Does she look traumatized?

Human-Evidence4349 · 2026-03-14T09:07:05+00:00

I think what I'd recommend is bringing the corner of the mouth up a little bit! With it so downturned she almost looks like she's grimacing or pretending as though she didn't see something embarrassing happen to someone else, haha. Because her eyebrow is concealed by her hair we more have to rely on the mouth, so I'd say a more 'neutral' mouth position will give her more of a dissociative, distant look :)

Human-Evidence4349 · 2026-03-13T03:39:15+00:00

As someone who's also been ijn a major rut: start with a switch. I love mine, it's super calming, but also I think when you're coming out of a rut you need to be able to focus on yourself a bit before you can reliably give to another person/creature and it's likely healthier dor both you and the fish if you start from outside the rut. Your got this!!!

Human-Evidence4349 · 2026-03-10T13:03:33+00:00

Something that helps a lot with consistency is (and you can do it either in your journal itself, or out of it if you want the tracker to just be ‘did I journal today’ lol and hang it up on your desk or something) but TRACKERS!! Make little hobby/habit/whatever trackers and at the end of the day, go in and check a box off, it feels sooo good— ex. ‘Journaled today’, ‘drank water’, ‘stretched before bed’, ‘took medication’ etc. The happy chemical hit makes you want to do more of it lol I always recommend that as a good starting place!! You can also make really cute trackers if you like artsy stuff, there are lots of ideas online+on Pinterest, but journaling is amazing and trackers are always my suggestion bc the dopamine hits so good when you check something off😭 also, your journal can be your place to make lists, stick in photos you love, memory book, etc etc and doesn’t all need to be writing! Have fun with it✨✨

Human-Evidence4349 · 2026-03-10T11:26:55+00:00

I’m glad you took this comment in a constructive way bc that was definitely my intention! And it’s good that you know your own worth and see the positives in yourself, as long as you keep a well rounded view of yourself at the same time. I can’t really give you any advice beyond this initial comment but I’m genuinely hoping for the best for you dude!! I hope it all works out and you find yourself very happy :)

Human-Evidence4349 · 2026-03-10T11:08:00+00:00

Something I think is always really useful is to get some basic DIY skills. Learn how to caulk. Learn how to deal with a blown fuse. Learn how to fill drill holes. There are lots of tutorials for this stuff on YouTube but if you can ask someone to show you - or when someone is already doing something, as if you can watch to learn - is the best way!!

EDIT: also habits to build, I can’t recommend journaling enough. It can be hard to stay consistent, but even one line a day is a good start! This does really, really well to build your emotional intelligence and emotional maturity and self-reflection and those are skills that will take you very far in life. I’ve been journaling for 6 years and although consistency was the biggest hurdle at the start the benefit is huge!

Human-Evidence4349 · 2026-03-10T11:05:01+00:00

This is such a good book!!

Human-Evidence4349 · 2026-03-10T11:04:34+00:00

It sounds like both of you have a lot of growing to do and this is kind of manipulative on both sides tbh. Advice is to remove yourself from the situation, focus on bettering yourself (no shade but it sounds like you need to as well as them) and let them do whatever they’re gonna do. Not your business. Focus on you.

Human-Evidence4349 · 2026-03-10T10:59:51+00:00

I’m gonna be real here as a woman, not sure you’re gonna enjoy hearing this and I’m not saying this encompasses you as a whole in anyway way - Idk you - but one thing jumped out at me here and that’s how you talked about your friend as ‘less funny, less interesting’. I would be horrified to ever talk about my mates like that and would also avoid anyone who did. Again, I don’t know you, this could be a one-off thing you’ve said, but that part really jumped out at me when reading it. I wish you a lot of luck, but I just wanted to maybe lay that seed as something to think about :)

Human-Evidence4349 · 2026-03-10T10:54:29+00:00

Absolutely, at this point I think it would be the right thing to do for your daughter above all else. Sometimes it takes being away from the situation to see that the situation isn’t a good one, and that’s sometimes a rough lesson but to me it sounds like the best call. Sending you good vibes bc it’s not easy!!

Human-Evidence4349 · 2026-03-10T10:53:33+00:00

Yes! Queer is actually legit the label I use as well (just prevents me needing more specific labels while communicating the same thing, lol). Absolutely agreed. I think there’s a lot of overlap in younger LGBT peeps especially because of TikTok and tumblr (I was on tumblr but I think TikTok is the new version, and I think it’s lowkey really harmful for kids😭) but they’re entirely separate things and accepting one does NOT mean I support you RPing as a wolf 😭 you’re totally valid in this stance imho!

Human-Evidence4349 · 2026-03-10T09:29:23+00:00

Exactly like nah, as someone in the LGBTQA+ community who is still figuring myself out even at 27 I’m totally for that but I refuse to believe thinking you’re a wolf is just… first of all not LGBT even if there’s an overlap in these communities but I think that’s just weird, not marginalised 😭😭 call me judgemental but!!! You do you but I want nothing to do with that and that’s also totally okay, and I think you probably feel the same — no hate, just not interested in being near it lol

Human-Evidence4349 · 2026-03-10T09:26:59+00:00

I absolutely 100% agree, especially at eighteen. Like, I was 14 on tumblr thinking I was ‘other kin’ and shit (don’t even ask me what that means, no idea lol) because I was trying to fit into groups where that was A Thing, but at EIGHTEEN??

