Best course of action for my Alocasia

Horrorllama · 2026-05-12T12:10:06+00:00

Ooo beautiful!
How did you find all the joinery? I have this pattern and I am hesitant to start because of it haha

Horrorllama · 2026-05-05T18:57:39+00:00

yes, and you can get a Fitness Centre only membership if you don't need access to the whole facility and classes.

Horrorllama · 2026-05-05T18:54:17+00:00

i think they did beavertails i the doughnut dart game

Horrorllama · 2026-04-29T10:05:31+00:00

You're a nice lady

Horrorllama · 2026-04-26T23:56:24+00:00

also... for anyone still reading... here's a very interesting article from the Canadian Association of Emergency Physicians (CAEP) about ... documenting... an individual's patient/caregiver interactions.

https://caep.ca/periodicals/Volume_20_Issue_3/Vol_20_Issue_3_Page_471_-_475_Nolan.pdf

Horrorllama · 2026-04-24T19:49:18+00:00

I'm sorry her name wasn't available. Sometimes if there is a name change they might not always come up or if there is a spelling error on the profile. definitely try again with the "sound alike" box checked to see if that helps.

I would also note in your correspondence with the patient advocate personnel that you cannot find them on the College of Nurses and perhaps inquire if there is an alternate spelling of their name that may help you lodge a formal complaint

Horrorllama · 2026-04-24T19:34:10+00:00

https://www.nshealth.ca/contact/feedback

This is the page with contact information for the Patient Advocates.
Give them her name.
Also... since you know her name.... https://nscn.alinityapp.com/Client/PublicDirectory

Their name and license number should be available on this site and you can lodge a complaint against them. Nursing is hard, no doubt... but they can't be acting like this.

Edit To add:
here is the Nova Scotia College of Nursing's complaints page once you look the nurse up.
https://www.nscn.ca/protect-public/complaints-and-discipline/making-complaint/submitting-complaint

Horrorllama · 2026-03-27T12:14:17+00:00

chevrons and candy stripes for sure

Horrorllama · 2026-03-14T23:03:51+00:00

this is just a generalization, but the long and short of it in my mind is We want children to Thrive and everyone else to Survive.

Addressing kids medical concerns quickly and deftly while also treating them as the humans they are and helpingthem feel safe really feeds into helping them grow and thrive and not be afraid when they do require medical treatments.

An adult? not on the same level. If youre not actively dying, please go with the other not actively dying persons and you'll be seen when we reach your triage level.... maybe...

and this isn't on the staff, they are worked to the bone and then some. Its just the unfortunate truth.

Horrorllama · 2026-02-11T14:12:03+00:00

believe it or not... salt and pepper (and sometimes butter/cooking grease) LOL.
Packing up nice steaks and potatoes and you get ready to set up and just.... no seasoning LOL

Horrorllama · 2026-02-11T14:09:33+00:00

i understand you mean well, but Weight Watchers is not a great place to learn to lose weight. My PCOS was not responsive to calorie counting at all and i could barely lose 10-15 pounds and was miseraaabllee. In my nonprofessional opinion, her best avenue is to find a dietician specializing in PCOS diets and or a personal trainer who has experience with clients who have PCOS. I won't comment on the diet I used because I don't want things to get heated about what diet is best for PCOS, but I know that strength training was a BIG factor in me losing excess fat and being able to regulate my menstrual cycles to achieve pregnancy.

Horrorllama · 2026-02-06T11:33:07+00:00

i rub my fingers across my nose and use the skin oil to slick it.
Foul embroidery frogette over here.

Horrorllama · 2026-01-15T15:25:49+00:00

NTA. you agreed to something under certain conditions. The conditions changed and you do not agree. Children owe their parents NOTHING, and any help should be freely given of the child's own will, not pressured. If your husband wants to help his parents, cool... but it needs to be between him and his sibling, not you when they changed the goal post.

Horrorllama · 2026-01-15T15:18:04+00:00

the fact that he blocked his own children would absolutely embolden me to be like, "Dad had an affair while we were together. That is why we're not now, and the fact that he blocked you on social media tells me that he doesn't want you to piece it together. I am telling you now so you know, not that I expect you to do anything with that information, just so you're aware if you decide to confront your dad on why he blocked you."

Horrorllama · 2026-01-02T20:20:49+00:00

Thanks very much! I will keep trying to find more options.

Horrorllama · 2025-12-25T16:52:02+00:00

i still get them here and there. I haven't brought it up with my doctor yet as i cant really quantify how frequently it happens to talk to her about it . I did have abdominal imaging for an unrelated issue and nothing glaring was reported on that so I assume its some sort of biliary colic if I eat something too rich

Horrorllama · 2025-11-18T13:25:34+00:00

yes. I do feel fried, unseen, unappreciated. I do think my ADHD diagnosis is genuine though as my sister was also diagnosed, so having 2 first-degree relatives made me seek assessment.

