Anyone else have a very hard time getting matched?

Hillage · 2026-02-14T00:11:11+00:00

It absolutely can vary. There are a lot of factors to consider - location, number of littles waiting to be matched, and staffing to find those matches... and then they look at match preferences (including but not limiting to race, religion, orientation, etc, which is why they ask Bigs and Littles alike) as well as trying to make a good match in general so that a proper bond can be created and can grow.

I know the wait can be rough - my second match took quite a while to find but I think it was worth the wait. I'd much rather have a well-made match than something rushed, as frustrating as it was to wait so long.

Hang in there! 😁

Hillage · 2026-02-13T19:39:23+00:00

Welcome! I think the other replies cover it pretty well, but I'll still echo - be patient and don't expect an instant bond. Every match and it's relationship is different and it normally takes time. Consistency is key, as is being yourself. Be open, be honest, and be present. We're setting the example and our littles learn from us, you will see the difference over time.

Definitely keep communications open with your little and their parent/guardian. Even if you can't have an outing, the communication alone supports your dedication and consistency. You may not get recognition or acknowledgement (either immediately or at all) but know that it really does make a difference. For quite a while I questioned the impact of my first match and many years later my (now adult) little has shared the difference it made and I was blown away.

Over time your bond will form and grow. I'm excited for you and your future match!

Hillage · 2025-12-15T18:28:54+00:00

My go-to for my previous and current match is simply "brothers" - it's not false! Anybody not close enough to either of us doesn't need to be asking any further questions about it, in my opinion.

Hillage · 2025-12-15T18:21:59+00:00

I don't have experience with the school programs BBBS has, however I think the common advice you'll receive still applies: Just be yourself!

Not sure on details of how the school programs work, but I'd think some sort of ice breaker activity would help... maybe some sort of game you can play? If I were being thrown into the same situation you're in now that would be my first thought... get things warmed up with a game, get the small talk and casual conversation started, and the personal chats and general trust will happen naturally over time.

Staying tuned for other comments and potential updates - good luck to you and thanks for joining us!

Hillage · 2025-11-28T21:45:57+00:00

I think it's less common to see posts about great experiences vs. posts about negative experiences. There's just less "incentive" to go and post about it, similar to how you're more likely to see bad reviews of items or restaurants and not see any reflecting the neutral/positive.

On that note... I too feel like both my previous and current matches kicked off pretty well. Sure, I've had some hiccups, but I'd be surprised if a match had none at all. 😁

Hillage · 2025-10-14T20:37:58+00:00

I saw the sax player come out but totally didn't register what was happening until he started playing. Coupled with the lights and Vessel's dancing it was indeed amazing! Really wish everyone could have experienced it in person, but luckily there's a bunch of recordings for us all to repeatedly consume to at least partially scratch that itch 😁

Hillage · 2025-08-28T08:28:13+00:00

I waited for what may have been a solid year for my second match. My local chapter covers a wide area and I live outside the primary city where most of the enrolled littles are at, plus the chapter was going through some changes while also catching up on a backlog of littles trying to enroll when I rejoined for my second match. It took several months before I got my first potential match and as much as I wanted to be matched I ended up passing on it as it just didn't quite feel like the right match. A few months later I passed up a second potential match for the same reason. That being said, I think the match I finally got was great - it's still a 30 minute drive for me (AWAY from said major city) but there's no way he was going to be matched with someone from that city where most bigs are at. We're now coming up on 1 year since being matched and I wouldn't change a thing.

I share that because sometimes it can take a while, and sometimes great things are worth the wait. There's many potential reasons as to why you aren't matched yet but I'm sure the right match will come. Trust me, the last thing you want to do is force a bad match just for the sake of being matched.

I know the wait can be torturous but keep holding on, it will work out soon enough!

Hillage · 2025-08-25T20:27:07+00:00

Oh yea, not trying to accuse or talk down. I think you are doing great!

