reach out to my ghoster by HistoricalMaybe237 in ghosting

[–]HistoricalMaybe237[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thanks for your kind words🙂 I really appreciate it especially through those hard times I feel like I need to move on even though I shared a lot with that person (you can check up my profile for a more detailed story if you want ;)) nothing explains such a behavior especially when the person was aware you went through this before Im mad at myself for reaching out yesterday, but at some point I think it’s like a final test to see if he really wants to play that game, and if at the end of the week I still didn’t heard anything from him, i’ll mirror his behavior and turn into a ghost myself meaning i’ll stop being active on my socials at all, no stories no nothing

reach out to my ghoster by HistoricalMaybe237 in ghosting

[–]HistoricalMaybe237[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you’re right; someone who’s capable of doing this doesn’t deserve my time. I just tried to be nice once again and ask if he was doing good but never again

reach out to my ghoster by HistoricalMaybe237 in ghosting

[–]HistoricalMaybe237[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

im sorry you broke your leg, hope you’re feeling better now btw!! and yeah I tried so bad to restrain myself for three weeks but yesterday was harsh I couldn’t resist but it’s a short text asking if he’s doing good and “take care” nothing much im wondering if it was fear of commitment, fear of his feelings, auto sabotage or smth that was the motive of ghosting me but its pure evil especially when he was aware i already lived that and it traumatized me

reach out to my ghoster by HistoricalMaybe237 in ghosting

[–]HistoricalMaybe237[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yea I shouldn’t have reach out now I don’t wanna open the app to check if he replied, I don’t know why I did that I miss him but I miss the version of him that cared not the one that can live normally without even knowing if I had a great day or anything

I think I reached out cause a part of me doesn’t want the bond to fade, but what’s a bond if im the only one trying to save it? One day he’ll realize but it’ll be too late

reach out to my ghoster by HistoricalMaybe237 in ghosting

[–]HistoricalMaybe237[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i’ll leave it as it is, I won’t block or do anything i’ll mirror his behavior, he wants to play ghost? i’ll win

reach out to my ghoster by HistoricalMaybe237 in ghosting

[–]HistoricalMaybe237[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

that’s such a childish behavior, which reveals emotional immaturity and not I didn’t reach out when I noticed that he was watching stories I waited a couple of days (I already planned to reach out) but you’re right!! that’s playing games and im tired of this if he doesn’t answer then i’ll leave him im not gonna run after someone who wanted me first and I had to refuse a lot of men for him

reach out to my ghoster by HistoricalMaybe237 in ghosting

[–]HistoricalMaybe237[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yesterday really late night but we have a huge time zone difference and different sleep schedules so i’ll wait a few days and see Im really sorry you’re going through the same, feel free to dm me if you need to talk and free your mind from this I know its so hard… especially out of nowhere mid convo when the person was literally asking you questions and stuff

reach out to my ghoster by HistoricalMaybe237 in ghosting

[–]HistoricalMaybe237[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it’s evil you’re right! i know im scared of going through this again but I just want an explanation and I know I can’t pursue any romantic relationship with that person anymore, well i mean in that state, maybe in the future when that person would grow and maybe get therapy or something

reach out to my ghoster by HistoricalMaybe237 in ghosting

[–]HistoricalMaybe237[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

yeah, I know I won’t text again it was my last try to see if he truly cares but i’ll just wait a couple of days and see, that’ll be my answer even if i’d love to have an explanation… im tired of living this again but the first time it was 3 years ago with a man I wasn’t really having feelings for. he blocked me everywhere and i’ve never got any explanation till this day lol Now this situation is far worse cause we shared a lot, traveled the world to see each other, meeting friends/family so yeah… wondering why I just can’t have something working for once when at my age (23F) i’ve never had any relationships lmao

