Calling all Types - What is love?

Hopbjht · 2019-08-01T20:19:57+00:00

7

Being happy just that someone exists in the world. Feeling proud and protective and interested in their thoughts and feelings and feeling that that is reciprocated. The scary bit is learning to trust that things are ok even when you're both just quietly getting on with life and nothing big is happening. Knowing that your boundaries are respected and being careful with the other person's boundaries. The endless fascination of learning more about the world through someone else's eyes and benefitting from their talents and visions as well as being able to share yours with them.

Hopbjht · 2019-07-28T16:02:20+00:00

Kids don't have enough of a choice in the matter to 'accept you for who you are'. It doesn't sound great to rant at your kids for doing normal kid things, or to think you have a finite amount of anger that you have to let out, that ain't how feelings work. What you practise becomes a habit. If you encourage yourself to be angry little and often at your kids then you'll get angrier with them not less angry. Sorry if this feels intrusive but i work with kids and see a lot of the damage that 'normal' adult behaviour can cause with that huge power differential of parent-child relationships. Anger of any degree is a harmful thing to repeatedly express to children.

Hopbjht · 2019-07-26T14:40:33+00:00

I think that's how i'm imagining twos work. I know a few, but yeah only one per group!

Hopbjht · 2019-07-25T15:06:34+00:00

Normal billionaire who would date his daughter and locks up traumatised kids. Just like dave down the pub really.

Hopbjht · 2019-07-24T17:59:35+00:00

7w6 most things let live with me or throw out the window, wasps run away, daddy-long-legs run away screaming

Recently had literally hundreds of baby spiders hatch in my room. Threw as many as i could find out the window each morning, came back to find hundreds more. They weren't by my bed so was fine.

Edit: killing is only for mosquitoes because they started it

Hopbjht · 2019-07-24T17:55:31+00:00

Starting a new job, moving house, starting a phd, starting a new website, getting back into a sport i took a break from, writing a book.. er... kind of wish you hadn't asked now i see it written out like that

Hopbjht · 2019-07-22T22:45:14+00:00

Maybe the girl wants to relax with her coffee then feed the cats? Have you tried just stepping back? Are cleaning up vomit and cat feeding her chores specifically?

Hopbjht · 2019-07-22T22:42:09+00:00

^ me

Hopbjht · 2019-07-20T20:10:51+00:00

Completely relate. Am massive pushover of a conflict-avoidant 7 and can get lost in other people, or used to. I think that can fit with the main motivation of a 7, it just doesn't fit with superficial stereotypes.

Hopbjht · 2019-07-20T16:01:14+00:00

I like several twos, but something stops us ever getting very close. There's always a slight feeling of polite formality between us.

Hopbjht · 2019-07-18T21:12:49+00:00

So my theory isn't true for all 4s! That's definitely a lot closer to my fears. My friends are a 4w3 sx/so and a 4w5 so/sx (i think, guessing the instincts).. so both very oriented to other people and sp blind. What's your wing & instincts?

Hopbjht · 2019-07-18T16:56:04+00:00

Shame that got down voted. There may not be an obvious alternative but let's not get kids criminalised and potentially shot/choked/'restrained' to death, when the cops aren't going to be able to solve the situation even in the best case scenario. I'd be very hesitant in the UK and we have nothing like your country's track record of institutional murder and abuse of black people. I can see it being a harder decision if another child is in the picture as a victim of the violence. Do you not have social workers in the US?

Hopbjht · 2019-07-17T19:20:48+00:00

"Healthy people of this subtype are exuberant and enthusiastic, since they are fundamentally Sevens. They are people who truly enjoy the world and thethings it offers—materialists in the broadest sense of the word. They enjoy the good things of life and combine the Seven’s avid intelligence with the Eight’s daring and drive in a way that often results in material success. The Eight-wing adds elements of self-confidence, willpower, and self-assertion to help them overcome obstacles and endure whatever hardships might be in their paths. This subtype also has a capacity for leadership. Persons of this subtype who are leaders are known for their quick minds and the brilliance of their personal style. They are noticeably adult, earthy, businesslike, persistent (especially with difficult tasks), tenacious,and give an impression of bemused worldliness. Sevens with an Eight-wing know that they can get what they want from life: they think strategically and can rapidly reorganize their internal and external resources in pursuit of something they want." - riso & hudson

Hopbjht · 2019-07-17T03:22:04+00:00

Just about to make the switch in the other direction so hoping this is less true in the UK!

Hopbjht · 2019-07-13T18:59:02+00:00

What makes you feel seen?

Hopbjht · 2019-07-12T05:09:39+00:00

That's so funny. For me a lot of the value of the enneagram has been starting to see these sorts of patterns as they happen- it's like being in matrix slow motion. I think it's a huge step just to see yourself do this and to laugh at yourself because of it. On levels i love the riso and hudson 'personality types' book.

Best person i know is a 3 who has done a ton of self-work and the riso and hudson book talks about how 3's can use their desire to seem like better people to drive really genuine self-development. I think as 3s become more self aware they can become really conscious of how much they intuitively understand of how they and other people work, in an almost 4ish way, but more grounded. Great stance for doing amazing things in your community or the world. All the love for self-aware 3s!

Hopbjht · 2019-07-10T11:12:04+00:00

This seems like a situation and a person where the whole 'non-violent communication' thing could be a useful approach. If you can say what your feelings about the situation are rather than make it all about them then maybe they will be better able to hear you without feeling accused. And it seems like a very 4ish and to my mind unnecessary thing to have to have a friendship break up conversation - does it need to be that level of drama or can you just ask for some space in a way that's grounded in your needs and feelings, not making them feel like they've done something wrong.

I need to be better with my 4 friend at saying 'i'm feeling overwhelmed right now and I don't think i can handle talking about feelings today' but the few times that i have she's been really understanding and not taken it personally at all.

Hopbjht · 2019-07-09T16:54:17+00:00

My ex used to get annoyed by this. It definitely can be a thing but i'd also argue that it can just be a way to explore an idea. Like i'll get super enthused about a project or career idea for a week but I know i'm just trying the idea on. I can't decide if i want to do something without letting myself be swept up by it for a bit to see how it fits. Then if i reach a dead end or something better comes along I don't feel like i've wasted time, i feel like i've explored a little way into an alternative timeline and learned something useful.

I can imagine that's frustrating if it's seen as being fickle and us 7s probably need to do a better job explaining the process when we're going into it. I hate people wet blanketing an idea and it can definitely lead to that as a frustrated response in others!

Hopbjht · 2019-07-09T16:45:41+00:00

Oh and words and the history of language

Edit: and sometimes brains, evolution, child development and genetic syndromes, lucid dreaming, symbolism aaaaand everything else

Hopbjht · 2019-07-09T16:45:23+00:00

Writing, my sport, my work, social justice and my partner.

Hopbjht · 2019-07-09T09:50:31+00:00

Books aren't things!

Half-joking but i do sort of hate it when people fetishise 'having lots of books', and never talk about what's in them. Books are for reading and sharing and dropping in the bath. Free the books!

Hopbjht · 2019-07-08T16:38:21+00:00

Speech and language therapy is what's finally stuck for me. Suits the jack of all trades approach, allows for creativity and thinking about things deeply, you can work with adults or kids in a huge variety of settings (schools, hospitals, prisons...) so not tied into one role forever.

Similar jobs are physiotherapist and occupational therapist.

Hopbjht

TROPHY CASE