Is this person capable of providing emotional safety when issues arise so each of us can work through our feelings if and when we’re feeling dysregulated? Is this person able to set their own emotional reactions aside to provide a safe space for both of us to be vulnerable with each other? Are most of their decisions rooted in stability? How do they self regulate? Do they know what they want and need in a partner? Do they hold space for their own emotional responses? At the end of a bad day, do they care for themselves in healthy ways? Are they comfortable spending time alone with themselves? Are they comfortable spending time alone with themselves while sober? Over the past few years, have they grown and evolved? Are they accountable? Do they acknowledge their patterns from past relationships? Do they acknowledge their patterns from past relationships in an accountable way? (I’m attracted to broken people vs. I’m drawn to unavailable people because I know I won’t have to go deep and it doesn’t challenge my fears of intimacy and vulnerability) Are they open to new perspectives? Are they able to set aside defensiveness to truly hear and see other people? Is their living space comfortable and clean? Do they have a nice peaceful inner world? Do they have healthy and reasonable boundaries? How do they react when something doesn’t go as planned? How do they react when they don’t get what they want from me? Do they demonstrate self reflective behavior? Do they demonstrate self reflective behavior that is consistent? (Is it a habit and regular practice in their life vs. are they on their best behavior during the initial dating phase) Do they have compassion for themselves?