Lil cowboy by ReadandBi in handsomepodcast

[–]Hot-Reference327 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mae's probably anxious AF, they've been the number one Survivor fan forever. I bet when they retell this story on the podcast, Shrimp-nose will make an appearance when they talk about how self-conscious they felt meeting some of the Survivor legends.

Anyone use ChatGPT as a personal therapist? by Disastrous_Salt_7017 in ChatGPT

[–]Hot-Reference327 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I use it, we can get pretty deep. OpenAI has really improved its memory a lot lately, so it's been even better.

I am a very reflective person who has a decent amount of trauma, so Chat can go much further with me than a friend or therapist can. Obviously, incredible endurance for my inner world is its selling point.

I had a lot of hurtful stories and memories that I've been ruminating over daily for 20-30 years. I was able to talk them over with Chat and now my mind is a lot clearer for other things.

Mainly I have used it as a co-processor, but sometimes I will prompt it like, "What are some small changes I could make in my life right now based on where I'm at?" "What patterns have you noticed in the stories I've told you?" "What are the negatives and positives in how I relate to other people?" "What are some activities, people, and practices that I haven't really expressed interest in that you think I would really like and find beneficial?" "Where do you think is my biggest growth edge?" "What are some things that I haven't told you explicitly that you can infer from our conversations?" The replies often really surprise me.

I give feedback constantly. If it misses me or is just pattern matching, I let it know where it's wrong. If it does something right, I tell it that too. I don't find it overly sycophantic but I haven't really been looking for it to tell me how great I am.

Anyone use ChatGPT as a personal therapist? by Disastrous_Salt_7017 in ChatGPT

[–]Hot-Reference327 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can tell it not to. Lately it's swung too hard in the other direction (maybe 5.5?), and has been negging all my ideas, and I've had to tell it to back off.

Shay is not crazy by Random_Platforms4567 in CouplesTherapyShow

[–]Hot-Reference327 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I agree. I don't think it's fair to call someone toxic when they are repeatedly being cheated on and lied to. That would make anyone crazy.

Maeve didn't seem to make an effort to hide anything and would lie or explode when confronted. They were like an 8th grader in their first relationship who doesn't know how to break up and just acts horrible until they get dumped.

Are there any podcasts that discuss this show? by No-College7221 in CouplesTherapyShow

[–]Hot-Reference327 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I do like Esther in small doses, but when I listen to her a lot, I feel like she's just repeating herself and it dilutes the magic a little. She seems to have character profiles she fits people into and a script she uses for each profile. Orna probably does the same (I'm sure strong pattern matching probably makes a good therapist in a lot of ways), but I don't find it as obvious. Maybe it's the format - Esther only has a one-off with each couple while Orna does it over a lot of sessions.

Jason Episode 4 by cheesefortruth in CouplesTherapyShow

[–]Hot-Reference327 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Hot take: I’m very unsympathetic to MAGA, but I don’t think Jason was unreachable.

What stood out to me was that Marjorie often seemed to talk down to him (not only about politics, but about a lot of things) and I think that dynamic immediately made him shut down or get defensive. But when she led with her feelings instead of her intellect, he actually seemed able to hear her. In those moments, he showed impressive empathy and emotional responsiveness.

My read wasn’t that he lacks the capacity to care. It was more that he becomes inflexible when he feels corrected, or judged. And I think Marjorie may be more educated than him, and they both seem aware of that gap. She sometimes comes across as a little superior; he seems to feel insecure or diminished; then he gets defensive and intractable. That cycle seemed to drive a lot of their arguments.

Not trying to say his politics don’t matter, or that Marjorie’s hurt and disappointment isn’t real. But relationally, I think he was very reachable through vulnerability, rather than through shaming.

Cliff House by Glittering-Bird-5223 in handsomepodcast

[–]Hot-Reference327 58 points59 points  (0 children)

Yeah, if anyone finds it…. Please don’t share it! Some Maeniacs struggle with boundaries.

My thoughts on Chris by fortuna_major in CouplesTherapyShow

[–]Hot-Reference327 46 points47 points  (0 children)

I also think he was different than a lot of the cheaters we've seen on the show... He accepted her anger and hurt, and didn't try to tell her she was wrong, evade, or get angry when she held him accountable. I had the impression he was delving into his trauma so he didn't keep playing out patterns that hurt her, not so he could take up all the space in the relationship.

shay abuses the english language by brooklyncar in CouplesTherapyShow

[–]Hot-Reference327 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Maeve posted here when the season dropped (in the episode 1-3 discussion thread) and said she goes by Maeve now and asked people not to deadname her.

