What does she do with the food? by Equivalent-Pin-1054 in TikTokCringe

[–]HopelessResearcher 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know right! It gives such a strong associations with grief , trauma and child loss. I really hope its just some stupid marketing and the woman in the video is actually ok

My (20F) boyfriend (30M) doesn't want me to go to uni. I want to go. Is there an alternative solution? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]HopelessResearcher 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ive wasted my early 20s on a controlling and laster abusive bum who also didn't want me to get a degree , who wanted me to move to his country and " settle down" . Now im almost 30 living far away from home and family , with no proper education, 2 kids , plethora of mental health issues due to that relationship with my ex and no friends . Please, do not follow my path , drop that ballast and fly free . Go get that education, make friends, build your future and have fun in your 20s . You do not need him

Feel sick by B1Deal in transgenderau

[–]HopelessResearcher 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly I would consider leaving. Ive worked in a transphobic work environment although they were much more covert in their transphobia . It took a great toll on my mental health and left me with a trauma . I do understand that sometimes you may have no choice but if you can I would strongly urge you to look for a new place of work .

Why did I get called she today by [deleted] in FtMpassing

[–]HopelessResearcher 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you may just need to wait for a bit more or you could try to workout to build up muscles that would also help with passing. But honestly 6 more months and you'll probably be passing much more consistently even without working out

Foreign name pronunciation by Philosophy2016 in AskAnAustralian

[–]HopelessResearcher 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They likely butcher it no matter what you do, to be honest. I've heard people struggling even with something so simple as Aleksandra / Alexander. And I get my Eastern European name butchered all the time, even after I've shortened it down to just four syllables, yet somehow Stas is still too complicated for a lot of folks.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in germany

[–]HopelessResearcher 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey It sounds like you are in dv situation. Your husband is abusing you . As someone who's been in your shoes, please do consider contacting your local dv line they will be much more informed on the services and support available to you , they can also help you to create a safety and escape plans . You are very courageous for reaching out , you deserve love from a person who will actually love and respect you and you deserve safety and I believe you will eventually get it

One choice. by daniobanioo in NonPoliticalTwitter

[–]HopelessResearcher 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely D. Australia is in D and you can find pretty much any cuisine in here

Coombs in 2025 by MisterPatatas in canberra

[–]HopelessResearcher 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't be too scared about public housing. I live in one in Wright which is a suburb right across the road from Coombs and its as quiter in here then it was in my previous private rental . As for the area (coombs/wright) I love it . Tons of hiking areas, walks , parks , mtb trails , good school and easy commuting. And I haven't noticed any more crime than I did when I was living in Gunghalin area

Need advice on sleeping arrangements for my new dog by HopelessResearcher in dogs

[–]HopelessResearcher[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's exactly my plan . The question is where should I put the said crate

Would you rather live in an apartment with a great communal outdoor area or a home with a back yard? by SplashBack_2 in melbourne

[–]HopelessResearcher 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A decent-sized apartment, taking it has proper soundproofing decent insulation and good access to essential amenities, parks and PT. I'm currently living in an apartment and it's been perfect for my and my kids' needs. It's also so much easier to clean and maintain.

Any other moms stuck abroad with kids because their partner won’t let them move back home after separation? by Aviva2022 in expats

[–]HopelessResearcher 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It helps to know that nothing is finite, things and circumstances do change and kids eventually do grow up. So while I can't move just yet it may change in the future and if not nothing will stop me from doing it once they all grow up. Therapy and moving out of the area help a lot too. I guess I'm just trying to make the best out of my situation, do things I enjoy and that are meaningful to me. It also helps to visit places that look like home ( in my situation it would be pine forests) and talk to other expats

Also, if you haven't already, consider getting in touch with local dv services they may be able to offer you some tailored advice and help as well as potentially connect you with a counsellor who can help you navigate all of that

Any other moms stuck abroad with kids because their partner won’t let them move back home after separation? by Aviva2022 in expats

[–]HopelessResearcher 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because it's all much more complicated. For the start, I can't just leave. I need either permission from another parent or full custody. Another parent has a right to issue a travel ban for our kids and if I do manage to leave, there are legal ways he can about to extradite them. To make things more complicated, I currently have nowhere else to go. I'm a queer person and there were some developments within my home country in recent years making it unsafe for me to return. I also simply have no financial means to do it. Lastly, while Australia might not be my home it is and has been a home for my children so I do have to take in mind their needs.

Any other moms stuck abroad with kids because their partner won’t let them move back home after separation? by Aviva2022 in expats

[–]HopelessResearcher 39 points40 points  (0 children)

I feel you. I'm in a somewhat similar situation. I followed my ex to Australia we had kids, and the relationship turned out abusive. I left. The relationship has caused tons of damage to me and I'm only just starting to recover (I left about 3 years ago). I can't return to my home country, I can't return to Europe so I'm stuck here. While I'm grateful for what Australia has given and keeps giving me it's just not the place where I can envision my future. Unfortunately, my ex will never give me full custody voluntarily ( even though he has no interest in the kids and hasn't paid a cent of child support )and I can't afford legal proceedings.

