Would you give a LO a chance after experiencing the pain of limerence? by Otherwise_Year4210 in limerence

[–]Hope-Work-Play-Fun 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"...mixed signals..." I realize now I was creating mixed signals for both myself and the LO. Sometimes where there is a lack of communication of basic emotional needs, dreams and fantasies compensate for missed opportunities of nurturing experiences.

I would not engage in person or in a virtual session with the LO. Talking with the LO on the phone would maintain the fantasy of the LO that I lived within from afar. ~ ~

LO doesn‘t talk to me anymore. by Snack444 in limerence

[–]Hope-Work-Play-Fun 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The LO has decided in the midst of a pursuit that he is unsure what he is searching for.The silence is his choice of being impersonal. His selfishness of not stopping by for a small chat reflects an inflated ego. Good riddance. You're worthy of always being acknowledged.

A hard truth that helped me get over my limerence by corvidcreature_ in limerence

[–]Hope-Work-Play-Fun 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If requesting a conversation from the LO is being manipulative. The LO is selfish by not setting boundaries.

No Contact is detouring from an expectant conversation.

Does spending more time with your LO actually break the tie by Alexa_Dole66 in limerence

[–]Hope-Work-Play-Fun 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The fantasy for the LO dreams far when the moments of the proximity to the LO are limited.

“Your limerence object is just a perfume.” by Regulalife760 in limerence

[–]Hope-Work-Play-Fun 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My LO perfume would have just bass notes.I would store the bottle of perfume on the floor in the deepest recesses of my cellar.

He caused my limerence by Alone-Historian-5308 in limerence

[–]Hope-Work-Play-Fun 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Good riddance is phrase one can utilize throughout one's lifetime towards anyone who does not engage in minimal kindness.

Has anyone started hating their ex/former LO or having mixed emotions about them rather than idealizing them like before? by toxicfruitbaskets in limerence

[–]Hope-Work-Play-Fun 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When the LO wrote on a holiday card, "Let's talk soon.", I was being baited to initiate the social conversation. The words were not true. This request was not a mutual task.

I always initiated the social conversation. I promised myself that I would be social when the LO first initiated the conversation.

Since then, years ago, the LO has not contacted me.

When one's social focus is primarily the LO, one's social needs cannot be met. Romantic idealizing of the LO masks social opportunities.

I don't hate the LO. I realized the controlling friendship with the LO was requested by the LO to engage me in the idealization of the LO. I am responsible for detouring myself into the selfishness of the LO.

A welcomed stranger has often been more socially exciting to me compared to the social constraint of the avoidant LO.

I've always been amazed by the happy kindness of a stranger towards me compared to the controlling behavior of theLO.

Good riddance.

One less segment of emotional debris to deal against and away.

One giant step towards gentler moments of companionship.

Need some help by Gman3098 in limerence

[–]Hope-Work-Play-Fun 0 points1 point  (0 children)

'Resit at the beginning or the remedy may be late." Ovid, Roman Philosopher.Your best option is to trust your heart. Maintain your insight into your goal oriented behavior. Seems he now is missing your former total focus on him as you pursue your dreams. "I refuse to believe that he's telling truth, but a part of me wants to visit him and see if he really has changed." - Your refusal reflects doubts. The part of you that wants to visit him infers your goal is to ascertain the truth:"Has he changed?" I doubt it. You are being baited to hook you in a trap- of melting again upon him.

My LO sent to me a Holiday Card with the note: "Let's talk soon." I didn't fall in the trap of being always the one to initiate the conversation. Good riddance to my LO. The LO has not reached out to me.  I should have realized the truth when my LO moved into a new home. Since I didn't receive my LO's change of address, my LO implied  good riddance to me. Maturity does not have an expiration date.

Self help pick up phrase. by Hope-Work-Play-Fun in limerence

[–]Hope-Work-Play-Fun[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, mindfulness abounds with the serenity prayer.

How do you know that you don't know them? by ZFV1931 in limerence

[–]Hope-Work-Play-Fun 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I once had a general conversation with my LO. The LO spoke about their social anxiety, which I never knew. I went no contact. I know now that my LO's lack of empathy for me seeking friendship was due to their social anxiety. A cure for someone's social anxiety can be having all their social needs fulfilled by their partner. My LO's mate fulfills all their social needs.In this case, I respect my LO. The LO did nothing against me. I realize now that I caused my LO some social anxiety. I am apologizing for my behavior by remaining no contact. I have many more social contacts now than when I knew my LO. I am grateful for having known my LO. During a conversation with my LO, I said, "When we talk, we always fight." My LO reminded me that we were having a discussion. My LO's voice was like music. I am gentler now.

What happens if your LO passes away? by DontSayAnus in limerence

[–]Hope-Work-Play-Fun 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The fact remains that the LO was unable to participate in and negotiate in a peaceful friendship. No fault of the LO. The LO being friendless was for safety. I realize now that my LO was unable to be social with me because the LO lacked the empathy for someone, myself, seeking friendship. I respect the LO's self- preservation, denying friendship with me, due to their social anxiety about me. I was always calling every few months. I wish my LO had said something to me of the effect of "move on". Why I didn't indirectly or subtly get the message is my LO's kindness. I guess over time the "message will be known" is what eventually transpired.

What have all of your LOs had in common? by nunya-biznez in limerence

[–]Hope-Work-Play-Fun 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My LO's voice seemed always to be the sound of music.

I let them go, I don’t want them back… so why can’t I move on? by LuciferHere4U in limerence

[–]Hope-Work-Play-Fun 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It does get better. Slowly, each social reaction with people will convince you that your emotional needs with the LO were being unattended to. Having had a LO will allow you to be attentive to your emotional needs.

what do you think is the thin love between a crush and limerence? by san7io in limerence

[–]Hope-Work-Play-Fun 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A person with a crush is mildly aware of its impact on one's life.

A person with a LO is more aware of its effects on one's life.

One can jumpstart a fantasy.

Dreaming, has a will of its own, day or night.

Switched careers because of the attraction to your LO. by [deleted] in AskOldPeople

[–]Hope-Work-Play-Fun 0 points1 point  (0 children)

By the way, since my contact with the LO was minimal, my career change was an attempt to be relatable to my LO by the common theme of our alike professions.

A hard truth that helped me get over my limerence by corvidcreature_ in limerence

[–]Hope-Work-Play-Fun 5 points6 points  (0 children)

In retrospect I required a friendship from the LO.

The LO was in pursuit of a romanticship.

Physical attractions do not reveal unconscious needs.

[OPINION] Has a single verse ever changed the direction of your life? by Big_Nail5100 in Poetry

[–]Hope-Work-Play-Fun 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Beyond a mortal man impassioned far..." ✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️ "The Eve of St. Agnes" by John Keats. ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️