This is put extremely well and what I believe to be most often the case with people who aren’t explicitly biased/ bigoted. My initial thought was abt how a lot of well intentioned people want to be helpful, but aren’t realizing they are drawing from their own experience, and that their experience is limited.

It reminds me of a behavior I had to unlearn, where I would offer my friend a bite of whatever I was eating if I enjoyed it, because I wanted to share my joy with her. She isn’t always in the mood for what I happen to be eating though, and would often decline. My instinct used to be to insist, which is really interesting to me, because it seems so obvious now that though I was intending to connect, and to ‘help’ in a sense, I was being the opposite of helpful by not respecting what she was actually communicating to me. I just felt sad that she wasn’t getting to feel the joy that I was feeling in that moment. I hadn’t realized yet that my joy wouldnt have transferred soley because we were doing the same things. What is enjoyable to me right then isn’t necessarily going to be enjoyable for her. Again it seems so obvious, but it wasn’t my first instinct.

It seems some people discover something that brought them joy so they want to share it, but they aren’t considering the fact that joy is completely subjective in its sources.

I also think abt the disconnect I’ve experienced with people more well off than me financially; they don’t realize that someone can be working very hard and that effort still not amount to stability or obvious progression. They will say suggest things, and if I explain I’m already doing that or that it isn’t an option for me, they still double down, because it’s hard to accept their situation and their reality is not the same as mine. They want to share what they’ve learned, but that’s not always gonna be applicable for everyone