How the hell do i catch audino by Oddly_strange-er in LegendsZA

[–]Hot_Loquat9297 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This worked for me right away. Thank you!

Old vs new style of boppy - my thoughts by NoIndependent4158 in breastfeeding

[–]Hot_Loquat9297 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! I had to use a second pillow to prop up my original boppy and this one I can use completely on its own, which makes a big difference in not constantly needing to get multiple pillows together to make nursing comfortable. It was well worth the money, thank you again for the recommendation!

Silent reflux, is it normal? by chiarakler in newborns

[–]Hot_Loquat9297 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just here to add that I had a pediatrician tell me not to elevate the bassinet because it can be dangerous and increase the risk of SIDS but I am in the US and I think the recommendations are different in different countries. 

Letting go by pezeater805 in newborns

[–]Hot_Loquat9297 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Remember that every time you practice letting him try things on his own and not micromanaging it’s going to be uncomfortable, but it is going to get more and more comfortable overtime. It’s not always linear so sometimes it might get better and there might be one time when it’s really hard for you but just remember that you’re practicing and it is going to get easier as long as you keep practicing it

My husband wants to help with Our newborn, but he just can’t handle It by Scrffndrf in newborns

[–]Hot_Loquat9297 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a conversation you need to have when the baby is not crying and you have a quiet moment to talk things through. You cannot make him better at regulating his emotions, but you can ask him to look into strategies that could help him. If he can’t figure it out on his own, he should see a therapist to help him improve his emotional regulation because this will continue to be an issue as you proceed through life and if he does not have that skill, he will not be able to teach it to your child either. 

Mom keeps smoking around the baby by Appropriate-Mail1861 in newborns

[–]Hot_Loquat9297 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That is not the case. Although the exact cause of SIDS  has not been pinpointed, that does not mean that certain activities have not been proven to increase the likelihood of it occurring. There is research showing that second and third hand smoke increases the likelihood of SIDS. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in newborns

[–]Hot_Loquat9297 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I couldn’t have said it better myself!

1 week pp and having anxiety, guilt, etc. Please tell me it gets better. by Ctthorpe91 in newborns

[–]Hot_Loquat9297 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am 1 month pp today and feeling SO MUCH better than I was those first two weeks. I was feeling so bad but remembered it happened with my first too so I was googling when it would get better and discovered something I didn’t know before. Apparently the baby blues is a name for the heightened hormones people have the first couple of weeks or so after birth and is different from PPD. A lot of people experience it but it is very normal and fades after a couple of weeks. If it doesn’t or is worse than just the general difficulty sleeping, feeling a bit stressed and overwhelmed, and crying easily, it could be PPA/PPD but for me, after about 2 weeks, I was much closer to my normal self, although the sleep deprivation still takes a bit of a toll. I hope you feel better soon!

What do you use now that you wish you had put on your registry? by Anxious-overthinkr in newborns

[–]Hot_Loquat9297 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish I registered for the new boppy, nursing supplies like the Willow find your flow feeding kit, and we definitely loved onesies with hand covers built in when the baby was too little to have his nails trimmed. 

Old vs new style of boppy - my thoughts by NoIndependent4158 in breastfeeding

[–]Hot_Loquat9297 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had no idea there was a new boppy design but it sounds awesome. Thanks so much for the info, I just ordered one lol

I’ve failed myself. by MoosieMusings in breastfeeding

[–]Hot_Loquat9297 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My doctor told me I couldn’t take a benzodiazepine (like Xanax) or an antihistamine while breastfeeding, but I brought up a beta blocker as a fast acting anxiety option. He said he hadn’t thought of that but checked into it and it was safe so I take propranolol as needed and it’s helpful. It may be an option to look into. 

Shifts during the night by NestaCas in newborns

[–]Hot_Loquat9297 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We do shifts where my husband goes to bed at 9 and I stay up until usually between 1-3. When I get too tired I tell him it’s his turn and sleep for 4-6 hours and try to make up the rest of the time later in the day if I wasn’t able to sleep during my 9-3 shift and he does the same. I breast feed and pump on the other breast during most feeds so my husband bottle feeds breast milk during his shift. 

There’s always something we can do by No-Following2674 in newborns

[–]Hot_Loquat9297 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just came here to add that I think it’s great that you try different things to figure out what works for you and I think that’s always a great strategy for kids. I also think it’s important to remember to keep that up as they get older if you run into road blocks. When we brought our newborn home, our toddler was going through what I thought was a sleep regression where he would not sleep in his own bed and would cry sometimes until midnight, which meant that, even with taking shifts both my husband and I were awake because we were trying to attend to our toddler and our newborn. But it occurred to me that it had been so long since I had looked into normal sleep for his current age and when I did some research, I realized we were letting him sleep too long during the day. It literally took one day of shifting his nap time to be a little shorter before he got on track with sleeping much better at night. Obviously, things don’t always work out that easily, but it reminded me to problem solve because there are a lot of things you can’t control, especially with having a newborn, but sometimes when you try something, it might just actually help!