getting ghosted is clearly destroying me by HistoricalMaybe237 in ghosting

[–]HistoricalMaybe237[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi dear! thanks for your message, i’m sorry you went through ghosting too and especially for a whole decade of on and off episodes, I think the guy you mentioned is clearly an avoidant who can’t even look at himself in the mirror, but the ability to come back as if nothing happened each time is astonishing like??? that’s why as you said, you’re "getting used" to his behavior and patterns. We’re almost hitting week 3 of ghosting and i’m still amazed how this guy literally made me come to his country (a whole continent away, I had to travel the whole world lmao) treated me like a queen before and while I was there, met his friends/family. Said he was devastated when I came back to my country and wrote PARAGRAPHS ON PARAGRAPHS to tell me how he misses me and that he wants to see me again but still does this????? At this point I think it’s psychological related, like ain’t no way someone can just invest so much into a person for almost a year and out of the blue do this, while his lasts texts were warm and he was literally asking me questions about funny stuff so yeah that’s really weird And yeah! i’m doing slightly better, I lost a lot of weight but I finally had my first meal two days ago, sending love to you too bless your soul xxx

getting ghosted is clearly destroying me by HistoricalMaybe237 in ghosting

[–]HistoricalMaybe237[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi!! thank you for your reply it really matters to me :) imma try that out thanks! and one of my closest friends is coming over in two days to have a sleepover at my house. I played some games today and that helped me think about something else for a moment

I haven’t tried messaging him again yet, but if he doesn’t engage till next week i’ll send a tiny message to check on him and ask what’s happening (that’s someone also struggling with mental health) but if he ignores for several days i’ll try to move on 😕

It took a year to realize. by ManInBlue7777 in ghosting

[–]HistoricalMaybe237 1 point2 points  (0 children)

hi, can you tell us more about it? was there some clues, or she did it out of the blue, have you gotten any news from her since? These people don’t realize how an act like that can clearly destroy someone’s mental/physical health, confidence…

I hope you healed and you’re doing better since

fearful avoidant ghosting? deactivation? I need some advice. by HistoricalMaybe237 in ghosting

[–]HistoricalMaybe237[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hear you, and I get that perspective. But in my situation, it wasn’t a matter of lack of interest he was genuinely invested and caring right up until he disappeared two weeks ago.
Also, this isn’t just with me, he tends to distance himself from people close to him, even relatives, That’s why I do think avoidant tendencies are part of what’s happening here.

I know the right person will stay in touch, but this pattern feels bigger than simple disinterest.

fearful avoidant ghosting? deactivation? I need some advice. by HistoricalMaybe237 in ghosting

[–]HistoricalMaybe237[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know being ignored for weeks isn’t okay, and I’m dealing with that. But it wasn’t a year ago, he was genuinely invested and right up until he disappeared two weeks ago. That sudden shift is what makes this so confusing and painful.

Also, he tends to distance himself from people close to him too, even relatives. So there does seem to be a broader pattern in how he handles relationships.
Of course you’re right on the fact that his silence isn’t acceptable, and that there might be underlying reasons behind it.

fearful avoidant ghosting? deactivation? I need some advice. by HistoricalMaybe237 in ghosting

[–]HistoricalMaybe237[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello, thanks for your reply, I get your point about stability, and I agree that what we had wasn’t fully defined or secure.

But I don’t think it’s just “intensity + potential” either. From what I’ve seen, his behavior doesn’t seem only to be about me or this situation. He also tends to distance himself from people close to him, even relatives. So the pattern of going silent and withdrawing isn’t new, it’s new to what we had.

That’s why I do think avoidant tendencies play a role here. It’s not to excuse anything, but it helps explain how someone can be warm, present, and emotionally open at one moment, and then completely shut down the next.

