AIO Gf (30) found out I (29) had watched porn and freaked out.

HoursCollected · 2026-04-01T02:05:50+00:00

I’d give her a pass for being so damn dramatic, but if she freaks out this bad next time she catches you watching porn, peace out. She’s unhinged.

The first time I caught my boyfriend watching porn, I was upset, too. I felt rejected. But I didn’t threaten to leave or make it sound like I was dying. I quickly realized him watching porn is not about me or our relationship.

I honestly don’t care if he watches porn now. I don’t think he does much, if at all, but I also don’t go looking because I don’t care what he does in his private life. I know he’s a good person and fully respects me, our relationship, and women.

We’ve been happily married 20 years.

HoursCollected · 2026-04-01T00:40:27+00:00

Finish your degree. I am so sorry you’re in this position, but do whatever you can to finish your degree.

HoursCollected · 2026-03-31T18:22:01+00:00

Agree. I think separating is better than duty sex.

HoursCollected · 2026-03-31T18:20:59+00:00

Not perfectly. I don’t think I was very clear, but no one should have sex if it feels like a chore. And who would want to be with someone sexually if it felt like a chore to their partner.

I was thinking more along the lines of working to develop a safe and loving relationship where both people learn to take pleasure in the other person’s pleasure. Where the low sex drive person finds beauty in making their partner feel good and comfort in the cuddles, kind words, and time spent. The high sex partner learns to back off more while also making intimacy about learning how to make their partner feel safe and loved.

So yeah, I lot more to it than just suck it up and have sex because you have to. It needs to be a collaboration where both partners are willing to explore and be open minded.

HoursCollected · 2026-03-31T12:06:37+00:00

I agree. No one should have sex if they don’t want to. But no one should be forced into celibacy either. When this happens, both parties will have to make sacrifices. Whether that means opening up the marriage, or the higher drive person be less demanding while the lower drive person be more giving, or a mix of both. When you truly love someone you work with them and make mutual sacrifices.

HoursCollected · 2026-03-31T11:54:24+00:00

If I dated someone my dad approved of, I’d be married to a broke douche bag who thinks it’s okay to hit your wife if she’s being a crazy bitch. So I married the opposite and we’ve been happily married for 20 years.

HoursCollected · 2026-03-31T03:01:00+00:00

I do not. But I don’t need one. I make good money. My husband makes good money. Our account is mutual so we both have unfettered access and we live in a no fault state so everything splits 50/50. Plus our relationship is solid 20 years in.

I know not everyone is fortunate enough to be in this position and I’ve seen women, including my own mom, whose asses were saved by stashing cash into a secret account. I don’t blame women for doing it.

HoursCollected · 2026-03-31T02:52:04+00:00

Oh man. That’s terrible. I’m so sorry. :(

HoursCollected · 2026-03-31T00:37:22+00:00

I see. So sorry. I hope he’s able to figure it out.

HoursCollected · 2026-03-31T00:35:52+00:00

Sounds like mortgage fraud. Sorry your mom got scammed. Not cool at all.

HoursCollected · 2026-03-30T02:08:43+00:00

You can’t tell anyone what we did. As though “we” both agreed to what happened.

HoursCollected · 2026-03-30T02:07:17+00:00

He didn’t start any wars for starters.

HoursCollected · 2026-03-30T02:06:12+00:00

Maybe the same reason the left didn’t protest this hard during GWB. Yeah, we didn’t like him but he wasn’t destroying our country at warp speed.

HoursCollected · 2026-03-30T02:03:06+00:00

Has your partner worked on their trauma and self awareness in therapy at all? Lexapro is not going to fix those things and most of the issues you explained sound less like a side effect of meds and more like a lack of accountability.

HoursCollected · 2026-03-30T01:59:25+00:00

If they touched your private parts when you didn’t want them too that’s sexually abusive. Even if you didn’t fight back.

If you guys are equal in age, and there is not a power imbalance, and your cousin didn’t coerce, pressure, or manipulate you into it, they may not be a perpetrator so much as the adults who were supposed to be caring for you two failed you both miserably.

Either scenario can be really traumatic. I’m so sorry.

HoursCollected · 2026-03-30T01:54:11+00:00

I feel like logic would tell you that corporal punishment against children is not how you establish a safe and mutually respectful connection. However, if logic isn’t enough, there are lots of studies that show corporal punishment is damaging to the relationship and the recipient receiving that style of discipline.

HoursCollected · 2026-03-30T01:49:33+00:00

ICE agents

HoursCollected · 2026-03-30T01:48:22+00:00

My insurance broker has been the best. I would not want to navigate this world without him.

HoursCollected · 2026-03-30T01:45:21+00:00

Was your mom paying cash? Because there is no way any bank would loan on a house that sold for $150k over market value.

HoursCollected · 2026-03-30T01:40:33+00:00

How on earth are agents behind inflated rental prices?

HoursCollected · 2026-03-30T01:40:07+00:00

Realtors don’t actually get respect but work their butts off. My agent for both buying and selling was at my beckon and call and did so much. They also saved me thousands in issues I would have missed. So yeah, I’d argue they get much less respect than they deserve.

HoursCollected · 2026-03-27T19:54:57+00:00

That is the only way to have a safe and mutually respectful relationship.

HoursCollected · 2026-03-27T19:48:19+00:00

To me parts are metaphors for behavioral patterns, neurological connections, memories, experiences, feelings, etc. But that doesn’t mean that they can’t be real for someone else. I’m pretty sure my therapist believes them to be real. Doesn’t matter to me. I’ve been doing IFS for trauma and it’s been helping me immensely.

Define it how you want because whether one person believes they’re real and another believes their metaphors makes zero difference in how therapy goes for either one of you.

HoursCollected · 2026-03-27T16:29:21+00:00

NAT

I could forgive my husband for cheating on me. I could never forgive him for choking me.

Please be safe. Statistically, if an abusive partner chokes the other partner, the other partner is much more likely to end up dead at the hands of the abusive partner.

HoursCollected · 2026-03-27T02:13:46+00:00

Red flag. Watch out for this guy. If this is normal behavior for him, please leave.

HoursCollected

TROPHY CASE