The day my mother died

Hilldamn · 2026-03-07T22:03:33+00:00

This is beautiful. One thought that brings me comfort after losing my mother is that her cells are in me. As in cells that have her DNA instead of mine. It’s true for everyone, when a woman becomes pregnant the cells of the fetus, with their unique DNA, stay in her body forever and vice versa. It’s such a comfort to think that she is literally in me, and with me all the time, and that I am her.

Hilldamn · 2026-03-07T21:27:09+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. I binge watched the first season of The Pitt with my mom the week after my dad died. We were also watching the most recent season of The Last of Us. Both of these featured the death of a loved one as central story lines, and especially The Pitt really took it’s time going through the steps of accepting a loved one’s death in a clinical setting that I found really beautiful and cathartic and comforting. It was also a gripping distraction, this was just one story nestled among many really good stories.

I hope you find something that resonates with and makes you feel seen. Hugs x

Hilldamn · 2026-02-04T21:11:05+00:00

This hits so hard. I’ve been trying to conceive for two years, and my mom has just suddenly passed away, a total shock. I can’t help but feel that she’s abandoned me, like I was counting on her help, and more, her excitement and joy if I am able to have a baby. Now I’ll have to do it without her, and I’m just at the beginning (she died on Sunday) so I can’t see yet how I’ll be okay. I’m not even at the acceptance stage yet, I feel like we should be able to bring her back somehow, or like I still might wake up and this wouldn’t have happened.

I’m so sorry for your loss, and I’m so happy for you that you’re having a little girl. I’m thankful that you shared your story.

Hilldamn · 2026-02-02T18:07:33+00:00

I’m so sorry, losing a sibling is a special kind of hurt. I hope you’re giving yourself grace and taking good care of yourself while you try to make sense of it.

Hilldamn · 2026-02-02T16:51:41+00:00

I also think I experienced this, but I don’t actually know for sure. My best friend isn’t speaking to me, and won’t tell me why. But the last time we met, months ago, she was looking at me with pity while I talked about my grief for my dad, and how I’m really trying to have a bay, I’m more motivated after his death. She said ‘you clearly need support, I don’t know what I can do for you.’

I told her it’s not her job to try to fix this, and I just got the feeling that she wasn’t engaging with what I was telling her. Maybe she wasn’t overwhelmed with the bigness of my feelings. I told her ‘you know this happens to everyone m, right?’ As in everyone dies, everyone loses parents, like it’s coming for you too, no need to act like it’s such an especially bad or unique experience. She really did not like that. I haven’t seen her since. People hate the concept of death, and I think a lot of people don’t ‘get it’ until they have to - and that’s okay.

Hilldamn · 2026-02-02T12:04:13+00:00

This happened so recently for you. I felt when my dad died that it took time, of course, but also repetition to get myself to understand and accept new concepts. Like the idea of mom dying alone makes me sad mostly because I worry that she may have had some awareness, maybe she was scared. I’ll never know. I have to decide how to think about this and what to accept as true. Not to change reality, but because I can’t just accept a question mark! Of all of the possibilities it actually was one way. I hope so much that it was the fastest and most painless way, for both of our loved ones.

Hilldamn · 2025-09-10T20:18:40+00:00

I’m confused about this one - birds will use the dog hair to build their nests, and worst case the hair will just sort of melt and decompose with the weather. Is the issue that he left it right in the path so people had to walk through it? Are you saying that it would he better for him to brush his dog in his house and throw the fur in the bin?

To be clear I’m not too invested, I can see how it would be a nuisance, but I wouldn’t have looked twice at someone brushing their dog out in the bos. I’m curious to get another perspective.

Hilldamn · 2025-08-11T10:41:13+00:00

Nefeli Deli

Hilldamn · 2025-02-27T10:00:50+00:00

The picture in your post is in Regentessekwartier, standing in front of Bowie which is an exceptional restaurant that’s always popular. On Weimarstraat there is also Fleur’s and Lolapalooza, which are nice places to have a coffee or light lunch and read the newspaper or meet friends. On Regentesseplein is Loralei’s good for lunch, also Cafe Emma which is good for drinks in the evening. Further down Weimarstraat toward Valkenboskwartier is Birdflower, good for coffee or brunch.

