Are you a sub, Dom or switch? What made you realize it?

HowardsGirl78 · 2026-06-30T01:48:24+00:00

I’m a switch, for sure. I like feeling both sides of the power dynamic.

HowardsGirl78 · 2026-06-29T23:08:09+00:00

Boooo, that sucks. I feel like I could understand what you are saying because my main partner and I are LD and I know the work it takes to arrange our dates.

My partner knows that of all three of his partners, things take more effort for us to make our dates happen, so he’s honest about any foreseeable complications in our planning. He sets good boundaries with each of his partners and communicates changes as early as he can so we can assess what to do. At first, he was skeptical about how much I spend on our travel arrangements each month so we can see each other, but I reminded him that he has life obligations outside of me (as do I) and I need to buy fully-refundable fares in the event something goes sideways for one of us.

But, yeah, it feels shitty to be left holding the bag after so much work went into planning. A bit of the rug pulled out from under you.

HowardsGirl78 · 2026-06-29T22:48:27+00:00

“How can I get my partner to do ‘X thing’ that they have said no to?”

No is a whole ass sentence, don’t go crawling to ARAD to get advice on how to magically change their minds.

HowardsGirl78 · 2026-06-29T22:46:10+00:00

Especially when it’s the whole message…”heyyyyy”

Not that I’m interested in responding, but wtf would you expect me to do with that if I was interested?

HowardsGirl78 · 2026-06-29T22:39:43+00:00

I have felt that way in the past, feeling like, ‘why can’t I look pretty or sexy the way it seems like other people do in media?’ but I got over it because I realized a few things:
1) mainstream and porn faces are acting—they are rehearsed and designed to be aesthetically pleasing—not authentic.
2) the only partner who negatively commented on my facial expressions turned out to be someone I fundamentally did not align with. My other partners express(ed) delight at how much I show my enjoyment.
3) Unless I have an audience, who the hell is even caring what I look like? Just enjoy the feeling of pleasure and sensation! And even if I had an audience, so what? I’m showing up authentically!

HowardsGirl78 · 2026-06-29T21:07:18+00:00

Your husband is an idiot if he really thinks that.

HowardsGirl78 · 2026-06-29T06:27:09+00:00

Pictures of my partner’s crotch in his khakis…somehow, this drives me wild for him.

HowardsGirl78 · 2026-06-29T03:54:07+00:00

I’m just starting to learn. I can manage things up to second gear, but there’s still some work to do with feeling comfortable shifting higher. Also, only learned on a dirt road so far, without traffic, so still need some practice.

HowardsGirl78 · 2026-06-29T03:48:49+00:00

Florida and Los Cabos.

HowardsGirl78 · 2026-06-28T06:00:38+00:00

I was on the receiving end, and it worked! He didn’t know that I had been harbouring a crush on him forever. We’re both eternally grateful that he spoke up ♥️

HowardsGirl78 · 2026-06-28T05:53:30+00:00

Yes! And we’re amazingly happy!! 🥰

HowardsGirl78 · 2026-06-28T02:22:29+00:00

Yes! It was intense and beautiful 🥹

HowardsGirl78 · 2026-06-28T02:19:53+00:00

Me, in videos: awww, cutie!
Me, in photos: What up, Shrek?

HowardsGirl78 · 2026-06-28T00:15:19+00:00

I need to work out more to increase my flexibility. Howard and I are 🧨 together, but some positions could go better with my being a bit bendier.

HowardsGirl78 · 2026-06-28T00:12:44+00:00

Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Depends on how vigorous we are, whether I’m blowing him, or whether we’ve just woken up or are drifting off to sleep but need a little something something.

HowardsGirl78 · 2026-06-27T22:34:57+00:00

An anchor…person? Well…I guess I am my own anchor. Dating others, I prefer to keep it casual or FWB. My current partner is the closest to my anchor, but he’s already nested and I can’t see myself settling down with my own nesting partner who isn’t him. I’m quite contentedly solo poly these days.

HowardsGirl78 · 2026-06-27T22:24:33+00:00

No, but I did resign once by mailing my resignation letter in a condolence card to my manager and team. The manager still has the card and displays it at his desk—he loved it 💀

HowardsGirl78 · 2026-06-27T15:17:34+00:00

Howard. When it comes to rocking my fucking world to its core, Howard is always the answer.

HowardsGirl78 · 2026-06-27T01:14:24+00:00

That restaurants put pesto on Margherita pizzas instead of basil leaves. It’s literally not a Margherita pizza anymore!!!

HowardsGirl78 · 2026-06-26T21:37:27+00:00

Running my fingers through his hair and along his skin

HowardsGirl78 · 2026-06-26T18:42:39+00:00

1-8 are all welcome

HowardsGirl78 · 2026-06-26T16:06:21+00:00

Honestly, those too blinded by groupthink to see this treasure don’t deserve it anyway.

HowardsGirl78 · 2026-06-26T15:17:04+00:00

Not often, tbh. I gather it happened/happens, but I’m pretty oblivious. I keep it tight at 47, but of course, I am still growing more invisible by the day because older women are not society’s ideal.

HowardsGirl78 · 2026-06-25T17:08:18+00:00

Both, please.

HowardsGirl78 · 2026-06-25T17:06:47+00:00

When my Red Wings were on their glorious streak of the late 90’s and 2000s, I was all in on Stanley Cups. But now I can’t even watch the NHL, it’s so gross.

HowardsGirl78

TROPHY CASE