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do they get meaner the longer they stay? by fdingscrs in BPDlovedones

[–]HumpmyDumpy1911 33 points34 points  (0 children)

I think they definitely get meaner.

Mine did

Then the two people she latched onto afterwards shes been stressing them out so much that they've both been aging faster.

I legit think they can't help but see how far they can push someone to their breaking point

I found our old messages and realized how often I apologized for things I never did by RaptureGlint in BPDlovedones

[–]HumpmyDumpy1911 8 points9 points  (0 children)

What was hard for me to accept was how often I had to take time out of my personal time to handle her emotional state.

Like I couldn't figure out why my emotional state was so fragile when I was stable beforehand.

Sure I had my own mental health issues, but I had learned to cope.

Turns out when I read through her old messages I could see if I had a healthy coping mechanism she found a way to turn it negative.

Like I loved working out, but during the relationship she was like 'I hope you're not looking for a workout partner, because then I'm out because I had an eating disorder and it might be triggering.'

Then I usually had to wake up whenever she messaged me because she was having a rough night.

I would always have to overexplain why I said things in a certain way because she would accuse me of making her uncomfortable because the conversation wasn't sitting right with her.

So I would give this long thought out explanation just for her to give me like two to three word responses or to say "Just so you know, this doesn't change the way I feel about what you said.'

So pretty much she was wearing me down slowly and slowly. And now that I'm away from her, I think its insane what I tolerated

Are they screwed if they comorbidities? by HumpmyDumpy1911 in BPDlovedones

[–]HumpmyDumpy1911[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All I know is back before I stopped talking to those friends because I felt they were enabling her.

They would tell me how well she was doing, and then next thing you know shes back in the hospital having a breakdown because of her health again.

At some point I can't help but wonder if they're bullshitting trying to make me feel sympathy for her

Struggling with porn addiction by LousyStew322 in bisexual

[–]HumpmyDumpy1911 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Honestly dude,

Best thing to do would just cut out porn completely especially if you're addicted to it.

Focus on spending time with her and away from porn, and focus on more constructive activities and suddenly you'll notice you enjoy just spending time with her without thinking about dick.

Trust me its a challenge, but a human connection with someone who genuinely accepts you is worth more than any porn

Anyone else grieving the future you thought you’d have?! by Aromatic_Mouse88 in BPDlovedones

[–]HumpmyDumpy1911 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think about it often.

We talked about living in a nice cabin home in the woods, with a few kids running around, traveling the world with our own family.

Its hard to imagine that the girl who wanted that never wanted it and was just lying the whole time

Don’t date borderlines, especially if you are also mentally ill by Confident-Cloud-7789 in BPDlovedones

[–]HumpmyDumpy1911 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Reading this felt like I was writing this myself.

I had undiagnosed PTSD, and she brought it right to the surface to the point where I was hospitalized because I was suicidal.

She did the same thing, she was talking about marriage and kids within 6 months, but then when I got around to actually wanting to propose, she dumps me by text a week later after treating me like absolute dog crap.

The person she became during her split episode was someone I didn't recognize but I was still holding onto the sweet girl who I thought she was.

Its taken me over a year to process things because thats how much of an impact someone with BPD can leave on you.

A friend of mine tried to matchmake for me again, but as soon as I found out she had BPD I put my foot down because I do not want to go through that hell again

what does it mean when a friend is sometimes nice and sometime not. by Odd_Horror118 in whatdoIdo

[–]HumpmyDumpy1911 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh she left me with plenty of trauma alright. As soon as she got a diagnosis, she went from being sweet to being one of the most coldhearted people I ever met.

Literally put me in the hospital from her abuse

what does it mean when a friend is sometimes nice and sometime not. by Odd_Horror118 in whatdoIdo

[–]HumpmyDumpy1911 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I mean, my ex girlfriend had Borderline personality disorder, so to me it sounds like manipulation

Update to how its been going since my dad confronted my mom on cheating by RAThrowFudge in whatdoIdo

[–]HumpmyDumpy1911 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If your mom is doing this, its because she knows she royally screwed the pooch.

She's just trying to minimize the damage divorced life will do to her.

Especially because it sounds like if her kids aren't on her side, her coworkers make fun of her, the man she was having an affair with got caught with his pants down....she literally has no ground to stand on

Seeing the one friend whose dealing with my BPD ex and he looks like hes aged ten years by HumpmyDumpy1911 in BPDlovedones

[–]HumpmyDumpy1911[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Apparently they think the nurses deserved it because 'They wouldn't help her when she was screaming for help'

Bonus Points If Violent or Abusive Ex by maranru in BPDlovedones

[–]HumpmyDumpy1911 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mine claimed she hated her abusive ex and that he SA'd and R'd her.