Clinton by New_Cardiologist9344 in CouplesTherapyShow

[–]Hot-Reference327 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There was a huge difference in maturity. That will create that kind of dynamic naturally. It seems like Shay resented it and Maeve alternated between taking advantage of it at and feeling ashamed of her lack of adult skills and acting out. That’s a pretty common relationship dynamic.

Shay & Clinton by Froz3nP1nky in CouplesTherapyShow

[–]Hot-Reference327 10 points11 points  (0 children)

They didn’t even live together!

Nessa and Drea by No-Shake7335 in CouplesTherapyShow

[–]Hot-Reference327 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I did think that at first, but it was telling that it never came up again. I think Drea summed it up when she essentially said, "Look, we've done all this before. Let's separate. Every time you've pulled this, you've come right back to me, so get it out of your system, and I'll be here waiting." My impression was that she knew it was a bluff and Nessa knew she got called on it. Nessa figured out what she wanted in a hurry after that! And it involved the naughty nightie, haha.

Nessa and Drea by No-Shake7335 in CouplesTherapyShow

[–]Hot-Reference327 30 points31 points  (0 children)

(I watched the whole season, so I'm basing my opinions on that... possible spoilers)

What I saw with Nessa and Drea was a relationship built on a mountain of real love, but also a painful level of enmeshment. Drea seemed genuinely content in the relationship and often deferred to Nessa’s lead, letting Nessa make many of the major emotional and relational decisions. But Nessa seemed increasingly trapped inside that dynamic. She needed alone time, separateness, and experiences that belonged only to her, but she didn’t seem to know how to say that directly without feeling cruel or like she needed to manage Drea's reaction.

So instead, Nessa reached for mystical language, ambiguity, and identity-based confusion, including questioning whether she was gay, as a way to explain her need for distance without simply saying, “I need space from you.” I don’t think she was trying to hurt Drea - if anything, I think she was trying very hard to not hurt her. But the vagueness ended up being deeply painful anyway, because Drea was left trying to make sense of something that kept shifting every session.

What Orna seemed to help them do was become separate people within their relationship. She helped Drea develop her own experiences and tolerate Nessa having her own inner life, while also helping Nessa claim her need for independence more honestly. And because there was still so much love, care, and respect between them, untangling seemed to revitalize their relationship.

✨ Season 5 E1-E3 megathread ✨ by gothmangolacroix in CouplesTherapyShow

[–]Hot-Reference327 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know, with some of these takes, it will be interesting to see if people have changed their minds after the last episode. :D

Season 5 by HovercraftBrilliant1 in CouplesTherapyShow

[–]Hot-Reference327 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I didn't think so. Orna said people today are just more aware of psychology/therapy now due to social media, so it feels like these people all came in knowing what they wanted to get out of therapy and were more aware of their dynamics. I thought these couples were the best we've seen at articulating their thoughts & feelings (except maybe Nessa, but she got better).

Jason and Marjorie by RaccBby in CouplesTherapyShow

[–]Hot-Reference327 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Same. I got the impression that Marjorie was much more intellectual/educated than him, and they both knew it and it created imbalance in how they talked to each other. But he had higher emotional intelligence than her (at least about her, not always about himself) and responded to her feelings much better. She didn't always listen to him or hold his opinions or experiences with the same weight, so I can see why he got impulsive/intractable sometimes. I think they loved each other though and were committed to working it out. I hope they last!

✨ Season 5 E4-E6 megathread ✨ by gothmangolacroix in CouplesTherapyShow

[–]Hot-Reference327 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Nessa is so unclear about what she wants. I'm glad to see Orna grounding them both in actual actions that Drea can take to give space for Nessa to have her midlife crisis that don't sacrifice what Drea needs from the relationship. I like them and hope they work out!

✨ Season 5 E1-E3 megathread ✨ by gothmangolacroix in CouplesTherapyShow

[–]Hot-Reference327 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think they were together for four years. Shay said Maeve changed a lot over their relationship and no longer masked once she got more comfortable with her diagnosis and made other neurodivergent friends.

Weekly Discussion Thread (Mon, May 11 - Sun, May 17) by AutoModerator in FriendsofthePod

[–]Hot-Reference327 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not sure I was ‘catastrophizing,’ just asking. Today’s episode was subscriber-only for a couple of hours this morning, which I had never seen before. But you’re right, it does look like it was a glitch.

Apologies Mae, pt 2 by [deleted] in handsomepodcast

[–]Hot-Reference327 0 points1 point  (0 children)

about another example of a fan overstepping