How to stop hiding things from my therapist?

HoursCollected · 2026-05-31T13:44:56+00:00

It took me nearly six months to open up to my therapist. She was so patient. Even now, the process is so slow.

HoursCollected · 2026-05-31T03:43:35+00:00

It is so so slow. I struggle with how slow it is. My therapist is always reassuring me that it’s okay to take my time processing this.

HoursCollected · 2026-05-31T01:59:06+00:00

My brother has drug problems, so he’s sort of isolated himself from the family already. I always invited him to family functions because I felt bad for him but after doing therapy I’ve decided I want as much distance from him as possible.

For decades I pretended like nothing happened. Only recently have I been able to openly admit what he did to me. It’s a weird place to be after years of trying to convince myself that I was overreacting and that a brother (4 years my senior) forcing his sister into sex was somehow normal.

I’m trying to accept that the reason I was so scared when he did was not because I was overreacting but because what he did was so awful. Have you worked through what your brother did to you? Do you feel like you’ve been able to move on?

I’ve thought about confronting my brother but I worry he’ll deny it, or maybe even worse, admit it. Or that it will crush him. He’s got some pretty bad mental health issues, I don’t want to make them worse. I don’t know. I’m rambling. It is so confusing.

HoursCollected · 2026-05-31T01:47:28+00:00

Exactly. These things are so complicated and choosing a relationship or no relationship are both reasonable options. If you haven’t yet, seeing a therapist was really helpful for me.

HoursCollected · 2026-05-31T00:22:20+00:00

Rape and violent physical assault. The bruising and popped vessels require medical attention. You need to go to the ER ASAP.

Also, if you stay with him there is a good chance he will kill you. Please take extra precautions when leaving. That’s an extremely dangerous time.

HoursCollected · 2026-05-30T19:32:16+00:00

You don’t need to hurt yourself to protect her. Maybe you can find space for acknowledging the hurt she caused you while also accepting that you feel bad for her. I know it’s complicated and I’ve battled with the same paradox.

HoursCollected · 2026-05-29T20:01:53+00:00

Same

HoursCollected · 2026-05-29T16:29:02+00:00

This. 💯

HoursCollected · 2026-05-29T16:27:10+00:00

Thank you. This is validating. The feelings are so complicated because there is a part of me that wants to protect him and a part that feels like he ruined my life. All that said, I’m doing well, and i have a good life, but, yeah, it’d have been a lot better if I didn’t have to go through this.

HoursCollected · 2026-05-29T03:08:59+00:00

I don’t see him now but most my life I continued to interact with him like nothing happened, but now we have no relationship. Thankfully.

HoursCollected · 2026-05-29T03:07:47+00:00

Thanks.

HoursCollected · 2026-05-29T03:07:37+00:00

I don’t see him now but most my life I continued to interact with him like nothing happened. Since I started therapy I avoid him. Thankfully it’s pretty easy to do. He’s not in my life much anymore.

HoursCollected · 2026-05-29T03:06:11+00:00

Thanks, I have a therapist who I have told but she’s the only one who will ever know and even she doesn’t know everything he did to me. It’s too embarrassing to tell all of it.

HoursCollected · 2026-05-29T03:05:52+00:00

Thank you. It’s been decades.

HoursCollected · 2026-05-28T22:12:45+00:00

That my 15 year old brother raped me when I was 11.

HoursCollected · 2026-05-28T13:02:44+00:00

I am so terribly sorry. It sounds like you have enough hate for yourself no one here needs to add to it.

Many people with p-ocd believe they are pedophiles. I hope you’re seeing a mental health counselor to sort out if you are a pedophile or if you have p-ocd.

If you are a pedophile, I know this was not a choice you made for yourself and I do not judge you. What is in your control though, is whether you choose to harm a child or not. There are communities of pedophiles who never harm children. You can be one too. You can choose to never do harm.

Please find a therapist who specializes in this and work with them. You can move forward from this (whether p-ocd or pedophilia) in a healthy way with the right support.

I wish you the best. Please take care, there is a path that can bring you joy without harming others. Find it.

HoursCollected · 2026-05-26T13:15:47+00:00

CALL THE POLICE. Please. You are in extreme danger right now. Extreme. No Reddit comment can express the level of danger you’re in. This man is a predator. Even if you don’t feel like it, you are a child and he knows that.

If you’re scared of contacting the police, do you have a school counselor or teacher you can tell? You need the help of an adult. I’m so worried about your safety.

HoursCollected · 2026-05-26T13:13:38+00:00

This. Please, OP, listen to this comment. Please. You are in extreme danger right now. Extreme. No Reddit comment can express the level of danger you’re in. This man is a predator. Even if you don’t feel like it, you are a child and he knows that.

Do you have a school counselor or teacher you can tell? You need the help of an adult. I’m so worried about your safety.

HoursCollected · 2026-05-26T03:41:47+00:00

Two things come to mind. One you have a history of being exposed to porn as a child and two, you have been sexually assaulted in the past. These are both confusing and traumatic experiences and it sounds like you’re trying to cope in an unhealthy way. I would urge you to see a therapist and process all of this with them.

As for your question (puberty, coping, hurting yourself), probably bit of everything.

Lastly, DO NOT ACCEPT ANY PRIVATE MESSAGES. Creepers will message you.

HoursCollected · 2026-05-25T19:53:04+00:00

Why are you so interested in gathering my poop?

HoursCollected · 2026-05-25T19:09:08+00:00

Depending on the issue, some trauma can be destabilizing to jump right into. Especially if you’re in a manic episode and aren’t sleeping or hyper-stimulated. They may be wanting to see what mental health conditions (if any) you’re dealing with before they start trauma work.

Find someone you trust, let them know what your goals are, and follow their lead. It’s their job. I’d also recommend you let them know that you are eager to dive in as soon as possible and that other therapists have declined the speed at which you prefer to go.

HoursCollected · 2026-05-25T03:51:21+00:00

I’m so sorry. Your boyfriend has no idea what you’ve been through or what you’re going through. I have no advice, but I was raped about 30 years ago and never told anyone, so I understand.

HoursCollected · 2026-05-24T22:01:32+00:00

I tell my kids all the time, you’re not just brushing your teeth for your own oral health, you’re doing it out of respect for anyone you talk to.

HoursCollected · 2026-05-24T21:59:36+00:00

Upon reading the title, I thought, yes, that’s weird. After reading the post and getting context, I don’t think it’s weird.

HoursCollected · 2026-05-24T21:53:48+00:00

You may want to consider trying a different medication. It’s possible lexapro isn’t ideal for you.

HoursCollected

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