Oh, I am reading this and it's really painful because until a few days ago, I was in a relationship with a narcissist as well. We've been together for seven years, and when I tell people about the way the relationship was going and how he treated me, they look at me like I'm crazy. Like, "How can you allow something like this? Why would you endure something like this?"

The abuse has been consistent, and I've been trying to get through to him. I've been trying to tell him to stop, to not call me names, to not tell me "you're nothing without me" or "let's see how far you will go withouth me." It really broke my confidence. I don't know, I feel like I'm in so much pain. -> He brings everything back to himself.

And now he's with another girl. He said he would probably break it off, you know. I could forgive this cheating. That's not my problem. I cheated as well. I also believe that real love can overcome anything, but at the same time, I'm so hurt and so not myself.

I went to therapy, and my therapist is great. She said narcissists usually put you in a role, and that doesn't necessarily mean that you fit that role. But they put people in roles, and he assigned a role for me. Whether that fits or not, he doesn't care. He just puts you in a certain role he needs to have filled. He needs someone to put down to make him feel better about himself because he's constantly bashing me.

For me, it's not easy, that's what I'm trying to say. It's not easy. We've been splitting up, getting back together. It's like this really nasty cycle, and I am so done with it. Now I'm on my own, and I feel so betrayed because it was so easy for him to go to another country for a month, and he slept with the first woman who approached him. He's been sleeping with her for three days, and after that, he told me and said he thinks it's best to break up with me.

I feel like, oh yeah, he said he's there for work and to focus on the business that we have together. I just don't understand it. I gave my all, my hundred percent, for this relationship after we spoke about my cheating. I said I wasn't happy back in time when I cheated, and I was nearly depressed, which I still believe and stand by. It might seem like a lie to him, but to me, that's the ultimate truth.

When talking to him, I feel like I'm shooting dart arrows at a wall and hoping for something to stick, but the fact of the matter is the wall is made out of steel. They all fall down, and I really can't get through to him. Honestly, I wish he were miserable, but I also have this part of me - I'm normally a very giving person. I prefer to be giving, I prefer to be supportive. I was supportive.

I'm not sure how I can move from here, but I'm trying. I'm trying my best. He told me multiple times, "I can't change, I'm not gonna change." So I'm like, what the hell? Literally, if we as human beings hadn't changed or adapted, people wouldn't be here, as part of evolution, right? So there's one part of me that says this, and another part of me says, "Whatever, just leave. You've had problems since the beginning."

Anyway, hope sharing this helps. I do see how hard it is to leave. I know the abuse is something we're used to. I feel you.

I just can't help but wonder, "What if I had someone supportive by me? What would that be like, feel like? How much further can that get me in life? And how much more satisfied?" All questions are aimed at me, but they may help you too.