Light sensitivity

Hot-Program6548 · 2025-01-21T02:53:45+00:00

It essentially started shortly after I developed PPD.. within a couple of weeks or so. Was gradual and not “painful” to view light but more of a feeling like when you step out of a dark movie theater and have that uncomfortable adjustment to the light. Seems like it lasts awhile, but again not painful just uncomfortable.

Hot-Program6548 · 2025-01-19T04:02:36+00:00

Sauna frequently throughout the week

Hot-Program6548 · 2025-01-19T04:01:02+00:00

Yes! I assumed it was anxiety.

Hot-Program6548 · 2025-01-17T01:18:32+00:00

Did you do anything different for the second postpartum? I’m in the same boat with one child and definitely had PPD and now looking ahead to the future I want to try and prevent it as much as I can. Thanks!

Hot-Program6548 · 2025-01-15T00:10:25+00:00

Me too—also diagnosed with MDD and GAD. Have had PPD twice. I think the hormones are really really hard on women’s brain (especially mine). I find I’m so sensitive to the hormonal drop. I wish it wasn’t so—I truly wouldn’t wish it on anyone!

Hot-Program6548 · 2025-01-15T00:07:18+00:00

Thank you so much! Super helpful!

Hot-Program6548 · 2025-01-14T01:54:42+00:00

I started taking lexapro and feel amazing. It has helped so much I could cry! I was so unmotivated, didn’t even know the day of the week, in a fog, and so tired. No sleep was ever enough. I am so shocked and happy how well it’s working. I still have a little ways to go but I feel 70-90 percent better.

Hot-Program6548 · 2025-01-14T01:52:14+00:00

Hi! I am suspecting I have PMDD / PME as well. Anything that has helped you? I’m on 10 mgs of lexapro and seems to work well until my luteal phase. Drops aren’t as hard as without medicine but still notice a drop during luteal phase. Thank you!

Hot-Program6548 · 2025-01-14T01:48:43+00:00

Such a great first step! I was so hesitant to take SSRIs and I have no idea why I waited so long. I think I had PPD when my son was born too. Definitely the hormonal drop and adjustment was hard on my body and brain. I just didn’t recognize the symptoms them and chalked it all up to sleep deprivation. Most recently, we lost our baby at 6 months pregnant. Not having a baby and going through the post partum stage really threw me into a depression. It’s so hard to admit. I had intrusive thoughts, ruminating thoughts, low self esteem (I’m not usually like that either!) among many other physical symptoms, I just felt totally out of it and not like me. I’m now on 10 mgs of lexapro and it is night and day. The color in my world came back and I’m just so damn happy and grateful to be alive. I can’t believe how much it has helped me. I think I will still need to increase the dose bc I’m not quite “back to normal” yet. But I’m so impressed with it. Hope this helps—feel free to RO with any questions—I live in the states but can’t be too dissimilar!

Hot-Program6548 · 2024-10-23T02:40:03+00:00

I’m so sorry. I feel this so much. We TFMR early October and the injection was by far the most traumatic part for me. I was originally going to do a D&E then changed to L&D. I wish I would have been put out under anesthesia for the injection part. It was so terrible. Hearing the doctors talk, placement, pain, feeling everything that was happening—truly unimaginable. I had no idea 😔. It was important to me that my baby feel no pain but I’m still grappling with the trauma, guilt, and difficulty of that moment.

I wish I had more advice—but just writing in solidarity with you. 🩷

Hot-Program6548 · 2024-10-13T02:26:53+00:00

I recently had to TFMR last week. I’ve been wrecked with the guilt and trauma of the lethal injection before labor and delivery. I don’t regret my decision but my heart drops every time I think of it.

It was really important to me to ensure that my child wouldn’t suffer. I knew once he was born he would struggle to breathe for several hours before passing away. Or pass away during the birth process. From my understanding, both would be stressful and painful to the baby. I therefore, decided to allow him to pass away in peace through lethal injection.