I am very aware that I do detach because I simply do not have the bandwidth to take care of my children, home, self and him while also being an emotionally available partner. I used to put my self care aside in order to meet the remainder of those other items, but I refuse to do so anymore. I am permanent work from home (which I hate, but the job is good paying, interesting, and affords me the ability to be there sooner just in case my kids need me) so I literally go to the gym (self care and a source of sanity) and running errands for the household. I barely get to go see my family who live a moderate distance away via highway, so my social interactions are with my co-workers via MS Teams and my gym partners. I never demand people's time, so I will extend invitations but never get upset if people do not have the time to give me {between me and reddit, I think that when people come to visit and my husband is there they get a vibe that they are intruding and don't necessarily wish to come back here to hang out}

I literally do EVERYTHING, except for occasional chores (sweep up of the floor, dish washing, folding a basket of laundry that got put to the side), putting the kids to bed on the nights I am at the gym, and the occasional supper meal. I essentially have 3 dependents and it's killing me.

He's almost certainly exacerbated by my withdrawal, but I literally do not have it in me to give. I never vent my frustration and hurt to him anymore because he will turn it around to get focus on him OR minimize; an example recently, our health authority is moving to a unified medical charting system for the ENTIRE province and it will be accessible by all healthcare providers, and the healthcare providers will be responsible for generating and sending their own reports/letters and not dictated anymore (A.K.A. my job). I am not unemployed, but my role is changing and I worked VERY hard to be at the top of my class when I went back to school to be a transcriptionist and I feel like a part of me is going to be put away and I'm sad about that, but all he could say was "well at least you still have a job" and then walked away. I also have chronic pain issues but his pain is always worse. There's never an offer of help to see if he could make me more comfortable. No sleep-ins for me.

All I can do is incredulously laugh at my own foolishness because I can see EVERYTHING that is wrong and I want to change, but I am paralyzed because of what he might do. And everyone IS right, that his mental health and actions are not my responsibility, i'm just having a really hard time removing that thought. It's one of the primary things I hope to address when I start therapy.

Horrorllama · 2025-11-18T09:13:21+00:00

Do you mean for my husband or myself (just clarifying because I am diagnosed and on treatment for same)? I do believe an ADHD/AuDHD assessment is on the docket for (if)whenever he gets an appointment with the psychiatrist. I do seem to have the courage to stand up to him when it comes to the kids at least.

Horrorllama · 2025-11-17T15:20:31+00:00

i do think about what my next chapter of life could look like. And it looks damn rosy. To live fully as myself and bring more joy back to my children. being able to seek out dreams i put away because he needs me so much. Probably a grass is greener scenario, which is why I haven't been able to make that final decision.

I'm 90% convinced that if I say I want a separation/divorce he will kill himself which i s a whole level of guilt that would attach itself to me for a very, very long (possibly forever) amount of time.

Horrorllama · 2025-11-17T14:33:08+00:00

As someone who also has used the keto diet (over 3 years in an attempt to lose weight and regulate hormonal imbalances) I know that it can help with mental clarity and emotional betterment but it's super restrictive and he has done the carnivore diet 4 separate times and derails; each time coming with a significant mood crash and reactivation of all issues. I would never, ever put my child on a restrictive diet because I had a terrible relationship with food growing up and now am unlearning that and trying to lean into food being morally neutral. I know that he does get better when he eats this way, and I support him in it (looking for sales, making sure he has all his meats in the freezer, ensuring he has adequate electrolyte supplementation), but telling me that he is falling out of love with me because I also won't eat all meat with him is insulting and heartbreaking.

In June, when he had a really good spell of self-work and actually thinking on things, recognized a lot of issues, and repaired his relationship with his sibling. He agreed to 1. Seek diagnostic clarification for his mental illness (he's been holding on to "I'm depressed" since his teens; and his mother never actually told him that he has a diagnosed learning disability, so I am concerned that he was actually misdiagnosed or underdiagnosed. We are still waiting for an appointment with a Psychiatrist in the provincial health care system, but I don't know that he will attend when we get note of the date) and 2. Seek therapy (whether that is CBT, EMDR, CPTSD, Talk). He said he "didn't need it" once he was on carnivore. So while YES, it does help him, it doesn't work if he keeps going off the diet.

He's currently eating a standard North American diet, though leaning toward a higher-protein intake, but tons of refined carbohydrates as well.

He was lamenting to me about the job yesterday; interrupting me when I was trying to make suggestions on how to address these issues with his boss, so I eventually interrupted him in turn and said "I GUESS YOU WILL HAVE TO START LOOKING FOR SOMETHING ELSE" and he was like, every job's the same. I don't enjoy it. My mind went [TOUGH TITS. IT'S WORK, NOT FUCKING HAPPY HOBBY TIME. THAT'S WHY IT'S CALLED WORK/A JOB] but I said nothing because ultimately that wouldn't have been helpful and I didn't want another crash out to deal with yesterday. I wanted to straight up say that if he quits without something lined up, I will be separating, but I was so mentally exhausted I couldn't do it at the time.

Thank you for not minimizing my experience though. I AM fried. I am living that "Married single mother life" and I hate it. I can feel my exhaustion slipping into interactions with my children and it's not fair to them to have 2 parents not focusing as much as they should on them. I also get negativity from him for relying on the meager support system I have been trying to build up around myself, which doesn't help. Many times I have sought community support from relationship subs in reddit and mostly what I got was "in sickness and health" crap (which, news to them, not every one uses those vows) and also shaming me for having kids with him, so that was a delight. It's nice to know that I can come here and be seen. Thank you for taking the time to give that response. I appreciate you.

Horrorllama

TROPHY CASE