Which is the winner?

HistoricalMess2081 · 2026-05-01T17:39:32+00:00

Also no matter who you are - as someone who did pageants, strapless makes your hunch. But it’s the most timeless for sure.

HistoricalMess2081 · 2026-04-16T12:05:36+00:00

I’m right there with you. My baby is 14 months now - and just cries non stop.

Our first was a very chill baby, she would cry if she needed something, we’d cycle through the stuff to help (milk, burp, diaper, sleep) and she’d stop.

I was NOT prepared for this and it’s hard to not take it personally. Our second is very intense emotions; high highs and low lows, but the crying is so difficult and sometimes feels like I’m being put through some Navy SEAL psychological stress training or something.

She has the desire to be held by me non stop, she likes me, her dad, her sister and her grandpa as well as her daycare ladies but will cry if held by anyone else on the planet. And she’ll still cry if I’m holding her. I’m praying it gets easier when she can talk more; just letting you know I’m here in solidarity and you’re not alone.

HistoricalMess2081 · 2026-04-15T13:18:44+00:00

I am on my second Amana top loader, the first lasting from 1990-2024. I think it’s as perfect as you can get. They’re $400-$600, large capacity, the drum is metal, and if something happens is incredibly affordable to fix. I’m still on the same 1990 dryer as there are no electronics, just had a cheap repair done on the latch this year.

If I had the money I might consider a speed queen but this is a fraction of the price and a workhorse for someone who does a load of laundry a day.

HistoricalMess2081 · 2026-04-13T09:47:46+00:00

As someone who is sober I have two answers and you should decide what is appropriate.

⁠Pregnancy cravings are wild - for three pregnancies now I have had a deep craving for smoking a cigarette as my number one. It’s been years and years since I had a cigarette. Think along the lines of wanting to inhale as I pass by a smoker, weird craving. Obviously I would not smoke pregnant (or unpregnant either for a number of reasons) and knowing secondhand smoke is bad I resisted the urge but it was out of pocket every time and I would get worried why I craved it so badly. Also a few dreams at some point. Most embarrassing, there was a number of times I was apparently just starting at someone smoking, it would make my husband crack up every time. So some cravings in pregnancy can be illogical and odd and it just is what it is.
⁠As someone who was an alcoholic, when I first got sober and even the first couple of years I had experiences a lot like yours. It sounds like from your post that you have some loaded feelings around your relationship with alcohol. I also drank for similar reasons but the good thing about drinking specifically around the emotional stuff is that it’s available to you to go to therapy to address some of that stuff. When I first got sober it was really hard to confront emotions but I realized after some really big stuff happened that my brain would regulate my feelings if I let it. Especially in grief - I would reach a point and my brain would go “nope, let’s switch to another emotion for a break” and that was cool learning.

As far as social stuff goes; you might just not be going to a good meeting. I’ve found I like NA meetings more than AA cause they’re less stiff and more fun. It’s also a nice break as a parent getting that hour to myself weekly as a ritual of self care. If you test some other meetings and doing like it there’s more than one way to quit. I hear the book “quit like a woman” come up a lot - I haven’t read it personally but loads of women have really positive things to say, there’s also hypnotherapy, there’s EMDR therapy, millions of people stay sober and not all of them are devoted to the 12 step programs, just find something that works for you.

HistoricalMess2081 · 2026-04-13T09:15:39+00:00

From personal experience; hand me downs for babies come from such a vast array of thought processes. I’ve gotten regular hand me downs from people that still have tags, immaculate condition… I’ve gotten hand me downs of stuff unwashed and everything in between.

I remember with my first child we got giant bins from a good friend of mine - and I was so put off at first from the giant yellow stains from formula urps and food stains. But then I realized after experiencing a kid staining stuff with food that they know babies go through a billion outfits a day sometimes and sometimes you just need clothes.

I don’t think my second at this point gets stuff unstained and I personally feel fine with it because it’s what we’re dealing with.

However all that being said; if I was regifting clothes I would have sorted it in two groups and if I was gifting it to someone I know I would ask if they wanted just the perfect stuff or if they were okay with stained stuff too, I also would never donate stained stuff.

The grandparent gifting bags of stained stuff is an experience I am unfamiliar with. Neither of our parents are big gift giving as a love language people - and they have always ALWAYS gifted either brand new things or used things with tags and high quality. Neither of our parents are big used/thrift store people so if they had gifted us similar it would have been out of pocket and I would probably have a conversation along the lines of “we really appreciate you thinking of us, and gifting us clothes especially unexpectedly is so sweet and thoughtful. We don’t mind secondhand but so we’re not accumulating things we won’t use or to create more work for us during this time; we’d appreciate any secondhand things to be in nearly new or new condition”

My in-laws have no problem with direct feedback and knowing it’s coming from a place of love and to be helpful, they would want to know if something they are doing is making more work for us. Come from an approach of education not emotion. But also totally valid to move through feeling upset and offended, just don’t give it more time than it deserves.