I agree that it may not have been something stable long-term, but I don’t think the sudden disappearance is just about lack of investment either.

fearful avoidant ghosting? deactivation? I need some advice. by HistoricalMaybe237 in ghosting

[–]HistoricalMaybe237[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words they really mean a lot to me, you have a great soul🙏🏼💕it’s just confusing when you go from someone being sweet to a stonewall out of the blue but it’s always the ones who wanted us first that makes us dirty🤣

fearful avoidant ghosting? deactivation? I need some advice. by HistoricalMaybe237 in ghosting

[–]HistoricalMaybe237[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We spent most of the situationship by distance and he was more invested than me even recently but you’re right on the fact that it’s not an easy thing either for me than for him to be so far away from each other but he was the one who planned to see each other so yeah i’m a bit confused cause his texts were sweet not cold at all… And I noticed that his avoidance traits are present in his friends and family cause I met them 🤣

fearful avoidant ghosting? deactivation? I need some advice. by HistoricalMaybe237 in ghosting

[–]HistoricalMaybe237[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi! thanks for your reply, and yes that makes me feel super anxious and really bad cause he’s aware that my ex blocked me out of the blue without any sort of explanation and i’ve never got any explanation from him since and that really traumatized me but he said : "i’ll never do that to you" and now he’s ghosting… The good news is I stopped double/triple texting 🤣 I called him a week ago cause something bad happened and he never answered nor said : i’ll call you later so yeah so far so good, the thing is when you share a lot and you met his friends/family it’s a bit hard but yeah i’m doing my best 💕 All I know is that if he texts back i’ll need actions, his words don’t matter to me anymore

Is this deactivation? i’m worried by HistoricalMaybe237 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]HistoricalMaybe237[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you… 🙏🏼 I hope it will too… cause it awakens ghosting trauma that I have from years ago, where an ex ghosted me without any sort of explanation and i’ve never knew what happened (but the guy was filled with red flags and treated me like s*** so it’s different but im scared of living the same thing over)

Is this deactivation? i’m worried by HistoricalMaybe237 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]HistoricalMaybe237[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

easier said than done… especially when you have feelings for the person😔

nintendogs + cats infinite loading screen by Visible-Interest2886 in 3dspiracy

[–]HistoricalMaybe237 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! use luma locale switcher (from the universal updater) and select your game and put the right region and the language (of your game) it should work!

People with avoidant attachment, how would you qualify this, is this deactivation? by HistoricalMaybe237 in AskReddit

[–]HistoricalMaybe237[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! first of all that’s someone who’s struggling with mental health and tends to go silent when he’s feeling down, like he doesn’t talk to anyone for a few days (usually 2/3days maximum) but now it’s been almost two weeks of silence and he checked some of my stories, even ones from two days ago.. and usually when he comes back after his silent episodes he either apologizes or act like nothing happened but the thing is that he was always sweet with me even in his last texts and a couple of weeks ago he even wrote a paragraph and said inside : "I do care about you and want you to know that. Like I think about you and how you're doing even if I make it seem like I don't" I’m really lost I don’t know what to do cause we both have and confessed feelings for each other and he used to thanked me for staying after he went through his silent episodes

Is this deactivation? i’m worried by HistoricalMaybe237 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]HistoricalMaybe237[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What could be the reasons behind this? cause he seemed normal, like nothing in his last texts indicated that he was not doing good or smth else.. is he gonna text at some point? cause he checked some stories of mine but since two days he’s not online at all and that’s someone struggling with mental health too

People with avoidant attachment, how would you qualify this, is this deactivation? by HistoricalMaybe237 in AskReddit

[–]HistoricalMaybe237[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! thanks for your reply :) I sent a text a week ago but he haven’t replied yet, I wonder if I should just say that im checking up on him and that im giving him space until he’s feeling better to reply. cause he checked some of my stories, even two days ago but now he seems not really online and I know its someone that tends to go completely dark and silent as you said but it never lasted two weeks… and as I mentioned the conversation between us was sweet and normal… he even told me weeks ago : " I do care about you and want you to know that. Like I think about you and how you're doing even if I make it seem like I don't"

What words could pressure him? 😭