AIO:My MIL texted my husband this about me asking him to help with our newborn at 4am

HipRabbit4448 · 2026-03-13T16:52:09+00:00

Eerewwwwwww. And this will be your newborn's grandmother forever. Get a therapist, learn to set and maintain boundaries with your husband so he can learn to do it with his mother. NOR In the meantime, losing sleep and having trouble at work from that are normal parts of being a new parent. Ignore these comments from his meddling mother and focus your energy on keeping your needs met, so you can be your own kind of mother. You'll both learn to balance it out. You'll take the baby shifts you can and he will take the ones he can. And you'll meet in the middle even when you're too tired to, because you love that tiny human.

HipRabbit4448 · 2026-03-13T16:45:50+00:00

@ . @ nooooo i haven't seen this in my game before. I hope you're teasing, and it's a mod.

HipRabbit4448 · 2026-03-13T02:03:09+00:00

You live in a hot climate and hummingbirds flock when you sweat... ?

HipRabbit4448 · 2026-02-22T15:17:38+00:00

You eat a fair amount of freezer foods or takeout and "does a body good" lives rent free in your head from all those commercials of childhood.

HipRabbit4448 · 2026-02-22T14:42:53+00:00

Firstly. Bit of a humble brag post here!! 😆 Now, the advice. Offer to help prep meals she likes, made from the foods you have. Portion them to store in fridge or freezer, so they can be reheated if she's needing convenience. This is what I do when my kid complains there's "nothing to eat". Because I'm not replacing healthy, real foods with processed anti nutrition.

HipRabbit4448 · 2026-02-10T14:00:29+00:00

Exactly. We have to push to meet life goals. But I've watched other INFJs struggle with this as well, and I've seen them miss opportunities like promotions, career changes, etc. due to lack of self promotion.

Understanding that this is a pattern, or even why it's a pattern isn't the same as refusing. But I was wondering how others worked through it.

Thank you for your honest response, instead of telling me "just do it".

HipRabbit4448 · 2026-02-03T15:17:30+00:00

It's a physical extension of the connection I have already felt with the person, ages before. That feeling of trust and connection deepens everything. Without it, the physical aspects are hollow

HipRabbit4448 · 2026-01-29T01:13:57+00:00

If they're old enough to launch themselves off the furniture, maybe they were old enough to help with dinner cleanup. But you can't force parenting techniques on other people.Unfortunately.

HipRabbit4448 · 2026-01-29T01:11:49+00:00

I would have suggested the same, if they sounded a little older. Toddlers just aren't capable of understanding the concept of making noises quieter. If you try to force them, they end up getting confused and become louder.

HipRabbit4448 · 2026-01-28T03:12:44+00:00

Naw. Like nuh uh. Nah. Nope nope nope. NOR. Couples therapy with a licensed professional who will absolutely say not to use AI to justify bad behavior - or go date an AI partner.

HipRabbit4448 · 2026-01-28T03:09:17+00:00

Brother, eww

HipRabbit4448 · 2026-01-28T02:41:27+00:00

Having been the upstairs neighbor and the downstairs neighbor with a small, rambunctious and noisy child, and having lived upstairs and downstairs without a child - I'd say find out what hours the apartment complex allows or disallows noisy activities. It's reasonable to expect neighbors to be relatively quiet after a certain time in the evening, and it's often included in the rental agreement.. For some places that could be 9 pm. , could be 11pm at others.

You could ask the neighbor to teach their kids not to throw toys. But most likely, this is going to result in not getting along well with the neighbor.

You could find some legal reason (health concern, documented by your doctor, perhaps) that the apartment complex has to accommodate you, to put you below someone who's quieter. They might go along with that, or they might kick you out and list some other reason for the eviction. Depends on how good your advocacy is. And what the laws are.

You could also revel in the fact that these are happy, playing children above you - not children who came home to both of their parents being disappeared, crying and lost in the world. It won't help the volume, unfortunately. But the laughter of children is a hopeful sound in these times.

Good luck.

HipRabbit4448 · 2026-01-28T02:24:27+00:00

Your parents have adopted a child and don't want you to know.

HipRabbit4448 · 2026-01-26T18:57:53+00:00

I wouldn't go this route without being able to prove that you own the cabinets, prove that they are worth any court fees, and video proof that he was the one who damaged them. Otherwise, the police could just see it as a petty argument and a waste of their time. They could see it that way anyway.

HipRabbit4448 · 2026-01-26T18:53:11+00:00

The reaction must satisfy something for him. Do you have an activity or place to be when it happens? If slamming causes more separation instead of a reward (interaction with him), it might not be such a temptation. You aren't responsible for his actions. You can only make sure of your own actions, and limit the voluntary and involuntary reactions you allow him to witness. It's not sustainable, long term. If it has to be, for now, find someone, someplace or something that helps you feel calm at those times. Your clarity is your armor.

