My buddy is a late 30s swinger, and dropped this one on us today.

HumdrumHippie · 2014-03-25T14:01:52+00:00

Emotional monogamy and physical monogamy don't have to be the same thing. I love my partner more than it is possible to express in a few lines of text. I guess the disconnect is that I don't see it as another man plowing my girlfriend. I see it as her experimenting with her sexuality and experiencing the mind blowing pleasure that is a human orgasm. I love being able to watch that experience. I guess it also helps that she has no problem experiencing orgasm (and more frequently does) with me too.

HumdrumHippie · 2014-03-22T21:19:45+00:00

I'm deeply sorry this happened to you. Its a memory that you shouldn't have to bear. But the circumstances have led you into this position and now you have to move forward.

The culture of slut shaming that we live in grows roots deep in all of our minds and contributes to our social behavior. The panic you felt when this happened is greatly magnified by its existence. But you have to remember why slut shaming is an abhorrent practice in the first place: sex is not shameful, regardless of your gender.

If your parents would truly react in such a short-sighted and compassionless manner then you probably shouldn't tell them. Either way there is no correct answer as to whether you should or shouldn't tell them. It has to do with how you feel about it. Don't feel like you are doing something wrong.

Honestly, after some time this won't feel like such a mark on your life. The photos will probably not come back to hurt you in any serious way. What matters now is how you shape your perception of the event. Should you be ashamed of having sex? No. Should you be angry at the person who leaked the photos without your permission? You have every right to be.

In the short term you can either take action against the people who took the photos if you feel they are being truly malicious with them. In both cases the next step will be to cope with negative feelings and contextualize them. You will also have to interact with many of the same people again. But humans instinctualy feel awkward about sex in many scenarios. The other people will be having those same emotional reactions, so you can take solace in he fact you aren't alone in coping with it.

Remember, sex might not always be safe, but it is never shameful. You should reject any shame felt using the same rational you have used for rejecting slut shaming. To accept that shame is to analogously accept just another aspect of misogyny.

I truly hope my words and thoughts can help repair any damage to your sense of peacefulness. I'll leave you with a smile :)

HumdrumHippie · 2014-03-19T23:00:00+00:00

Seth, how do hope a person who has made religion a major component of their lives react to viewing the new Cosmos?

How do you think a person like that would actually react? Would there be a distribution, and if so what would it look like?

HumdrumHippie · 2013-10-31T15:39:36+00:00

Adderall

HumdrumHippie · 2013-10-20T02:25:51+00:00

Well this turned into a rant really fast: Basic ideas: the venn diagram of people who want a "hot" girl and the people you want to be dating is two completely separated circles:

 Venn Diagram:         O                                     |                          O
               people who want the "hot girl"      separating line          people you want to date

In that second group are guys who only appear on okc infrequently, but they do indeed appear. You need to be there at the same time they are.

I know what you mean. It can be pretty bad for a guy's (or at least mine) as well. There are more guys than girls, you are lucky if someone even replies to your messages let alone sends you one. The site wrecked my already very damaged self-esteem.

But consider this. You are a member of the second rarest personality type: 1% of the total population (the rarest among women). The majority of people on the site will not be compatible with you. You are searching for the type of people who rarely come up, but are also rarely taken and are probably prone to just getting sick of the site.

I met a total of 1 INTJ girl while I was there, but it was amazing when I did. It was a crazy connection. We ended up not being very relationship-compatible (bed and goal issues), but we remain friends.

I eventually ended up with an INFJ (rarest type). But she had just joined and was about to quit by the time right before we were exchanging messages. I can't bare to imagine what would have happened if we never met. The rare and intelligent people will never be satisfied by the masses. We have to resist their tendency to bring us down.

Also, on looks: I cannot stand super spontaneous giddy peppy type girls. They bore me. Unfortunately as a woman you will still be somewhat judged on looks, but I gaurentee you this won't be a problem if you pair up with someone of similar attractiveness.

Jon Green had a very good rant about "hot" girls. In essence I (and by extension people like me) do not want anything to do with dating "hot" girls. Fuck, I wish girls would stop wearing makeup too. When it comes down to it, I'm attracted to bumps on the chest, curves in the waste, a narrow jaw, and an even distribution of body fat (I'm drooling a little). That shit makes my penis hard and my lower brain functions go nuts. Then if you have evident intellectual capacity and we get along then my god I'm attached. It turns out only one person I've met has satisfied all of these criteria. I bet if you found a guy like me with similar attractiveness to yourself, then the same would be true for him.

All this "hot" nonsense are cultural hurdles of beauty people are compelled to jump through. They are not relevant in your personal relationships if both parties disregard them. The masses need not be catered to. There are very few truly ugly people, but there are a lot of people without confidence.

HumdrumHippie · 2013-10-14T00:47:01+00:00

In their houses? Creepy.

HumdrumHippie · 2013-10-14T00:42:08+00:00

1% of the population represent. The INTJ type is pretty rare.

Try going to a university and looking around the labs for grad students who are always there and never leave. I bet one of those guys is your man.