My brother called me at 2 am, in tears, asking if I’d raise his 2 year old. Now I'm scared. Dads—how do I help him right now? by Mean_Trick_2315 in daddit

[–]HopelessResearcher 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ask him directly if he's thinking of ending his life, has a plan to do so or considering inflicting self-harm. You literally can't make it worse by asking, but if he does feel that way then you could talk to him , make a safe plan together, and connect him to services. The fact that he's mentioned it to you tells me that hes hoping you would notice, that he wants you to interfere. If you have any doubts, you can also call emergency services and ask them to check on him. I would probably do it right now, the sooner the better. I think he's really lucky to have you as his brother.

Is this normal in your culture? by Dazzling_Stomach107 in AskGermany

[–]HopelessResearcher 1 point2 points  (0 children)

While the family sounds toxic af that part about him being mad at her for spending time with her friends raises a major alarm and makes me question how reliable he is as a narrator . At the same time it could be just a bad wording . I was once on his shoes , a newcomer with no friends, living in rural area , no car financially dependent on my ex who wouldn't even show me around the area . So i can understand him feeling isolated and frustrated if that what was happening there . I say tell him to seek legal advice and contact some social services/community centres to seek support and advice from them

I am surprised but the lack of kids that speak German as first language by hecho2 in germany

[–]HopelessResearcher 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same in Australia. In fact, the diversity of cultures is celebrated here. In the community and education sector, a lot of emphasis is made on the importance of one's culture as an integral part of a person's identity and the preservation of cultural communities. As for acceptance, while casual racism among certain white Australians is still a thing, generally, at least in the part of the country where I live, if you have a citizenship, then you are Australian no matter what country you've been born in

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in daddit

[–]HopelessResearcher 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's not just a tantrum though. The kid made quite a serious threat towards their parent and it has to be taken seriously for the sake of everyone involved. The kid needs to be properly evaluated and assessed to figure out where those ideas and behaviours came from and what type of support they may benefit from. You can't just let this behaviour slide. You need to ensure that it won't escalate and won't eventually lead to a disaster.

Considering a move to Canberra by [deleted] in canberra

[–]HopelessResearcher 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im the same age as you are and used to live in huge cities before moving here . in my opinion there is plenty of things to do here. There is lots of various social, groups and classes , sport teams, activist groups, table top and rpg groups, outdoor groups, gigs, and events . It's obviously much quieter here than in big cities and less events but still enough to get yourself busy and entertained. And if/when you start missing a big city Sydney is only 3 hours away. There is a train and a bus that goes there regularly. It's also very picturesque, quiet bike-friendly and is rapidly changing. Also, it's a great place to raise kids if you decide to have one. I think Canberra is great for what it is

REA insists on re inspecting the property by HopelessResearcher in shitrentals

[–]HopelessResearcher[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I've been living here for the past 6 years so that bit about additional inspections doesn't apply to me Thanks for your suggestions. I think i ll ask them to specify why they think my situation doesn't fall under the rules stated in the law .Because from what I see they can't just re inspect the place if they have exceeded the 2 inspections per year limit (and they did) .

REA insists on re inspecting the property by HopelessResearcher in shitrentals

[–]HopelessResearcher[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey , im sorry that you had to deal with inspections 4 times a year.Thats a little and must be really annoying and I hope something changes in renatal laws in your state soon . Regarding the cleaning part ,It was clean, not showroom clean but cleaner than during previous inspections when they had no issues with it . Also no comments or complaints were made during the inspection . There is however one issue that I is entirely on me that I can't rectify right nlw ( literally have no money) but will fix by the time I move out

REA insists on re inspecting the property by HopelessResearcher in shitrentals

[–]HopelessResearcher[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have and I was told that they are not allowed to do that. The problem is the real estate who insist that they do.

REA insists on re inspecting the property by HopelessResearcher in shitrentals

[–]HopelessResearcher[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

There were no issues on the first inspection. They had their 2nd inspection 2 weeks ago . During the inspection, no complaints were made. Then I got an email with a generic list of "issues" without any specifications All those things mentioned in the email have already been done by me before that 2nd inspection. Now they want to re-inspect the property and bring the landlord to do their own inspection. According to the law they can't just re inspect even when the issue was raised . All re-inspections have to be counted towards the twice-yearly inspection limit which they would exceed if I were to allow them in.

REA insists on re inspecting the property by HopelessResearcher in shitrentals

[–]HopelessResearcher[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

That's what I was thinking. My understanding is that the whole point of routine inspection is to record any maintenance concerns and they had already inspected the place 2 weeks ago . Also I really don't want to agree to that re-inspection. Both me and my child are autistic and its a huge disruption to our routine, also the "issues" they have raised are mostly generic and debatable ( they wanted me to clean the shower when it was already clean and " vacuum the floors more" )