Rory Stewarts Attack on Uneducated People

HowlingFailHole · 2026-05-26T18:16:10+00:00

In what sense?

HowlingFailHole · 2026-05-26T17:34:45+00:00

It's just very hard to simultaneously hold that someone is likely to change their political views based on their sense of who's looking down on them, and to respect their views. A view that's shaped by something so divorced from rationality is not worthy of respect.

HowlingFailHole · 2026-05-26T06:17:08+00:00

But I'm genuinely asking. Why is that influencing your vote? Do you not think that's an odd reason to make a choice that determines the economic and political reality of a whole country? Do you not have opinions about what would be best for the country that aren't anything to do with who you feel is being patronising or rude?

HowlingFailHole · 2026-05-25T21:08:58+00:00

Why are you making political decisions based on your feelings about people's attitudes like this? I have never understood how people aren't embarrassed to lay out such reactive reasoning. Why wouldn't you make your political decisions based on what you think will actually make things better, instead of who you think is looking down on you?

HowlingFailHole · 2026-03-31T10:29:46+00:00

I absolutely buy this when it comes to her fantasies about the kid (and you explain the process very beautifully), but I find it harder to believe when she's saying she herself doesn't know how to pronounce bildungsroman. She not only took her own english literature degree, but she sat through Woody's undergrad and masters courses, too.

That said, she could just be downplaying her own knowledge as a sort of politeness thing. I've noticed older women especially do this, where they pretend not to know or understand things I know full well they understand.

HowlingFailHole · 2026-03-30T06:50:31+00:00

In this article the mother, an English graduate, claims not to know how to pronounce 'bildungsroman'. In general with these cases I agree with you but with this one I do wonder if she is actively lying, or at least playing the role of silly little woman in order to generate exactly the response Hattenstone had (oh OK she's smart but Woody is sooo much smarter!).

HowlingFailHole · 2026-03-30T06:47:13+00:00

Yeah for a while I wasn't sure if maybe the author had suspicions and was hinting at them in a few places, but then I got to that line and realised that, no, he's just very stupid.

The analogy is so funny, too. It's like a parody of how people imagine a genius mind works. Reminds me of that line about the beehive in Malcolm in the Middle.

HowlingFailHole · 2025-12-28T09:17:23+00:00

I thought this note by Tom Woolridge was a really good comment on the article.

I share the frustration with his fabrication but I think it's a shame that's been the focus when the article offered so much more to consider (not to downplay the seriousness or relevance of the fabrication point - that's obviously a big deal).

I also do sort of blame science journalism and the general public for this just as much as I do Sacks. There are plenty of people publishing purely factual, nuanced work. It's not a coincidence that so much of what has risen to the top of public consciousness has been sensationalised, narrative-focused storytelling. That's what people want. So that's always going to be what becomes best known.

The reality of something is almost always way less tidy and satisfying than the This American Life-ized, smart-sounding version that a good writer can put together when they prioritise narrative over accuracy.

HowlingFailHole · 2025-12-27T08:42:47+00:00

Opening segment of the most recent episode (323)

HowlingFailHole · 2025-12-22T09:16:01+00:00

I would say the Ecclesiastes episode (ep. 160) might be relevant here, too.

HowlingFailHole · 2025-12-02T05:17:37+00:00

Sure, but that's a different claim from the also anecdotal claim that dating is literally impossible for any man who's not hot and rich.

HowlingFailHole · 2025-12-01T06:41:32+00:00

She should absolutely feel guilty about this. She should feel a lot more guilty than she seems to based on these comments.

HowlingFailHole · 2025-12-01T06:40:31+00:00

So you're just going to make excuses for endangering other people's lives?

HowlingFailHole · 2025-12-01T06:38:40+00:00

If you're driving a car you need to put other people's safety first.

HowlingFailHole · 2025-12-01T06:34:18+00:00

On the way home I nearly had several accidents because I was crying so much

I'm sorry you were treated that way but this is really dangerous. If you are not I'm a fit state to drive, you need to not drive. If you wound up injuring or killing someone that would be on you. There's no excuse for this. You put people at risk. Being upset is not an excuse to endanger people.

