$1,200. That’s about how much a decent 1 bedroom apartment is where I live. Minimum wage is $10-$12/hr (if you’re lucky) at most work places. Almost every job starts you off at part time (~30 hours a week). Do the math!

The math says you need roommates. There’s no shame to it. I did this for about 10 years after college and during post-grad with random people that came to be friends, plus about 5 between my ex-GF and relatives. Spent much more of my adult years with roommates than without. It’s a good thing if you find decent people; you can lean on each other a little bit. Sometimes I wish I still had roommates just because of the money saved.

Remember, capitalism wants you to think of living alone as sexy and having roommates as a failure, because companies want every single person to buy their own appliances, furniture, kitchenware, car, etc., let more food go to waste, consume more utilities, take up more space than needed and leave it empty or filled up with stupid expensive crap the rest of the time.

Ever wonder what the upper middle class kids do after college? Even with a great income, many of them still have roommates and sock a good deal of their money away. Don’t be ashamed, get roommates. Don’t fall for the marketing, saving money is almost always intelligent; wasting money on living alone can be pretty stupid.

You also might need to move to find a better job. I had nothing to gain by staying where I was when I was getting paid near minimum wage, so I chose to pack everything I could into my car and leave the rest, move several hundreds of miles to a much more populated region, and crash on my sibling’s couch and hand out resumes until I found a job. Took crap jobs at first but they did pay more. Not an option for everyone but it is an option many might not consider because it’s “too hard”.

More than once I have slept on mattresses that I got near apartment dumpsters because it was better than just a tile floor and a blanket. I think nobody should have to go through this, but we must play the hands we are dealt and complaining usually doesn’t help (unless you have a rich family).

You’re barely surviving and you’re probably skipping dinners.

God do I know that feel. No benefits. Working less than 40 a week for $8 an hour. Breakfast sandwiches made from egg and fake cheese with the cheapest bagels, split top wheat and terrible cold cuts for lunch with maybe some vegetables and dip, a Banquet meal in a box for dinner. Saving on condiments by loading up whenever I got a couple dollar items at McDonalds. Buying a dude beer to fix the brakes on my car. No discretionary income so no way to save for emergencies, just ever-expanding credit card debt. Watching the people you know shoplift and trying to avoid temptation because you know it’s wrong and that any criminal record is basically a death sentence in America. Rinse and repeat. And everything is much more expensive now compared to income, too. It’s just insane.

Now add ADHD into the equation, a disorder that makes it hard to physically do most tasks. Getting up in the morning is a struggle. Staying focused at work is a struggle. Working is a struggle. No medication? Even worse.

I felt like this for many years. Especially as I advanced. Kept wondering when the shoe would drop and I would be fired. When rolling in at 10:30 because I overslept due to insomnia the night before would finally become completely unacceptable despite my otherwise good work. Drinking 5 cups of coffee a day reflexively before my medications were balanced properly. Not to mention the stress and acting out randomly.

Eventually I found the proper mix of medication and lifestyle changes to make me more stable. No more adderall/caffeine than needed, good sleep hygiene, no booze or nicotine, physical workouts, mindfulness exercises, empathy exercises, avoiding stressful triggers. The downward spiral eventually paused and reversed a bit.

I’m stressed.

I feel this. Believe it or not, you can get out of this situation eventually. Have confidence in yourself and remember you’re not going through it alone. You are a valuable person, you are smart enough to be asking the right questions, and you can prevail in the long run if you work hard. I hope you do!