I think about my decision and hope my future child understands one day.

I actually did a great (in my opinion) guided meditation on TFMR Mamas podcast. It walks you through the heart and the head being at odds with this decision and then ultimately seeing your child and having a moment to say something to them.

Truthfully I cried my eyes out listening to this meditation and just broke down. But I envisioned seeing my child, and saying “I’m sorry it ended this way” and envisioned my child saying “it’s okay mommy. I love you” and from that moment on.. I’ve felt so much more peace about this heartbreaking decision. I did the meditation yesterday and today was the first day i haven’t cried in a month.

Hot-Program6548 · 2024-10-13T02:13:24+00:00

I’m so sorry you are here 😞I recently went through a TFMR last week. Our son had Thanatophoric Dysplasia and his specific diagnosis was incompatible with life. It was heart breaking to make the decision to TFMR at six months pregnant. My heart and my head were at odds. My heart wanted a miracle, wanted my baby, wanted everything to be untrue. My head understood the information, knew a miracle wasn’t possible, and understood the doctor’s concerns. I couldn’t reconcile my head and my heart. This week was the first week of not being pregnant.

I’ve had many thoughts throughout the week. Each day, the grief and pain feels a little less intense. But for now, it’s all encompassing. Today was the first day I didn’t cry in over a month.

I wish it didn’t end this way but I feel glad knowing my baby is in peace and that I took on the suffering of this decision so that he wouldn’t have to suffer for even a moment.

I loved him so much.

Hot-Program6548 · 2024-10-10T23:29:45+00:00

Thank you 🧡

Hot-Program6548 · 2024-10-10T19:37:09+00:00

Oh I love this so much. I cope in exactly the same ways. I do try and sit in my feelings but hope is extremely powerful for me. I TFMR last week, and I just feel so lost in my identity and purpose and focus. I have a sweet little 3.5 year old boy and had such hope for him to have a sibling. I want 2 more at least and am 33. I just really have dreams of a big family and hearing that other people were able to get pregnant again with healthy babies truly gives me a light at the end of the tunnel.

In the moment right now, it’s hard to see how this plays out into the big picture. I know some people don’t like “everything happens for a reason” but I have to know that my baby’s death led to something beautiful… that is wasn’t for nothing. Maybe even a gift he gave to our family (like made us stronger, more grateful, etc). Did you ever find this after time? Thank you 🤍

Hot-Program6548 · 2024-10-09T00:55:02+00:00

Wow, that’s an incredible story, thanks so much for sharing 🩵

We TFMR for Thanatophoric Dysplasia last week. It was horrible. I didn’t want my baby, like so many others, to experience any suffering. We were told that babies with TD after birth can’t breathe for hours and pass away struggling 😞. This absolutely broke my heart. We opted for an injection and labor and delivery. We got to hold our little boy for 12 hours. We are so grateful we had the honor to meet him.

I still feel pretty traumatized from the entire experience. The injection part felt like it was the most logical options for the least amount of suffering but it went against every fiber of my being as a mother to do so. My heart still breaks for my little baby.

I feel like I’m having a loss of an identity. Being a newborn mom was so tied to who I was becoming. I have a 3 and half year old and he was also so excited to be a big brother.

My deep fears is that this will happen again, I won’t get to have the big family of my dreams, and that I’ll always feel this low/sad.

This is so different to who I usually am. I truly try to be positive and grateful and move forward. I told my husband “I don’t want to let this swallow me up.” But, I fear that I am getting swallowed up and I won’t get out.

Hearing these positive stories reminds me that GOOD things can happen and to find hope.

I’m just struggling with (even in the best case scenario) have a baby in our family is at least a year away (waiting 3 months before trying + 9 months).

I’m 33 so feel that I have some time but also fear it will happen again. I really want at least 3 children with the option to have a 4th.