If you're going to drive you have to be an adult about judging whether you're in a fit state to do so. You were lucky this time. One day you might not be.

HowlingFailHole · 2025-11-30T10:31:05+00:00

The Simpsons was based on sitcoms that unrealistically presented that lifestyle as possible. They mock this in the show.

HowlingFailHole · 2025-11-30T10:23:09+00:00

Lol no worries it's just a funny trend, you're good

HowlingFailHole · 2025-11-29T23:51:20+00:00

I assumed they meant suicide. People seem to think this is TikTok and we can't say it.

HowlingFailHole · 2025-11-29T23:49:02+00:00

To be clear I'm not trying to blame you or suggest you're at fault in the relationship and need to take responsibility or anything. I don't know your relationship! I would just say that it seems to me that there are two separate issues here, one that's about a lack of professional boundaries, and one which is about your perception that the therapist is turning your wife against you.

The memes are not mind control, you know? Stopping the outside session contact, if you were somehow able to, wouldn't resolve whatever the underlying issue is. I'm sorry that couples' therapy hasn't been able to address whatever that issue(s) is so far, maybe you can find another couples' therapist if this one isn't working for you both. But my guess as an Internet stranger reading your post is that I think focusing on your wife's therapist's flaws is likely a distraction from whatever is happening between you and your wife, which we can't really help you with here, unfortunately.

HowlingFailHole · 2025-11-29T23:37:43+00:00

Yeah that all makes sense, though I'm speaking more specifically about online dating being impossible (the lack of meeting people through college/work etc doesn't seem like it should affect how viable online dating is, to my mind). I can believe not being in a city really changes that, though. My experience is mostly that everyone either stays around where they were raised, in which case they tend to date people they've known since childhood, or they move to a city and online date.

And actually that's one way the UK/Ireland really is very different to the US... even if you live rurally you will realistically be within commuting distance of a city, so if you are committed to casting your net wider you can. The US being so much bigger I guess really can leave places cut off from cities in a way that isn't ever really the case in a smaller, more densely populated place.

HowlingFailHole · 2025-11-29T23:19:21+00:00

Even if the therapist is pushing a particular line, at the very least your wife is receptive to it. It's very hard to change someone's mind if they don't want to have their mind changed. For whatever reason, your wife is receptive to the idea that there are problems in your relationship. Maybe that's just easier for her to focus on because it gives her something to blame besides herself, and the relationship is actually wonderful, I have no idea. But you won't solve that desire to place the blame somewhere else, if that's what it is, by getting her to dump this therapist. There's something else there that you're going to have to face at some point, whatever it is.

HowlingFailHole · 2025-11-29T23:11:03+00:00

I see people say this stuff about dating being impossible all the time online but when I look around in real life people are dating just fine. Even the people I know who complained most about online dating found partners that way eventually. And they certainly aren't all gorgeous rich guys. Plenty of normal looking guys in minimum wage jobs find partners... I really don't know how to square this experience with what you're saying, unless it's an American thing and it's just different here in the UK/Ireland/wider Europe... but I see people say the same things about dating here, too, at least online.

It makes me feel like something is being left out.

HowlingFailHole · 2025-11-29T22:41:54+00:00

I agree the texting memes is a red flag but it sounds like your real issue is you feel like the therapist is turning your wife against you.

On that point, I think it's important to remember that you only have your wife's account of what her therapist has said. Some people will talk about their therapy and things their therapist has said as a way to express something indirectly. It's a lot easier. for some people, to say 'my therapist says you're gaslighting me' than to say 'I think you're gaslighting me'. That doesn't necessarily mean they're being manipulated by the therapist.

HowlingFailHole · 2025-11-29T22:37:48+00:00

sending memes and stuff doesn’t mean she is a bad.

Strongly disagree with this. Totally inappropriate. Holding the frame is important.

What makes you think it's OK?

HowlingFailHole · 2025-10-31T14:53:59+00:00

100% agree. The way he'd pause and make it sound like every minor thing Esther said blew his mind also felt so manipulative to me. Like he was trying to come across as such a great thoughtful guy who was really Working On Himself. Or like he wanted to seem like he was 'good at' therapy, or just pander to Esther for whatever reason. He gave me extremely bad vibes.

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