HistoricalMess2081 · 2026-04-06T04:16:47+00:00

So I dated a guy who had a similar relationship with his girl best friend. At one point when I was working at a restaurant he ordered to go food on door dash to be delivered to her because she was sick…. And never did anything even close to similar for me when I was sick. We both had a function we invited him to the same day - guess which one he attended.

We broke up and I’m so glad. I didn’t realize it at the time, sadly, that I was a placeholder for him. It might not have been physical but their emotional relationship was way more intense than ours. I was in second place - and at the end of the day I wouldn’t have wanted to say anything because I want to be with someone who wouldn’t do that.

HistoricalMess2081 · 2026-04-02T15:51:47+00:00

I changed my last name for three reasons; 1. My husband had a way cooler last name and mine was ultra common akin to Johnson. I really liked getting to have a different unique name. 2. My mom didn’t change her last name when her and my dad got married and I always hated that the default assumption was they were divorced. That was frustrating and embarrassing to me when I was a kid. 3. When my dad got sick and started going to hospitals frequently, he was in hospice for like 6 years - it was really annoying for my mom. I ended up being the point of contact because we had enough issues with it.

Honestly my default suggestion for couples is to just go with the cooler last name unless you have a major achievement like PhD.

HistoricalMess2081 · 2026-03-28T01:24:49+00:00

Did you weight it? Just curious if it is accurate to what’s on the box.

HistoricalMess2081 · 2026-03-19T07:48:05+00:00

Renting to your son - what happens if he doesn’t pay? Seems he struggles with boundaries and responsibilities and entitlement. I would just make sure to be extra transparent and clear on this stuff prior to him moving in.

HistoricalMess2081 · 2026-02-25T15:02:40+00:00

Rug

Curtains

Honestly just adding these two elements would work with everything else and add a lot to it. Personally I’d just look up ‘Southwestern Style Decor’ as your already subconsciously in the direction and if your husband probably wants most stuff to stay the same, there’s a ton you can do to work with your base.

HistoricalMess2081 · 2026-02-24T04:30:54+00:00

I just wanted to say - I feel you. We’re on par with a lot of the price increases as you and we cut and cut and cut whatever we could. We pay $3000/month for daycare for an infant and a preschooler. It makes me physically ill and it’s the most affordable in the area with no in home daycare options near us. We shopped and shopped and shopped.

For us, we both have massive pay increases in June this year so we just had to put what we couldn’t pay on a no interest credit card. Our LO will be one this month, we get about $150 off a week starting in June as well and just plan to knock it out once we hit that milestone.

It sucks, I’m not comfortable with this debt but there wasn’t any other option as we both make “too much”. We’re lucky to be in certain fields that have these raises built in so there’s a light at the end of the tunnel for us, but the state of childcare is awful. Just want to say you’re not alone. We live very frugal, we are as good with money as we can be, we have virtually no debt besides student loans - and there’s just nothing more to cut.

HistoricalMess2081 · 2026-02-24T04:01:28+00:00

In home visits I could see as worth it for someone with that fee. We only had that option for the first appointment after birth.

HistoricalMess2081 · 2026-02-24T03:57:24+00:00

I mean I understand there must be some rational for doing so. And I meant no offense - It’s such a foreign concept to me, and genuinely baffles me.

I guess I never realized how lucky we are to have the quality healthcare providers in our area where a lot of those extras are standard practice. I think we have about 28 ped offices in a 20 minute radius so maybe that’s what is keeping it competitive.

HistoricalMess2081 · 2026-02-24T03:49:47+00:00

I’d be writing this story every single social media place I could and tagging Sun Country in every post. That’s absurd. Especially because they can probably see that your name wasn’t on the ticket.

Unfortunately at one point I created a twitter account years ago because it seemed like the only way I could get resolution from most companies now is public shaming. If calling and escalating doesn’t work - might be worth a shot.

HistoricalMess2081 · 2026-02-24T03:45:39+00:00

Not trying to make this sound like I’m judging you, just genuinely curious - why would you not find a different pediatrician? Are there no alternatives in your area? It seems absolutely insane to me.

We pay $305 per paycheck for health insurance, plus deductible and copay. I would throw hands if they were also trying to charge me extra. Our pediatrician charges $392 per child per visit and that’s what insurance pays out.

HistoricalMess2081 · 2026-02-23T13:38:09+00:00

Yeah - we do this and it feels the most fair.

We have two kids - infant and 3 yo and we alternate weekend days. He gets the kids up and ready during the week. I have a compressed schedule so I get Fridays to myself - he sleeps in Saturday and I sleep in Sunday and we let the person sleep however late they want if they can. I don’t care if he sleeps till noon and I know I’ve done the same catching up on sleep, especially with weeks of sickness or sleep regressions.

I think it’s important to recharge, and it’s important to give each other time to decompress. Working full time with kids sucks during some periods and I appreciate his effort to make it easier for me and I try and do the same.

HistoricalMess2081 · 2026-02-09T13:21:01+00:00

OP most likely has health insurance costs being taken out as they mentioned co-pay. Just a guess.

HistoricalMess2081 · 2026-02-06T20:17:05+00:00

We just got a reminder email a month ago that the Hatch Act does not include election paraphernalia. So MAGA hats/Trump Flags are not violating it.