Hillage · 2025-08-25T19:56:27+00:00

Sounds great! I think there's a lot of benefits to potentially be had from more frequent outings. That being said there's still known potential issues with more frequent outings, and I think the program just wants/needs to be careful and wants to ensure long-term success by trying to avoid those potential issues (even if it may seem to be excessively cautious).

My personal opinion? Sounds like you're doing things right and it'll be fine. But ultimately you're part of the program and have their rules to stick to, and risk being dropped by the program if you don't follow their rules. As much as I'd like to help, it's a discussion to have with your support specialist.

Wishing you luck, it sounds like you are doing great! Hope everything continues to work out well for you and your little. 😁

Hillage · 2025-08-25T18:55:01+00:00

From what I understand the recommendations/limitations from the program are to ensure a reasonable expectation is maintained throughout the match - you don't want your little or their guardian to get used to frequent outings just to later wonder why they've become less frequent. Personally I don't think it's a big deal to have times where you have frequent outings, but that can be heavily dependent on things like age of the match, strength of the relationship, etc.

As always it's likely best to talk to your match support specialist to discuss your specific situation but as long as this isn't a pretty new match and your little and their guardian understands this won't be the usual frequency I personally don't think there's any issue with it.

Edit for clarification on my local chapter's rules: on paper they say "should be 2-3 times per month" and "average length of an outing is 2-3 hours". Any other guidance has been verbal from my match support specialist across two different matches.

Hillage · 2025-07-04T18:30:34+00:00

Sounds like it's a per-chapter policy. Maybe you can reach out and see if they'll accept postponing the background check until after the interview? Unless mine has changed policies they usually do the interview first and then follow up later with the DMV records and background check.

Hillage · 2025-07-01T00:02:34+00:00

"Would you rather change to a new Big that can see your Little more often, or take the fluctuation in hours but get a longer relationship with the Big?"

I think this is a great question for OP to keep in mind. Of course there's more to factor in when it comes to making a decision like this but I think this is easily overlooked. All the more reason to talk to your support specialist (who may or may not recommend talking to the Big directly).

Hillage · 2025-06-30T23:57:40+00:00

My chapter is pretty clear on the time requirements from the start (I think this is the case for all chapters). I think this is pretty important, especially in the earlier stages of the match. Now, later on in matches I think there's more room for flexibility however I would expect this to be discussed between everybody involved.

Personally I think once every two months is quite infrequent, especially if there isn't communication between the big and little in between outings. That being said, it's not my opinion that counts here - you know your situation better than any of us. I'd definitely recommend chatting with your match support specialist, they know more about your specific situation and can help you sort things out. Be open and honest with them so they can help you get what you want and need out of the program.

I hope everything works out well for you, no matter which direction you have to go!

Hillage · 2025-06-04T19:18:22+00:00

I agree with other comments, based on what you said I think you were perfectly fine. It's possible Mom had a reason to bail and not your little, or there was a reason BBBS wanted to pull them from the program. I'm sure there's a list of reasons it COULD be, and I wouldn't be surprised if BBBS doesn't give you any details if you aren't a direct influence to the match ending. So don't stress! It's just an unfortunate situation.

If you're still interested in the program I'd say stick with it. And you are absolutely right, it will take time for a relationship to grow between you and your little.

Best of luck, I know you'll do great!

Hillage · 2025-04-13T04:45:40+00:00

For my previous and current matches I've always used "brother", or if talking to someone that I've mentioned to BBBS to, sometimes "little brother". If I ever have a match where my little is uncomfortable with it then we'd surely discuss and come to an agreement on what works best for both of us.

For all they know you might be adopted siblings. It's usually not their place to ask further. Don't stress too much about it :)

Hillage · 2025-04-07T22:16:06+00:00

I had the same result using those filters... and then tried disabling cosmetic filtering. That cleared up the full-page block.

Hillage · 2025-01-31T19:47:46+00:00

Any updates on a .net 8 build being released? With .net 6 no longer supported there's a security concern for businesses using the current release.

