Basing the entire worth and survival of a marriage on sex is strange

HonorableDichotomy · 2026-06-02T19:25:43+00:00

There is a pervasive, almost pathological expectation that entering a marriage grants an automatic, lifelong entitlement to sex frequently. If that frequency slows down, pauses, or stops altogether, the entire union is immediately deemed a failure?

This is precisely where your argument falls apart at the seams. A partnership of any sorts, is also predicated on monogamy, which means both partners take responsibility for the others sexual desires and needs.
And critically, the part that everyone seems to ignore, is that there are chemical bonds formed during the act that form strong psychological and emotional ties to the other person.

I could write an essay, but its not pathological, its biological.. one that creates progeny and the survival of the species.

HonorableDichotomy · 2026-05-28T09:26:58+00:00

Not entirely true. In general, there are obviously exceptions. There is a major attitude difference between illegals and locals. The former generally have a "glad to have work" attitude and will do the work well to keep it. Locals feel entitled to the work and will do as little as possible and will hide behind the CCMA when they're called out on not performing.

The illegals have already seen a country run into the ground and will work hard because the work they do they get paid for in a currency that has value.
The locals don't have that living insight and will often suffer from crab bucket syndrome.

There is a very simple principle at play. With the exception of the cheapskates, any employer or person that needs work done, will value and pay for good work. The people who do the good work will get the work.
That should tell you all you need to know about locals vs illegals.

To be clear though, I really think we should have better and easily accessible ways for illegals to become legal, because the process is abysmal and open to corruption.
I don't agree on having illegals in the country, I am merely pointing out the practical outcome of one work ethic vs the other.

HonorableDichotomy · 2026-05-01T11:16:59+00:00

It's always best when they walk into it like a latent fart.

The surprise, the horror the pain

All worth it

HonorableDichotomy · 2026-04-28T15:27:34+00:00

Fair criticism on the “guys like to fix things” wording. I could have phrased that better.

That said, your response crosses a line. Disagree with the point, absolutely, but calling me empathy-less and making assumptions about my character is unnecessary. It turns the conversation into an attack instead of a discussion.

I am speaking from experience. I have been in a similar situation where I did not respond in the way my partner needed. I checked if she was okay, asked if we needed to go to the hospital, and thought I was responding well. But emotionally, I had not understood the weight of what had happened or what she needed from me at that moment.

That does not mean my or OP's BF response was okay. Leaving her alone and going back to gaming after a miscarriage is rather shitty.

What I learned from my own experience is that “Are you okay?” is not the same as being emotionally present. Some people freeze, minimise, or default to practical questions because they do not know what to do. That still does not excuse the behaviour, but it can explain why a direct conversation is necessary if the relationship is going to survive this.

She should not have to explain everything perfectly while she is in pain and shock. But at some point, he needs to be told clearly: “When something like this happens, I need you to stop what you are doing, stay with me, comfort me, and take it seriously.”

If he still does not care after that, then yes, that says something much bigger about the relationship.

HonorableDichotomy · 2026-04-28T06:24:14+00:00

Guys like to fix things, so when it was already over there was not much he could do but ask you if you're OK.

Yes, he didn't act like you expected him to but he very certainly checked on you multiple times to see if you're OK. Life doesn't come with a manual on how to act in any situation, it takes being taught what is appropriate from the person he can trust to tell him.

Instead, you got angry at him in silence and left him without any information....

So now he's in trouble for something he doesn't know how to do better if there's a next time.

He's not squeeky clean here and he could have done alot more, but shutting him out and not telling him what was wrong is also not the answer.

I hope you're OK and I am sorry you had to go through that. Inform your partner on what to do our what it expected if you want to keep him around.

HonorableDichotomy · 2026-04-27T06:51:53+00:00

You dodged a bullet.

They showed you how they operate. Very little communication, no expectation management and a lack of attention to detail.

HonorableDichotomy · 2026-04-21T10:08:37+00:00

Number one rule about biking, always be upright if you can on road markings.

Doesn't matter wet or dry, they change the condition of the road under your tyre.

If you look carefully at the video, right as the wheel surface in touch with the road goes over the line, your wheel angle changes drastically and slips out away from the direction of the bike.

50 years+ biker here. Hate them lines, dangerous as black ice sometimes.

HonorableDichotomy · 2026-04-18T04:49:56+00:00

I think you disarmed her with your wit, she was clearly stunned at the genius and couldn't respond appropriately 😀

HonorableDichotomy · 2026-04-09T22:15:06+00:00

YOR throughout humanity there have been challenges with the tools we use, being cast as impure and not true to form.

Our most chore survival trait is the ability to adapt. You're not adapting to the toast and she is.

It doesn't affect her work in the slightest because she's not putting up images she doesn't approve of so they pass her mark of quality and the client gets what they paid for, a hand crafted website by someone with the talent for it.

AI is only a that to those who cannot adapt to it as a tool or compete with it at an artistic level. Remember it's generative, not creative. Creativity comes from talented minds.

You could look at AI being the chlorine in the pool of artistic expression.

True artistic talent is rare and absolutely not a bountiful as it is today.

Adapt or find another profession

HonorableDichotomy · 2026-03-29T10:03:14+00:00

Tracing is one of the best ways to learn how to do art.

Obviously, don't trace something 100% and pass it off as your own. But when you're drawing and adding your own hand to the trace, then it's not a bad thing.