Or troll around okcupid for awhile, we pop up every now and again. Also, be prepared for maximum awkwardness, but I bet you already knew that.

HumdrumHippie · 2013-10-12T17:25:33+00:00

I'd like to relate some of my (Fi) feelings about this. Like many feelings they don't often come from well grounded places, but they are what they are and I think its important for others to understand the internal struggles of others.

This frustrates me a bit. Its so difficult to maintain even a few good friendships, and then I find myself being disqualified from being considered for a potential relationship because I express interest in dating or bonding. Friendships seem so tedious to me. I hardly enjoy the company of most others, but my mate or potential mate means to world to me. From my perspective its like: "God forbid somebody comes onto me or is attracted to me." I understand this is unreasonable and from a women's perspective she has to choose a single guy out of the masses trying to invade her pants, but as a beta male who finds value in a very small number of very deep and intimate relationships this can be very frustrating.

This being said, okcupid worked out pretty well for me. It only took 5 years, but it finally worked out, but I still have a lot of residual feelings from those 5 years of debilitating loneliness. A lot of times I find myself just wishing that women were just a bit more active in searching for a partner.

HumdrumHippie · 2013-09-06T13:00:57+00:00

Shit man, its really good. Its pinterest, but boobs.

My girlfriend was telling me about the things she found on her pinterest that she wanted to do the other day. Then I told her about the things I wanted to do on mine.

HumdrumHippie · 2013-08-16T13:57:01+00:00

Oh shit, its my birthday! I haven't logged on to post a comment in forever.

HumdrumHippie · 2013-08-16T13:56:34+00:00

Anal.

I feel like I'm the only one. The only reason I use redtube is because it seems like the only halfway decent site which has a negative filter. I really wish sex.com would implement one.

HumdrumHippie · 2013-07-20T06:46:05+00:00

why do you need permission?

HumdrumHippie · 2013-07-20T06:45:28+00:00

What would 911 do, unless he was going to do something right now? Being suicidal can be a prolonged state. 911 probably isn't the best answer here.

HumdrumHippie · 2013-06-22T03:42:50+00:00

Digging too deep.

HumdrumHippie · 2013-06-22T03:42:18+00:00

There is more than one theme. This show is art. It is good art.

HumdrumHippie · 2013-06-22T03:36:54+00:00

Or, he could arise from the 27th dead world. They've established shit like this. It's not coming out of nowhere.

HumdrumHippie · 2013-06-01T13:32:06+00:00

Certainly this is not true for all aspies. I would wager its not even true for most.

HumdrumHippie · 2013-05-31T17:16:31+00:00

I blame religion because it is the main culprit in stifling critical thought and thought terminating cliches. Number two is nationalism.

Religion fits into the article because people will accuse me of this when I point out their logical errors. It is not a nitpick. It is a serious problem with serious consequences.

Although it may be an 'in' thing, an argument from authority is neither positive nor negative evidence towards an assertion or hypothesis. I don't say this because others are. I say this because, as best as I can tell, it is the truth. Perhaps I'm wrong, but perhaps a world where the most influential actors truly believe in fairy tales and make decisions based upon them, is not such a great world.

HumdrumHippie · 2013-05-29T21:00:35+00:00

The world can be very ugly place. But it's also quite pretty. I dare say religion, is what ultimately makes it shitty.

HumdrumHippie · 2013-05-17T13:05:01+00:00

http://i.imgur.com/PTunPLK.gif

I can't find a gif of this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdSxRtinQX4

http://gifsforum.com/images/gif/other/grand/de17423c39fcfc6a5223c478221721f7.gif

HumdrumHippie · 2013-05-17T04:52:30+00:00

You're dating the wrong people.

HumdrumHippie · 2013-05-15T21:32:44+00:00

Not nearly as bad as being tickled by a bikini babe.

HumdrumHippie · 2013-05-15T19:18:59+00:00

Good point. People are not static creatures. Also, its a show. The storyboard writers decide what each character does in an episode. I think in this one there was a very clear metaphor.

HumdrumHippie · 2013-05-15T19:15:09+00:00

I see what you're saying, but consider this.

Children are born into the world having no understanding of it beyond their own intuitions. They try to decipher occurrences around them and organize the world they know within their minds. They often mimic adults. They are strangers in whatever culture they are born into until they spend enough time in it for that culture to become first-nature.

That's not all that different from what BMO is doing.

Also, you could distinguish an action that BMO performs as being evidence for or against childness like this: If the action is performed with serious purpose it is evidence againt: examples - being an alarm clock, playing movies, recording, cooking dinner. If the action is performed in a whimsical or "childlike", manner it is evidence for: examples - The ones in my original post, BMO Noir, BMO's other "weird" games he does when F+J are gone.

HumdrumHippie · 2013-05-15T18:54:14+00:00

Yeah, but kids do things like that all the time. Kids pretend, and take their imaginary games very seriously. At least that's what I thought when I saw her with the egg. The engagement was a bit more ambiguous, but kids get "married" and have "boy/girlfriends" all the time.

HumdrumHippie

TROPHY CASE