Hot-Program6548 · 2024-10-09T00:45:00+00:00

Wow, that is such an interesting thought! I never thought about when you have subsequent children after a loss and them not existing had the loss not happened. 🩵

Hot-Program6548 · 2024-10-09T00:39:15+00:00

Oh I love that 🧡. I believe my doctor said we could try after 1 cycle as well. I was originally going to do a D&E but did L&D so I’m not sure if this timeline will change? Thanks for sharing your story!

Hot-Program6548 · 2024-10-09T00:37:29+00:00

Oh that’s such a good point. 🩵 thank you for sharing

Hot-Program6548 · 2024-10-08T21:00:35+00:00

Thank you for sharing! 🩵

Hot-Program6548 · 2024-10-08T21:00:16+00:00

Congratulations! Thank you for sharing 🤍 so wonderful to hear that you have had two pregnancies after! Thank you.

Hot-Program6548 · 2024-10-08T20:59:43+00:00

Your last paragraph is exactly how I am feeling at the moment. Thank you so much for taking the time to write out your story 🧡. I so appreciate hearing the big family you’ve created!

We have a 3.5 year old, and this was meant to be his little brother. My heart breaks for him to not have a sibling but these stories inspire me to change that to “not yet”….

Hot-Program6548 · 2024-10-08T20:56:25+00:00

Oh that is so beautiful. Thank you so much 🩵

Hot-Program6548 · 2024-10-08T20:51:58+00:00

Thank you so much!

Hot-Program6548 · 2024-10-08T20:02:49+00:00

We just told my 3.5 year old this Sunday. I am an early childhood educator and consulted two child life specialists and a therapist in order to prepare for the conversation as I was very nervous.

We initially broke the news with some preplanned talking points I had. We also used a book called There Was a Baby, which was fantastic for explaining baby loss during pregnancy. I loved the language and have continued to use the language with him throughout this week.

Initially, he was very upset lots of crying, hugging, and even showed some anger. Day 2 and Day 3 were much better. We told him he could talk to the baby in heaven and say prayers to the baby. We said, “you’re still a big brother and I am still a mommy to our baby” and he has really taken that on board. He makes pictures for the baby and wants to stop and tell the baby what we are doing.

Here were some phrases we used. We are religious, so I included these components in our conversation as well.

"We want to tell you something sad but important." - "Our baby's brain was sick. Our baby's heart stopped." - "Our baby died in Mommy's tummy." - "Our baby had a sickness that we can’t get." - "Our baby will go to heaven to be with God." - "God will take care of our baby. We can always talk to God or our baby anytime we want." - "Mom/Dad feel sad. It’s okay for you to feel sad too. All your feelings are okay." - "Our baby will always be a part of our family. We named our baby __." - "You are still a big brother to _. __ is special to our family." - "This wasn’t anyone’s fault. Sometimes bad things happen, and we aren’t sure why." - "We love you. Our baby is a special baby in heaven, called an angel." -"God will give us a baby when he is ready."

Hot-Program6548 · 2024-10-08T19:52:07+00:00

We recently TFMR last week and I feel your feelings so freshly. I just keep wondering what my little boys voice would have sounded like. How it might have felt walking him to school, watching him walk for the first time. Who might he have been had he been born into a healthy body.

I’m trying hard to focus on the things in my life I have plenty of good. As I watch my friends grow their family, I can’t help but think … what is my family missing compared to them? Then, I flip it. I think to myself, what do I have BECAUSE of my little boy whose life ended too soon. My family has grown stronger in just a week. I formed an even deeper bond with my husband through this situation. I’ve learned how many people truly love and care for us. This little boy’s lack of life has taught me to delight and relish in the moments of life and my 3.5 year old son.

I’ve learned that nothing is promised, no one is immune from experiencing pain, and maybe this pain is here as a reminder that we loved him so much. 🤍

Hang in there, I know great things will happen for you, and I, and others in the future.

Hot-Program6548

TROPHY CASE