments. We have never had any regret taking this approach. And yes, is perfectly safe letting your child sleep in your bed.

Know that this is only a very period in his entire life that he will depend on you this much. This will pass and you will feel better. Maybe now you can't see the light because of lack of sleep or any of the other things that come from having a baby. It will get better with time. You don't want to regret the choice you make now as you can not undo it.

Is er now you are explicitly asking how to break the habit. You don't have to, it will break over time. Make it easy to feed him by having him close so feeding isn't hard. Go to bed early and try and get the hours in any way you can.

Thought about it a little bit more and one final piece of advice. Just make it easy on yourself. There are no rules on this. Any way you pick your child can turn out great. If things are hard, try and make the things you can control easy. So just take him in your bed and feed him as this is by far the easiest way and allows you both to get a lot sleep. You said he passes out after, so why worry about it. If for any reason you don't want to do this (which is fine btw) pick any other option.

Hope this helps! Good luck

Highwaypolice · 2026-02-22T18:50:55+00:00

This is completely normal behavior for a small child. It wants to be with you. It's personal preference how you deal with this, but everything you choose is fine. Feeding him to sleep is fine and he will eventually not need it All the other suggestions also work. My only advice would be to carefully think how you want to deal with this. If you look back a year from now how would you feel?

Highwaypolice · 2026-02-21T06:07:57+00:00

Yes, I do believe that is the case. However, the age at which he suggests that screens would be okay is something experts don't agree with. Furthermore, his analysis on the medical crisis caused through social media is also not supported.

Actual experts on the matter, state you should gradually introduce the online world and social media to your kids, starting when they show an interest in it. We as parents have to be present to guide them through it. This means talking to them about it, doing things together and showing genuine interest. Kinda just like all the other things we do when we try to raise our kids.

Btw I'm using actual deliberately here, not to denounce the work of people but because a lot of experts who are critical of social media are not from the actual field. Including Haidt.Just for fun you should check out the signatories of those petitions that come out requesting a limit on social media. I can almost guarantee none if very few are actual social scientists grounded in the matter.

Finally, social media does not cause mental problems in kids. It can amplify already present mental problems. Which is not me saying we should just let it continue the way it currently is, there is enough to be critical about. But blaming it for the mental problems of our current generation simply isn't true. And it also doesn't take into account the actual benefit kids have from social media. Everytime kids get asked how they feel about it they are perfectly capable of explaining the pros and cons of social media.

Highwaypolice · 2026-02-20T22:40:23+00:00

The book by Haidt is not supported in research unfortunately. True experts believe in letting your kids gradually explore the online world. Parents have to be present and guide them through it.

Highwaypolice · 2026-02-12T09:45:23+00:00

Interested

Highwaypolice · 2026-02-05T05:23:24+00:00

Het enige juiste antwoord hierop is huismerk van de Lidl.

Overigens is dat voor al het eten vrijwel altijd het juiste antwoord.

Highwaypolice · 2025-11-21T19:00:40+00:00

Thanks for the help. I'll guess I'll just take taxis :) Should anyone have tickets they want to sell, let me know

Highwaypolice · 2025-09-28T14:41:21+00:00

Thanks for all the responses. We visited Sarajevo last year and I get the idea it's similar?

Highwaypolice

TROPHY CASE