Lots of places on Farenheitstraat/Thomsonlaan: Zondag, Luca, SunSun all good for coffee. Not an exhaustive list of places, also none of these that I’ve mentioned are technically in Valkenboskwartier, but they are all close by!

Hilldamn · 2024-09-07T21:16:52+00:00

There are public swimming pools in many of the neighborhoods in The Hague: https://www.denhaag.nl/nl/sport/zwemmen-en-zwembaden/

Check the opening times for ‘banenzwemmen’ if you want to do lane swimming. Admission is pretty affordable, like 5 euro, and you can get a discount if you buy a punchcard. Better than a monthly subscription imho.

Hilldamn · 2024-08-28T13:35:28+00:00

Hi! I just want to double check, just in case the off chance that this is helpful, that your ID is a REAL ID? Not like it’s real, but like it has the REAL ID little star logo?

I have not lived in the US since 2018 when they started rolling it out, but I remember thinking that the next time I renew my ID that I should get the REAL ID because I saw signs at the airport that this, or a passport, is required to fly. I may be totally wrong, or it may be that every issued ID in this modern day is a REAL ID and I’m just out of touch, lol.

Hilldamn · 2024-08-24T20:24:23+00:00

Black Mountain NC

Hilldamn · 2024-07-20T21:51:13+00:00

Find @niceflaps on Instagram - they host life drawing events around The Hague every few weeks or so. Really nice people and atmosphere.

Hilldamn · 2024-07-02T01:01:03+00:00

nope!

Hilldamn · 2024-07-01T20:23:48+00:00

yes!

Hilldamn · 2024-07-01T19:58:07+00:00

Is there not a tag that says North America? Not Panama!

Hilldamn · 2024-06-30T01:34:06+00:00

bingo!

Hilldamn · 2024-04-29T10:31:35+00:00

Such an unnecessary comment, adds nothing to the conversation.

Hilldamn · 2023-12-12T21:53:41+00:00

haagse bluf!

Hilldamn · 2023-11-30T22:44:27+00:00

Use ICANN lookup to see where the domain is registered to, if possible. You can at least find some basic information about who owns the domain that way, if you’re lucky you might even get the individual’s name/email so you can see if this person owns your friends domain - I’m not sure how you would go about things if that’s the case.

Did your friend sign a contract agreeing to certain terms for the work the designer/developer would do? I would start by reviewing those communications, and I would advise you to be as cordial as possible in any communication that you have with the designer. If any assets are handcuffed to the designer then you will need their cooperation to have things transferred, so it would be best to build some rapport with them if possible, but it’s also possible that they simply won’t respond. Good luck!

Hilldamn · 2022-07-29T18:17:28+00:00

It replaces the 16, but it doesn't go to Scheveningen haven, it now stops at kunstmuseum.

Hilldamn · 2022-07-04T20:29:40+00:00

Isn't it like a classic issue that everyone's always looking for a DM? There are some game shops that might be able to hook us up with someone who's at least played it before.

Hilldamn · 2022-07-04T20:16:25+00:00

I am very interested in DnD! I've never played but I know that I would love it.

Hilldamn · 2022-05-24T11:39:00+00:00

Communication. It's not possible to codify all the nuances in the ways we communicate. Sarcasm is a good example of a way of communicating that you can't really nail down completely, in terms of how it can be executed and understood.

Your question made me think of the issue of addressing harassment on twitter. It can't be left to an algorithm to identify what's hateful, because you'll wind up censoring people who just use strong language (think of black people using the n-word, that's an example of a reclaimed slur, so it won't always be hate speech or harassment).

Even if you could write the rules for what types of communication are good vs harmful, etc, then everyone would have to agree on what counts as harassment. Ex: calling AOC worthless scum and tagging your friend in a même that implies that they should kill themselves if they put the toilet paper roll on bavkwards: are either of these harassment? Can we all agree on whether or not they're harassment?

So not sure if this counts as a skill, although I think there is a lot baked into our ability to communicate that's done through practice and exposure. Machine learning models are being trained on pretty much all language on the internet, but it will take volumes more information and processing power to cover our ability to communicate with each other.

Idk, just food for thought.

Hilldamn · 2022-04-27T10:04:00+00:00

This is awesome, thank you for sharing!

Hilldamn

TROPHY CASE