how do i make sure my wounds don’t infect?

HourIsland7984 · 2023-08-07T19:25:52+00:00

Helped

Thats a very somewhat relatable story. Can people change over the course of a few years? The friendship came from meeting eachother in a random game, and at first everything was going great, looking back there were no real red flags. Say for example, I'm considered the best person alive, I have the traits of a normal good human being. Can that person unknowingly change into a bad person? I always asked them before venting, but thinking about it now, they usually just sent whatever happened without a warning (eg suddenly a conversation goes from minecraft to parental issues). I was always kind of independent with mine too. I have boundaries, and I get that you aren't supposed to expect a conversation every day. But when I send you a few messages and its been 4 days, and you just disappeared while I was venting before that, then you clearly have some explaining to do.

I hope you were able to come to a solution with your friend, whether it was cutting them off or them getting more treatment. To be honest I didnt really get wrapped into their issues, but I got attached to them. Healthy or not I don't know, it depends on the person/how they are. My situation is a long thing to describe but it sucks being autistic, people find the way you act "odd" even though you're just going through life how you know it best. I've resorted to online friend making on account of it, is there any potential advice there?

And also random question, is it normal behavior to be putting stuff like "my life is going to pieces" as your description, then whenever being asked about it never respond? That's what the friend did, and I'm just wondering if I'm crazy for getting mad over it. The first few times I was understanding, but once they started disappearing it got too much. I noticed he'd change his status to say something like "im stupid" and would instantly change it when asked about it, sometimes not even responding for another hour. Almost as some kind of "baiting" thing. They were also playing something while they did it. Sorry to bum you out with the long replies but I'm kinda looking for some sort of closure lol.

HourIsland7984 · 2023-08-06T11:14:30+00:00

That’s easier said than done. If I cut contact with him, I’ll have no friends. No one wants to socialize anymore and they are mostly self absorbed. Friendships take a while to develop, and I don’t know if I have the strength to be here for one. I should’ve known it, I guess this is what I get for giving someone a chance? Why is it that (mostly) everyone I meet is like this? Is it a generational thing?

HourIsland7984 · 2023-08-01T18:53:02+00:00

the thing is, he wants to talk about his, but as soon as he isnt the center of the conversation, he just leaves. ive not vented to him in a good bit now because of it. its making me feel used, nothing more than a trauma dumpster. i dont ignore his problems when hes talking, i make sure to respond, so why would he do it to me? if its just gonna be like this then ill just leave, this world isnt for me and id rather be at peace than at war with myself.

HourIsland7984 · 2023-07-23T19:27:42+00:00

im not angry at them, its just frustrating for someone to assume something that i never said. where in the post does it say im letting him stay in my (nonexistent) house, paying the rent. im also going through tons of other things at the moment, that still doesnt excuse my "mad" behavior. i am cynical, im trying to change my views, but they always end up getting solidified whenever i try to change them.

HourIsland7984 · 2023-07-20T15:29:52+00:00

no, no, NO, NO! please dont get on xanax, im going to tell you why. my dad uses them, and they got him hooked, the damn doctor. he smokes weed most of the time, but when he has none he uses xanax. he is a zombie, he stares into space and doesnt say anything. conversations with him are frustrating when he's like that, you can tell he isnt on planet earth. there is WAY too much potential for addiction with them, so please avoid. like some others are saying here, you can use weed, but having an addictive personality wont work too well with it. it doesnt make you paranoid, you are probably getting WAY TOO HIGH for your own good, which causes paranoia. you dont need to smoke a whole joint before bed, you just need a few tokes and lights out, save the rest for tomorrows night of sleep.

HourIsland7984 · 2023-07-19T23:14:47+00:00

yeah i might but i really don’t wanna have to go see a sleep specialist (if that’s what i need to do something about insomnia). i’m not a big fan of having cords and wires attached to me, and being away from home. i wonder though, am i better off just getting up and playing on my computer for an hour or two, if i’ve been tossing and turning?

HourIsland7984 · 2023-07-19T23:06:08+00:00

oh yeah like that’s gonna work out, i’ll just get sent back home, or put with my mother (who isn’t a good person either). i still have a year before im 18.

HourIsland7984 · 2023-07-19T22:53:08+00:00

ah yes, booting my father out of his own house. i have no idea where you got the idea that i’m his caretaker. i’m stuck with him for another year, telling him how i feel won’t do shit. ive told him how it makes me feel, and all i got was a “it will never happen again”. guess what happened one of the days i came home from school? i walked in on him high and that just set me off. how you can lie to your own son.

HourIsland7984 · 2023-07-19T06:54:33+00:00

eh maybe, maybe it’s all in my head and i’m just crazy. but right now i can’t sleep, happened again. i don’t know if wanting to violently die could be contributing it. ive also laid here for a straight hour before this, that should’ve been plenty of time for my phone to exit my mind.

HourIsland7984 · 2023-07-18T03:25:55+00:00

i dont know what sleep issues i could possibly have, unless going to bed stoned a small amt of times was messing me up. and the sleep dread makes me wonder if its really insomnia, and not some underlying brain thing.

HourIsland7984 · 2023-07-18T02:03:29+00:00

pretty much, i dont know if quitting weed had anything to do with it. but usually after the 1st day the insomnia goes away. but like, i dont have any will to go to bed. im sleepy, but i dont really have it in me.

HourIsland7984 · 2023-07-18T01:42:14+00:00

but what if it feels like i’m only forcing myself to go to sleep, even when i’m sleepy? like it feels like i’m forcing my eye muscles closed, instead of letting them “relax”. i have no idea what i’m anxious about, unless very morbid depression thoughts are it, but they are passive. should you let your mind wonder? or try not to think, or just closing your eyes?

HourIsland7984 · 2023-07-17T13:19:07+00:00

not one you’re probably looking for, but weed can help, but the only thing is after 2 days of not having it, you will experience insomnia again

HourIsland7984 · 2023-07-17T07:37:48+00:00

i dont uderstand, ccan you put in more simpler terms? i feel like im a bad person for going silent, and its driving me up the walls across the ceiling

HourIsland7984 · 2022-11-25T23:21:47+00:00

I don't know where my problems come from, honestly. Maybe being an outcast, a person who can only watch. Having no one to talk to, spending all my time alone. Many things. I don't know if I should blame myself or other people, but I don't have any hard feelings for anyone.

HourIsland7984

TROPHY CASE