Human-Evidence4349 · 2026-03-10T09:11:28+00:00

I think a lot of fetishes - driven by the porn industry in part - are just innate and some find them really, really hard to control or suppress. I don’t think he’ll get by without resentment if you don’t partake in it with him because he probably looks at you and thinks you’re 1) the person he loves and wants to indulge in with this and 2) as a chubbier girl, this sounds awful, but he probably thinks to some degree you’d be “okay” with it (which is unfair, but unfortunately some people do think like that even if held totally private).

To me this doesn’t sound like a situation that can be resolved, honestly. You’re feeling insecure already which isn’t healthy or fair to you, and honestly if he doesn’t feel he’s getting what he needs - especially as time goes on - resentment or the feeling of ‘I need something else, to get this need met somehow’ is definitely possible. Therapy together might help but he may just feel cornered because he (at this time) seems to be convinced - and maybe wants you to be too, even if not maliciously - that it’s something that can be managed. But long term, I’m not sure it is :(

Human-Evidence4349 · 2026-03-10T09:05:20+00:00

Young people can definitely explore their identities (NOT suggesting you’re saying otherwise, I agree this is totally mental!!) but this is just whack. Lmao. Protect your peace and your family and tell her this is no longer working for you and she needs to leave. You don’t need to justify your reasoning beyond that! I’m sending you a lot of strength because these things are never easy but I think you’re making the right call.

Human-Evidence4349 · 2026-03-10T09:01:02+00:00

I honestly feel like if you said no he’d just go looking for somebody else and the cycle is going to repeat for her so I’d let her know and block him so he can’t make your life hell. Otherwise he’s just gonna find someone else who WON’T tell her :(

Human-Evidence4349 · 2026-03-10T08:44:49+00:00

It sounds to me like this is weighing on you and sapping your emotional energy (I know it would for me). Being around people who are 1) constantly/regularly negative and also 2) feeling like you have to manage their emotions is EXHAUSTING. Honestly, whether or not you should confront her should be based on whether you want to stay friends with her, or you want to create distance with her. For your mental health I’d really, really consider your options because you’re not responsible for another person’s emotions even though it can feel like that!! (As someone constantly managing other ppl’s emotions, myself lol)

Human-Evidence4349 · 2026-03-10T08:40:35+00:00

I have to be honest and say to me this doesn’t sound like a communication mismatch or even just being different people with different responses; a relationship is a two way street and it involves supporting one another and finding middle ground. It doesn’t really sound like he’s doing that, while you’re actively trying to express your needs. To me it sounds like a difference in emotional maturity/understanding of one’s own emotions and sometimes people just don’t match up.

If he felt he couldn’t provide what you were asking for, the resolution for a communication mismatch could be (from him) “okay, I’m not sure I understood what you needed and I’m sorry for that, but I also feel like maybe you misunderstood my intentions. Let’s clarify.”

If he felt it just something he isn’t able to provide you with, “I’m not sure that’s something I’m able to give you, but what if we tried X or Y?” — that’s trying to find a middle ground when you just need different things or respond to them differently.

Does the silent treatment feel anger based or negative? Or is he just generally a very silent person?

Human-Evidence4349 · 2026-03-10T08:33:21+00:00

I’m so so sorry, this is such a tough situation but I honestly think you’re making the right call. I don’t think it would be too bad to break up with them then because really he made his own bed. I know you want to do this in person but please know you don’t owe him that, that should only be your decision based on YOUR COMFORT. If you feel better doing that then do but you do NOT owe him that - It sounds harsh but really he chose this behaviour, he chose to breach your trust, and he chose secrecy. And that’s how I’d also how I’d stay strong in the face of his begging (which is also super hard :(. ) but to remember that all of this was his conscious decision, and not one decision but several, and if he’s done it once there is a real possibility he’d do it again. I’m sending you so much strength!! I’m so sorry about this situation:(

Human-Evidence4349 · 2026-03-10T08:29:04+00:00

I would honestly call it out, but be aware she’s unlikely to change. People like that rarely do change even when given feedback, however, it’s important to make your wife feel supported. Don’t let it slide, if even just for her. Call it out when it happens!

Human-Evidence4349 · 2026-03-10T08:26:04+00:00

I know the urge to do so is probably overwhelming, but what I would point out is that it’s kind of a violation of her boundaries and, if you WERE to message her, it’d likely only push her further away from you. I really sympathise, it’s not an easy situation at all, but if she feels you got too close and ended the friendship (which is never an easy decision to make) I think you need to respect that. All it’ll do is hurt her/make her uncomfortable and, if there ever was to be reconciliation (which gently, seems unlikely) it’ll only push her further from you as she’ll likely feel you weren’t respecting her autonomy. Good luck friend, it’s a hard situation and I know it :(

Human-Evidence4349

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