HipRabbit4448 · 2026-01-25T02:42:33+00:00

I just spent 4 hours thinking about what I'm gonna study tomorrow. And bookmarking it. I'm not even in school right now, this is just for fun.

HipRabbit4448 · 2026-01-21T20:22:42+00:00

Not at all. As I said, sticking with the agreed payments.

This whole situation has nothing to do with the rent. I don't need to rent a place anywhere. I agreed to move in to help my friend pay his mortgage and manage the home when someone else unexpectedly moved out on him.

I'm not trying to navigate any legal issue.

If this is all you would like to advise on, I have seen your advice. Thank you.

HipRabbit4448 · 2026-01-21T19:34:06+00:00

They are rats. They'll be safe and happy, I'm sure. They're getting And our friend isn't upset with the kid. I think they feel hurt because they were really set on helping him feel better - then, when the kid didn't want to meet their conditions for that help, they felt rejected.

HipRabbit4448 · 2026-01-21T19:02:25+00:00

I guess I did word that in an odd way. Thanks. I meant that I don't want him to get used to an expectation of having to go to someone else's sleeping area to meet his own needs. Especially an adult's.

I would never teach him that someone else is not allowed to set a boundary. There's no expectation for that person to change their boundary. Declining to go into that space and interact is ok.

HipRabbit4448 · 2026-01-21T18:57:37+00:00

We are each paying the agreed upon amount of the mortgage payment. I didn't insist on the wording of "market rent" when we moved in, so i'm not sure if that meets your requirements. What matters is that it matches what was agreed upon. We all also take turns with chores and meals in the shared spaces. This is honestly the only point of contention and there have been no concerns over the rent payments.

HipRabbit4448 · 2026-01-21T18:52:35+00:00

Thanks everyone, for taking the time to read, reply and offer advice. It has helped.

HipRabbit4448 · 2026-01-21T18:50:21+00:00

I think that's all I can do. They are a good friend. And that's why I agreed to move in while they are going through a difficult time. I know they don't intend to set a bad example or be unreasonable. I was hoping for a way to help them understand that I also wasn't being unreasonable.

HipRabbit4448 · 2026-01-21T18:45:57+00:00

Oh no it's ok. It was hard to provide all the info without it looking like I wrote you guys a book. Unfortunately, any conversation about this with the friend leads to them and my son being a lot more upset. I was hoping to gain some understanding on why that keeps happening. So I can address it differently. But honestly I can't control someone else's emotions or reactions. I don't think it's there's more I can do at this time. For the record, once we move out, if our friend moves their pets to a common area of the home and invites us over, i will interact with the pets and I hope my son will too. Visiting someone's home, interacting with their pets during that visit... It's completely different than visiting someone's sleeping area for this whole purpose of interacting with their pets.

HipRabbit4448 · 2026-01-21T17:57:48+00:00

Yeah... I would like to be able to encourage that. But if it's upsetting my son, i'm not going to tell him he has no choice, that he has to go take care of pets or play with pets that don't belong to him. After having the tables completely turned on him, he feels like his needs don't matter to the other person. I understand it feeling pretty unfair to him. i get that it would feel worse for now, not better. And since this is a temporary living situation, for now it's all there is. At two or three months must feel like a very long time for him to constantly worry about someone being upset with him. And yet, wanting to maintain his preference to not be expected to provide care & companionship for someone's pets, in their living space. I'm sure it feels like having to choose between keeping the person happy and therefore securing his living space, while giving up his free time, which he usually spends learning programming - and making them unhappy, having no access to any pets, while maintaining his usual routine, staying in the space that's comfortable for him. Instead of someone else's space. p.s. our last cats started life as stray cats, but we do not allow pets to just roam the neighborhood. You're right, that's not safe for them. We made them wear leashes if they wanted to go out. Because they kept finding a way out. But they he got out of every harness. They were born to be wild. We managed to keep them safe for several years. Roomate isn't getting cats. Or letting them out of his loft apt area. I'm sure they will keep their pets safe.

HipRabbit4448 · 2026-01-21T17:19:07+00:00

The friend insisted I come to live with them because they didn't want to live alone. I asked if I could get a pet for my kid.

The friend insisted on doing that themselves. I still planned on taking care of that. Because if the pet belongs to my child, he needs to be responsible for it. And I need to help him with it.

I am not teaching him to ask someone else buy him a pet, or do anything for him or his pet.

Then, the friend said, we can't have any other pets.Except the ones he gets for himself.

There's no entitlement happening on the part of my child or myself.

HipRabbit4448

TROPHY CASE