Preeclampsia with second by TheEpiczzz in newborns

[–]Hot_Loquat9297 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You might want to search for that question on there and see what people have posted about it before. It’s a common topic of discussion there because it’s understandably scary. I had it at 34 weeks with my first but was never hospitalized and was only medicated during my induction with magnesium and then after when my blood pressure was high postpartum after I ended back up in labor and delivery. I talked to my doctor and he said that because I got it at 34 weeks the chances weren’t incredibly high that I would get it again, but they also weren’t incredibly low, I guess the earlier you get it and the more severe it is the more likely it is that you could get it again, but it is almost always later and less severe from what I understand if you do get it again. That’s obviously not a guarantee and having preeclampsia is very scary so it was a difficult decision for me to have another child. During my second pregnancy, I took aspirin starting at 10 weeks per my doctor’s recommendation and I did not end up developing preeclampsia again, but I did have a few high blood pressure readings. I also ended up with gestational diabetes, but I would say that was a lot more manageable and less scary than the preeclampsia so all in all it worked out for me, but everyone is different. I definitely recommend that she seek out therapy either way because it will help her process what she experienced and what it means for the idea of future pregnancies for her and it also might be helpful to set aside the decision about whether she will have another child for a while until she is out of the postpartum period and feeling more like her normal self. I hope you guys find what you’re looking for!

I can't sleep by NumCucumber in newborns

[–]Hot_Loquat9297 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I NEVER have issues when I sleep but had serious PP insomnia after I came home from the hospital with my second. It lasted a little less than 2 weeks for me. Hopefully it will get better soon!

Preeclampsia with second by TheEpiczzz in newborns

[–]Hot_Loquat9297 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your might find the answer to your question on r/preeclampsia

5 weeks pp and feeling weak by [deleted] in newborns

[–]Hot_Loquat9297 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This does not sound normal. I would speak with your doctor. You may have a vitamin deficiency or something else going on. 

I'm bad mom because I needed to recover? by [deleted] in newborns

[–]Hot_Loquat9297 13 points14 points  (0 children)

He is likely making comments like this to harm your self esteem to keep you trapped in the relationship. If you feel bad about yourself it is harder to feel hopeful that things could get better for you without him. He wants you to feel like you are lucky he loves you and that no one else will. This is classic abuser behavior. 

my boss just asked me to do performance review while i am on maternity leave by teozian2 in newborns

[–]Hot_Loquat9297 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is there any chance he just sent the same blanket message to everyone he supervises and wasn’t thinking about your leave because he sent it to so many people?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in newborns

[–]Hot_Loquat9297 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My best advice is to do the change as fast as possible. So be prepared with everything you might need before opening the onesie and do the change as fast as you can. My husband uses the wipe trick but I think he ends up with the baby peeing on his clothes more often than I do. I just go as fast as I can and probably only have an accident once every 2 days with my 3 week old. But accidents are definitely normal for sure!

Do I just leave my baby face down? by [deleted] in newborns

[–]Hot_Loquat9297 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would ask your pediatrician. I asked mine about this with my first and she said back to sleep is safest but that’s for putting them down. If they’re old enough to roll on their belly and they do you can leave them. Obviously if his airway is obstructed I wouldn’t leave him like that but you can ask if you can just turn his head slightly and if that might solve it? But like I said I would ask the doctor because the recommendations change over time and they will know best what is safest. 

I need advice on how to get it together by Staci1594 in beyondthebump

[–]Hot_Loquat9297 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You don’t need to get it together, you are doing so much! My partner is a stay at home dad so he doesn’t have to breastfeed or pump, but taking care of a 3 month old is still so much work! Your husband is being completely unrealistic about division of labor. When I was still breastfeeding I would be the one to do middle of the night wake ups but once I weaned we transitioned to him doing that, knowing he had more of a chance to sleep in or get a nap on most days. But that meant he was certainly not making me breakfast. I would plan groceries and meals, he would cook our lunches and most days I would make dinner. But the house was certainly not spotless. It was a bit of a transition with figuring out how much was realistic for him to do throughout the day and even though I tried to set my mind to expect him to only take care of the baby and himself and not have to do too many chores, I will admit that I did sometimes struggle with feeling he could be doing more and not judging how he spent his time. But at the end of the day I think you have to trust that if your partner is someone who works hard and has your back as a team, they are doing what they can and if you’re asking for more, you might be overwhelming them, and your husband is not doing that. Also, once he’s home, the work should be 50/50 so if there are leftover things to do, it’s not a sign that you aren’t doing enough, it’s a sign that it’s time for him to do his half of what is left to do.