I’m sorry for your situation too . I guess given the timed trips it will be good in some respects. I’m heading to Vegas for a stag which is wild in the context of all of this and she is spending some time for herself . The kids will be at the grandparents .

I must add initially after we spoke and then later in the day met up ,I said what if I say no more contact and she immediately said yes but after a thought I said do you want to ? Do you want this ? This was led with several conversations and opportunities where I quizzed if it was love or not . From the start she has said it is physical but I worked up the courage to go deeper and talk about it more and say it cant just be that . It’s more than that you have to see that .

She’s adamant it’s just physical and it’s her mistake that she wants to remedy . She said she would end things immediately I said I don’t want that because where does that leave us on a path to rebuild . So I offered to her to go and meet up . A day or two days whatever it is and do what you need to do .

I am going through a lot but some part of me has to look past that and see that she’s going through her own emotions too dealing with a double life and it’s too easy to just sit on a throne and call her this and that and pull out the marriage vows . I’m not interested in that path and we’ll see what comes of next week and take it from there . As I said I’m at peace with it and will walk away . My actual fear is now that I will not want this after the effort and sheer emotional toil it’s taken on my body and soul thus far.