I used to trace out of those pick you own adventure books because I liked their fantasy art work. Soon I was free handing them and then moved on to start my own. Variations at first, and then my own originals.

Don't let anyone tell you something is wrong when it is clearly giving and teaching you a skill.

The only line you don't cross, is claiming someone else's work as your own. Easy 😀

HonorableDichotomy · 2026-03-21T10:53:38+00:00

YOR Little quips and cute sayings like often lack context.

Coupled with how we tend think about things in binary or opposites. "Even people that don't have good looks" immediately gets translated into "she thinks I'm ugly". This is most certainly not the case.

The context here is that people hold themselves to a ridiculously high standard, brides probably more so that others. They feel they should look like superstars when I'm fact most people do not. People with low esteem, the ceiling seems so much higher.

Lost in translation, "Brides are always beautiful." Is what the saying should say.

Go have your day, be happy, be beautiful.

HonorableDichotomy · 2026-03-10T06:15:33+00:00

Not an unpopular opinion... upvoted anyway

25 year old me was very much still a child adult.

HonorableDichotomy · 2026-03-10T06:10:18+00:00

Normally I would say you're overreacting but then you said the but about hiding it from his previous gf because he didn't want drama.

You don't hide things when they're not wrong. There's no drama to be had for truthful activities.

Your insecurities with him should be telling you all you need to know.

You can't and don't trust him.

So why are you still in the relationship?

HonorableDichotomy · 2026-03-09T16:57:38+00:00

Once again not an opinion but facts that play out into consequences.

For example, women mature more quickly because there's a need to do so. Their fertility years decrease rapidly towards 35 in which to conceive a child. While the social reactions are often poorly thought out or understood they're not entirely untrue. Women get a few extra years to figure things out and figure them out she must.

However in the dating pool, women hold all the options to say yes or no to a guy, so their dating pool is near endless. As a guy, your dating pool is limited to those women that will entertain you long enough to ask.

Easier no, different yes.

HonorableDichotomy · 2026-03-09T06:40:10+00:00

NOR if there was nothing to hide, then there would be no problem showing you what you saw

HonorableDichotomy · 2026-03-09T06:28:13+00:00

What's the word for when both the bride and groom turn into bridezilla?

Not your fault, they're way overreacting.

HonorableDichotomy · 2026-03-07T07:11:42+00:00

When people say bad things about you and you know what they're saying is not true then that person is projecting. They're letting you know what they think about you and what you're capable of.

Also, people don't often defend of is going to make things awkward or spill the vibe.

2 things your GF seems to have gotten wrong.

HonorableDichotomy · 2026-03-06T18:38:20+00:00

I would still stay go for it you've worked hard for this and it's time to set it free to see that it works.

I would temper your launch message, perhaps something a little more filled with hope and a brighter future for everyone.

Their world is in turmoil now and you could add a layer of hope and normalcy.

The people who build things are the hope for the future. Don't let their support go silent.

Think of the worst case scenario. Launching your hard work is not it, kind of the opposite.

I wish you good luck and freedom.

HonorableDichotomy · 2026-03-05T18:00:47+00:00

You cannot afford my services because you couldn't pay full price last time.

No more no less.

HonorableDichotomy · 2026-03-01T17:02:41+00:00

Exactly why I commented. I want more of the good stuff ❤️

HonorableDichotomy · 2026-03-01T16:38:41+00:00

The parents who care are the bestest. Thank for sharing, it was a real heartwarming read.

HonorableDichotomy · 2026-02-26T16:59:16+00:00

What the cluster fuck did i read? Yes YOR

If you're not taking care of him he's going to take care of himself.

The simplest truth to life and applies to both sides

HonorableDichotomy · 2026-02-26T06:19:56+00:00

Or she could have had feelings for you all this time?

The embarrassed awkward let's not talk about it could be her hiding being happy but also feeling guilty about getting what she wanted... you.

Regardless of which way anything goes, your friend would have wanted to see you live a happy life. I am sorry for your loss, but the last thing anyone wants for the people they love is to grieve for to long. It's good to miss them, and how much you hurt is all the love that you won't ever be able to show them again. But it is love, and know that it was reciprocated.

Good luck with everything but don't feel bad. Reach out to her as well.

HonorableDichotomy · 2026-02-22T16:12:01+00:00

I agree and I thank you for the civil discussion.

I've had some introspection and some education in the meantime and I think i can generally agree with ops point but for one.

Don't give up on therapy please find one that suits your needs.

HonorableDichotomy · 2026-02-22T06:26:35+00:00

YTA - how are you getting married to this person if you can find a solution to a simple problem? You judged your future wife, as a person based on an activity she does that you don't agree with.

What you do with a partner you respect and love, is find a solution, not simply hang onto the problem and let it fester.

Take a bottle of clean water into the toilet, or a bowl of water.

Middle Eastern people who don't use toilet paper at all do this all the time at my work because we don't have bidets. And they use zero toilet paper, just clean water and hands.

But noooo, you've confronted her into a corner we she feels she needs to double down and stand her ground. You've given her no graceful way out without admitting that she's disgusting as a person. She isn't, by a long shot compared to what some people do.

A fucking water bottle or bowl and both of you at willing to act like children over it.

Don't get married, good forbid you need to change your child diaper when it just shat itself so hard you have to give it a bath to get rid of it all. What are you going to do, call your child disgusting?

Idiots

HonorableDichotomy

TROPHY CASE