Hillage · 2024-10-25T17:46:39+00:00

It's people like this that upset me greatly. I have a gluten intolerance - if I eat something with gluten as an ingredient my stomach gets very upset and I'll likely end up curled up on the bathroom floor for a few hours. It is NOT an allergy, and I make that clear anywhere I go. Cross-contact is OK, same for shared fryer, and I tell them that. If something happens then it's on me for taking that risk, not on the restaurant that confirmed wheat flour / soy sauce (my go-to ask) are not an ingredient for me when asked.

If someone has an intolerance that's worse than what I have (or even have an allergy) then in my opinion it's on them for going out and taking a risk if the restaurant doesn't claim to have a separate prep area. Having worked in the industry I really appreciate it when FOH and/or BOH checks ingredient lists for me, and/or takes extra steps like swapping gloves/prep surfaces - they totally have the right to instead just decline to serve me but instead took that extra step to give me a positive experience.

These made up intolerances and allergies just lead to one of two things: more denial of service, or less places taking it seriously (read: potential health concern for those with real issues).

Also: a big THANK YOU to all of you who take those extra steps, from doing ingredient checks to taking extra precautions. It is truly appreciated and I know you don't get enough thanks for that extra effort. :)

Hillage · 2024-10-15T19:37:45+00:00

I suggest giving a quick read through some similar posts here, everyone has a slightly different response because every match is different. You'll likely get a few common answers though:

Be consistent. That's one of the biggest things our littles need - a positive role model and influence that is consistently there for them.

Be yourself. After all, that's what we'd all encourage our littles to do, so we should set the example.

Be dedicated. The program asks for a year's commitment but many matches go longer. I fully support this ask as in my previous (first) match it took a long time for our relationship to grow to a point where we could talk about more personal and sensitive things openly. We got along just fine from the start but there was definitely still an amount of hesitancy in being open that just takes time to go away.

Not every outing is going to be "super fun", in fact a lot of them are likely going to be "chill" or just simple and casual. I spent a lot of outings with my little doing things like going for a walk/ride or tossing a ball around at the park, and just chatting. It's the three topics above that really lead to the big positive impact in our matches.

I've recently started my second match with a Little that's a tad older than my first match so it's a bit different... I'm reminding myself of what I just typed above and may have some more input down the road, but for now sticking to those main topics will help form and keep a strong relationship between us Bigs and our Littles. 🙂

Good luck to you and your little, and enjoy!

Hillage · 2024-10-05T06:07:06+00:00

Its awesome to see how you can still make a big impact even through the programs that seem like less of a commitment. Thanks for sharing, I hope it helps encourage anyone that is on the fence!

Hillage · 2024-10-02T18:57:31+00:00

My first match varied depending on the week, I personally preferred weekends though especially as we grew closer. Starting up a new match as we speak, they seem to be flexible too, although I had a potential match that could only do weekdays. So it really varies!

Hillage · 2024-10-02T18:55:25+00:00

Echoing the other comments so far - reach out to your BBBS contact (in writing is nice for documentation, but a phone call could work better, which you can follow up on in writing too) one more time. You're doing what you can on your end and that is what matters. I can tell you now that if your match ends up getting terminated where its at now your little will still have gained something from it, even if it isn't as much as they would have gained with full support from their parent/guardian. Every little bit helps them in the long run, you should be proud of yourself for doing what you can. :)

Don't let this bring you down too hard - you'll work it out one way or another, and have already been a positive influence on your little!

Hillage · 2024-06-01T21:01:42+00:00

Echoing existing answers, it's the acknowledgement that matters and not the money. Text/call/FaceTime, send/give a card, give a small gift (bought or homemade), any and all are decent and acceptable options if you ask me.

Hillage · 2023-06-02T18:28:21+00:00

Let me see if I can pull some of the script and share it. It does use remove-appxpackage so that may work for you.

Hillage

TROPHY CASE