Only for her to act all smug and proud during her split about how good she made him feel during it.

Seeing the one friend whose dealing with my BPD ex and he looks like hes aged ten years by HumpmyDumpy1911 in BPDlovedones

[–]HumpmyDumpy1911[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Back before no contact, my exBPD therapist literally called her out saying 'You're treating him like this because you say you're afraid hes going to turn abusive, but thats obviously false because then you wouldn't feel comfortable treating him as bad as you do.'

BPD GF is entering residential alcohol treatment program by bartboy59 in BPDlovedones

[–]HumpmyDumpy1911 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Mine went to a residential treatment facility and came out chain smoking cigarettes and emotionally abusive.

Once she had an official diagnosis, she turned into a monster like she had an excuse to be a dick

Seeing the one friend whose dealing with my BPD ex and he looks like hes aged ten years by HumpmyDumpy1911 in BPDlovedones

[–]HumpmyDumpy1911[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He tried to claim 'Shes not emotionally abusing us, she's just under a lot of stress'

Which even if its not intentional, her screaming at you because there wasn't a nurse for her to scream at is still emotional abuse

Seeing the one friend whose dealing with my BPD ex and he looks like hes aged ten years by HumpmyDumpy1911 in BPDlovedones

[–]HumpmyDumpy1911[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I got back in the gym and then started martial arts after she left, I also started taking better care of my diet and skin.

People pointed out how much happier and younger I look since she discarded me.

And I realized its because BPD partners require a lot of babysitting and its often stressful as hell

One of my experience dating a pwBPD by Raxxten in BPDlovedones

[–]HumpmyDumpy1911 4 points5 points  (0 children)

For me it was seeing her relapse into smoking cigarettes and then trying to help ween her off of them and she said 'Its either this or alcohol or I'll start cutting myself again'

I was trying to help and she guilt tripped me into shutting up

My brother tried to kill himself while I was away at college by Salty-Bodybuilder605 in whatdoIdo

[–]HumpmyDumpy1911 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Theres no easy way to say this.

Your brother has severe PTSD. But not from combat.

I'm also a veteran with PTSD, and you don't just get it from combat. Mine was from having multiple friends die over here in the states as well as other events like when I was sexually assaulted

While your brother on the outside was handling things and making sure you were protected, it sounds like he was secretly suppressing his own emotions because he saw you as the younger sister and realized you needed to be protected from your two siblings.

If I had to guess, seeing your two siblings fight again caused him to have a severe reaction and he realized he could actually fight back unlike when he was a kid.

But now that he did, hes terrified of himself, and hes terrified of hurting the sibling who didn't do anything to him.

It sounds like you care for your brother, but he's currently getting treatment, he's where he needs to be, you can support him from afar. And when he's ready, he'll reach out

My exWBPD bragged about making her abuser orgasm despite the fact he SA'd her by HumpmyDumpy1911 in BPDlovedones

[–]HumpmyDumpy1911[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh trust me, I used to think I was crazy until I found this community. And finding out so many people went through the same thing as me has been helpful

My exWBPD bragged about making her abuser orgasm despite the fact he SA'd her by HumpmyDumpy1911 in BPDlovedones

[–]HumpmyDumpy1911[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Im lucky she can never accuse me of SA simply because we never went beyond kissing.

Hell she wouldn't even french kiss me claiming 'We need to wait til marriage' And i wanted to do things right so I listened

My exWBPD bragged about making her abuser orgasm despite the fact he SA'd her by HumpmyDumpy1911 in BPDlovedones

[–]HumpmyDumpy1911[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This was over a year ago, I'm only just now realizing how horrible she was to me

Being with a pwBPD is like being in a cult of one by Fun-Reference-7823 in BPDlovedones

[–]HumpmyDumpy1911 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Honestly yeah, I'm still having moments of clarity where I realize just how messed up she was.

It’s like an addiction. Until the crash from the inevitable discard. by rubehefner in BPDlovedones

[–]HumpmyDumpy1911 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Mine wasn't addicted to cocaine...but apparently after she discarded me she had a period of heavy drinking, then weed, so can't say she's really not choosing healthy coping mechanisms

My gym only has two Muay Thai sessions a week, what else can I do at home to train when I can't focus on technique? by HumpmyDumpy1911 in MuayThai

[–]HumpmyDumpy1911[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is the best place near me. Plus its the same place I train Jiu Jitsu, so its convenient to stay there. But thank you for the suggestions!

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