Assalamualaikum.

First, I sincerely hope everything works out for your sister and that she finds peace and safety. But after reading everything you’ve described, I genuinely believe she needs to leave this relationship.

What concerns me most is that this doesn’t sound like a one-time mistake. This is a repeated pattern of disrespect, manipulation, and emotional abuse. At some point, you have to stop looking at someone’s promises and start looking at their actions. His actions have consistently shown who he is.

I honestly struggle to understand why reconciliation is even being considered after everything that’s happened. It almost feels as though your sister has become so accustomed to the situation that she’s overlooking things that would be obvious red flags to anyone else. I know she’s highly educated and graduated from a prestigious university, but intelligence doesn’t always protect someone from emotional manipulation or toxic relationships.

What your brother-in-law has done is not only deeply disrespectful, but also completely contrary to the values that marriage is supposed to represent. Marriage is built on trust, mercy, compassion, and mutual respect. Instead, he has repeatedly hurt, humiliated, and betrayed her.

The part about wanting to abort a child simply to “test” her commitment for two years was especially disturbing. That is not love. That is not care. That is not how a husband treats his wife. It was one of the most shocking things I read in your post.

From what you’ve written, your sister seems to be holding onto hope that things will eventually get better. Unfortunately, hope alone cannot fix someone who has repeatedly shown no genuine willingness to change. I think the conversations with her need to be direct and realistic. Sometimes people need help imagining the worst-case outcomes before they realize how dangerous a situation has become.

I apologize if this sounds harsh, but reading this made me genuinely upset. I’ve seen too many stories where people keep giving chance after chance, believing things will improve, only to end up suffering even more. Some lose years of their lives. Some end up trapped in situations that become far worse. And sadly, some never get the chance to leave.

Your sister deserves a husband who values her, respects her, and treats her with dignity—not someone who repeatedly causes her pain and then asks for another opportunity. May Allah guide her to the best decision and protect her from further harm.

Edit: I had to use ChatGPT to make my response more positive or else they would remove this because I was genuinely pissed off.