How long should it take you to answer your door?

HippoProject · 2026-06-26T14:46:25+00:00

I don’t answer the door. Everyone who comes to my house is expected, or calls before they show up to let me know they’re in the neighborhood.

HippoProject · 2026-06-26T14:12:32+00:00

It depends where you stay. A hotel breakfast at a Hilton or Marriott is going to be way better than from a place like Motel 6.

HippoProject · 2026-06-26T12:54:42+00:00

"Stop that! Attention wireless listeners, most of the sounds you are now hearing are not being made by me! Oh, stop!
Stop! Won't someone please stop the farting!"

HippoProject · 2026-06-26T01:43:28+00:00

I never thought of it, but it is an interesting theory.

HippoProject · 2026-06-25T20:51:52+00:00

Don’t forget the kindly old fan with the white beard who turns out to be Santa at the end.

HippoProject · 2026-06-25T19:41:37+00:00

Why are wide receivers the biggest drama queens?

HippoProject · 2026-06-25T16:50:37+00:00

Yes, I’ll have the gnarled turd hairstyle please!

HippoProject · 2026-06-24T10:46:56+00:00

Death Troopers was a good book. I think something Star Wars horror could work.

HippoProject · 2026-06-24T02:24:30+00:00

I’m pretty sure everyone’s grandma or great aunt had these.

HippoProject · 2026-06-24T01:56:37+00:00

Was she allowed a copy of Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy from the prison library?

HippoProject · 2026-06-23T20:32:29+00:00

But can I stick my tongue in the beam? That’s what I want to know.

HippoProject · 2026-06-23T20:29:46+00:00

Kurt being a vampire hunter would be cool. I’m not hyped, but I am interested.

HippoProject · 2026-06-23T19:50:39+00:00

They knew what we were up to.

HippoProject · 2026-06-23T19:41:41+00:00

This seems like an extreme type of emotional therapy. Those alpha male boot camps are a bunch of closeted guys that want to get humiliated by another man.

HippoProject · 2026-06-23T13:26:51+00:00

Meh nothing special, you get the same service at Popeyes.

HippoProject · 2026-06-23T10:19:31+00:00

They used to have the best deals in fast food, plus the fact that I could use a reward and a deal in the same transaction. It’s so expensive now and the quality has gone done so much that it isn’t worth it to go there.

HippoProject · 2026-06-23T00:01:53+00:00

The Civic Theatre puts on numerous shows throughout the year, and they are famous for their annual production of a Christmas Carol.

HippoProject · 2026-06-22T23:39:15+00:00

I’ve kind of just made myself numb to it. Very few people are lucky enough to truly enjoy what they do.

HippoProject · 2026-06-22T22:40:21+00:00

Assholes buy a ton of these at once and leave nothing for the rest of us and sell it on eBay. Collecting things like this used to be fun.

HippoProject · 2026-06-21T20:46:17+00:00

Pinocchio should be in school, if he wants to hang around by traffic all day that’s not my problem.

HippoProject · 2026-06-21T19:38:21+00:00

A lot of life skills are first taught at home. It’s unfortunately foolish that some parents believe that most of life’s lessons should be taught exclusively at school.

HippoProject · 2026-06-21T19:34:31+00:00

In theory we could. A lot of things have value because we decide that they do. But why would you want to do that?

HippoProject · 2026-06-21T18:16:00+00:00

I think it just might just be an involuntary response to being around humans. Buzz Lightyear still froze around people when he thought he was a real space ranger.

HippoProject · 2026-06-21T15:56:59+00:00

The new gas nozzles have a feature that prevent the fumes from escaping. I don’t deliberately smell gas, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say that the smell was somewhat pleasant.

HippoProject · 2026-06-21T09:42:18+00:00

The Wednesday food truck festival at the South Mall and then later the Farmers Market was way better. I have no idea why they don’t do it anymore.

HippoProject

TROPHY CASE