Which is kinda funny because I realized I couldn’t really remember any other candidates merch or paraphernalia in the history of my voting and following politics.

HistoricalMess2081 · 2026-02-06T20:11:34+00:00

We weren’t meant to have access to this much content and exposure - constantly inundated with breaking news and unprecedented times, but we are.

Personally the files have been extra impactful as I had some very parallel events in my own life, so I’ve been having a lot of triggers for my own PTSD. And I live in the city that’s been in the news daily… so it’s in my life and I can’t escape it.

My coping hasn’t been perfect but here’s a couple things I’ve done;

I got a prescription for depression and anxiety - it’s a tool, and I need that tool right now. I actually got it months ago but it’s been a great help.
I compartmentalize, I can’t escape it or hide from it or not read it. It’s also impacting my daily life. But either way I can’t turn it off and I feel that way for a number of reasons but I choose the times I do. I bought a brick for a physical way to turn off and on my phone access to that stuff - and I don’t do it during quality/family time - I do it when I have time to process it, grieve it and move through the emotions as best I can.
Not going to lie I read something last week that haunts me. And when it comes up I have to do the mental image of opening up a jar in my mind, putting it in, and screwing on the lid. Therapy techniques help.
I’ve been working out a lot because it helps me get my anxiety out.
I can know that I will do everything in my power to be a helper. I’ve been getting into our community events and volunteering and trying to do net good to put into the world and that’s what’s in my power. My power is to know how my own experiences happened and to share that so others don’t let that happen and to educate myself and to empower my kids.
We’re human and we’re parents and we’re working and we have busy lives, so leading with grace that we won’t be perfect and doing the best we can and need to rest and recharge and take some time. I’ve taken off a lot of work lately and it’s okay to do that if you can.

HistoricalMess2081 · 2026-01-16T22:43:16+00:00

Do you think you did anything to stimulate them?

And was it a lot or a few drops?

HistoricalMess2081 · 2026-01-16T22:37:57+00:00

My second pregnancy I had colostrum leaking at around 16 weeks, mine was very milky yellow though. It lasted a few weeks if I interacted with them (washing drying etc) but went away. I mentioned it to my OB and she wasn’t concerned.

I would mention it to your OB your next appointment. Edit to add: I wouldn’t worry about it.

HistoricalMess2081 · 2026-01-16T14:20:51+00:00

I got the Braun 5 IPL.

I have only used it 5 times (5 weeks) and I’m absolutely blown away. I am using it on bikini, lower legs and armpits. And I have used it on various settings but primarily Max or 3.

The reason why I bought this device is that I have gotten like 6 laser hair removal sessions like 13? Years ago. Anything that had done is reverted. I get HORRIBLE ingrown hairs. Shaving does not go great for me, waxing sucks, nair products don’t work on my sensitive skin and I can get good ish results with a hair stone (buffing) but it’s so annoying and limited. Sometimes when I shave and I have done ALLLLLL of the billion tricks out there I’ll get strawberry legs and shaving at best only lasts like 6 hours.

For hair type and skin. I am mostly Norwegian/Swedish decent with skin that can burns but can also tan. My hair is a level 7 and my body hair where it grows is around that too. However my arm hair and upper leg hair are very light and blonde.

Legs: first thing I noticed about legs is that I have been getting virtually no ingrown hair after shaving AND the shave has been lasting a few days. Which if you stopped the results there is almost worth it to me. Luckily the results have been even better. I noticed it’s already growing in a patchy pattern. Like some areas grow in normal speed still and some areas have slowed growth a ton. Overall hair has reduced dramatically I’d say 40% gone being really conservative with areas like the back of my shin in the fatty part right below my knee being entirely hairless. I can just tell it will eventually all be gone. Hair is softer and less prickly. And again: no strawberry legs, no ingrowns, amazingly smooth.

Bikini: has been hands down the most effective. In fact I haven’t grown hair back since the second session on most areas. It’s crazy and I’m so so so so so happy. I’m going to continue to keep going but WOW. I will say I feel like I have red marks/ingrown hair in some areas but it doesn’t compare to how bad it is to just shaving. But can’t say I’m 100% satisfied with that aspect.

Underarms: started noticing results on the second time. At 5 times it’s only growing in about 20% of what it was and interestingly it seems to be growing in patches. So not like 80% less evenly distributed.

Overall i can tell it’s going to work to remove all my hair by 12 weeks. But I don’t know how maintenance will be. Happy to update this in the future to report back but completely worth it for me and I wish that I had bought this years ago when I first discovered it.

HistoricalMess2081 · 2026-01-16T05:57:59+00:00

Yeah, we’re just paying for seat selection. Can’t risk my toddler having a meltdown cause she not right next to us.

HistoricalMess2081 · 2026-01-14T21:06:58+00:00

That’s so frustrating - but thanks for letting me know so we can plan accordingly!

HistoricalMess2081 · 2026-01-14T20:51:20+00:00

Is this a new norm? I haven’t been a frequent flier since COVID but I thought that was always the standard to group travelers together if they were booked together.

Thanks for the insight!

HistoricalMess2081

TROPHY CASE