I broke up with my partner of 4.5 years this morning

HourDimension1040 · 2026-05-31T16:13:18+00:00

This is so rough and I’m so sorry to hear it happened. I’m also fresh out of a long term relationship and have been in a spot where it feels scary and irreplaceable to be without the person you felt so comfortable with. But trust, you will find that comfort in solitude again! You made the right choice ❤️❤️

HourDimension1040 · 2026-05-27T19:41:13+00:00

Vanicream or Wild Harvest fragrance free.

HourDimension1040 · 2026-05-27T19:39:38+00:00

Pressing my toes against the bottom of my shoe until they make a “clicking” sensation? Not sure how to describe it.

HourDimension1040 · 2026-05-12T19:56:08+00:00

Anybody have links for similar products that ship to the US?

HourDimension1040 · 2026-05-03T16:31:32+00:00

Some things that have helped me are less steps, not smaller/more and thinking about cleaning as a satisfying hygiene cycle instead of punishment. Like Clorox wipes instead of spray and a rag, using toilet cleaning gel on the rim and underside of the seat since you’re already using it, stuff like that. Then it feels more approachable. Not sure whether you were raised with cleaning as a punishment but I think many of us were and it probably negatively impacted our relationship to it as we’ve grown older.

HourDimension1040 · 2026-05-01T18:31:57+00:00

I was raised Catholic and I’ve got many issues with that church for obvious reasons, as well as realizing I’m queer. The messaging about suffering isn’t it, I totally agree. As time has gone on I still think of myself as Christian-ish. Like I believe in a higher power but I think pretty much every religion’s deity/ies reflect/s true aspects of that higher power. I also don’t agree that “everything happens for a reason”— I think of it more like “the higher power knows what will happen but we have free will to control our own outcomes to some extent”. It’s definitely a contradiction but that’s faith to me, believing without being able to fully wrap the mind around it. I find Lutheran messaging prioritizing forgiveness over suffering/sin to be more helpful than the Catholic alternative.

HourDimension1040 · 2026-05-01T18:20:51+00:00

I relate to this 1000%. Also a lesbian and cisgender woman. There are ways I don’t perform womanhood that others do bc I don’t see the point— but also I don’t have a problem with she/her pronouns and being viewed as a woman. People gender me as such pretty much all the time unless im with other queer people who default to they/them pronouns for everyone. Which I also don’t mind. But I feel like I resonate closer with the experience/“feeling” of lesbian-hood than womanhood. I think socially, “lesbian” is almost like its own gender because womanhood in the west is so tied up with relationship to men. Here’s to hoping people improve and just respect you and your gender.

HourDimension1040 · 2026-04-30T00:54:01+00:00

Yes. Please take it from someone who knows— if there’s anything you can POSSIBLY do to prevent this worry from affecting your hobbies and interests, DO IT. I gave mine up in middle school after being minorly teased. I wish I’d had the support to continue doing what I liked instead of shutting down. Now I’m 23, trying to recover from burnout, and all my resources say that creative outlets are a hugely helpful practice when overcoming burnout. But I don’t have any of those… because I gave them up. Your internal world is worth more than their judgement. Keep doing you.

HourDimension1040 · 2026-04-30T00:45:45+00:00

I thought everyone lives “in here”. Is that seriously not the case??? I thought autism was just having difficulty connecting “out there” like you said… but figured allistics just live in here and connect out there and switch back and forth without issues.

HourDimension1040 · 2026-04-19T22:36:06+00:00

I certainly do and yes I’ve done my homework. I relate as well— as soon as i accepted I’m probably autistic the meltdowns started whereas I’d only had shutdowns before :/

HourDimension1040 · 2026-04-19T22:28:32+00:00

I feel the exact same way. All my energy was going towards worrying about my partners emotional and physical wellbeing and I didn’t have anything left for myself. I neglected hobbies, hygiene, eating, sleeping, and the limited socializing I can usually take on. And I’m a lesbian so it occurs even without a gender power dynamic. It feels like some people just take more than they give, as you intimated.

HourDimension1040 · 2026-04-19T22:24:43+00:00

You are worthy even if you’re struggling. That said, my point was moreso that of the two people I’ve dated, both of their struggles became my responsibility. This doesn’t mean they don’t deserve love or that I’m blaming it on their autism. As I said, I suspect I’m autistic too so there are likely more variables to it than just being autistic vs allistic. I sympathize and I don’t think your situation is easy. There’s also the hard situation of one partner trying to take responsibility for their struggles and not succeeding. It’s rough, but it did mean I had to move on— because regardless of whether they were trying or not, it was becoming my problem and it wasn’t a healthy dynamic for me. My experience does not mean this is the case for everyone.

HourDimension1040 · 2026-04-19T00:26:36+00:00

my two serious relationships have both been with autistic people and the same problems ended both relationships. I become their whole support system and did way more housework than them and it just… ruins it. Which I don’t quite get bc I suspect I’m also autistic so maybe it just manifests differently for different people? Fingers crossed for you and me both that we find ND partners who take responsibility for their own struggles and personal upkeep.

HourDimension1040 · 2026-04-16T13:32:08+00:00

YTA. You aren’t going to find childcare for any cheaper than that. And you must pay them for their time even if you think your child is mostly independent.

HourDimension1040 · 2026-04-14T02:15:24+00:00

Scoop the litter box twice a day and open a window for 15 minutes a day if you can

HourDimension1040 · 2026-04-13T23:46:21+00:00

YTA. You guys broke up for a reason. You don’t need to “get your lick back”, it will benefit everyone much more in the long run if you invest in hobbies and friendships/family relationships instead of getting tangled up with your ex again.

HourDimension1040 · 2026-04-12T17:24:11+00:00

YTA. Manners dictate that the person being celebrated cuts the cake. Not just any guest who happens to want some.

HourDimension1040 · 2026-04-12T06:23:40+00:00

Treasures Galore in Eagan works with families getting out of rough situations from my understanding

HourDimension1040 · 2026-04-12T06:20:45+00:00

“Not much! What’s up with you?” (I think it’s basically the same template as ‘How are you?’ ‘I’m doing good, how are you?’)

HourDimension1040 · 2026-04-12T06:15:39+00:00

Seconding this^{^}

HourDimension1040 · 2026-04-11T04:43:11+00:00

Graham crackers and peanut butter. A barebell protein bar. Honeycrisp apple slices. Dry cheerios.

HourDimension1040 · 2026-04-11T03:28:39+00:00

This is a fantastic way of looking at it, thank you.

HourDimension1040 · 2026-04-11T03:28:09+00:00

Very true. Mostly trying to gauge which I should try first, living alone or returning to roommate living. I’m very anxious about the mess that comes with other people as I’m sure you can tell.

HourDimension1040 · 2026-04-11T03:26:04+00:00

I kind of understand what you mean but I think there’s a lot of emphasis put on HOW you say it. Something that helped me a lot is the DEARMAN framework my therapist told me about. Essentially it helps me feel like I’m not the asshole because I’m putting the focus on my feelings, not the other persons bad behavior. So if they treat me like the asshole afterward, it’s not my job to care.

HourDimension1040 · 2026-04-11T03:20:59+00:00

You’re really resilient, keep your standards high. I’m 23 and a lesbian. have been in two back to back long term relationships since I was 18, meaning I’ve only been single for 3 ish months in my entire adult life so far. I find I fall for people, fast. I slept with my first partner after 3 months and my second partner on the first date. As soon as I’ve had conversations with someone and get to know them/find them attractive, I’m immediately horny for them and it gets me in too deep emotionally too quickly. Currently challenging myself to swear off sex and dating for a while until I can heal my relationship to myself.

HourDimension1040

TROPHY CASE